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Emma was numb. Though numb was preferable to the grief, guilt and anger she had been feeling lately. She sat on her bed in her knee length black dress, her hands clutched tightly together as she just stared ahead. Her grandfather's funeral had ended several hours ago, and she had been downstairs to help with the reception but she had hit a point where she knew she just....couldn't anymore. People while well-meaning were just overwhelming her. It had gotten to the point where wherever she went in the house, she'd be searching out exits. And meanwhile the thoughts of if she had showed up earlier, if she knew more healing magic, if she had her wand....maybe she could have done something. Her parents had reassured her there was nothing she could have done but that didn't make sense. Wasn't magic this great thing? Wasn't it supposed to perform things that the muggle world thought impossible? In her brain, she could have done something, and should have.

Getting up almost robotically, she pulled the dress over her head, throwing it as far as she could from herself. Moving to the closet, she grabbed shorts, and a t-shirt, trying to put the shorts on, only to realize she hadn't removed her shoes. Taking them off, she threw them in the general direction of the dress, the one she didn't know if she'd be able to wear anymore. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes as she pulled the shorts on, then shoved her head roughly through the proper hole, her arms almost exploding from the top. Grabbing her sneakers, she threw them down, shoving her feet in and pulling tightly at the laces as she tied them. She hurriedly rubbed her eyes, doing her best to remove the tears that were starting to fall.

Taking a breath, the thoughts returned. You're a witch, why didn't you know? Why didn't you have your wand? Why didn't you try something? Maybe your magic would have read the intent! Not able to take the thoughts anymore, she just ran out of her room, her feet pounding down the stairs and out the door. She heard cries behind her but Emma didn't care. She just ran, trying to outrun the thoughts that wouldn't stop. She ran out of breath at a local park, and the shouts of happy children bothered her, making her want to scratch at her ears. Looking around, she moved towards a quiet spot and just crumbled when she got there. Resting her head on her arms, she closed her eyes, the tears pouring out as she just tried not to think. The real world would intrude before too long and her parents would be worried but at that point she just didn't care.

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