Closed A Thousand Kilometers Solo

December 18th, 2024	Owlery
“English”	“Gaelic”

Dearie,

Oh no. Alyss knew her mother very well. And she only ever called her daughter by a pet name such as dearie when there was bad news. After a slight pause to take a deep breath, she continued reading.

I hope you’re doing just as well as the last letter, and you’re still getting good marks.

This was still like a typical letter, no other odd signs yet. Alyss felt her fingers tighten around the parchment as her eyes continued to scan the page, awaiting whatever devastating news that would cause her to trail her eyes to the floor..

I know how much you enjoy our annual Christmas traditions. Unfortunately this year is going to be slightly different. Your father and I have talked it over, and we cannot make the trip to London to get you for the holidays. We can most definitely make it at the end of your first year to take you home, but it seems that our finances are once again tight this year.

There it was. It was what Alyss had been dreading, what she had tried to hide. Her parents loved her and cared so much, but she should have expected this. It was common over the holidays for Alyss to receive a few gifts overall, many of which from the local pawn shop. Oftentimes she had been hesitant to mention it to her friends, many of whom purebloods, no doubt having never experienced a harsh enough winter that any food they had were like rations from wars, nor food that made them sick simply because they couldn’t always buy the good food that tasted good, but instead the food that got them through the harsh winters from Stornoway.

Alyss had never been quiet enough to keep secrets, however, so at least one of her friends knew. Her name was Evpraksiya, and she was always polite when it came to her money struggles, but Alyss always had the pang in her heart that she was certain Eve didn’t quite understand. She was always sure that it was pity that she felt, something she despised. Alyss hated pity. She didn’t like the look of sadness as the understanding overwhelms their heart, making them look at her like she was their little doll, waiting for her hair to be braided or dress to be changed. She could figure things out for herself, with or without the money that seemed to open doors for them.

Eve was always polite, never rude about it, though Alyss always felt as if she owed her when the girl bought her something or gifted her with anything that was clearly out of Alyss’s price range. It shouldn’t have been surprising that Eve seemed to regard any gifts as something simple, but Alyss grew up in a household in which they worked hard and paid off their debts. She hadn’t mentioned anything about her paying the Slytherin back, but she would. No matter the cost.

Tearing herself from the pool of self-pity that Alyss seemed to be sinking into, she read the last couple lines that remained in the letter before her.

We have figured out how to send you your gifts over mail, so open them with smiles and think of us.

With love always,

Mum

Alyss felt something bubbling up in her chest as she read the final line, chest shaking as she breathed. That was all that was in the letter. The words began to swim on the page in front of her, tears beginning to slip from her eyes. The plip. plip. of her salty sadness hit the page one after another, darkening the parchment. But it’s not as if the letter mattered anymore. The thought consumed Alyss, her fingers loosening as the page fell between her fingers onto the stones below.

The cold went unnoticed to her, the wind gusting into the Owlery at a blistering speed. Her body began to shake, arms slowly falling back to her body. Her teeth clenched together as if to brace from the cold, and Alyss watched as her letter was picked up by the wind and seemingly dropped soon after, as the wind went roaring out. Her eyes had not paused, and seemed determined to make Alyss appear weak. Swiftly swiping her tears away using the back of her hand, Alyss glanced down at the letter once more, before reaching down and grabbing it, pulling a stray feather from the parchment.

She read the correspondence one final time, ensuring that everything she had just read was in fact correct. Sometimes her brain likes to trick her, especially when she was being emotional again. Although it wasn’t a common occurrence for her tear ducts to make such an appearance, it did happen enough that she was aware that once they started, they wouldn’t stop anytime soon.

Alyss gazed at the creases that the letter developed as she clutched it with enough force to nearly tear it, a sullen expression making its way upon her face. There was no optimism that usually inhabited her face, but instead was replaced by the words that were living in her mind, over and over. Cannot make the trip. Cannot make the trip. It was no secret to her why she got the cheap gifts, why she got fewer than many of her peers. They just simply could not afford it.

As the sniffles subsided, Alyss wiped her nose a couple times, teary eyes pointed at the floor, fighting off the thoughts that just kept coming. Every year, she had woken up and made her way to the pile of presents by their small spruce, usually making enough noise to awaken both of her parents from their slumber. Then the three would hug in their pajamas, with the previously fuzzy clothes having been worn and loved enough to be more strips of cloth than fuzz. But this year, there would be none of that. No attempted but failed sneaking to the gifts, no giggling as she was raised into a bear hug, no loving eyes from her mother as she watched her daughter open the presents with a bright smile on her face.

Alyss wasn’t sure if she could last without the love that her parents both radiated, with or without their gifts. How was she supposed to be okay when her support system were a thousand kilometers away?