I Owe You PV Hans Jenssen

Roleplaying as Hans Jenssen

Reducio

In Hans’ most humble opinion, Nikolai should invest in an alarm clock. In fact, most things in the world were more civilised than an incendio in the, even to him, ungodly hours of the morning. And he thought Nik was a night owl.

At least it was far enough above his face; otherwise the grinning little son of a bitch would be dead already.

Like most eager twelve year olds, Hans’ thirteenth birthday was a long anticipated affair. Unlike expectations though, he didn’t exactly wake up feeling the maturity of teen hood. One would think that even the first breath of air on the 25th of March would feel like the sweet free delight of a new era, but no, every remained as mundane as ever, or however mundane life could be in this odd, extraordinary world. The rebellious glamour that had always seemed alluring when depicted by his elder schoolmates were yet to settle in. In fact he did not feel a day older than the kid he was, which was infuriating, but all the same perhaps a bliss he was yet to realise. After all only when we have matured to we yearn for the returns of childhood.

Whatever, he wasn’t Nik and he wasn’t about to philosophise in the early morning. Instead raising a hand that batted around where he guessed his devilish friend’s arm to be he prodded and probably missed. “We’ve got plans?” He murmured, disorientated, flipping off the covers that had muffled his voice. “No, you’ve got plans, and probably ones to get me killed at that."

Turning on his side he cracked his eyes open to find what outrageous thing his dorm mate had prepared and insisted that he needed. Laughing he pulled the piece down from his face and held it under the barely risen sunlight. Swimwear? “Oh, drowning. I like this.”

The wetsuit was… interesting, which more or less meant, “you could have gotten me anything for the day I officially become a teenager and you got me this”. Hans would never usually wear something of the sort though he supposed it was fitting for Durmstrang’s weather; swim trunks in the Laplands’ waters could not have been the most responsible decision. Which also begged a question: it being still March, would the icy lakes of Scandinavia have melted yet? Oh technicalities — after all magic existed to remove such tedium, didn’t it? Then of course Nikolai could not have settled for the ordinary either. In a bright red colour and with his name in gigantic letters it was practical here, bound to scare off whatever sea monsters laid in the waters’ depths. Too flamboyant to be practical elsewhere though.

Then again he had not swam in a while. Not only was the Durmstrangnian cold unforgiving (ice baths could be left to someone else, thank you very much) but he had never gotten around to it. After his last official competition in his first year, the realisation slowly and torturously dawned on him that, like most things in his new and coveted life, he could not have one foot in the air and one in water, especially not in this school’s conditions. Although was promises made that he would keep it a pastime at least, his outings to the lakes began to dwindle as other activities consumed his interest. After all, a humble human could only go so fast compared to a broom in the open sky. So the sport faded into the background of his life and he supposed like most other things of his earlier years, Hans had just never gotten around to it.

With the promise of excitement ahead Hans doubted his writer would have spared the interest to write out his morning routine, but one could assume he brushed his teeth and washed his face.

“Alright, it’s your turn to lead the way today.”

@Matthew Campbell as Nikolai Vol’ka

Date: March 25th

In Hans' waking confusion he wouldn't clock the slight wince of the boy on the opposite side of the room, in reaction to his comment. Logic dictated that Hans didn't really think Nikolai would try and kill him, it was a ridiculous notion and Nikolai knew it too, he knew this was the way they had joked for a year but that felt like millennia ago. Nikolai would never hurt him, he promised himself but within his mind a different whisper lingered. The haunting wispy words of his subconscious reminding him of the part of himself he actively denied every morning. The part of himself that still lurked in his nightmares, a stalking predator capable of the Volkov cruelty that wore his own face.

Shaking his head clear he closed his eyes for a moment while Hans got himself ready making sure to laugh a little with his brother in unison. Presenting himself as more healed than he was, to hide the insanity that roamed free through his body. He just had to breathe, just like Hans had told him less than a year, yet, a lifetime ago. The memory brought a slight smile to his face, revelling in the wisdom of the boy of only 12 years. In Nikolai's vision of the future Hans was going to be something special, no matter what he pursued and who he became the wizarding world would be blessed to have him. However, despite his best attempts, that version of the future could never extend to him. Nikolai would watch his brother grow and excel, but he wasn't sure of his own place anymore. Once he might have been by his side but now, now Nikolai didn't know where he belonged.

It was as if, in finally freeing himself of the Volkov name, he had released himself from all the shackles binding him and in doing so discovered there were more than met the eye. Taking his father to trial wasn't just an act of disowning his birthright but of truly relinquishing it. A decision he thought he had made a year ago now finalised and with it came unimaginable freedom. So, now came the time to decide who he was, and as much as he wanted to, he was surprised to learn that he didn't know how. While not quite as academic as his brother Brodny, Nikolai prided himself on his intellect, on rarely failing to conjure an answer. But now he was stumped.

Since retuning to classes he had all but refused to perform magic when not entirely necessary. A wand that once felt like an extension of his very arm now grew unfamiliar in his touch, foreign to his skin. All passion, and wonder of the magical world paled in comparison to the darkness it was capable of. Everything just seemed and felt wrong and whenever he tried to vocalise his feelings the expressions just never hit the mark. How can you describe something you don't understand, how can you express the conflict of emotion, how can you know who you are when everything you once were is gone?

At the very least, the void he was left with from these questions had led him to discover today's adventure. The thought reminding him of his intention and anchoring him back as his breathing steadied his racing heart. No today was not about existentialism or any matters so complex, it was about getting his relationship with Hans back on track. The brotherly connection they had forged was practically indestructible but he had tested it at the very height of its limit and while it did not break it certainly bent. This was the path to realigning them and it was his sole focus.

Turning to meet rich, chocolate brown eyes he once thought he'd be lost in forever he smiled brightly taking in the view of the swim suit he had helped design. It was certainly no work of art but it suited the occasion perfectly and frankly as long as Hans didn't really drown or freeze to death, the morning was sure to be a success. Even speaking the thought of death brought a shiver to Nikolai's spine it would hardly compare to the real chill that was to come. March was in no way warm, while spring had reared its head and sprouted the mountainous region of Durmstrang in wild colourful flowers, no real heat had yet returned. It was certainly not going to be a pleasant beginning to the day but what he had set up on the other side would surely be worth it.

Moving towards the door he turned and with a devilish smirk reminiscent of old times said, "Just try and keep up with me, I know you're out of practice but I don't need you drowning on me properly." His face was a mask, it spoke all the right cues and didn't falter under the sick that brewed when he thought of death but it never really connected as much anymore. Humour just felt lifeless still to him, disconnected from his mind. If there was anyone that could bring it back it was Hans, at least so he hoped. Spurring a tangent in his mind he suddenly shut the door behind him and ran back over to his bed laughing heartily for the first time in a long time. After some rummaging through his trunk while telling his no doubt perplexed dormmate to "Wait," for the millionth time Nikolai drew out a small tin container. Handing it to the boy he couldn't hide the howl of laughter that broke free, "This is gift number one, some slug repellent, you know, you can never be too careful, right. If you read the bottom there's instructions!"

Inscribed on the bottom were the words 'Salt sold separately'. Watching with utter amusement as Hans' expression would change, reliving the joke he had been ridiculed by the upperclassmen for. Knowing Nik was past pushing his luck, to not receive the cannister straight to the head, he bolted towards the door laughing as he went. For a second it was real, and they were themselves and everything was perfect. And even if it only lasted a second, it was perfect. Adrenaline pushing his feet he shouted behind him "Come on racer, you're not going to beat me on the swim but you might have a chance of outrunning me to the water edge. Might" All the challenge in the world lingered in his final word. Really competition had lost its vigour for Nik but if it made this special day more enjoyable for Hans it was worth it.

Anything to repay a debt he never could, anything to rebuild a bridge he had burned. Hans' birthday would be special and it would be meaningful, no one would rob them of that.

Interacting with Hans Jenssen @Archer Duncan

Roleplaying as Hans Jenssen

Reducio

It was a good day.

As good as days can be, at least. The barely risen sun shone bright over fields of half-melted snow, the wildflowers began to poke their way through in the ever-changing cycle of seasons, the birds started to chirp even at such an early hour. And, at least for a day, the universe must have found it deserved for the both of them to be happy together. It was the least owed to them.

“Just try and keep up with me, I know you're out of practice but I don't need you drowning on me properly.”

“If I’m out of practice I don’t know what you are. But don’t worry, I’ll be kind and wait for you,” Hans shot back, easing comfortably into their familiar back and forth of banter. He returned the smirk, and allowed himself to at least believe there exchange was no different to the ones they had engaged in so many times before. About to follow him into whatever wondrous catastrophe they were about to walk into, his gaze was caught with curiosity as Nik turned.

Hans watched with puzzled eyes as Nik rummaged crazed in his trunk, finally rolling his eyes as he made out the object presented to him. Just to indulge the boy, he turned the bottle over and reading the words humour and a touch of, surprising himself, nostalgia glinted in his eyes as his lips spread into an amused smile. Raising his eyebrows roguishly in a face that said if this was any other day you would be dead already, none of it mattered he was soon to join into Nikolai’s laughter. Even if it was just one sound, for one glorious, beautiful moment, he was treasuring it, one first heard in a long time. Like the crinkling ice of a water fall melting, the melody this room had been deprived of for a long time and finally blessed with was now a precious rarity. Hearing that with enough.

Well, if this stuff actually worked he would be damned. He sprayed some of the stuff into the air then without warning playfully towards the boy across him for good measure. Hans said with more than a dash of audacity, “Considering I live with one, this is a very thoughtful gift!”

Utterly foolish of him to think he could deliver the gag gift without repercussions, yet completely idiotic of him to think he was getting away without proper appreciation either. When Nikolai made a sudden bolt for the door Hans’ instincts too came to life and he sprang up after him the canister left forgotten on his bed. Ignoring his dorm mate’s shouts he kept his head down and sprinted to catch up, banging the door violently and uncaringly behind them. As the boy glanced back with devilish challenge he would see Hans in a barrelling approach, hands reached out as they clasped around the blond’s chest. Tackling him in the sudden embrace, he brought his brother to a halting stop in the middle of the corridor. The words slipped with a smile and not much control the same way his action just had. “Not so fast, that’s a foul you know?”

Just as that day on the hike when after first opening up to him on topics always quickly glossed over with careless laughter, Nik had dropped the casual atmosphere as they joined in a hug. Then as he would remember the world disappearing around them, as it had in summer rain, or Autumn dew, or the infirmary’s clatter of wheels. Being the fruit of romanticisation maybe it never happened, but then again it was only a hug, an action so mundane yet on a day so far away it seemed he could never return to it. But despite it all Hans continued to maintain love will only cease to exist once there is no more belief in it. No different from the pair of snowbirds so vividly imprinted into his memory from the day, the world, even the dark, treacherous world, will hold reminders of its good. Well, consider the favour returned at least.

He needn’t have spoken the words for Nikolai to understand: Thank you, I love you. It had truly been less than a matter of months that a bond had bloomed but it was one soon sent into hell and high water. His twelfth birthday was one where he had relished being away from that dormitory once suffocating, and it had been only a matter of a year ago. A year that had passed with surreal speed as one miracle led to another, and as one disaster led to another. It felt unreal, in a way good as much as it was bad. Today Nikolai might only have viewed it as a bare second of perfection, but if Hans had to tear the very fabrics of the universe itself to stretch it out into a minute, an hour, and a lifetime, he would. He was thankful for much, much more than just the presents or the day promised to him.

As naive as he could be sometimes Hans wasn’t blind. With a mask like the one he had once worn almost synonymous to skin he knew the words and smiles didn’t reflect his heart, the one battered and broken and crudely patched up. Nik wasn’t as healed as he wanted Hans to believe and being well aware healing took patience and compassion it was a state he had no qualms with, for however much he wished to end his brother of his agony he knew it lasted long past after his wounds had closed, even after his scars had faded. Even if he presented himself otherwise Hans hesitated to think of what still brewed inside for he was still hurting. Nikolai didn’t have to be strong for him or anyone else but Hans was glad he was. He had been brave and not just the running into flames and surviving attempted murder — even before their adventure Hans appreciated all the effort that had clearly been set into the day. He thanked him for making this day meaningful and trying to heal their brotherhood even when he was not entirely healed; he loved him for his care, and his determination, and that unkillable drive that would surely return with time.

After having settled there for as long as the both of them wanted, pulling away he managed a grin, not exactly the same waggish grin it had been but it was wide and joyous nonetheless. Sharing glances at Nikolai as if they were both musing at an inside joke, Hans readied himself into position and counted down:

“Okay, now, three, two, one!”

@Matthew Campbell as Nikolai Vol’ka

Date: March 25th

Sometimes a hug was just a hug, a friendly greeting or non-event between friends; this was not one of those times. Hans occupied a part of Nikolai's brain he was uniquely fluent in, they shared a language between them that did not require words. It was naive to believe the Russian could possibly hide his hurt from him, and ironic to think that both boys acted in the way they did to protect the other. Nik didn't want Hans to see how scarred he was inside and out, he didn't want to rob both of them of a childhood but the truth was plain that such desires were already long defeated. Nikolai couldn't hide from the sun's light, it lived within him igniting its twin flame.

Settling into the hug he wished that the clock could pause for eternity, locked in time like the captured frame of a picture or immortalised in oil somewhere in a museum. Nikolai wished that he was free of all the necessary burdens weighing him down as in Hans embrace he was nothing but light. Innately Hans had the power to break his spiralling cycles and wisp him away to a romanticised version of his life where he lived peacefully, where he was not broken but blossomed. A version he hoped he was building towards, with brotherhood as its foundation; but one that was still far from reach. In this embrace he could almost touch it, but when time returned and the clock restarted his real story the distance regrew and reminded him of its grandeur.

Smiling wistfully from the moment, the race began and with ruthlessness re-emerging he cut Hans off with a jarred foot, boastful with his words, "No this is a foul." Though his arrogance would prove too great for the graceful ballerina Hanselina and he avoided the attack with lightning reflexes. Reflexes Nikolai had once possessed but had not managed to regain fully in his recovery, constant reminders of a time he desperately sought to forget. Still the spark of flame was reignited and passion lingered in every muscle of his body as he shot off with all the strained effort his body would allow. Hans natural athlete prowess did not escape the older boys notice as he watched the nimble, evasive techniques display themselves masterfully from his position. Nikolai giggled giddily to himself with reminders of a time when his eyes would view such talent with his heart, an infatuation he supposed that had faded with time. Another thing he had lost but the brotherhood they had gained was otherworldly.

Without a shred of doubt Hans had let him win and so as Nikolai hit the shoreline but centimetres before his brother he found himself not boastful but instead reached out his hand. If Hans accepted he would grip to the elbow and say with genuine pride beaming from every gentle flicker of his features, "Your training has clearly been paying off, you killed that. I pity whoever is coming up against you this summer. I pity myself more for having to be spoon-fed a victory but I appreciate it all the same. Thanks bro." No quicker than pride had left his tone did his devilish smirk overtake and with his tactical position Nikolai began to wrestle with Hans attempting to throw him into the water. Failing miserably given his form, that had already been leaner than Hans before October, had only fallen further behind with recovery he found himself instead thrown to the water.

Submerged in the cold for a second Nikolai felt the cooling relief of peace as his head dipped beneath the wave. There's a moment when water fills your ears and everything goes so muddily quiet, like everything just stops for a moment and your body fades away replaced with the water. A moment where you become part of something bigger than you and everything that came before is but a fragment of a dream. Then you re-emerge and it all comes rushing back in, but instead of pain or memory, his laugh was the only sound Nikolai heard. That rich boyish laugh that cradled his heart in comfort. Until the sound of his own laugh filled the space between, still unfamiliar but like meeting an old friend he recognised its familiarity.

Looking up with the softest glow his eyes had mustered in months he spat out the remaining lake water and pushing off deeper into the waters said with a rushed pace, "Quick, we need to make it before the sun fully rises or we'll miss it!" With that he set off barrelling through the waves like he belonged their, his muscles relaxing under the release of pressure the water took off.

Interacting with @Hans Jenssen

banner by Oonagh Brown || interacting as Hans Jenssen

Hans slowed as the shore came within reach, giving Nikolai the easy victory as he allowed the boy to hit the ending seconds before he did. As Nikolai gripped his elbow he smiled at his words, pride evident in his features. “You weren’t so bad yourself,” Hans returned, patting Nikolai good-naturedly on the back before allowing a smug smirk to overtake his lips, “For you at least.” Yet the sentiment was genuine. Even if his prowess had declined after October his recovery was one with a blinding light ahead, and Nikolai was en route— Sudden hands on his body broke Hans’ train of thought. Slimy little snake; of course it was all praise before Nikolai came for him.

Foolish boy. Tripping over his own pride today, wasn’t he? Matching that rascal’s grin he knew like a second skin Hans allowed Nikolai to pounce upon him and try to wrestle him into the lake in an utterly pathetic manner. He laughed, moving little in defence, before pushing the boy backwards and off the ledge that had kept him steady. “Take that!” He yelled down, although positive Nikolai couldn’t have heard him through the gushes of water.

He jumped in himself after Nikolai made a resounding splash, nothing of the refined starting position but a wild cannonball as he dove in, with a spray of water around him that would have made his coach question what he had taught all those years. The familiar embrace of water rushed in, caressing every inch of his body as he slowly opened his ears to see a murky blue. It was peaceful, without even the howl of the wind or the whistle of brooms shooting through the sky. It was peaceful, and the water was all there was. Everything stopped in that second, the world fading to nothingness above him. Yet he had never felt so alive as his body seemed to move with the undercurrents, the waves invigorating him as he pushed for air.

As Hans surfaced, shaking his head and the water out of his hair, all he could have done was laugh. Bathed in the bluish glow of the sky at dawn, basking in the growing warmth of the boy at his side, and wondrously refreshed in the biting coolness of the waters at March, he could have imagined no better start to the day he turned thirteen. As a second sound joined into his own, forming a harmony he could never have forgotten even if on days it petered out and ceased to exist, they shared the joyous moment, a melody more beautiful than anything he could have strummed on a guitar or the newly awoken birds above could have chirped out.

“Quick, we need to make it before the sun fully rises or we'll miss it!”

Cocking his head, curious to what Nikolai was referring to, Hans didn’t waste any time asking as his guide pushed off, barrelling forward on the sheer fuel of excitement. Pushing his arms into a front crawl he followed, the water rushing past his body as he found his rhythm, submerging himself in its depths. Every fluid motion seemed to embrace him in its cool slipperiness as he rushed forward, the water a familiar friend he had lost contact with in the months the lakes had froze but would forever welcome him come the day he came knocking on its door again. Lips spreading into a smile he subconsciously took in water and kicking himself into a backstroke as he spat it out he asked the hurried Nikolai, “Where are we going again?”

In all frankness he could have hardly cared, but admittedly he was curious for what Nikolai was so eager to show him. After all, he was framing it as a grand occasion, and kept the secret of the location for all this time till his birthday.