⛾ TEATIME ⛾
❋TEATIME: the podcast in which Cecamidea tackles the world...and drinks a lot of tea. Don't miss out on hearing the tea being steeped, slurped, and spilled. Tune in to each tea inspired episode with @Amadea Campbell, @Ami Procoppio, and @Cecily Quinn!❋TEATIME FAQs
Why are you posting it here?
We considered posting it on the discord, but we realize that not everyone has access to the discord and want to give everyone the chance to listen to it if they want to!
Why is it called Teatime?
We came up with the name because of the phrase 'spill the tea' and the whole idea of people sipping their tea while spilling the gossip. In addition, we have themes of each episode that are based off of tea (i.e. sexuali-TEA)
Is it IC or OOC?
It is OOC; while we could do IC episodes in the future (if you want!) this podcast is completely OOC, though we use our character names to refer to each other as we don't want to spread personal information.
Can I be a guest/how can my threads be shouted out?
You most certainly can be a guest! Just DM or owl any one of us and we can discuss details. You can also certainly have your threads/art commissions or anything in between shouted out. Just DM or owl us what you want to be shouted out and we will happily do so!
How often will you be posting episodes?
We have a lot of ideas in store, but we don't have a specific posting schedule for episodes. Between scheduling times to record with our busy schedules and then counting in time to edit episodes as well, we don't want to lock ourselves into dead-set schedule and have the extra stress. However, we will definitely try to do AT LEAST one per month.❋
Last edited by Amadea Campbell on 3 Jul 2023, 22:32, edited 2 times in total.
⛾ TEATIME ⛾
episode 1: sexuali-TEA
click here for post37:27 episode 2: icebreakers & iced TEA
click here for post1:23.03 episode 3: a christmas par-TEA
click here for post8:16 episode 4: adam harringtom traumatized my parents
click here for post34:26 minisode 1: pot-TEA-more (amadea's edition)
click here for post23:18 minisode 2: pot-TEA-more (ami's edition)
click here for post22:54 minisode 3: pot-TEA-more (cecily's edition)
click here for post17:50
Last edited by Amadea Campbell on 17 Jul 2023, 04:52, edited 10 times in total.
⛾ TEATIME ⛾
episode oneHello all and welcome to our first ever podcast episode! Please bear with us as we navigate the art of recording and creating podcasts; none of us have done anything like this before so if you have any tips or tricks or suggestions please feel free to send them our way!
In the first installment of Teatime, Amadea, Cecily, and Ami delve into the topic of sexuality and the LGBTQIAP+ community. Talking about topics from coming out stories, gaydar, drag, gay icons and anthems, to even picking out each other's aesthetics, the podcast is full of pride (disclaimer this was supposed to come out during pride month but due to technical difficulties, it had to be postponed...but, pride all year long so technically we're still on time!) Don't forget about the ending message and the assignment for you: send a letter to someone you appreciate and tell them how much you appreciate them. This life is short and we should make sure to express our gratitude as much as possible. Stay slurping; we love you!
- Lizzie Verdine's art
- Read the Hogwarts Headliner!
- More specifically...Ami's Bonus Issue!
- Scott + Ami's argument
- Messy Little Menace
- Join the Gobstones Club!
- Join the LGBTQIAP+ Club!
- Be nice to staff or we'll fight you
- @Lizzie Verdine for the art!
- @Adam Harringtom for the intro!
transcript:
Reducio[intro music plays]
Adam: Get ready… because it’s time to steep, slurp, and spill! Welcome to Teatime with Cecily, Amadea, and Ami.
[intro music keeps playing]
Ami: Alright, so, since this is our first episode, let’s do introductions real quick? Amadea, who are you? What’s your name?
Amadea: Hi, I’m Amadea! I’m a fourth year Hufflepuff!
[intense giggling]
Ami: Uh, we should clarify, this is out of character.
Amadea: Oh yeah, this is out of character, but in character, Amadea is a fourth year Hufflepuff.
Ami: Um, what are your pronouns and sexuality, if you’re comfortable sharing?
Amadea: Right, so, I use she/her pronouns, and I am bisexuaaaal.
Ami: Ooh! Uh… you’re not bi-sexual, you by yo’sel— I’m sorry— okay—
[more giggling]
Ami: Wh—
[uncontrollable giggling]
Ami: What is your out of character Hogwarts house?
Amadea: Oh, okay. So, before H.io, it was Ravenclaw. And then I lost my Pottermore password, so I retook it like a month ago, and I got Hufflepuff. So I think Amadea’s rubbing off on me.
Ami: Join the club. And final get-to-know-you introduction question, what is your favorite song from the Hamilton soundtrack?
Amadea: How do I choose just one? [intense distress sounds]
Ami: Choose the song that’s been stuck in your head lately.
Amadea: Well, I mean, I’ll just go with the one I learned first, back in like 2015 when I was a small girl, which is Guns and Ships.
Ami: That’s acceptable. Alright, blondie! Blondie, what’s your name?
Cecily: My name is Cecily, hello.
Ami: Alright, Miss Cecily Quinn, what are your pronouns and sexuality?
Cecily: I use she/her pronouns, and I am pansexual.
Ami: Ooh… pants. What is your out of character Hogwarts house?
Cecily: I am a Ravenclaw, out of character.
Ami: Ah, Cecily out of character versus Cecily in character, there’s like no difference.
Amadea: ‘Kay, Cecily in character is just like, slightly more depressed than Cecily out of character.
[intense wheezing]
Cecily: She’s just slightly more annoyed at the world.
Ami: And, Miss Cecily, what is your favorite Hamilton song?
Cecily: Uh… I like We Know. Because the wordplay in that song just— [chef’s kiss]— is so good—
Amadea: Makes sense.
Cecily: —'cos I’m a nerd, and I appreciate wordplay. Alright, now, Amiiiiiii…
Ami: It’s mwa. T— c’est moi. No, I don’t speak French. Okay. [in a silly voice] My name is Ami— [in a normal voice] no, I should not talk like that. I’m—
Amadea: [with a terrible Valley Girl accent] I’m Ami…
Ami: —Ami— [laughing] Valley Girl it? No. No. Absolutely not.
Amadea: What are your pronouns and sexuality?
Ami: I use she/her/hers, they/their/them is— oh, they.. them... theirs is also okay, just… not it, please. Someone called me an it once and I was like “no, thank you”.
[incredulous laughter]
Ami: Yeah, I was a little offended. I am… extremely gay. As you— you— people who are listening to this can’t tell but I’m like suuuuper gay. If you ever talked to me on Discord—
Cecily: That’s her personality, is just—
Amadea: Yeah.
Cecily: —is just—
Ami: —it’s my singular personality trait.
[collective “yeah”]
Ami: My Hogwarts house… actually, I don’t know. I say Hufflepuff, ‘cos I have Hufflepuff sweatpants, and that’s ‘cos my dad took a guess. But I’m gonna say Hufflepuff, I think…
Amadea: And then your favorite Hamilton song…
Ami: [intense sigh] Both of the cabinet battles? Because I’m really into rap? So I’ll say the first one… ‘cos it’s the one I know better… yeah.
Amadea: The mic drops.
Ami: Oh yeah, oh boy. Let’s talk about the episode! The episode… we’re doing sexuali-tea because it’s tea time...
Amadea: Tea time!
Ami: … and we’re fancy.
Cecily: And we make tea puns on this show!
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: Oh yeah.
Amadea: Many, many tea puns—
Ami: It’s just Amadea, it’s just Amadea making tea puns—
Amadea: [laughing] No…
[strange laughing noises]
Ami: Because we were supposed to do this in June, we decided our first episode would be sexuality.
Amadea: Okay—
Ami: —and then…
Amadea: So we did film it— or, record this already, but then like, the audio was kinda messed up, and it just wasn’t a very good podcast—
[laughing]
Cecily: It was so bad.
Amadea: So we decided to redo it.
Cecily: I mean, yeah.
Amadea: And that’s why it’s now July and we’re doing this still.
Cecily: I mean maybe you don’t wanna listen to this one either, but you definitely would not have wanted to listen to that one.
Ami: Oh man, oh jeez… the first one was not hot.
Amadea: It’s okay.
Cecily: It was not where it was at.
Ami: So, sexuali-tea... um, June is Pride Month, for those of you who somehow don’t know… Um, how was your Pride Month… guys? How did- how was it?
Cecily: My Pride Month was… a good time. I was out there… I— [remembers COVID-19] I wasn’t out there.
[laughter]
Cecily: I was uh— I stayed at home.
Amadea: Yeah, all the pride parades were canceled—
Ami: Yeah…
Amadea: —so there wasn’t really much to do. I ordered a pride flag to my friend’s house and it took a month to get to her house… and now it’s at her house and I just have to pick it up from her.
Ami: Oh, we should probably clarify, Amadea’s trying to redecorate her bedroom, and—
[laughter]
Amadea: Oh, is it time for this story, then?
Ami: Yeaaaaaah.
Cecily: The almost accidental—
Amadea: Wow, when I accidentally almost came out to my parents? So, I wanted to redo my room because it’s just like, kinda boring right now. And I have this wall that’s like really giant and there’s the lights at the top of it, but then there’s just a bunch of open space. So, my dad came into my room and I was telling him how I wanted to redecorate it, and he was like, “Oh, that would be, like, a good place to put something, like a flag or something!” and I was like “Oh, yeah! I could put like, a Save the Earth flag or like, a Pride flag!” And he was like “A Pride Flag? Are you gay?”
[laughter]
Ami: Dead silence…
Amadea: And I just completely ignored the question and just went on about everything else I wanted to put in my room. I’m not out to my parents, so now that clears that up, too.
Ami: So out of the three of us, I’m probably like, the most out of the closet. Like, I got kicked out of the closet but I mean, I’m still walking out, right?
Cecily: True!
Amadea: Yo- you found your balance after getting kicked.
Ami: Um, Cecily’s got like… her head stuck out of the closet. She’s like-
Cecily: I’m like… not— I’m not in the closet, but I’m not out of the closet, because I don’t like specifically tell—
Amadea: She’s like standing next to the closet.
Ami: She’s sitting on the handle.
Cecily: I just sort of like… let them find out. Like, I don’t keep it a secret, I’m just not going around like, “Hey guys, I’m gay!” But I mean, like—
Ami: What a fun time. What a fun time that would be. Just like, walk up to someone and be like, “Hi, I’m Cecily and I’m gay.”
[explosive laughter]
Cecily: Just walk up to somebody and—
Amadea: No, just don’t even say “I’m Cecily”... “Hi, I’m gay.”
Ami: My name is gay... no, we do not do that. [laughter] That would be so— [pause] I should start doing that.
[laughter]
Cecily: I mean, no one would even question it.
Ami: Do you have any funky coming out stories, Cecily?
Cecily: I really don’t. Like I— I have officially come out once, and it wasn’t even that exciting.
Ami: Oh.. did it go well, though?
Amadea: Didn’t your brother say something to you one time that was really funny?
Cecily: What?
Amadea: About you being gay?
Cecily: OH. Oh, yeah! There was one time where I was on a road trip with my family, and we were all just talking, and y’know, my family gets into wild conversations, so I don’t even really remember what was going on, but suddenly my brother just says something about like, me being gay. And I don’t think he even knew I was gay, he just said it because he’s kind of an awful person—
[chuckles]
Cecily: —and then I just responded to him, I was like, “Yeah, you know what, I am gay.” And… that was that. And no one paid any attention. I think they just all ignored me—
[laughter]
Ami: Aw… that’s sad
Cecily: —because… that was it. We just moved on, talked about something else.
Ami: Wow. So. As the— I don’t have hair to flip anymore, but— [laughter] as the most… as the most out of the three of us, for people who want to come out, it is hard. I’m not gonna even try and be like, “Oh, it’s so relieving and it’s like freeing!” and like… sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s just not the case.. and I just wanna say that like… just because a lot of people in the site community are out, and are comfortable with themselves, doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily in a safe place to do it, emotionally and maybe even like, in your environment. So just be careful when you’re coming out. Uh, if someone outs you, send me a name and addy and what type of coffin they want—
[awkward laughter]
Ami: —because I’ll throw some hands.
Cecily: Ami will fight them for you.
Amadea: Ami is about to box.
Ami: I will! I will… This is gonna be a repeat of last time we tried to record this, apparently, ‘cos apparently, it’s just me and Cecily saying we’re gonna fight people? Not a good message to send… Gaydar! On the whole. Do you believe in it?
Cecily: I mean, like... I think so. I like to think I have an okay gaydar.
Amadea: Here’s the thing. When my friend group formed, with Cecily—Cecily can vouch for me on this—we were all like small little children, y’know? Just living our best lives.
Cecily: We were in like, fifth grade.
Amadea: We— what?
Cecily: We were in like, fifth grade.
Amadea: Okay, but like, we were still tiny children—
[Ami laughing]
Amadea: —I mean, like, we didn’t know what being gay was at that point? And now we’re all in high school, and there’s only one of our friends that is straight.
Cecily: Out of like, the 7 of us.
Ami: Oh my god…
Amadea: So like… I feel like we just radiate the vibes, y’know? Like—
Ami: Yeah…
Amadea: —somehow we all found each other.
Cecily: You know the saying the vibe attracts your tribe? That was us!
Ami: Aw…
Cecily: It was the gays!
[Ami continuing to aw very annoyingly]
Amadea: Except it was- yeah! It was all the rainbow vibes that brought us together.
Ami: Cecily… never say that again.
Cecily: Oh no, I hated saying that. I just had to make the point.
Ami: I think it’s real? I just have a really crap one… like— [unintelligible noises] mine does not exist. Not. On. The map. Like, other people have pretty good gaydars, I do— I do believe that it’s real, I just have a crap one. It’s not— not good vibes.
Cecily: I think your gaydar is overshadowed by your own gayness.
Ami: Right.. It’s like a compass next to a magnet…
[laughter and collective “yeah”s]
Ami: Oh! Speaking of the LGBT— there’s too many letters, I got this, okay? I’m not illiterate, I swear. L… G… BTQ… IAP. And then someone told me to add D for demisexual, and I was like, okay, but that’s 9 letters and that’s literally longer than my name. So… we’re gonna cut it off at P and we’re just gonna add plus. A plus sign. Uhm… oh! I remember where I was going with this! I had a whole thing on this. So—
[laughter]
Ami: See, big brain time. So someone told me to add D for demisexual and I was like “huh”, what about D for drag? Because… as the fabu— fabulous, in air quotes, because Ami’s just dumb, but as Ami, who does drag, I was like “what about D for drag?” And they’re like, what? Drag’s not a part of the LGBTQIAPD+ community! [laughter] Like…
Cecily: Nailed it.
Ami: How— how daft can you— So, drag. Drag is a passion of mine, in character mostly. I sometimes, out of character— ‘cos I do kind of look like a guy. I think Cecily and Amadea can vouch, uh… I have asked if— I’ve been asked if I was a gay boy, several times, and I’m like… [sharp inhale] you’re wrong on one count. So… drag. This is like, my— I keep saying “drag” and then totally going on a different topic, I’m so good at talking… about stuff.
Amadea: Yup.
Ami: Drag is cross-dressing, basically, in like the simplest terms, where someone who is male or female dresses as another gender. If you’re non-binary, go ahead. I— pick one. It doesn’t matter. And, so, um.. They don’t- these people might experience gender dysphoria and they might use it as a coping mechanism. Personally, as someone who’s done drag like, two or three times in their life—I don’t have any pictures, I wish I did—but, I don’t have gender dysphoria. I’m comfortable with my gender and that’s just.. how the vibes be flowin’... I should stop talking, jeez.
Amadea: How the vibes be flowin’...
Ami: Drag is part of the LGBT— whew. Try again. LGBTQIAP+ community. That shouldn’t even be a discussion. That’s like, where pride even comes from in the first place, right? Because that’s from like, black trans women, or people who do drag, and it’s just like, how… freaking… can— can I say dumb? Am I allowed to say dumb on this podcast?
Cecily: Yes.
Amadea: Yeah…?
Cecily: Yes, it is acceptable.
Ami: How DUMB do you have to be, to be like, [in a mocking tone] oh, drag’s not part of the community… oh my god.... That’s just like gross....
Cecily: The whole point of the LGBT+— I am not even bothering trying to—
[laughter]
Amadea: L+.
Cecily: The whole point of the community is acceptance and being able to show your pride in different ways.
Ami: Right, exactly.
Cecily: And drag is one of those ways that people show their pride.
Ami: Mhm, exactly. So—
Amadea: Would you like to speak on Mr. Chad Preoccupied?
Ami: [delighted gasp] Okay. Let me try and like, quote what I wrote in my old, like, Pride errand request thing, but basically, hey! Who is Chad? Who is this Chad you speak of? Because your PC is Ami, your Durm NPC is Maksim, who da heck is Chad? Why do you have a third character? Chad is Ami. Chad is literally just Ami except she draws on a fake mustache and puts her hair in a fedora. So… drag kings and queens—‘cos generally it’s like either masculine or hyper-feminine—they dress in… what people perceive to be as— first— first of all, let me say, gender is government propaganda. Screw gender.
Cecily: Gender is a social construct.
Ami: Um… exactly.
Cecily: I took AP Psych this year, I can vouch.
[laughter]
Ami: So, yeah. Chad is Ami’s drag persona, because when people do drag regularly, sometimes they create personas, because when they dress differently, they feel differently, their confidence might go up, they act differ— Ami’s confidence cannot go any higher. Ami’s confidence is like, sky-high.
Cecily: Ami has a massive ego already.
Ami: Ooh… I created a narcissist and I don’t like it anymore. But it’ll be fine. And— so when you do drag, and then you do it regularly, you create a drag persona, and sometimes they named them. Ami’s drag persona is named Chad, because she’s a frat boy at heart. Sh— He is Ami, and Ami is he, and they are one entity, but she will go by he/him/his—yes, those are the words—he/him/his when she is in drag. And she will be very offended if you call her she/her/hers. So, I don’t see a lot other people on the site—maybe it’s just ‘cos they’re teenagers, but to be fair, I’m also—[clears throat] I sound like I smoke. I swear I don’t, I just... am tired. So… I should— I’m rambling. Holy crap, okay. Basically, as someone who’s kind of close in age with the— like, with the actual people on site, I feel like more people should just… try drag. Maybe it’s just a one time thing, like there’s a thread where Ami just puts Scott in drag, and he’s like, “This was fun! But I’m not sure I’d wanna go through all this effort.” ‘Cos like, putting on a full face of makeup is kind of a lot of work, as someone who does it almost every day… Opinions! Would— do you think you would ever do drag? Ever?
Cecily: I would— I mean, I would try it, like once.
Amadea: Yeah, same.
Cecily: Nothing to lose.
Ami: Right.
Cecily: I already don’t have a reputation.
[laughter]
Ami: You might just be hot as a guy, right?
Cecily: I mean…
Ami: Ami is so hot as a girl… so hot as a guy.
[laughter]
Ami: Just saying!
Cecily: I mean, you’re not wrong.
Ami: See? Validation. Validation.
[laughter]
Amadea: As if Ami needs any more of that...
[embarrassed shushing from Ami]
Ami: She’ll get knocked down a couple of pegs, just wait like, another year and a half. I think at the end of the day, with all of my rambling that really makes absolutely no— I think, just, people should remember that there are different dimensions to the queer community other than just sexuality and gender, there’s also gender expression. Which I think people can forget, a lot. ‘Cos like, it’s like, oh! You’ve got your butch lesbian and you’ve got your fem lesbians, and agh.
Cecily: Okay, moving on…
Ami: So let’s— we should talk about our gender expression. ‘Cos I’d like to take a guess, because I actually don’t see what you guys wear a loft. A loft. Often.
Amadea: Okay.
Ami: Okay. So… I’m gonna guess Amadea’s first, ‘cos right now her face is on my screen.
Amadea: Alright.
Ami: I’m gonna say, you dress andro but lean fem, and... even more fem when you go to nice events, judging from your Instagram page…
[laughter]
Ami: And.. and…[gasp] Do you wanna try and guess aesthetics, too?
Amadea: I don’t have one.
Ami: Oh, well… okay, I’m— I’m assigning you an aesthetic, and it’s Save the Earth. Because that’s kind of your vibe.
Amadea: I mean, true.
Cecily: That is her vibe, you’re right.
Amadea: My shirt has the earth on it right now!
Ami: Save the Earth theater kid! And Cecily, I think you also dress andro, but you lean less feminine? This is just purely judging from your Instagram.
Amadea: Which—
Cecily: What— I have absolutely nothing on—
Amadea: She doesn’t have anything on her Instagram!
Cecily: I have literally not posted a single picture on Instagram.
Ami: I’m judging from your tagged. ‘Cos Amadea does lean fem… pretty hard. Ooh, that’s a bad choice of words. Pretty heavily.
Amadea: Pretty h—
Ami: No, shh! This is PG-13.
[laughter]
Ami: But Cecily, I think you dress more andro more consistently, but it is still a solid like, eh, andro-femme. Cecily does have more of an aesthetic, and it is— aah, this is gonna sound so mean, okay— I used to have this friend, she always wore crystal necklaces and like chokers and stuff, and like lots of silver rings. She looked like a witch. You have witch aesthetic vibes.
Cecily: I have one silver ring and it’s broken.
[laughs]
Ami: And you’re wearing two necklaces.
Cecily: That’s true.
Amadea: I have two silver rings, but no necklaces.
Ami: I’m not wearing anything right now. I’m dressed like one of those, like, scary white boys who have hoodies on and like diamond studs. Like, y’know, those people?
Amadea: A Chad?
Cecily: This is, like, my aesthetic. [shows off wrist with a watch and hair ties]. Like, it’s not even the silver necklaces.
[laughs]
Ami: Yeah, but it’s like, you give me like, the...wood...woodwitch...nah that sounds weird.
[laughter]
Ami: Umm...cab— witch in the wood vibes. Witch in the forest— forest witch vibes! Forrest Gump!
[intense laughter]
Ami: [laughing] This derailed.
Amadea: Nymph vibes.
Cecily: Nymph vibes?
Ami: Nymph vibes? Yeah.
Amadea: Aren’t...they like...trees?
[laughter]
Cecily: Yes, they are.
Ami: So Cecily, since you know Amadea better than I do, would you agree with my analysis of her clothing options?
Cecily: Uh... I agree that Save the Earth is indeed her aesthetic. [laughs]
Amadea: What’s wrong with that?!
[laughter]
Ami: We didn’t say it was-- there’s nothing wrong with it!
Cecily: I mean you do kinda have the VSCO girl aesthetic.
Ami: [incredulous gasp]
Cecily: Not gonna lie.
Ami: Oh, her face!
[intense giggling]
Amadea: I don’t own a Hydroflask! I don’t—
Cecily: I thought— you definitely do own a Hydroflask—
Amadea: No! I own an off-brand Hydroflask that I got from Amazon... it’s called a SIM...
[giggles]
Amadea: I love my SIM, it’s amazing, and it’s most definitely not a Hydroflask. What else is a VSCO girl? They have, like, those shell necklaces... do you see anything on my neck?
Cecily: Oka— I said you were sort of a VSCO girl.
Amadea: I own Birkenstocks.
Cecily: Yes. Yes you do.
Amadea: What else is a VSCO girl...
Ami: quietly Oh jeez...
Amadea: I never, in my life, say “sk sk sk sk.”
Ami: Oh, God...
Cecily: Except for just now.
Ami: Scrunchies! Scrunchies.
Amadea: Okay, I do own some scrunchies, but I don’t wear them... I wear them sometimes, when I need to dry my hair, and I’ll put it in a bun and put the scrunchie in it, because the scrunchie absorbs all the water really quick... life hacks!
[laughter]
Amadea: And that’s like the only time I use scrunchies.
Cecily: You... have a metal straw.
Amadea: I do, but I also haven’t used it in like a year because [laughing] there’s... milkshake... stuck inside of it.
Ami: [sounds of disgust] Amadeaaaaaa...
Cecily: Use a pipe cleaner!
Ami: Okay, Dea, since you also know Cecily way better than I do, would you agree with my analysis?
Amadea: I agree... except she’s not a witch!
[intense giggling]
Ami: That was a bad way to put it. Like, she gives me like the, like the, like, she wears jewelry, but it’s not like the... like the... rich boy Rolex and then like, the... over the—
Amadea: It’s like—
Ami: Y— like the...
Amadea: Hipster vibes.
Ami: Yeahhhh, she’s a hipster.
Cecily: I do not have hipster vibes! I disagree.
Amadea: Well, I— both me and Ami agree, so... you... are denied, ‘cos this is a democracy.
Cecily: Wh— I— [sighs] Fine. Y’know what, fine. Hipster vibes. I guess. Is what I have.
Ami: Hipster vibes are cooool!
Cecily: Okay, yeah, exactly! That’s why I don’t have them!
[intense wheezing]
Ami: O... okay...
Ami: So, apparently— so I was trying to look up lesbian icons because I was trying to find a different username for myself because apparen— I was trying to sign up for a website, and I was like, okay, who’s a famous lesbian, I was like, Sappho, and it was like TAKEN, and I’m like, Callisto, TAKEN, I’m like, Persephone, TAKEN, and I’m like...[deep breath] OKAY. And then apparently there’s like these things... called... I can’t say it. I ca— okay. Basically, do you have a gay icon?
Amadea: Well...let me list them out for you.
Ami: Ohhh, she has a list.
Amadea: Well, there’s obviously Ben Platt, who’s just my king, he’s—
Cecily: Ben Platt is a gay icon, for sure.
Amadea: He’s just, a king. That’s it. Taylor Trensch and Ben Ross... together... are just like...
Cecily: Power couple.
Ami: [laughs] I agree I agree.
Amadea. Brain. Exploded.
Ami: I agree.
Amadea: Um, Ellen Page... is... a queen.
Ami: Mhm.
Amadea: I can’t wait for Umbrella Academy season two.
Ami: I didn’t like Aiden Gallagher though.
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: That was sooo— he’s annoying.
Amadea: He’s just a little weird.
Ami: He’s anno— have you seen his Twitter?
Amadea: No.
Ami: Lord, Looord. He has— okay. Long story short, he has a God complex because he’s vegan.
Amadea: Oohhh.
Ami: Ellen DeGeneres.
Amadea: Ellen. Ellen and Portia are just like... I love them.
Cecily: Kristen Bell is an icon. Eleanor Shellstrop from The Good Place... she’s gay.
Ami: [gasps]
Cecily: You can’t convince me otherwise.
Ami: Her track record says otherwise.
Cecily: Okay, she’s bi.
Ami: Fine. I ca— I can deal with bi. She definitely is bi. She’s definitely not straight.
Cecily: Yeah, exactly!
Amadea: Yeah. Except then she ends up with Chidi, so...
Ami: Hey! It’s— no.
Cecily: Spoiler!
Ami: Don’t— don’t bash— don’t bash Eleanor and Chidi.
Amadea: Yeah, Eleanor and Chidi’s good.
Ami: Oh! Who is— okay. Just like, even just fashion icons? I wish, I wish I could dress like Amandla Stenberg or Ezra Miller.
Cecily: Oh my God.
[laughter]
Ami: If I could—
Amadea: I’m just not that into fashion, so like, I just wear what’s on... the top of my drawer. And that's about it.
Cecily: Imagine having a sense of fashion.
Ami: Imagine looking... like Ezra Miller.
Cecily: Imagine...
Amadea: Imagine.
Cecily: ...being able to pull off cute outfits. Can’t relate.
Ami: You could... you just wear t-shirts and shorts voluntarily.
Cecily: I wear flannels. I wear flannels and cuffed jeans.
Ami: Oh?
Amadea: Okay but you could, you just don’t put in the effort to.
Cecily: You’re not wrong.
Ami: Right. I agree.
Cecily: I also don’t own any... cute outfits.
Amadea: Okay but your mom would totally take you to buy them.
Cecily: Y— okay but that means I have to actually go... clothes shopping.
Amadea: Exactly! So you don’t wanna put in the effort.
Cecily: [laughing] Yeah!
Ami: I am someone who just dresses like your very average...s— male student athlete. I have no fashion sense. I could if I wanted to, but I also wake up five minutes before I have to leave the house, so I don’t care.
[laughter]
Ami: I think— no, legitimately, I do think Charlie Brown made me kinda gay, because... th— that’s not— that’s not—
[intense laughter]
Ami: DON’T— no, it was because of, it was because of Lucy. Like, I looked at Lucy, and I was like, you.. Are hot. By the way, I... my singular goal in life was to ha— to grow my hair out long enough where I could do an Ariana Grande ponytail without extensions... and then I cut my own hair off, so. That’s kinda dumb.
Cecily: I mean, my hair basically was that long. And then. I also cut it off. [laughs]
Amadea: I cut part of it! Wh-- Did the hairdresser say anything funny when you went there?
Cecily: [laughing] No, not really...
Amadea: Okay...
Cecily: Apparently a lot of people have been chopping their hair off though.
Amadea: I know, that’s what the people who cut my hair told me. Speaking of, the people who cut my hair are my neighbors, and they’re gay.
Ami: [excited pterodactyl noises]
Cecily: [laughs]
Ami: Oh my— oooohhh, I love that!
Amadea: They own like, a hairdressing and spa place, and it’s like allll natural products that they use.
Cecily: That’s fancy.
Ami: So, do you have— okay, this stems from when Celynne sang Born This Way by Lady Gaga. She came to me, as one does, ‘cos... gay, af, and she was like hey, what are some, like, pride songs? And I was like, She by dodie, and she goes, okay, can’t sing that, and I was like, okay, Kiss the Boy by Kinyayayayn Lonsdale— basically, Bram from Love, Simon— and she’s like, don’t know that song, and I was like, okay, and I was like... I was like, I was— struggling to think of like, gay anthems.
Amadea: [singing] I kissed a girl and I liked it...
Ami: Yeahhhh...yeah...okay, that’s true. That’s fair.
Cecily: Fun fact, I once played, uh, Born This Way in marching band.
Ami: Like, what are other, like, just, gay anthems? Like...we have to— okay. We have to create a 20-song playlist for Pride even though it’s July—
Amadea: Pretty much— just anything by girl in red.
Cecily: What does Google say?
Ami: They... they suggest really old songs. Like, really old songs.
Cecily: YMCA?
[laughter]
Ami: How is that a—?! Whaat? Is this something I just—
Cecily: Okay, wait— wait, okay, this is what Google says: they say— it’s Wikipedia, actually— YMCA, It’s Raining Men, I’m Coming Out, Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, and Dancing Queen are all classic gay anthems. [laughs]
Ami: Okay, Ain’t No Mountain High Enough is, like, theeee...song you play at a wedding? And...all the old people dance to it.
[laughter]
Cecily: Dude, I played Ain’t No Mountain High Enough in band though.
Amadea: Do you know the song Everyone is Gay?
[intense laughter]
Cecily: I love that that’s a song.
Amadea: By A Great Big World? Do you know that song?
Ami: Aww, no!
Amadea: Oh my God. I’m gonna play it right now, and it’s going to be—
Ami: We’re gonna get copyrighted—
Cecily: Not if we only play like a few seconds of it.
[“Everyone is Gay” by A Great Big World plays]
[intense laughter]
[more intense laughter]
[a heck ton of intense laughing]
Ami: Oh... my God. Amadea I love your dancing.
Cecily: Amadea is jammin’.
[laughter]
Amadea: Yeah, that’s pretty much the gist of the song.
[absolute wheezing]
Cecily: That... is...
Ami: Oh, that’s iconic.
Cecily: ...kind of iconic, yeah.
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: Soooo, okay, I have found—
Cecily: Okay, okay, that’s the gay anthem. That’s it.
Ami: Yeah, that— that’s it. That’s it
Amadea: That’s all you need.
Ami: So- solved the problem, uh, one-song playlist... just gonna play that, on repeat, 24/7 during June. [laughs]
Cecily: [laughing] Will it make me more gay?
[giggles]
Amadea: If you’ve made it to this point, I’m sorry you’ve had to listen to us talk for so long, it must be boring, but also if you’ve made it this far, DM us... “the grass looks nice when it is green.”
[intense laughter]
Ami: No, that can’t be— no, no no no no. That’s, that’s boring. That is...so, DM one of us— don’t DM all three of us, ‘cos I think that...would be too much work on your part—
Amadea: Yeah...
Ami: —for a podcast that...doesn’t really...make sense.
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: [intense gasp] Bert and Ernie are secretly dating.
Cecily: [laughing] Is that what they’re DMing us?
Ami: Yes, that is what they’re DMing us. [laughter]
Amadea: Alright. You heard it here. [laughing] If you made it this far, wow.
Cecily: If you don’t hate us yet, please DM.
Amadea: If you wanna hear more, because we have more episodes planned!
Cecily: Um, they’re not very good, so please tell us what you wanna hear, because, like—
Amadea: Yeah...
Cecily: Because we have bad ideas.
Amadea: Yeah, so just DM us if you have any ideas we should do. Um, shoutout to Lizzie... Ver— how do you say it? Verdeene? Verdyne? I think?
Ami: Verdeen-ay.
[laughter]
Ami: It’s definitely not that.
Amadea: Verdeen-AY. Um, for making our wonderful art cover thing.
Cecily: It’s gorgeous. It’s amazing.
Amadea: It’s beautiful.
Cecily: I love it so much.
Amadea: Go commission her, j— or just like go give her money. ‘Cos. Why not.
Cecily: But also commission her. Because, like, who doesn’t want some of her art. It’s amazing.
Amadea: Exactly. Go commission her. Um, go read the Headliner.
Ami: [loud gasp] Yes.
Amadea: Ami is currently doing a bonus episode where she does a 73 Questions, which is...epic, and a new one just came out—
Ami: I have so many opinions on this. I have so—
Amadea: Would you like to speak on it?
Ami: YES. Absolutely. Thank you. Um, basically, Headliner— first of all, if you haven’t read our issues, go— that sounds like we have problems. No, like, our, like, our releases. [laughs]
Amadea: If you haven’t read our issues...
Ami: If you haven’t read about our problems— no. Go read out— go read— go read! Just literally go read ‘em. You don’t have to read every single one, like, some of them are— like mine— are kinda, don’t make sense. But like, go read them! There’s so many good articles, and the writers are fantastic? Like—
Cecily: Insanely talented. Like—
Ami: Right.
Cecily: Who even allowed them to have this much talent.
Ami: Right, exactly. So go read the issues. But then, I was— this is a project I’ve kinda been working on on-and-off since, like, the Headliner started, because, I was like, I don’t know anything about anyone on this team except for the people I’m like really good friends with. Let’s learn more about them! So originally I was just gonna draw them as, like, mugshots, because I also wanted to practice, like, art and stuff, and... then, I was like, wait, hold up— what if I interview every single one of them in the style of 73 Questions by Vogue? Because I was obsessed with that series as a kid. And... that happened, and now all— everyone on the team hates me because I made them answer 73 questions in like the timespan of a month which is wild.
[laughter]
Ami: I’m staggering the release ‘cos... we need a break and so we have a break month July and August so I’m staggering them Mondays and Thursdays. They’re just— I was like, I have to proofread them to make sure, like, no one’s... cussing people out, or like, y’know, saying anything super controversial... and, I’m like, these people are so interesting. Like, I think we forget that beyond in character on-site these people are all, like, crazy accomplished, they’re crazy smart— I mean obviously we know they’re crazy smart like jeez everyone on this site is a genius— but like, they’re these really interesting people with incredible lives, and you get to learn— read more about them! And it’s, just, they’re incredible. Go— go read the Headliner, stan the Headliner, put— turn on your notifications on the Headliner board—
Cecily: Ami put so much effort into this, please go read it.
Amadea: Yes, go—
Ami: Too much, too much.
Amadea: It’s very interesting.
Ami: I let...at least four threads get abandoned because of this. [laughs] But it’s fine, they got re-opened.
Amadea: And, speaking of Ami…
Ami: Oh.
Amadea: You should— we’re doing— we decided we’re gonna shout out some threads, too.
Ami: Oh yes.
Amadea: So if you want your thread to be shouted out, y’know, just let us know! And we’ll include it.
Ami: Or we’ll— we’ll probably just go through unread and be like, “READ THIS IT’S FUNNY AS HECK”, too.
Amada: Yeah, honestly. Um it’s called Thinking Out Loud, Part Two, where Scott and Ami get into this giant fight and ruin their friendship for awhile.
Ami: Character development is good! We’re on a website where no one’s doing— frickin’ character development! Get into more fights!
Cecily: Imagine developing your character… can’t relate.
Ami: Get into more— Okay, we need to fix your whole situation over there, because Cecily… [sighs in disappointment] She’s just sad. She’s just sad.
Cecily: Cecily… oh my god, it’s awful.
Ami: So guys, character development.
Cecily: If you guys need another enemy, please hit me up. She needs some people to be upset at.
Amadea: Also, we have a thread, the three of us. It’s called Messy Little Menace.
Cecily: It’s in the abandoned classroom.
Amadea: It has ink… and a cat.
Ami: Yes.
Cecily: So uh, it’s a wild time, it’s really great.
Ami: It’s full of great writing!
Cecily: I know one other person who has read it, and they appreciated it, so you guys will appreciate it.
Ami: [gasp] Also, join clubs! Join the Gobstones Club, because we need more people, and Amadea needs to get more practice modding things.
Amadea: Yes, um… if you don’t have the resources to purchase a gobstones set, hit any one of us up, because we have plenty of money to spare.
Ami: Yeah, we have— okay, not me. I accidentally… went broke, but it’s fine. I do have money.
Amadea: What did you do?
Ami: I donated to the Durmstrang Quidditch broom fund thingy-ma-bobber for art…
Amadea: Ah…
Ami: And it was like, 30 galleons. And it was… it’s fine. I have money now, because fourth years get a lot of money. I was wrong. Okay, I had a whole bet thing going on— this is important…
Amadea:Exponential function.
Cecily: Yeah!
Ami: Yeah, I was like doing math, I was trying to predict how much money we would get... And then it was like, my lowest possible guess! ‘Cos I said it was either gonna be 12, 10, 8, or 7, and if it’s 9 I’m gonna cry—‘cos it was the one number I didn’t guess—and it was like, 7. And I’m like… but math! But math! So I’m trying to figure out if there’s a pattern. I don’t think there is. Also, since we’re doing sexuality this episode, join the LGBTQIA+ Club! … there’s no P? Is it really just I… A? J— Join that club.
Cecily: They probably do have the P in there.
Amadea: The plus includes everything. It could just be the L+ club and we would know.
Cecily: Right.
[laughter]
Ami: Right, join that club, it’s in the Leaky Cauldron.
Cecily: They have some good conversation in that thread.
Ami: Be nice to staff, because… there have been stuff that’s been happening, and I’m like, this is unacceptable, if you’re mean to staff I will come out and slap slap slap slap slap.
Cecily: We will fight you.
Ami: Because staff works really hard… be patient with them, there’s stat updates and abilities… I feel like the people who are listening to this will understand, though…
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: So we’re kind of preaching to the choir, but like, y’know. Spread the message. If someone disrespects staff, come find Ami, Cecily, and Amadea and we will personally…
Amadea: Fight them.
Ami: Roast them. We will like—
Cecily: We will throw hands.
Ami: Grill them.
Amadea: Guys, the staff works really hard, and it’s all like, volunteer work, it’s just like, their own extra time, that they dedicate—
Ami: No one’s getting paid.
Amadea: Yeah, no one’s getting paid.
Cecily: I mean, we’re getting on site money, but like, that’s it.
Ami: Okay.
Amadea: Well, besides, you’re not getting actual money.
Cecily: Right.
Amadea: So like, it’s all like out of the goodness of their hearts.
Cecily: Everyone who’s doing it thoroughly enjoys it, we have a good time with it, and it’s like… we’re all just trying to have a good time! So like—
Amadea: Yeah!
Ami: Mhm.
Cecily: Don’t get upset about anything.
Amadea: And then, we decided we’ll leave you with a little—
Ami: [gasp] Yes. A mission. Assignment. A homework assignment.
Amadea: Yes, a little mission.
Cecily: Because the LGBTQIAP+ is all—
Ami: YEAH.
Cecily: —about the community, and, like, just showing appreciation for each other and loving each other and spreading the love, and, y’know, just being nice to people…
Amadea: Exactly!
Cecily: —because why wouldn’t you?
Amadea: So that’s why our assignment for you is to go write someone a letter. It could be a physical letter, a handwritten letter that you give to someone in your real life that you appreciate, like a family member or a friend, or you could write a letter to someone on site…
Cecily: Send them an owl, or a DM.
Amadea: Right, send an owl or a DM, or just like anything. Just like, show someone that you appreciate them
Cecily: Even just like, in your reply to them, just like put it in a reducio and be like, hey, I appreciate that you’re threading with me.
Amadea: Yeah! ‘Cos you know, life is short, and just— love each other.
Cecily: And it’ll make you feel good! So, like… just go for it. Just do it!
Amadea: Yeah!
Ami: The little heart emoji on site is so cute, like I want that to be like our phone emojis.
[laughter]
Ami: Like, legitimately, so much cuter than the ones- like the Apple heart? Not cute. Not the cutest. But the one on site? So cute. Just saying.
Cecily: It’s because it’s pixelated!
Ami: That is true.
Cecily: It’s adorable!
Ami: Like a little 32-bit heart. It’s so cute.
Amadea: Alright.
Cecily: That’s that! That’s all we got!
Ami: That’s all we got. Do we have an outro, yet?
Cecily: Stay slurping!
Ami: Stay shlurpin’, you parallelograms.
Cecily: Wait—
Ami: Are we gonna be one of those podcasts with a fandom? And we call our fans the parallelograms?
Amadea: Yes.
Cecily: That makes no sense. Parallelograms literally have nothing to do with anything, but sounds good. Stay… slurping!
⛾ TEATIME ⛾
episode two
================= ============================================================
icebreakers & iced tea
-Hello you lovely, lovely parallelograms! In the second installment of the Teatime Podcast, listen to the podcast gals answer the deep questions of the universe. Get to know them inside and out. Again, we apologize for the lengthy amount of time it took to produce this episode but we promise we haven't forgotten about you! Please let us know what you think and let us know if you have any suggestions or comments about anything we should do in the future! A huge shoutout to everyone on the Teatime Team; we love you all! With that, stay slurpin' and enjoy the second episode!
- Lizzie Verdine's art
- Read the Hogwarts Headliner!
- More specifically...Ami's Bonus Issue!
- September Back to School Headliner article
- Chess Combat Games
- Sign up for Dueling!
- Join the AURA Club!
- Teasing and Translation
- DM us ideas/suggestions!
- @Lizzie Verdine for the art!
- @Adam Harringtom for the intro!
- @Willow Anderson, Podcast Gremlin
- @Freya Thomas, transcript overlord
ReducioTranscript:
Cecily: Dude, you know what, I really wanna be one of those people at like Walmart that decorates the cakes and writes on cakes. That would be so cool.
[intro music plays]
Adam: Get ready… because it’s time to steep, slurp, and spill! Welcome to Teatime with Cecily, Amadea, and Ami.
[intro music keeps playing, then fades out; automated voice says ‘here is your host’]
Cecily: Welcome to Teatime! Woah!
Amadea: We realize this probably should have been the first episode—
Ami: Right—
Cecily: So we actually recorded another episode before this but then we were like, ‘hey, what if we like...do an intro episode?’ So that’s what we’re doing now! So—
Ami: Alright—
Cecily: Ami...who are you?
Ami: Who am I? Well I’m Ami. Ami is me.
Cecily: Delightful.
Ami: Yeah so...we have created a couple of like starter—just like, hey this is who I am as a person outside of my character because we—I sort of realized like outside of the discord and outside of the people that we regularly talk to, on like a daily basis on the discord, not a lot of people actually know a lot about us ‘cause you know we don’t go blasting our personal information around. So, I gave a few little categories for us to answer about ourselves, just so like...you get a sense of who we are. I think these are very important questions that really define a person and their characteristics, so my out of character Hogwarts house is also Hufflepuff. My favorite movie at the moment iiiss….honestly I’d probably say maybe Music and Lyrics. My favorite color has always been blue. My favorite joke...one I can think of right now is what do you call a snobbish criminal walking down the stairs?
Cecily: What?
Ami: A condescending con descending.
[laughing]
Ami: And what is my life motto? “We’ll wing it and we’ll see if we die.” That’s my life motto.
Cecily: That’s a delightful life motto—
Ami: Because it’s—it’s delightful. How about...how about Cecily? Hey Cecily, who are you?
Cecily: Hey, hey, my name’s Cecily. My out of character Hogwarts house is Ravenclaw because I’m a nerd, but we all knew that already. My favorite movie...have to give an honorable mention to the Hamilton movie because...you can’t not talk about that. But like of all time, The Princess Bride.
Ami: Uhh
Cecily: Quality movie. 10/10…15/10
[Ami laughing]
Cecily: So good. Um.
[laughing]
Cecily: My favorite color is also blue, look at that!
Amadea: Wow
Cecily: My favorite joke...man I gotta think about this one. We’ll come back to that. I don’t know. Maybe like halfway through the episode I’ll think of one. That sounds about like something I would do. And my life motto...I also don’t have one ‘cause apparently I—
Ami: Oh
Cecily: I’m an uninteresting person and have not thought about my life very much.
Ami: Alright. That’s fine. So that leaves...that leaves Amadea. Amadea, who are you?
Amadea: I..am Amadea. My out of character Hogwarts house—see there’s a long story behind this. I did also explain this in the other episode but basically I always was a Ravenclaw but then I took it again—the test—like a month ago and I got Hufflepuff..so I really don’t know. I’m a Ravenpuff.
Cecily: Lovely.
Amadea: My favorite movie, at the moment [a very very very long pause was cut out at this point] I don’t know. My favorite movie...at the moment...well I mean technically this isn’t a movie but I’ve been watching so many Mean Girls bootlegs. It’s not even funny.
Cecily: Oh my God. It’s absurd.
Amadea: I’ve watched the original broadway cast, I’ve seen Erika Henningsen’s last show, I’ve seen one with Gianna... Yanneli or however you say it as Janis, I’ve seen the tour cast, I’ve seen one with Cailen Fu as Gretchen, I’ve seen one with...like...Renee as Regina, I’ve seen them all. I’ve seen them all. So I guess that’s my favorite—
Cecily: She literally—She’ll literally DM me every single time she’s watching one to be like ‘I’m watching this one now!’ And it’s—
Amadea: Oh also—
Cecily: And it’s so many of them!
Amadea: The one with Cameron Dallas… we just don’t talk about that one.
Cecily: We don’t talk about that one.
[Ami laughs]
Amadea: My favorite color—when both of you were saying this, by the way—your favorite colors—I just was just thinking about Monty Python where they say “What is your favorite color?” and then the guy goes “Blue, wait no, yellow! AAAH!” I don’t really have a favorite color. I just like...all colors that look nice.
Ami: That is...fair. I was gonna say that’s a copout answer but then I remembered that like eight people I know don’t have a favorite color, so that’s fair!
Amadea: Yeah! I don’t like to choose favorites—
Ami: That’s valid.
Amadea: ‘Cause like it changes all the time.
Ami: Right
Amadea: So like it’s never just one set—
Cecily: What’s your favorite at this very moment?
Amadea: At this very moment? Um...
Ami: I was gonna make a joke. You ruined my joke!
Amadea: Maybe like a nice—
Cecily: I don’t know what to tell you, Ami—
Amadea: Aquamarine something?
Cecily: Solid choice.
Amadea: And my life motto...I’ll just steal one of the quotes I have in Amadea’s bio which is “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
Ami: No no no hang on hang on hang on, uh Amadea. You said you have a hard time choosing favorites?
Amadea: Yes…
Ami: Who’s your favorite, me or Cecily?
Cecily: Dea there’s a correct answer here.
Amadea: I refuse—
Ami: If you say Adam both of us are going to murder you.
[nervous laughter]
Amadea: I say Adam.
Cecily: Ouch.
Amadea: No, I say none of you because you’re all equally—
Cecily: It’s me. You know it’s me. You know it’s me. This isn’t a question.
Amadea: You...also no Cecily I’ll say you if you bake the cupcakes in time for me to have one.
Cecily: I can’t promise that!
Amadea: Well then, I can’t promise that you’re my favorite.
Cecily: I see, okay. So I’m only good for cupcakes? Ouch. I-I see where I stand. I see how it is.
Amadea: Yeah you’re my...food person.
[laughter]
Cecily: Great.
Amadea: Okayyyy….
Cecily: Whoooo!
Ami: Moving on then. So...since this is an icebreaker episode and we are a tea-themed podcast we obviously have to start out with the all-encompassing question of: what is your favorite type of tea?
Cecily: Okay. I got this one. I got this. Alright so—
Ami: She’s gonna give us an essay. Brace yourselves.
Cecily: I might. I drink so much tea it’s absurd. Okay, so, y’know, in the winter you gotta have the hot teas and y’know my favorite hot tea is Rooibos. So good. Although it’s also—I don’t really know how to pronounce it—I’ve heard it pronounced multiple different ways. But regardless, it’s great. I also am particularly a fan of chai lattes. Uh those are quality. I have an iced chai latte right now in my hand that I got from Dunkin Donuts.
Ami: [condescendingly] Oh.
Cecily: It’s a quality summer drink when you put it over ice but— in general I drink a lot of iced black tea during the summer but y’know iced fruity tea—raspberry iced fruity tea! That is the ultimate summer drink and that’s that on that.
Ami: Wait can we backtrack a little. Did you say you got your iced chai from Dunkin Donuts?
Cecily: Yes.
Ami: Do you guys have, like, actually good Dunkin Donuts? ‘Cause I don’t have good Dunkin Donuts where I live.
Cecily: We literally—we’re the tiniest town ever and we have two Dunkin Donuts in our town.
Amadea: Yeah.
Cecily: It’s kind of wild. Um, but, yeah. The vanilla chai latte from Dunkin Donuts are usually either hit or miss—like sometimes I’ve had really really good ones from there and then I’ve also had really bad ones that are just like straight...like milk.
Ami: Ew.
Cecily: But this one was okay. Could’ve been a little more chai flavored but—It’s usually not as good over ice because then it gets all like watered down but like it’s still a quality drink. Amadea what’s your favorite kind of tea?
Amadea: [pause] See I’m not so big on hot drinks. Like I really don’t like hot tea or just—it’s not just tea though it’s just any—
Ami: Do you know what? It’s because Amadea is already too hot.
Amadea: Yeah! Like the only hot drink that I really like is hot chocolate but I don’t like hot coffee, I don’t like hot tea and I can’t think of any other drinks that are served to you hot. But iced wise—
Ami: Soup.
Amadea: Soup is not a drink.
Cecily: That time Amadea—That time I got clam chowder and Amadea, knowing she was allergic to shellfish still asked for a sip of it.
[intense giggling]
Ami: Oh my God….
Amadea: Okay the one thing I would sacrifice myself for is clam chowder. It’s so good.
[more laughing]
Amadea: Alright iced tea, just in all forms, is heavenly.
Cecily: Thank you for agreeing.
Amadea: Last year—last summer we had like a bunch of different berries and we just like put them all together in iced tea and then it was like this multitude of berry tea and it was great.
Cecily: That sounds delightful.
Amadea: It was. Alright, Ami.
Ami: So I think I have like...three top favorite teas. Jasmine tea with the little tea cups you drink with your family while you’re eating dinner because we’re Asian like that. I’m also very partial to chai tea lattes like Cecily…’cause I’m basic. Don’t come for me. But—
Cecily: Okay but like so good, so it makes up for it.
Ami: They are good. Right, you can’t hate on that. And I love...I love love love like fruit teas but like the weird ones, so like I think my favorite right now is Earl Grey with blood oranges—that’s so good.
Cecily: That sounds really good.
Ami: But yeah. So good. Alright.
Amadea: Why don’t we move on to the second question which is—
Ami: Oh.
Amadea: What would be your dream job?
Cecily: Okay I’ll start out for this one. I would sell my soul to be on Broadway. That’s that. However, however, the closest I’m gonna get—imma go to college, imma major in architecture, minor in theatre, then become a set designer because that would be cool as hell and that’s that.
Ami: Epic. Yeah epic. [laughs]
Amadea: Okay my dream job—I don’t have like a specific position job title that would be my dream job, but ideally in a perfect world, I would get to be paid for just like traveling the world and going to destinations and like rating them. Like a travel vlogger or something like that.
Ami: Oh my god.
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: [gasps] Yeah!
Amadea: That would be so epic—
Cecily: That would be so cool.
Amadea: I would just bring my camera and vlog my vacations and then get paid for it.
Cecily: Yeah, that would be so cool.
Ami: So you wanna be a Youtuber.
Amadea: No but like more legit than a YouTuber.
[laughter]
Ami: Yeah, no I got you.
Amadea: Yeah. Yeah, that would be it. But in reality, I’m probably just gonna go to college and major in political science.
Ami: That’s fair. That’s pretty dope—
Amadea: Maybe I could do like foreign relations and then travel.
Ami: That would be really cool. Imagine if you were like a diplomat.
Amadea: Imagine.
Cecily: You should just become bilingual and then be a translator.
Amadea: Except I’m not bilingual.
Cecily: Well that’s why you become bilingual.
Amadea: The only other language I take is—
Cecily: Well you did drop out of French.
Amadea: I know but I couldn’t fit French and Latin into my schedule.
Ami: So you chose Latin over French?
Amadea: Yeah because my Latin teacher is amazing and she makes us food a lot.
Ami: Okay that’s fair.
Cecily: When you’d rather have food than actual useful knowledge.
Amadea: Okay but she does give us actual useful knowledge...about Latin.
Ami: Yeah but that’s a dead language.
Amadea: You’re dead.
Cecily: It’s not useful if you can’t apply it to anything.
Ami: I am. I agree.
Amadea: But you can apply it.
Cecily: To what?
Amadea: Well—
Cecily: Latin?
Amadea: If you’re going into like a medical field or anything with all the Latin derivatives and—
Cecily: That’s true.
Amadea: Your vocabulary just in general because—
Cecily: But also you’re not going into the medical field. So.
Ami: Yeah.
Amadea: And it also—just like, you learn a lot of life lessons in that class.
Ami: You learn life lessons?
Cecily: That are completely unrelated to Latin.
Amadea: Yeah but like it’s good for life! I mean like through all the stories of the mythology.
Cecily: Dude, you know what, I really wanna be one of those people at like Walmart that decorates the cakes and writes on cakes. That would be so cool. I mean obviously not for like—that wouldn’t be my full-time job but like for a part-time that would be pretty epic.
Amadea: No, my Latin teacher, she teaches Latin and then she has a side business where she bakes cakes and other sweet treats and sells them!
Cecily: Oh yeah, she made your birthday cake and it was epic.
Amadea: It was epic.
Ami: That’s super cool. I wish my teachers did stuff like that.
Cecily: Right? Go to a private school.
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: If only….
Cecily: Okay, Ami, dream job?
Ami: Okay. Dream, dream dream dream dream job would be to be like a content writer ‘cause I’ve found that I really like doing that. So my friends would build websites or because my parents are business owners and most of my relatives are business owners and I’m like the only one who has a remote interest in writing things, they always ask me to write stuff for their websites ‘cause none of them can write for crap and I’ve legitimately found that I’ve really liked it. I...I really like just writing and content writing and...I keep saying content writing, I need to find a different phrase for it but I don’t know if there’s another name for it. ‘Cause like writing stuff for other people ‘cause God knows that I have no creativity and can’t write for myself but for other people, if they like tell me “Hey give us this, this, this, here’s your resources,” I’m like “Yeah this is fun.”
Cecily: If you’re listening to this please tell us what job Ami is talking about.
[laughter]
Ami: Okay when you hire someone, like a web developer, to make a website for your business, they don’t write the content. Like, they don’t write like, here’s a bio, here’s an infographic, here’s paragraph, here’s an essay. They don’t write that, they just design everything. So I have done like content writing for websites, mostly within my family because they don’t want to outsource, and...it’s just fun. But, kind of dope, you know what would be kinda dope? To be a freaking astronaut. I love space.
Amadea: In the like...rocket ship I would like...have an attack of anxiety being in there.
Cecily: An attack of anxiety?
Amadea: Yes.
[laughter]
Ami: I would totally get like some sort of panic/anxiety attack but I’d love it while it was happening.
Amadea: No, I—
Ami: I just like pain. That is, that is the most edgy thing I’ve ever said. No but legitimately if I could be an astronaut, I’d want to but I don’t think that’s gonna happen.
Cecily: It also takes a while.
Ami: So—yeah. Along the lines of things you’re passionate about, what's a cause that’s important to you?
Cecily: Oh God.
Amadea: I can start this one.
Ami: Alright Amadea.
Amadea: I don’t know how—last year I got really—started to get involved with like...climate change activism and stuff like that. And so, I joined this movement that is the largest youth-led movement in the United States. It’s called the Sunrise Movement. It is a partisan movement, like, we don’t have to talk about that, it’s just you know the movement itself is built off of like saving the earth and like protecting the environment and advocating for a greener earth because—
Cecily: And the Green New Deal.
Amadea: Because we do need to protect our earth so we don’t all die.
Ami: And that’s iconic.
Cecily: I would love to not die.
Amadea: Yes.
Cecily: That’s-that’s my goal in life, to not die.
Amadea: Yes. Never.
Cecily: Never [laughs] No I wouldn’t want to be immortal. That would just be sad.
Amadea: Yeah, no, that would just be sad.
Cecily: ‘Cause then you have to watch everyone around you—yeah no that would—nope. Not a good time. Ami what’s important to you?
Ami: Alright. Um okay, I think there are some pretty obvious ones here. Definitely the LGBTQIAP+ community and equal rights for everybody. I would also like to say that jokingly I say that I love the—you know the birds aren’t real company? I don’t know if you see their ads—
Cecily: Yeah.
Ami: I see their ads all the time.
Cecily: That birds are drones?
Ami: I love their—I love saying that just to make my parents super annoyed at me, but legitimately their merch is gorgeous.
Cecily: I love that.
Ami: I’d also like to give more rights to children because we actually sometimes do know what we’re saying. We may make up words like ‘yeet’ and ‘lit’ and ‘bet’ but I swear we do know things sometimes.
Cecily: Amadea kind of took the one that was important to me, which was the environment but also apparently everything that is important to me is political so we’re not gonna go there, but I did write post cards telling people to vote by mail!
Amadea: Moving on, what song always puts you in a good mood? Cecily?
Cecily: “Little Miss Perfect” by Taylor Louderman because she is a goddess. She is a queen, she is a legend. Her voice is literally perfect, she’s perfect, she’s amazing and the song is gay so like there’s nothing to lose.
Ami: [intense laughter] I—you should have prefaced it with it was gay, not just like, throw it in at the end ‘cause now I’m in tears.
[more laughter]
Cecily: Alright, we broke Ami, so Amadea you’re going next.
Amadea: Okay. I think I might have to break this up into a few different categories because I have such a wide variety of taste in music that it just—you know?
Cecily: ...Right. Okay so just...pick one.
Amadea: Okay so I’m gonna do kinda like, current song and then oldie and then that’s it because I can’t choose—okay, for oldie, definitely “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen because—
Cecily: [singing] Don’t stop me now. Okay sorry.
Amadea: It puts me in a good mood. And then probably for current I’d say “Catastrophize” by Noah Kahan. Noah Kahan is my all-time favorite artist.
Cecily: Noah Kahan.
Amadea: Check him out ‘cause you won’t regret it.
Cecily: Every single one of his songs is—
Amadea: Yeah no they’re—
Cecily: Fantastic.
Amadea: There’s literally no song of his—
Cecily: There’s literally no bad song.
Ami: That’s fair.
Amadea: He’s epic.
Cecily: Ami, now that you’re fixed again—
Ami: Collecting myself. Um...okay. Not to be a basic...human being but, “Magic in the Hamptons” makes me believe in love again and that is very hard to do because as I’m fond of saying, love is dead and so am I. So, [laughs], “Magic in the Hamptons” is honestly such like a really good feel good song and I am like yes everything is fine again, I will get up, I will dance, and I will be happy. But if I’m just in a deep like mental rut, I really really like “Easy Living” by Billy Holiday ‘cos secretly I’m a sixty year old grandmother. Those two and “Edelweiss” from the Sound of Music, those three songs—
Cecily: Dude—
Ami: Cheer me up no matter what.
Amadea: “Edelweiss” makes me sad.
Ami: It makes me sad if you listen to like the reprise version. The original—like the first, the first one earlier. That one makes me just—I’m like ‘Okay! I’m fine, I’m fine. Everything’s fine.’ Just solid, solid—Also, to the people listening. Please send the three of us song recommendations ‘cause I think I speak on behalf of the three of us when we say we have played the same sixty songs over and over again for the past two years.
Amadea: Yeah
Cecily: Look, sending song requests has been in my status for the past like month so like just keep ‘em coming, keep ‘em coming.
Amadea: Yeah please.
Ami: Please do.
Amadea: My current song obsession, I’ll share it with you even though this isn’t a question.
Cecily: You guys, I’ve made a playlist out of the song requests I’ve gotten—the song recommendations I’ve gotten so far so you can go listen to that.
Amadea: Okay I will. Um—
Cecily: My Spotify is linked in my discord profile so like [clicks tongue], go check it out.
Amadea: The current song that I have on repeat right now is “Black Madonna” by Cage the Elephant.
Ami: Oh, that’s yeah. Cage the Elephant is god tier.
Amadea: I originally heard it on the radio and I was like ‘oh my gosh, great song.’ And now I can’t stop listening.
Ami: That’s fair. Cage the Elephant is really good especially if you like really good guitar.
Amadea: Yeah.
Cecily: Which who doesn’t?
Amadea: Noah Kahan also plays the guitar. Well.
Cecily: True.
Ami: Alright. Alright guys, as teenagers who are all female, do you wear perfume?
Amadea: No.
Ami: I have a story with this. I always have a story.
[laughter]
Cecily: Oh boy.
Ami: So, I actually do but it is out of spite, which is not a good reason to do—
Cecily: Of course it is.
Ami: Yeah, if you know me, everything I do is out of spite. So, my friend who is—what are they calling it, uh like a hey girlie, hey girlie girl? Is that what it’s called? Like bruh girls versus hey girl—
Cecily: I don’t know.
Ami: Okay it’s from TikTok. I don’t remember. But she’s extremely feminine and so, this one time I took her out to eat ‘cos I’m a nice friend and we were walking around the mall and she goes “Let’s go into Bath and Body Works.” This is a problem for two reasons — One: I look like a man. Two: I have a really sensitive nose so I will start sneezing the second I walk in there. But she doesn’t care, obviously, so she dragged me in. And then, and then, the worst twenty minutes of my life happened where she—not actually the worst twenty minutes of my life, I’m being really dramatic—she takes every single perfume and body spray and sprays it on me. The only one I didn’t immediately sneeze at was like this rose vanilla one and she got that for me for my birthday and now I just wear it out of spite because she’s like “You’re never gonna wear this,” and I’m like “Screw you, watch me.” So yeah, I do wear perfume, and yes, I do smell amazing and it is delicious. I would—it really does smell good. [laughter] Yeah so that is like my really long winded story about how—about why I wear perfume.
Cecily: Alright well that was delightful. Everything you do is out of spite. That should just be your life motto.
Ami: True. Yeah. That’s fair, that’s fair.
Cecily: Okay, what is something you like to do the old fashioned way? I can tell you something I don’t like to do the old fashioned way which is make cookies because Martha Stewart, listen up. No one wants to mix cookie dough with a wooden spoon. That is just facts. Literally no one. It’s so much effort. That’s all.
Ami: Cecily is coming for Martha Stewart. They’re gonna have some beef, they’re gonna have a Twitter feud.
Cecily: I’m gonna fight her. I’ll fight her. I’ll fight you. Martha Stewart, if you hear this, fight me.
Ami: Okay, something you do like to do the old fashioned way?
Cecily: I don’t know. Reading books is old fashioned, I guess. I do like physical books instead of e-books. I can’t—I can’t deal with ebooks, they're just awful.
Amadea: I agree with that.
Ami: I also agree with that.
Amadea: Can I steal that answer as mine? ‘Cos I can’t think of anything else.
Cecily: No!
Ami: You can’t think of anything else?
Cecily: Okay fine, you know what, fine.
Amadea: ‘Cos you stole mine.
Cecily: I stole your environment answer so you can steal—that works.
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: Is it weird if I say dating? I don’t like Snapchat, honestly. I get confused. Apparently there’s rules and etiquette to Snapchat, so you know I’d rather just hit someone up and flirt with them the old fashioned way, you know...in person, face to face, which makes this whole pandemic trash. Literal trash, just saying. Also, yeah, no books. Hardcover or even paperback, just physical books are so much more satisfying than e-books.
Cecily: True.
Ami: You don’t get to shut an e-book with a satisfying like little thunk that the book makes and just sit back—
Cecily: Yeah you know when you finish a book and you like close it and then you just put it down and wallow you know, you don’t get to do that with e-books.
Ami: I just—why do you only read depressing books? I don’t wallow after a funny book.
Cecily: No, but like, you just sit there and then you think about what you just read because you know if it's a good book you’re—you’ve gotta sit there and think about it for a little while.
Ami: Yeah but I’m not gonna wallow.
Cecily: Okay, maybe wallow was the wrong choice of words.
Ami: Definitely was. Okay, this one...I found this question and I was like I forgot I wrote this but I'm a genius, alright?
Cecily: Oh yeah, this is kind of a wild question. Where did this come from?
Ami: Um...I don’t actually know. Which body part do you wish you could detach and reattach at will?
Cecily: Okay since this is your question, you’re going first Ami.
Ami: Alright. I would like to be able to detach and reattach my entire head. So, this is assuming when I detach it, all of like, my eyes, my mouth, my ears, will all still work. Right? Actually, I have two answers to this but one of them is less cool so this one’s funnier. So, imagine, okay. You get in a fight. I punch you, you punch me, I throw a right hook, you try to kick me in the face and then, I just yeet my face off and throw it at you. How terrified would you be?
Cecily: I would be so scared. Oh my God. But also that would be so good for like, espionage, you know? You just roll your head quietly into the room.
[laughter]
Ami: Right? That’s my other answer. Basically, extendable ears but it’s your own ears.
Cecily: Right.
Ami: Right, but the thing is, no it doesn’t have to have those stupid string things, you can still see the string. So what if you just took your ear off and like left it in something, which would also be so funny—if you took your ear off and put it in like the bottom of someone’s glass of their drink—
Cecily: Then you would have to like listen to them drinking, that would be disgusting.
Ami: That would be disgusting, but so worth it. So worth it.
Cecily: That would be pretty epic.
Ami: So guys, what’s your answer to this question?
Cecily: I...literally don’t even have an answer to this. I have not thought about this, nor do I want to.
Ami: It’s a fun thing to think about. Amadea, what about you?
Amadea: Maybe my hand so then I could like unattach it and grab something and then reattach it, ‘cos I’m...short so like, it would be a lot easier.
[Ami laughs]]
Cecily: You unattach it, throw it up onto the top shelf, grab a thing, and just walk it back down?
Amadea: Yeah.
Cecily: Also, then you could actually do some great jokes when people ask you to lend a hand.
Amadea: I can literally lend a hand.
Cecily: You just give them your hand. You take it off, and you give it to them.
Ami: Would it be both hands or one hand?
Cecily: Both.
Amadea: Both.
Ami: Both. Right but then that comes with the issue, like what if the reattaching thing gets really like, you know how when you use something too much it gets really loose? What if, like, you randomly like dancing and then your hands just fly off?
[laughing]
Amadea: What if you’re dancing and your head just—
Ami: A head’s not gonna fly very far. Hands they’re tiny, that’s gonna fly places man.
Amadea: But the momentum of your head could just like—
Ami: Maybe I’d get a concussion. That would not be good.
Cecily: Oh that would not be good, you’re right.
Ami: I stand by my head answer, it’s still really funny.
Amadea: Moving on…
[laughter]
Amadea: Do you believe in luck?
Cecily: I believe that you make your own luck. Like I don’t believe in fate or anything. I believe that some things you do can have a positive or negative impact on what happens in the future but I don’t believe in just one force existing that just like says “Yeah this is gonna work out for you” or “No, to heck with you, this is gonna get screwed up” or whatever.
Ami: Actually, that’s, another question to this because they’re almost the same thing. So you don’t believe in fate?
Amadea: Well, I mean—
Cecily: I do not.
Ami: So Cecily says your actions determine your luck and your fate.
Cecily: Yes.
Amadea: Ami, what do you think?
Ami: Me? I don’t believe in like…destiny. I don’t believe in like, oh there’s this being out there and it’s controlling your actions and you’re powerless to stop it. Like, I do believe we do have free will and it does affect what we do. Maybe it’s inconsequential in the grand scheme of things but we do have free will and it will affect things around us. That said, I also believe—I do think there is luck. Like, when you play cards, when you play Monopoly, when you play any sort of gambling game that is luck, like there’s nothing you can do to be like—you could be the nicest person in the world and you still won’t get that like perfect slot line-up, you won’t get that perfect slot line-up where you get the jackpot, right? There is luck, but it is random. Like, just because you’re a good person doesn’t mean you’ll get lucky. Right, does that make sense?
Cecily: Right. Yeah.
Ami: That’s so heavy, why did I pick these questions? Jeez.
Amadea: I feel like—
Cecily: No, I really like the questions.
Amadea: I agree with that, but like I wouldn’t call it luck though. I’d call it like chance. You know?
Cecily: Yeah, yeah for sure.
Amadea: Like with what you’re saying about cards and gambling and stuff. It’s all about chance. It's not really… luck.
Cecily: It’s not some like… bigger, powerful force being like: “This is gonna work out for ya.” It’s just like...random
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: So then if you just happen to get the better side of that chance you are just called lucky…
Amadea: Yeah.
Cecily: Right. That—we—as humans, we have a tendency to want to see patterns where patterns don’t exist and we don’t like thinking about how we don’t really have control over anything so we wanna be like “Yeah I have good luck so everything’s gonna work out for me” or “Oh this didn’t work out for me I guess I’m just unlucky.” Like you don’t wanna blame it on anything random happening to you, you want to have a solid explanation for it.
Ami: Right. Okay so that’s pretty heavy. Um…
Cecily: Well, that was a good time.
Ami: Oh guys! Guys, guys, guys. What’s your favorite month of the year and if you pick your birth month you are lame and I will call you out on it.
Cecily: Okay what if I pick my birth month but it’s for a different reason?
Ami: That’s fair. Alright.
Cecily: Okay. Right. So my favorite month is October, but not because my birthday’s during it. Also not because Halloween even though that’s a perk because we all love candy. Um, my favorite month is October because my favorite season is fall and I really like—October is just like the perfect fall month. Like, it’s not too cold but it’s not too warm, it’s like...crisp and the leaves are changing and it’s pretty and like you can just go out and walk around and it’s beautiful and it’s a good time.
Ami: Valid. That is valid. Amadea, what is your favorite month?
Amadea: What if I have two favorite months?
Ami: That is fine.
Amadea: Okay. So my first one is November because Thanksgiving...which is an American holiday. So, we’re special. Um and we always go to my cousins’ house and it’s a great time and I like doing that every November and also it’s like, it’s just like the beginning of like, the holiday season and like the vibes of the holiday season are just awesome. And then my other favorite month is June and not because it’s my birth month but because it’s the beginning of summer and summer...is the best.
Cecily: You really just like when there’s no school.
Amadea: Yes and also I like working, so.
Ami: Oh, that’s fair.
Cecily: Except for all the times you complain about working.
Amadea: When have I complained?
Cecily: You literally, every time it’s going to rain you’re like “oh my God it’s going to rain I don’t have to go to work.”
Amadea: Well no, I just like the rain because I paid for just sitting there and talking with everyone.
Cecily: You get paid for not working.
Amadea: Exactly.
Ami: Oh that’s so unfair. Alright, um, like Amadea I also have two favorite months and one of them is the same as hers, so I love November for multiple reasons. So one: weather, because I would say that close to 80% of my wardrobe is hoodies and/or flannels and/or a singular leather jacket that I wear every single day because I am ridiculous and a creature of habit.
Cecily: Why is that - literally exactly my wardrobe.
Ami: Since I live in the Midwest and it gets cold I can finally start to wear them instead of, you know, wearing shorts and T-shirts and stuff, so that’s like, the biggest plus, I just - I get to wear most of my closet now, which is very important to me. Number two, I love November because it’s my brother’s birthday - both of my brothers’ birthdays - I have two brothers. Which means, cake. And I love cake. That is like, the most important thing about November to me. I’m literally not kidding, I love cake. So, my second favorite month - this is gonna go a lot faster cause you’re gonna laugh at me so I’m gonna move past the embarrassment. February, not because it’s my birth month, but because Valentine’s Day, I really love -
Amadea: Awwww
Ami: No, ah, it’s because it’s gorey - ah - I get to wear ridiculous makeup to school and people - and then, oh, and because Chinese New Year is usually in February, this year it was in January, which was like the first time it happened, which is ridiculous, but like Chinese New Year, I get money, I get so much money. It’s my favorite holiday, ever.
Cecily: Yeah. We do love getting money.
Amadea: Moving on, we’re getting a little deeper now: what are you most proud of?
Ami: Are we proud people? laughs
Cecily: I don’t think we are. I’m not proud of anything.
Amadea: I feel like I’ve had my moments.
Cecily: I feel like I know what I’m going to be proud of by next year, it just hasn’t happened yet.
Ami: That’s so random, okay, what are you going to be proud of by next year?
Cecily: Okay, so, we have this thing called a capstone project, which is that we have to do a project that, like, benefits the community in some way, um, and we have to do it in our Junior and Senior year in order to graduate. So, for my capstone project, I’m starting a sustainability club at my school, and it’s gonna be a good time, and we’re gonna make some changes and save the gosh darn Earth.
Amadea: Heck yeah.
Cecily: Heck yeah! So, that’s what I’m gonna be proud of, but it hasn’t happened yet because it’s summer.
Ami: It’s okay. That’s super cool. Amadea, what are you most proud of?
Amadea: Surviving up until this point maybe? [laughs]
Ami: Woooooww. Cop out answer, cop out answer, give us a better one.
Amadea: I don’t know! I’m not a proud person.
Ami: She has a lot to be a proud of though guys. Be a proud of? Be proud of.
Amadea: Be a proud of? Be proud of.
Cecily: What about all those times you went to, um, the like, Sunrise Rallies?
Amadea: Oh yeah, that was a good time. I mean, I wouldn’t say I was really proud of myself for doing that though. I mean, that just like, makes me seem like I’m, like, super conceited, like, oh, I’m so much better than you guys cause I go to these rallies.
Cecily: I mean you could be proud of something without being conceited. Like you can be proud that you’re taking action and doing something. Like, being proud doesn’t necessarily mean that like, you think you’re better than other people. You can be proud of yourself.
Amadea: That’s true. I’m, I’d say like, in terms of the rallies, I’m not so much as proud of myself as like, proud for everyone there in general, like hey, we’re all together making a difference. It’s a collective effort.
Ami: So you’re, proud... I would say you definitely should be-- you definitely should proud of your activism work, because that’s significant.
Amadea: Okay, so what are you proud of Ami?
Ami: Me, um, [coughs], well there’s my cop out answer, which is I’m a four year varsity athlete, because-- mmmh--
Amadea: Mhm. [laughs]
Cecily: Wow.
Ami: I know, that’s like...that’s legitimately, I would say that’s like my biggest, most like - hey colleges, look at this! - like that’s, like, my biggest accomplishment as a human-
Cecily: You mean your fall tennis season?
Ami: Ah, [scoffs] Cecily keeps saying that because our tennis season is during the fall and not during the spring.
Amadea: Yeah, that’s so weird.
Cecily: Tennis is objectively a spring sport, you can’t fight me on this. It’s just-- it’s- it’s fact.
Ami: Sure, whatever.
Amadea: Yeah, it’s definitely spring.
Cecily: Thank you!
Ami: Yeah, but then, how do you have enough courts at your school to host both the boys practice and the girls practices?
Cecily: Uh, we don’t have a boys team. [laughs]
Ami: Oh.
Cecily: [laughs] Because we’re not big enough for that.
Ami: Oh, that’s very different from us then because, yeah, we have a boys’ team.
Cecily: Also, why would you, you wouldn’t coach them at the same time, like you have games on different days.
Ami: Right, but you still have to practice!
Cecily and Amadea: You have different practice times.
Ami: That’s like, way, way too much work. No, but yeah, I guess like, if a college asks, “What impacted your life the most?” I’m like, pointing, I’m like: tennis. I’M A FOUR YEAR VARSITY ATHLETE. Which, I say with pride, because you know what? It’s fricking hard to do that. I don’t know - oh actually, that’s a lie. I know-
Cecily: It is a lot of varsity athletes but I think that’s just because our grade is ridiculous.
Ami: Um, but I think internally, what I’m most proud of is cutting my hair, because I used to have this crazy freaking long hair, and it was like my only personality trait, because I used to dance-
Cecily: Me too!
Ami: -and I used to have long hair. Yeah, exactly! And then, I cut it all off, and I was like - HYUH HYUH - I’m like, cool now! So.
Cecily: You look iconic. So like, fine.
Ami: Thank you, you also look iconic. We all look iconic. We’re a squad.
Amadea: Yayyy. Wow, this is weird, I have the longest hair of anyone here now.
Ami: And your hair is not that long! [laughs]
Cecily: It’s not!
Amadea: Yeah, that’s never happened. Wow. I feel special.
Cecily: What a wild time.
Ami: Romantic.
Amadea: So, like, your answer, with like Valentine’s Day. Do you believe in true love?
Ami: [laughs] Cecily do you want to start?
Cecily: [laughs] I do not want to start.
Ami: You do not want to start? Amadea, do you wanna start?
Amadea: Sure, let me think about it for a second. I think, like, it’s all, it’s...so subjective, you know? Like, nobody can truly understand how another person feels, you know? So like, if somebody’s like, oh, you guys aren’t in love, it’s like, hey, maybe they are? And they, like, cause they can-- you know what I mean? I can’t explain this.
Cecily: But do you think that, like, do you think it’s possible to feel true love?
Amadea: I don’t know? Probably, sure, go for it.
Cecily: Like, what-- okay like, what’s the difference between, like, true love and regular love. Like what’s the true part? What’s-- what’s the point of that?
Amadea: I don’t know, maybe it’s like, your true love is like, the person you’re supposed to end up with? Like, okay-
Cecily: I mean, that feels a lot like fate and destiny.
Amadea: And it also goes along like, do you believe in soul mates?
Ami: I have - okay, so my parents have a very good marriage. I have never quite seen two people who understand each other as much as my parents do. And I think I’m lucky to have that, cause like, a lot of people don’t like, get to see that sort of role model or standard in their life. So, I do believe in true love, I just think you have to be incredibly lucky to find it. Soulmates, on the other hand? No, those don’t exist. Humans are dumb, we don’t even deserve soulmates, just get out of here with that, like no.
Cecily: [laughs] you’re not wrong
Ami: Do you see all those TikTok POV videos that are like soulmate AUs? Like no, we don’t deserve soulmates, so get out. Okay, ouch? No I’m not a cynic, I already said that I don’t believe in true love, I just, you have to be very lucky to find it.
Cecily: Yeah but what if you don’t believe in luck?
Ami: Then you’re screwed! I don’t know what to tell you, man. This is just coming from me, that, maybe it’s just-- ‘cos have you seen that Daniel Sloss standup about like, how your life is a jigsaw puzzle? And for some people completing that jigsaw puzzle means finding true love and for other people it’s something else? Right?
Cecily: Right.
Ami: Like for my parents, I’m guessing it was finding each other, because they’re like, ridiculously happy with each other, it’s like literally ridiculous how much, how like, in love they are to this day. Me? I don’t care. I have friends, I have family, I don’t need like, one single romantic partner for the rest of my life. I would rather have a dog. I would legitimately rather have a dog. Right? But I do believe it’s true because I’ve seen it, like I have my parents and they’re fan-, they’re like the prime example of what true love is. Fair? That’s fair, right?
Cecily: Yeah, that’s fair.
Amadea: Yeah.
Cecily: Speaking of finding people, who are your kind of people?
Ami: I- can I say the gays? Imma say the gays.
Amadea: [laughs]
Cecily: Yes, that is a perfectly acceptable answer.
Ami: Who else? Dog people, if you have a dog I automatically like you. If you like Harry Potter, I also automatically like you. If you have cool colored hair, I automatically like you. If your hair’s not natural, I don’t care how bad of a person you are, I will look at you and think you are the hottest person in the room. I’m ridiculously serious! Unnatural hair, for some reason, is so attractive. Just in case anyone was looking to date me - I’m kidding! - please don’t, no.
Cecily: I mean, I don’t really have a kind of people. Like I kind of just fit wherever I am. I just kind of am there. But like, I-- my friend group is like, a lot of people who don’t-- I have a very small friend group, and all of my friends also have a very small friend group, and that’s kind of the vibe.
Ami: So your kind of people are like, maybe, six people in total?
Cecily: I mean, yeah, pretty much. I legitimately have like six friends.
Ami: Am I one of those friends?
Cecily: Yes, Ami, I love you.
Ami: Awww, I love you too.
Amadea: People that are nice? I don’t know. Like-
Cecily: I mean, that’s an acceptable answer.
Amadea: People that contrast me well but also aren’t like so contrasting that like, we wouldn’t get along well.
Cecily: That you can’t find anything in common?
Amadea: Yeah. Because if they’re like, the same as me, that’s just boring.
Ami: So you need like, parallel universe versions of you?
Amadea: [laughs] Sure, yeah.
Ami: No, I think my answer’s the best: the gays, the gays are my type of people.
Amadea: We have found our people, but now we must find the true meaning of life. What gives your life meaning?
Ami: Cecily, Amadea.
Cecily: I think, like, having-- having goals, having something to work towards. So not just, you know, existing and floating around in space time. Yeah.
Ami: Yeah, no, existing? I’m down with existing, but, yeah. I think, like, going back, oh and linking things together, I think going back to the whole causes you support--
Cecily: Right, like what’s important to you?
Ami: Yeah, like that...that gives life meaning. Like these ideals, these values that you want to instill upon the world. And that can be a good or a bad thing and hopefully you have a good moral compass and you do want to put some good out in the world. Cause this is where the whole midlife crisis and how you’re gonna die alone and nothing’s gonna mean anything, right? But then, if you keep in mind like, your causes, the causes that are important to you, the things you support and the changes you want to do, that gives your life meaning. And this is coming from three very young people, we-- who have no business talking about this.
Cecily: You know what, Ami? We can talk about whatever we want to talk about.
Ami: We can, but I feel like, no--
Cecily: We’re not qualified enough to talk about this.
Ami: We’re not qualified.
Amadea: Alright guys, this one’s a very important question. Clowns: yes or no?
Ami: No.
Cecily: I mean, I don’t hate them. I don’t like them, but I don’t hate them. They’re just there. Like, I wouldn’t want one at my birthday party, but like, I’m not scared of them.
Ami: Okay, no to clowns, but, he’s not technically a clown but - who’s the imaginary friend in Inside Out?
Amadea: Oh, oh, oh, oh, Bing Bong or whatever.
Ami: Yeah, Bing Bong? He kind of looks like a clown, so I’m gonna call him a clown. He’s okay. Everyone else is--
Cecily: He’s not a clown!
Ami: Well, he acts like a clown.
Amadea: He’s an imaginary friend.
Ami: He’s an imaginary friend but he looks like a clown, so I’m gonna call him a clown. Oh, him and Pennywise - Pennywise is hot because Bill Skarsgård is objectively hot.
Cecily: Those are two very opposite ends of the clown spectrum, man.
Ami: Okay, well have you-- [laughs] there’s this video of an interview, it’s Jack Dylan Grazer and it’s like, would you rather, something-- eat a can or worms or kiss Pennywise and without hesitation, Jack Dylan Grazer is like, “Kiss Pennywise!” Have you seen Bill Skarsgård? That man is gorgeous.
Cecily: [laughs]
Amadea: I stand by that. I like women but also Bill Skarsgård.
Cecily: Fair.
Ami: So, some clowns. Two clowns in particular, but some clowns. Who thought clowns were a good idea, like legitimately?
Cecily: I don’t know, man.
Ami: Like thought, “this is what the children wanna see when they go out to have fun?” They wanna see a giant man with a red nose.
Cecily: I mean, I don’t know man.
Ami: Alright. What’s our next question?
Cecily: Our next question, also very important: do you believe in ghosts?
Amadea: Yes.
Cecily: That was quick, care to explain? [laughs]
Amadea: I don’t know, I just...do.
Ami: Have you had any ghost encounters?
Amadea: Personally, no, but...my parents have.
Ami: Oooh.
Cecily: Oh, do tell.
Amadea: Well, they just stayed in like a...haunted hotel one time. And, like, the doors would, like, creek and like, the lights kept going on and off and stuff like that. You know-
Cecily: Wild.
Amadea: -all the stereotypical ghost stuff.
Cecily: Ami?
Ami: Cecily? Oh. Cecily, you go first. I’m still thinking about my answer.
Cecily: [laughs] Okay...um, I don’t think I believe in ghosts. Like, I feel like, even if I saw proof, I wouldn’t...believe it. Like, it wouldn’t...I-I don’t know. I just feel like, what are they? Like, they’re nothing. How do they exist? I mean, I don’t believe that you have a soul, which sounds super cynical-
Ami: [laughs] Wow.
Cecily: But, like, not that I’m saying, like, that a concept of a soul is flawed, I’m just saying that I don’t believe it exists. I don’t know what it’s made of so I can’t think about it. So, I don’t - I don’t believe in ghosts because I don’t see how they would exist in like, the physical world.
Ami: Um...I mean, I don’t believe in like, Casper the Friendly Ghost flying around, talking to people...Nearly-Headless Nick...I don’t believe in that, but...I do believe in supernatural beings that are manifestations of dead people, which is the most presumptuous way to say it...legitimately, this is because of The Good Place.
Cecily: [laughs]
Ami: Um… I’m not gonna to spoil it, but it’s literally just...the final episode of The Good Place, the very last scene…that’s-
Amadea: Yeah, I know what…
Ami: -what really made me feel like-
Cecily: You right. Oh, that’s a good point.
Ami: Just, dead people, do have an impact, and it’s not just in the, “Oh I miss my grandmother, she helped raise me” type of way, it’s like...in the, they...they are somewhere, and they are doing something. And...uh, hey dead people, if you’re out there and listening, please fix 2020, um...it’s kind of been a sucky year so far, if you could fix that, that would be nice.
Cecily: That would be delightful-
Amadea: Right?
Cecily: I would really appreciate that.
Amadea: Yes.
Ami: Like...a redo button or something? So… sort of, I sort of believe in ghosts.
Cecily: [laughs]
Ami: Such a cop out answer, it’s fine.
Cecily: Please, different topic-
Ami: Also very important.
Cecily: Also very important: how often do you shower?
Amadea: Honestly, it depends. Normally, when it’s not swim season, every other day. But when it’s swim season, every day. And then...when it’s track season, also every other day. And then...sometimes, I’ll just do something, and I’ll have to take a shower, and it’ll throw off my routine.
Ami: Cecily...
Cecily: Right, like when I’m not doing something, I’ll just do it every other day, because I’m just like, sitting in my basement or something, you know…[laughs] Um, but yeah, but like during soccer or track season, I’ll take one every day, because I’m...out there, doing stuff, getting things done. Being athletic. You know?
Ami: Mhm. So, I take a shower every day out of habit cause my parents, cause they come from a very humid and hot country, where basically you just have to take a shower every day because of the weather. But...when I had long hair, I didn’t...wash my hair every day, because that’s just bad for your scalp, and you’re not supposed to do that. But now I have short hair and it takes five minutes and I don’t care, I just take a shower every day. See? Very important questions, we’re asking the real questions here.
Cecily: That was a super important question. I learned a lot.
Ami: [sighs] I’m scared of this next question, because I’ve gotten injured a lot and I have a lot of stories, but: what’s your favorite story behind one of your injuries? It can be a broken bone, even like a skinned knee, a scar, stitches...
Cecily: One time...when I was, really young. I was...five or something. There was this really rocky beach that we used to go to. And it… it had, like, you know, small rocks, like, that you can go on, but then it had like, massive boulders in some places. So, I was there with my brother and two of my cousins, and we were throwing rocks into water, because, you know, we were young and that was entertaining to us. My brother was climbing up onto one of the rocks, and, like, one of the big rocks, and I...was climbing up, behind him, and he went to throw a rock to me for some reason, I still don’t know why. But he threw the rock to me, and I didn’t see him do it, and it landed on my finger.
Ami: [gasps
Cecily: This...massive rock landed on my finger and it, like, smushed it. And I had to go to the ER. And it was a wild time for sure.
Ami: I really like that you used the word smushed.
Cecily: Yeah, no, it literally smushed it, like it was smushed.
Amadea: I don’t really, I’ve never really broken any bones, like, or anything. Oh wait...I could tell the story about my concussion. But-
Cecily: Oh, this is a good one.
Amadea: But I originally was gonna tell another story about when Cecily was injured, because I think this story is much more entertaining. Um, I was biking with her, and her brother, and my dad. And..um, as one does, it’s very hilly where we live, so we were going down this big hill, and then my dad decided to turn down one of the side streets. So, he turned, and then Cecily’s brother went, and then it was Cecily and then it was me. And so, as Cecily was going to take the turn, her brakes weren’t working on her bike, and she was going fast, like...how fast do you think you were going, like 20 miles per hour maybe?
Cecily: It was pretty-like, I...it was a big hill, and I was zooming. Like, I wasn’t using brakes going down it, so I was sliding down that hill.
Amadea: Yeah. She was-
Ami: She was zoomin’.
Cecily: I was zoomin’.
Amadea: And so, she tried to make the turn, but there was also some sand on the road, you know, they put this sand down in the winter and it just like collects there in the summer. And so she flew off the side of the road-
Ami: [gasps] Oh no!
Cecily: [laughs
Amadea: She smacked her face on a tree-
Cecily: I blacked out for like, three seconds. So I remember, like, looking at the trees and going down into them and then I remember just like lying in the leaves.
Amadea: Yeah, I just heard like a smack. And then I was like, oh my God, are you okay? And then I had to like, leave her there for a second, because like, my dad and her brother had gone down far in the street at that point, and they...I was like, yelling at them to come back and we had to bandage her up...it was so funny. [laughing]
Cecily: [laughing My bike was fine. My bike was perfectly functional except for the brakes that were broken.
Amadea: I wish...I wish I was filming that moment, because it-it was just like, I was just chillin’, watching us go down the hill and then like, suddenly she’s just gone.
Cecily: I still don’t even...like I don’t even… I think I might have like bruised my finger, but I might have like broken my nose but I still don’t know for sure, because I didn’t like do anything about it, I just went home and like, I was like, “Yeah, that happened.” And that was it.
Ami: Oh my goodness!
Cecily: That was quite the eventful afternoon. Ami-
Ami: Um…
Cecily: Go.
Ami: I’m trying to decide...which one of these is legitimately interesting, because one of these is just funny in concept but the story itself isn’t funny. The other one is a wild story, so...I’m tempted to...
Cecily: You can tell the funny concept—
Ami: Oh.
Cecily: —and then you can tell the wild story.
Ami: Yeah... so, when I was 3, um... you know those baby gates you put on the stairs?
Cecily: Yeah.
Ami: My parents didn't believe in those. After— 'cos I have an older brother and a younger brother, so after my older brother, they were like... "Yeah, no. Baby gates? Dumb." Um... I was a clumsy child, so when I was 3, I tripped over the stairs, fell down the stairs, did a couple like, schlep schlep schlep— it was like, maybe, five steps, I’m really exaggerating here. So basically I tripped and I fell down the stairs. And I sat there for about 20 minutes, and my dad came over, and he’s like “Hey, uh you good there champ?” and I was like “I fell down the stairs.” And he goes, “You okay?” and I’m like “... yeah”. Turns out, it wasn’t okay? Because turns out, I actually broke my collarbone and just… didn’t cry at all? So, I was like— I would like— apparent— I— this is what I heard from like, my aunt. I would hold my arm and not let anyone touch my arm ‘cos I always said— I said it would hurt. And then my parents were like, “What’s wrong with it?” and I’d go “I don’t know, it just hurts”. So they- [giggling] finally took me to the ER. So it turns out, I had broken my collarbone. So that’s the most metal thing I’ve ever done.
Cecily: That’s pretty… epic.
Ami: Yeah… But the funnier story is… There was this girl. At my summer camp. Who I really wanted to impress by being like, super manly. So… I was like “I’m gonna jump over this fence… because I’m me”. Except it was like a low, garden fence so I thought it wouldn’t be that hard, it would be like “Oh, look at me jump this, I’m parkour, I’m so manly”... And so, I jumped. But the thing is, I didn’t realize— ‘cos they did— they did like the metal stakes, and then the chicken wire, and then the rubber caps on top of the metal stakes so you didn’t scrape yourself ‘cos it’s a bunch of idiot 8-year-olds in this summer camp. [pauses for dramatic effect] Didn’t realize that there wasn’t a rubber cap on one of the stakes, ‘cos it just fell off or something. Or like a squirrel ate it. So I decided to jump over that single stake that didn’t have a rubber cap, and I got a giant freaking scar across my entire knee—
Cecily: [audible sigh]
Ami: —and I tripped, fell on my face, and immediately started crying. Because like, ow. And so that’s why you never do things for love, kids. I know. I— I get injured a lot.
Cecily: I think— that’s pretty wild. I think Amadea should tell the story of her concussion.
Amadea: Oh boy.
Cecily: ‘Cos that’s a good one.
Amadea: Okay, so… I was in Ski Club with Cecily and then one of our other friends. So, they like to go super fast and just… speed down and that’s just really not my style, sometimes. Like, I like to go fast but… but they go fast to the point where it’s like, the elements take over, y’know?
Cecily: WH— no, I’m in control!
Amadea: Sure you are.
Cecily: Leave me alone!
Ami: [laughing]
Cecily: Dude, have I ever crashed into someone? No.
Amadea: YES. You’ve crashed into the bench, you’ve crashed into the—
Cecily: Okay, but that was because I legitimately did not know how to ski. That was literally my first time ever skiing. So leave me alone.
Amadea: Okay. Anyway. They were far ahead of me. And so I was just chillin’. Goin’ down, and then, there was this giant group of skiers that comes by me. And one of them...sticks their pole out like a chicken—
Ami: Oh no—
Amadea: —like a chicken. And so I swerved to avoid it, naturally, because I didn’t wanna get impaled. And then— and then I like swerved, and then I went into this other skier’s path kinda—
Ami: audible gasp
Amadea: —and then his skis went over mine, so I couldn’t like—
Ami: Oh no!
Amadea: —do anything because my skis were like, trapped underneath his… and then I fell and just tumbled, for like...twenty feet, maybe.
Ami: Oh no…
Amadea: And then I landed, and I was like, “ow.” And then I skied down the rest of the hill, somehow, after just like, laying there for a minute.
[laughter]
Amadea: Cecily and our other friend were like, “Oh my gosh what happened?” All I remember is Cecily kept telling me, “I think you have a concussion.” And then—
Ami: Oop—
Amadea: She was explaining how, like, her brother has had a concussion, and he had to, like, stay...in a dark room, and I just remember going, “But I don’t wanna lie immobile in a dark room!”
Cecily: [intense laughter]
Amadea: [giggling] And that’s...all I remember.
Cecily: Yeah, you really— you denied it for like, fifteen minutes, and then we had to get the teacher and...force it upon you. Because you definitely had a concussion. [laughter]
Ami: Aww, that’s so… I don’t know if I should be sad about it ‘cos it’s honestly kinda funny? Alright, so… in your friend group, what role do you play? This is gonna be mostly for you two, because you two are like, legitimately friends, out of character and like, outside of site, and you know each other in real life.
Cecily: You put this one in my, uh, Headliner interview.
Ami: I did.
Cecily: You did.
Ami: It’s not out yet, don’t spoil it, geez--
*editor’s note: it’s been out for several weeks now, actually.
Cecily: I’m not— well, I have to give the same answer, or else…
Ami: No! One of them was in-character, I think.
Cecily: No, you gave me the out of character.
Ami: Oh. Oh. My bad.
Cecily: Well— so you get a sneak-peek at my Headliner.
Ami: Wow.
Cecily: Um... yeah. So I said I was the cynic. Which is true.
Ami: And you called me a cynic? Wowww.
Cecily: I did call you a cynic. But like, I’m also a cynic. So...it’s fine.
Ami: Takes one to know one.
Cecily: Exactly!
Ami: Okay, so, Amadea...what role do you play?
Amadea: I don’t know… what role I am. I just kind of exist.
[laughter]
Ami: Okay, well, uh… you don’t seem like a mom friend to me, just…
Amadea: No, I’m definitely—
Cecily: Definitely not.
Ami: But you’re definitely not the rebellious teenager who constantly gets into trouble.
Cecily: ...nope.
Ami: Are you...are you the...mmmm...no, ‘cos I feel like— what I know of your friend group, they’re all pretty, like, into the activist stuff, right?
Cecily: Yeah… we’re kind of all the same.
Amadea: Yeah—
Cecily: Not gonna lie.
Ami: [groans] And you can’t even be the theater nerd! Because you’re friends with Cecily! You’re both theater nerds!
Cecily: Because I’m the theater nerd!
Ami: You’re the cynic, you already said this! You—
Amadea: I think… I think you would be the theater nerd more— over the cynic.
Cecily: I disagree but alright.
Ami: Maybe…
Cecily: Theater nerd is ninety percent of my personality so I’ll take it.
Amadea: Yeah!
Ami: Now I’m determined to give you a role, you know that right?
Amadea: Okay, just keep listing them, and I’ll tell you if one...
Ami: I don’t think you’re the art—
Amadea: No…
Ami: Um, let’s see. Who’s— Who— Who’s— You’re— mmm, you don’t seem like the music nerd, like the band geek or the orchestra… head…
Amadea: I feel like—
Cecily: That’s our entire friend group—
Amadea: —we’re all equal.
Cecily: —is music nerds.
Amadea: Yeah. We are.
Ami: Ugh, jeez, of course you are.
Cecily: [laughter]
Ami: But, at the same time you don’t give me jock energy.
Amadea: ...Yeah not really.
Ami: So you’re not the art girl, you’re not… are you the book nerd?
Amadea: No…? We all are!
Cecily: Yeah, we’re all book nerds.
Ami: sigh of intense, soul-crushing frustration Why is your friend group, like, the same person?
Cecily: I mean— basically. She’s like, the one that encompasses everything in our friend group. She’s the average one.
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: spits out water
Cecily: No shade, we love you Amadea.
Ami: Yeah. Okay. I think I’ve told you guys like, who I am in my friend group but like, if you guys had to guess… who do you think I’d be.
Cecily: The gay.
Ami: Fair, but besides that.
Cecily: I don’t know, that seems like ninety percent of your personality.
Ami: Thank you, thank you.
Cecily: You’re welcome.
Ami: No, that’s fair. ‘Cos you know how every movie has the token gay friend but then there’s the rebuttal on Tumblr where it’s like, “gays flock together”? No. No one in my friend group is— not— not even like bi. As far as I’m aware.
Cecily: Everyone in our friend group is gay.
Ami: Right, exactly—
Cecily: I mean, some sort of gay. Except for one of them. [laughs]
Ami: Right! All of my friends are the straightest people you’ve ever met. Like, you know those— if you’re still in school, if you know those, like, super pretty girls who always post bikini pictures, and like, go to cool places and use like, weird VSCO filters on all their Instagram pictures? Yeah, those are my friends.
[laughter]
Cecily: That is not the crowd I thought you’d be running with.
Ami: Same! Same. I blame… my personality, because of the internet. ‘Cos I spend the most time on the internet, out of all of us. Just objectively. Just, I do. Not— excluding school or whatever, I spend the most time… trolling the internet. [laughter] I don’t troll the internet, don’t take it like that. I am the jock, I am the gay, I am… no. I’m not the mom friend. I can’t be the mom friend. But unfortunately, I have to pretend to be the mom friend. Because my friend group is a disaster. Basically… I hang out with the weirdest crowd of people you’ve ever met, and you would not expect me to be friends with them. Oh! Yeah, no. Think of the person you hate most at your school, and then think of their weird quiet friend that no one understands why they’re friends with.
[laughter]
Ami: That’s me. That’s legitimately me.
Cecily: Wow.
Ami: I know.
Ami: This is a very important question, and I think, I think the three of us agree. Do you like the rain.
Cecily: Yes.
Amadea: Yes.
Cecily: I love the rain.
Ami: Yes. Okay. We’re all—
Cecily: You know that Langston Hughes poem? That’s my vibe. I vibe with that poem. I love it so much.
Ami: Is he the guy who wrote about the raisins?
Cecily: The raisins?
Ami: Or maybe it was like… the dreams? I can’t remember author names. Is this the guy that like— this was like, during Harlem… what’s it called, Harlem Renaissance, right?
Cecily: Yeah, he definitely wrote about… dreams. I remember— I read one of his poems in English.
Ami: I have no idea— okay, so. Rain. Okay, do we like… thunderstorms?
Amadea: Yes.
Cecily: Absolutely. I love thunderstorms. Ten out of ten. I have like a massive, glass sliding door that goes out onto a porch, and I’ll literally just sit there in front of it and watch thunderstorms.
Ami: I want a porch— I wanna have a porch! Why does Cecily get a porch? I want a porch!
Cecily: It’s actually a deck— I don’t— did I say porch? It’s a deck.
Ami: You definitely said porch.
Cecily: It— It’s a deck. [laughs] Not a porch. Dude, I— like, dream house, my dream house would have a wrap-around porch. I love porches. They’re delightful.
Ami: Dude, yeah.
Ami: What’s your favorite board game? This is also very important.
Cecily: I don’t— I don’t have a favorite board game. I don’t play a lot of board games.
Amadea: I like Settlers of Catan.
Ami: Good choice.
Cecily: I mean, legitimately, the only board games I ever play are like… Monopoly and… Trivial Pursuit. And even those I, like, never play.
Ami: I feel like Cecily here definitely— you definitely give me, like Scrabble vibes.
Cecily: [gasps] I love playing Scrabble. You’re right, that’s it. Scrabble is so much fun. I play Words With Friends because no one will play Scrabble with me.
Ami: Oh my gosh, of course you play Words With Friends. I should get that, shouldn’t I?
Cecily: Do it.
Ami: Okay—
Cecily: I’ll play against you, I’ll be your one friend.
Ami: [snorts] You will beat me, every time, because I’m terrible at English.
Cecily: I’ll go easy on you. You can cheat on me. [laughs]
Ami: I can cheat on you? Oh, this is gonna be great. Find out next episode whether or not Ami or Cecily won… Okay, ummm, my favorite board game, by far, is this really niche… Sherlock Holmes board game that is basically Clue. Um, but… it’s… there’s a limited amount of cases, like they actually give you a case file, they tell you what you need to figure out. It’s so much fun, because my family is ultra-competitive, and for that reason I also like Clue. Except Clue’s gotten too easy at this point, like, I’m way too good at Clue. Which sounds like bragging but I swear it’s not. And Monopoly! I’m like super competitive at Monopoly. Basically I’m really competitive, but I pretend that I’m not, because it… scares people. [laughs] That’s like, your whole take away from this.
Cecily: Wow.
Ami: Yeah.
Cecily: Alright. Good times.
Ami: So... do you like su-- did you like that, do you like surprises? I’m a frickin genius.
[laughter]
Cecily: Wow. That was-- that was the perfect segue.
[more laughter]
Amadea: I feel like I do, it’s just that half the time I don’t know...that it’s a surprise.
[intense wheezing]
Ami: WH-
Cecily: What?! Please elaborate--
Amadea: Like-- okay so, I’ve had... two surprise parties in my life--
Cecily: Oh my god, I was at one of them!
Amadea: The first one was, um, with like, my relatives, and so I’d just like gone down to the basement to get something, and I’d come back up and there was, like, a cake and everyone was wearing party hats, and-- it was like , we were visiting them like maybe a month after my birthday, because, we couldn’t see them-- like, we were all busy. So I came upstairs and I was like “oh my gosh, whose birthday is it?”
Ami: [laughs]
Amadea: And they were like-- “Amadea... it’s yours.” [laughs] And I was like, “oh....” And then, the second time it happened was this year-- Cecily was there-- and I just kinda walked in, and I was just like “oh... there’s people”--
Cecily: And there were just like, three of us sitting around her kitchen table...
[wheezing]
Amadea: Yeah, I was just like-- I feel like... I don’t... react in a normal way. I’m just like “Oh.. you’re there.”
Ami: [dying]
Cecily: I can vouch, that’s pretty much verbatim what she said.
[laughter]
Ami: Cecily... do you like surprises?
Cecily: I guess so, I mean sure. Like, I guess.
Ami: [wheezes]
Cecily: I-- I- I don’t know why I don’t have a good answer for this. Sure. I enjoy surprises. I like knowing things, but I guess I also enjoy surprises. Do you like surprises?
Ami: I hate surprises. With every bone in my body, and it’s ‘cos I’m a control freak. I can’t stand surprises, I’m like, “you didn’t tell--” I literally have to know what people are getting me for my birthday. Which is ridiculous, it’s like-- it counteracts the entire point of like, birthday presents or whatever. And so--
Cecily: I’m gonna get you a surprise birthday present and you can’t stop me.
Ami: Do you have the money for that?
Cecily: I don’t know-- I’ll just get you, like, I don’t know, I’ll write you a reply and send it to you. That’ll be your surprise present.
Ami: Oh my goodness, yes. Or you can send me a single stick of gum.
Cecily: [laughing] And that’ll be it, that’s all I can afford.
Ami: Perfect. Alright. Alright guys, this is the ultimate get-to-know-you question, okay? What are the pros and cons of being your roommate?
Cecily: Okay. I’ll-- I guess I’ll bite on this one. Um, pros: I’m... pretty neat. I... can cook things. Like, that’s kind of a big pro. I will cook food for you. Cons: I... don’t like people.
Ami: [wheezing]
Cecily: Like, I can’t deal with people. I’m bad at talking to people. I... like, if you snore, I will fight you. And that’s that on that.
Ami: Okay, noted... Cecily does not like snoring.
Cecily: Dude, I can’t fall asleep anyway, nevermind when people are making noise.
Ami: Pros and cons of being your roommate?
Amadea: Um...
Ami: This is your roommate application.
Amadea: Let’s see. Pro, I’ll decorate it pretty.
Ami: That’s fair that’s fair.
Cecily: True. My mother-- when my dad used to flip houses, my mother would stage them so it looked pretty nice. And I picked up some things, so I will make your room look gosh-darn amazing.
Amadea: Yay, also, I... can cook things too, and bake things, so I could do that. I feel like I’m pretty good at listening, if you need me to like, hear your problems, y’know. Like a roommate would. Um, cons: I’m... not the neatest person on the planet. I... sometimes talk in my sleep? Apparently?
Ami: Oh...
Amadea: According to my dad.
Ami: Really?
Cecily: [laughs]
Amadea: Also, if there was any... instance where we had to share a bed, I move a lot in my sleep, so I will kick and punch you.
Cecily: That would be... yeah. If we had to share a bed, that would be pretty bad. Because I take a really long time to fall asleep, and I like toss and turn a lot during-- like, once I’m asleep I’m fine, but like, leading up to that it’s not good.
Ami: Is-- wait, no is that-- is that a thing? Do roommates have to share beds?
Cecily & Amadea: No.
Ami: Okay. Sweet.
Cecily: [laughs]
Ami: ‘Cos I was gonna be like yeah-- I-- no. You do not want to share a bed with me. I-- I do the same thing as-- [strange noise] both of you. I don’t talk in my sleep, but I do-- I don’t-- I don’t fall asleep really easily, and I also kick and punch and toss and turn.
Cecily: Okay, if we ever go somewhere, you two are sharing a bed, and I’ll get the single bed.
Ami: Oh my god...
Amadea: So we’ll be punching each other in our sleep.
Cecily: Yeah because-- we went on a band trip once to Virginia Beach, and there were four people to a room, and like two king-sized beds in each room, so you would have to share with one other person. So, me and my roommates, we put the two people who kicked in one bed, and then the two people who didn’t in the other bed, so... the first night, we went to bed. We were supposed to get a wake-up call in the morning, like through the hotel phone in our room.
Ami: Right.
Cecily: So our chaperone comes in, expecting to find us, like, awake, and getting ready. She comes in, we’re all still fast asleep because in the middle of the night, one of the people in the bed had flailed and knocked the phone off the hook. In their sleep. So we never got the call.
Ami: Ohh, that’s--
Cecily: It was a really good time.
Ami: Alright. I’m just gonna give you like, a-- a very quick overview: I’d be a terrible roommate, I already know this. Uh, I hear it from my mother at least five times a day, but, let’s see, pros? Okay, not to be like “heh heh heh heh look at how fat my wallet is” but I do work a lot, which does mean that I do have money, which means... you will never have t oworry about paying rent. If you, like, that’s just one of like-- something-- I am financially stable. Like, even, like right now, I am financially stable. I could move out, by myself, if I wanted to right now. I don’t! Because I like my mom’s cooking. But y’know. Um, let’s see. I... coming from an IT family, I will be able to get us the fastest WiFi possible. Um... that’s, I think, pretty important. I will help you with your homework no matter what time of night or d-- actually, if it’s before 8 am don’t ask me for help with your homework. But if it’s at like 3 am, I will happily help you with your homework. Um... cons, there’s a very long list. I can’t cook, I can’t do laundry... I can do the dishes, but I don’t know how to use a dishwasher, so I hand wash dishes. Um, I hate cleaning, I am also extremely messy, I stay up until ungodly hours of the morning, and... I... have a lot of make-up stuff, so that will eventually take over the entire bathroom. Look at that list! I’m a terrible roommate. No, I--
Cecily: You are a terrible roommate.
Ami: I haven’t been raised to do anything. I can’t cook, I can’t clean, I can’t do laundry... I’m like, sort of okay at folding clothes but that’s about it.
Cecily: Man, I have a- a scar on my hand from when I burned myself making mac ‘n’ cheese when I was like five.
Ami: Oh my goodness. Yeah, I think the only thing that I can make is applesauce. And I can make a pretty good smoothie. And that’s... pretty much it.
Cecily: I mean, I could live on smoothies and apple-- no, I couldn’t. I couldn’t.
Ami: I can’t.
Cecily: I definitely couldn’t.
Ami: You cannot. I’ve tried, you can’t.
[laughter]
Ami: So, yeah. Um, if you want dope WiFi and a Costco membership and... money... but you have to do everything else... I’d be a great roommate for you.
Cecily: Ami and I will come in a pair.
Ami: [laughs]
Cecily: And together, we will be the ultimate roommate.
Ami: [laughing] Buy one, get one.
[wheezing]
Ami: And then we get the bonus of Amadea too because hey, we can’t just have two of us.
Cecily: That’s true. We come in a package. We’re a package deal.
Ami: Oh my goodness. Um--
Cecily: And that’s-- that’s all we got.
Ami: Oh, we got plugs though. We always got plugs.
Cecily: We do got plugs. To start off, “Headliner aaaaaah Headliner.”
Ami: Headliner! Read the Headliner. There’s no issues being released as of this recording. Um, there’s a bonus issue being released, but you can read that if you want, it doesn’t really matter. Well--
Cecily: But-- read that. Because Ami put a lot of work into it. [laughs]
Ami: So did the rest of the team. But in September, we’re planning an epic back-to-school issue to help all the newcomers, to even help like returning players, to help people ease into Hogwarts... lifestyle... y’know? So check that out, look for that in September, it’s gonna be freaking epic. Check out the Chess Combat games, because the duelling team worked so hard on developing the system. They’re great--
Cecily: They’re pretty cool, they’re pretty cool to watch.
Ami: They’re wild. I will admit, the... the Chess Combat game 3 is, in my opinion, the best, because they’re the most ridiculous players ever, ‘cos it’s-- those are the people who have fleshed out their character enough to make them act like idiots? In my opinion.
Amadea: My favorite part of that game is where Adam-- [giggles] Adam dodges, but he has nothing to dodge.
Cecily: [laughing] Is making evasive maneuvers at nothing.
[laughter]
Cecily: Anyway, there’s some quality-- quality things in that, so go check it out.
Ami: Right. Right. Now this is my plug, because I read this thread and I could not stop. This next plug-- thread-- is a thread that I could not stop laughing reading it. It’s called “Teasing and Translations”, it’s with Margo White and Ruby Cazares, except Ruby is using her Durmstrang NPC Vyacheslav Preobrazhensky-- I totally butchered that, but I practiced twice.
[laughter]
Ami: Um, it’s a little cute love thread between Margo and Slava, and basically they’re trying to “teach”-- in quotes-- they’re teaching each other insults but they’re really not, so Margo will be like “Oh, um... I love your mom, actually is the meanest insult you’ll ever hear,” right? Or like-- something like that, at it-- it’s so cute, it’s one of those feel-good threads where you read it and you’re like “this is what love is supposed to be.” Because like, it’s not like the “oh my god, we’re both really broken people, and we deserve each other and we’re soulmates,” like no. This is what love is supposed to be, it’s supposed to be two ridiculous people complimenting each other. So I definitely-- that’s like, a prime example of like, a lovey-dovey thread at this stage.
Cecily: It’s true love.
Ami: Also, if you’re... I have no idea when this is gonna be released, but if summer camp is still happening [editor’s note: it’s not because we suck] but if you’re looking for a tent, Annie Morgan, our wonderful Hufflepuff Prefect, she created a thread called “Welcome to Summer Camp” and it’s just unfortunately for incoming Hufflepuffs, but if you’re a first-year and you’re looking for a tent, hop on in, Annie is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met... and it’s gonna be a wild time.
Ami: Alright, next up is our featured club, uh, we randomly pick a club because no one’s reached out to us yet, [laughing] and, um--
Cecily: We haven’t even published an issue yet, Ami.
Amadea: Oh yeah...
Ami: Okay, yeah but-- that’s technicalities, whatever, pfft. Um, so I decided to pick this club called-- I don’t know how to say this, is it “aura”?
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: Aura?
Cecily: Yeah.
Ami: It stands for “Advocating Understanding, Respect, and Altruism” and it’s run by Flash Holmwood, Willow Anderson, and Lydia Cooper, who-- which is like-- that’s like, the coolest trio ever, like-- it’s like to Golden Trio but they’re not as angsty, basically. [laughs] It’s basically like a group therapy session, because, uh, here on Hogwarts.io, we put our characters through a lot, mentally. If I had to go through that mentally... I would have a mental breakdown. I’d be like “What the heck is happening?” Well, if your student is going through a mental breakdown... hop on over to an AURA meeting, their first meeting is September 5th, 2020 [editor’s note: again, come and gone because we suck], uh, it’s gonna be a wild time. I think that’s legitimately a club that we need, like, we really do need, like a counseling service. Um...
Cecily: For our angsty, edgy little... students.
Ami: Right exactly. Do we have an outro yet?
Amadea: No.
Ami: Did we have an outro last time? We’re-- we’re slowly coming up with an outro, guys.
Amadea: We should have like, a--
Cecily: We don’t have an outro, we... legitimately don’t have an outro.
Ami: Oh...
Amadea: We have a signature sign-off.
Ami: A signature sign-off?
Cecily: Do we? Keep slurping?
Ami: Keep slurpin’!
Amadea: Keep on slurpin’.
[wheezing]
Ami: Keep shlurpin’.
[various “shlurp” noises continue in background]
Amadea: If you have any ideas of good-- if you have any ideas of good outros... let us know.
Cecily: Oh, also if you wanna be a guest, hit us up--
Ami: We always need more guests.
Cecily: We always need more guests, we always need more episode ideas, so if you have something you wanna hear us ramble about for an hour, let us know.
Ami: [gasps] If you listened all the way to the end, um...
Amadea: Oh right, you do--
Ami: Um, you should DM us-- what can they DM us?
Amadea: Tell us your favorite question, and then answer it.
Ami: Yeah. We’d love to know--
Cecily: It doesn’t have to be a long answer, it can just be like one sentence, but yeah. Just, have fun--
Ami: Well, okay. Some of them-- some of them need long answers. You can’t be like ,”do you--” what was it, “how many times--” “How often do you shower?” “No.”
[intense laughter]
Cecily: Well- okay, but you could just say like, every other day or like, every day for that. That’s-- So um, I dunno, you can also just DM us just to say “hi”, our DMs are always open--
Ami: Oh, please do. Yes.
Amadea: Yeah I love... talking
Cecily: We love hearing from people, I love it when people talk to me because no one talks to me... ever, so like--
Ami: I talk to you!
Cecily: I dunno, talk to me.
Ami: Hey, I talk to you--
Amadea: Also, if you’ve made it this far--
Cecily: You talk to me, that’s about it.
Amadea: If you made it this far, you are now required to send us a song recommendation.
Ami: Oh, yes, please.
Cecily: Oh yeah, do that.
Amadea: It can be just one, it could be... a thousand.
Ami: You could give us a whole playlist, I’d love a playlist.
Amadea: Yeah. But that is your requirement.
Ami: That’s your homework.
Amadea: Yeah, that’s--
Cecily: Send it to me--
Amadea: Y’know, last time it was write a love note to someone.
Cecily: --because I’m putting it into a playlist.
Amadea: Send us your recommendations.
Cecily: Yeah. Or-- also, check out our Spotifys, because they’re pretty-- they’re pretty fire.
Ami: Mmm, you have a nice Spotify.
Amadea: Yeah-- check out Cecily’s, but... don’t check out mine--
Ami: Dea--
Amadea: Otherwise you will know...my name.
Cecily: Also, if you’re looking for song recs, I do-- I think I’ve already talked about this, but I do have a playlist--
Ami: Right.
Cecily: Every time people DM me a song recommendation, I put them in there, so... you can go check it out. It’s called “recs”, it just-- it’s just there.
Ami: [laughing] So original.
Cecily: So, check it out, I guess...
Ami: Alright.
Cecily: And that’s all we got.
Ami: That’s all we got!
Cecily: Keep slurpin’.
Amadea: Keep-- alright, peace out everyone.
⛾ TEATIME ⛾
episode three
================= ============================================================
a christmas par-tea
-Welcome back and Merry Christmas, you wonderful parallelograms! While everyone on the Teatime Team has been busy livin' life to the fullest this year, we wanted to do something a little extra special for our Corona Christmas. And so, we present to you, our two-song Holiday EP! ...or, whatever this is. Thank you for tuning in and listening, and a special thank you to our team who helps make this possible in the first place. Happy Holidays, and stay safe!
- @Stanley Buttons for the art!
- Mariah Carey for existing
- All of you, for listening
All I Want for Christmas
Cecily:
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you, yeah
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
And I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas Day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
You, baby
Ami:
Girl, originally on my list this year
I asked for clothes, a car, some cash, and maybe a new phone
But now you're in my life, I'm seein' oh so clear
Now all I want for Christmas is to call you my own
I probably seem like an idiot daydreaming all day
But don't you know it's you who's got me feeling this way?
Reciprocity is the optimal result, I hope ya like me too
'Cos baby didn't you hear that all I want for Christmas is you?
Cecily:
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do?
Baby, all I want for Christmas is you
You, baby
Oh, all the lights are shining so brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa, won't you bring me the one I really need?
Won't you please bring my baby to me?
Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just wanna see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh, I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby, all I want for Christmas... is you
You, baby
All I want for Christmas is you, baby
All I want for Christmas is you, baby
All I want for Christmas is you, baby
All I want for Christmas is you, baby
All I want for Christmas is you, baby
12 Days of Zoommas - inspired by/based on 12 Days of Christmas by Bob and Doug McKenzie
1: a coke (coca-cola)
2: two turtlenecks
3: three french toast
4: four pounds of backbacon
5: five golden ukes
6: six two-by-fours
7: seven packs of (butter)beer
8: eight comic books
9: nine mugs of tea
10: ten lauras leaping
11: eleven…. eleven???
12: twelve parallelograms
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
stamina: 7 | evasion: 15 | strength: 21 | wisdom: 6 | arcane power: 3 | accuracy: 25
martial artist | spell spread | animagus
stamina: 7 | evasion: 15 | strength: 21 | wisdom: 6 | arcane power: 3 | accuracy: 25
martial artist | spell spread | animagus
⛾ TEATIME ⛾
Serious inquiries only. If interested, contact Cecily Quinn or Ami Procoppio through owl or Discord.
Job responsibilities include editing audio, helping plan episodes, and uploading audio.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
stamina: 7 | evasion: 15 | strength: 21 | wisdom: 6 | arcane power: 3 | accuracy: 25
martial artist | spell spread | animagus
stamina: 7 | evasion: 15 | strength: 21 | wisdom: 6 | arcane power: 3 | accuracy: 25
martial artist | spell spread | animagus
⛾ TEATIME ⛾
episode four
================= ============================================================
adam harringtom traumatized my parents
-The story of this EP begins with Ami sitting at her desk, missing her friends and listening to Head and the Heart. Frustrated with how short the song was, she rewrote it instead of working on her college applications. Five months later, Cecily flew to Ami's house to attend a KAHAN-CERT and record an EP featuring that fateful rewrite. Whilst recording, Ami's parents (the real ones) came home and told a rollercoaster of a tale about how one of her classmates traumatized them. In lieu of doxxing said classmate, we've decided to throw Adam under the bus because it was his birthday two days ago, and we love him. Enjoy!
seen above: tessa, ami's dog, aka best girl and emotional supportthank you:
- [REDACTED] for traumatizing Ami's parents
- Adam Harringtom, in advance, for pretending to traumatize Ami's parents
- Noah Kahan, for being the Jewish Ed Sheeran and Folk Malone
- Ed Sheeran, for being the redheaded Noah Kahan
- All of you, for listening
ReducioTracklist:
1. Rivers and Roads (Rewritten) - Head and the Heart
2. False Confidence - Noah Kahan
3. Photograph - Ed Sheeran [Ami]
4. Come Over - Noah Kahan [Cecily]
5. Take Me to Church - Hozier [Outtakes]
6. Riptide - Vance Joy [Outtakes]
7. American Pie - Don McLean [Outtakes]
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
stamina: 7 | evasion: 15 | strength: 21 | wisdom: 6 | arcane power: 3 | accuracy: 25
martial artist | spell spread | animagus
stamina: 7 | evasion: 15 | strength: 21 | wisdom: 6 | arcane power: 3 | accuracy: 25
martial artist | spell spread | animagus
⛾ TEATIME ⛾
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀the slurping never stops!
================= ============================================================
( •ω• )
(☕٩ )੭
are you ready to steep, slurp, and spill?
-Hello you lovely, sexy parallelograms! Did you think you had heard the last from the holy trinity? Well, if that is the case you thought wrong! I'm going to let you in on a little secret: Teatime™ has been hard at work putting together some...special surprises. If you're thinking revival of Teatime...YOU WOULD BE RIGHT. We're coming back, baby. But, while we're working on an extra special episode for our lovely listeners, we are taking inspiration from the queen herself, Taylor Swift, and putting out some vault episodes to quench your desire while we perfect the new episode. What are vault episodes? Well, I'm so glad you asked! These episodes are a set of episodes that we filmed a veryyyy long time ago (like back in the height of Teatime in 2020) but they never got edited. Well, we have decided to finish production on them and put them out for you. Some of them might even include super secret special guests from HiO 2020...I'll leave you with that bit of spoiler information and let you stew in your excitement. Of course, it would just be cruel to tease all of this without giving you anything...so here's a snippet of what the first vault episode entails:
ReducioAmi: I– I mean, I– what if it’s like, a lake?
Amadea: Um, “what do I most fear?”
Ami: Oh yeah—
Cecily: It’s the sea, Ami—
Ami: She said sea.
Cecily: It’s the sea.
Amadea: Um, fire… darkness. Isolation—
Ami: Wait—
Cecily: Wait, what? What is the question?!
Amadea: [laughing] Oh, wait, did I forget to say that? Okay—
Cecily: Fire, darkness, isolation??
Now that the tea has been properly steeped, the only thing left from us is to spill the timeline. The first few vault episodes coming out will be minisodes, so not as long as a typical Teatime podcast episode. You can expect the first one to be dropping at the beginning of next week, and two more following that before our triumphant return. I hope you all are as excited as we are. Please reach out with any suggestions or questions you have about the podcast; we are always looking for helpful and constructive feedback. Lastly, as Teatime is making a comeback, we are looking to do a slight rebrand. The art we commissioned for the Teatime logo from Lizzie Verdine is absolutely stunning and we love her to death, but as we are now 3 years in to this podcast, we are looking to put out a new brand with our revival. If you are an artist and are interested in working with the TEA-m, please feel free to reach out and send us some examples of art and we will be happy to explain our vision to you. Again, we are so excited to be making a triumphant return and we cannot wait to share our crazy episodes with you. To our old parallelograms: thank you for sticking around if you have! It has been one long, crazy ride and we are endlessly grateful for all of you. To the new parallelograms: welcome!! We're so glad you're here. We hope that you enjoy Teatime so much. With that, I hope you all have a marvelous rest of your day/night. This is Amadea of the TEA-m signing off.
⛾ TEATIME ⛾
Transcript:
- Stanley Buttons for the current Teatime art
- All of you wonderful listeners
- Dorion Anderson, Podcast Gremlin
ReducioTranscript!
Ami: You seem so distressed right now!
Amadea: I hate choicessss!
Cecily: Oh my God, heads or tails!?
[intro music plays]
Adam: Get ready… because it’s time to steep, slurp, and spill! Welcome to Teatime with Cecily, Amadea, and Ami.
[intro music keeps playing, then fades out; automated voice says ‘here is your host’]
Ami: What’s up guys, welcome back to Teatime!
Cecily: Wooo
Amadea: Yeah!
Ami: The best podcast ever. Um… no, that’s a stretch. So, today—
Amadea: It is the best podcast ever.
Cecily: I don’t agree, I’m personally a fan of The Anthropocene Reviewed—
Ami: Oh my goodness.
Amadea: Okay—
Cecily: The podcast by John Green.
Ami: Nerrrrd, get out nerd. Okay, I’m kidding, BUT, we’re gonna be taking Pottermore tests. Um, we are pre-recording a bunch of— I’m— I’m just gonna admit it outright, we’re pre-recording a bunch of episodes cos we are busy busy busy people during the school year, so chances are you’ll be hearing this in, like, December when it’s like, August.
[editor’s note: August of 2020]
Ami: And that is fine. What we’re gonna do is we’re gonna take the tests, and then… yeah, that’s pretty much it, I guess. Um, do we have any predictions upfront?
Amadea: I feel like I’m gonna get Hufflepuff, because the last time I took it I got Hufflepuff!
Ami: Okay.
Cecily: I feel like we’re all gonna get the same thing we got last time. But it’ll be exciting!
Ami: Yeah. I already took it pretty recently because I had to prove to Cecily that I actually was a Hufflepuff—
Cecily: For the record, I think she’s a Gryffindor.
Ami: In spite of what she thinks I am. I mean, someti– I– I definitely act, I think I act like a Gryffindor, but my principles and moral values better align— look at all these big words I’m using!— they better align with the Hufflepuffs. But hey, there is diversity within the houses, all houses are great, um, I have nothing against any of the houses personally.
Amadea: Okay, do you want me to go first?
Ami: Yeah, let’s have Amadea go first.
Amadea: Okay, I’m gonna start the sorting ceremony!
[assorted quiet cheers]
Amadea: “Choose dawn or dusk.” Um, I’m gonna go with dawn because dusk is like, the most dangerous time of night to drive.
[laughing]
Cecily: To drive?
Amadea: Because it’s like, not fully dark yet, so like, some people don’t have their lights on, so then, you know what I mean? It’s like, proven to be the most dangerous time to drive.
Cecily: That was a rollercoaster of a sentence, I was not expecting any of that.
[Ami in hysterics]
Amadea: Okay, next question!
[more laughing]
Amadea: “Four boxes are placed before you. Which would you try and open? A gleaming, jet-black box with a silver lock and key, marked with a mysterious rune that you know to be the mark of Merlin.” “A small, pewter box, unassuming and plain, with a scratched message upon it that reads, ‘I open only for the worthy.’” “A small, tortoiseshell box, embellished with gold, inside which some small creatures seem to be squeaking.” Or, “the ornate, gold casket, standing on clawed feet, whose inscription warns that both secret knowledge and unbearable temptation lie within.”
Cecily: Wow.
Ami: This question is like—
Amadea: Wow.
Ami: Yeah.
Cecily: This is spicy.
Ami: Talk us through your thoughts, m’lady.
Amadea: Okay. The black box seems a little… sketchy, I’m just like— it reminds me of Pandora’s box for some reason, and I’m gonna stay away from that.
Cecily: I’m personally a fan of the one with the small creatures squ—
Amadea: [screaming] AAH. THERE’S A WASP.
[Cecily and Ami laughing]
Amadea: COMING TOWARD ME. GO. AWAY. GO. AWAY. BYE. Okay.
[more laughter]
Amadea: Okay. Um, let’s see. I think— I’m kinda leaning towards the tortoiseshell box. I wanna see what creatures are inside!
[Cecily laughing]
Ami: Okay. Let out the creature. What if the creature is all of, like, the Pandora’s stuff, with the—
Cecily: What if it’s a wasp.
Amadea: Uh, well then I guess I’m screwed.
[laughter]
Amadea: Okay. “After you have died, what would you most like people to do when they hear your name?”
Ami: Ah, this one.
Amadea: “Ask for more stories about your adventures.” “Miss you but smile.” “Think with admiration of your achievements.” [laughing] “I don’t care what people think about me after I’m dead, it’s what they think of me while I’m alive that counts.”
Ami: Aww, that one is sweet though.
Amadea: Oh, tha– [laughing] I thought it was just gonna be like “I don’t care what people think of me.”
[laughter]
Cecily: It’s just like “I’m dead, it doesn’t matter anymore.”
Amadea: Not “ask for more stories about my adventures”—
Ami: You don’t—
Amadea: Cos that makes me just sound like Hercules or something.
[Ami wheezing]
Amadea: I don’t know.
Ami: Well if you don’t want— you don’t wanna be a god, you don’t wanna be a literal god?
Amadea: No, cos then I’m immortal, and I’m like, that just seems like a lot of work, y’know?
Ami: That’s— yeah that’s fair.
Amadea: Also not “miss me, but smile”, like, you can do that to a living person too, y’know?
[laughter]
Amadea: Um—
Cecily: Think of me cos I’m dead.
Amadea: “Think with admiration of my achievements”? Um… I don’t know what I’m gonna achieve in my life.
Cecily: You achieved picking me up an iced tea from—
Amadea: [screaming] AAAH OH. It’s back. Go away.
[laughter]
Amadea: I think I have to go with the last one. “I don’t care what people think of me after I’m dead. It’s what they think of me while I’m alive that counts.”
Ami: Okay!
Amadea: Cos I’m gonna like, be there to care when I’m alive, y’know? Like after I’m dead, y’know, I can haunt you but like—
[laughter]
Amadea: I can’t really do anything else about it.
Cecily: Amadea’s gonna come back and haunt all of us.
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: Absolutely.
Amadea: Okay—
Ami: She’d be the best ghost ever—
Cecily: She’s gonna be in the H.io server and just haunt us.
Ami: Beautiful.
Amadea: “If you were attending Hogwarts, which pet would you choose to take with you?”
Ami: This one gets really specific, by the way.
Amadea: “Cats—”
Ami: Also the illustrations are so good.
Amadea: “Toads, or owls.” Okay, not toads, they kinda freak me out cos they jump.
[laughter]
Amadea: I don’t know, they just– I feel– like– I can’t– I don’t know. They’re not like– I can’t pet them very well, y’know?
Ami: Mhm.
Amadea: Like I want something fuzzy. Or s– so like, maybe a cat, but cats also kind of scare me cos they have like, beady eyes, and they’re like—
[astonished laughter]
Amadea: But also owls are cool, then I could, like, send owls to people, but I also feel like I could bond better with a cat cos it could come with me everywhere, y’know?
Ami: Right. I mean, so can a toad!
Amadea: I’m not choosing toad.
[laughter]
Amadea: Um—
Ami: Hey, I’m just…presenting you with all of your options, I’m giving everyone a fighting chance.
Amadea: I think I’m gonna go with a cat.
Ami: It gets specific though—
Amadea: Oh wow—
Ami: Yeah it gets really specific—
Amadea: Yeah it gets specific. Okay.
Cecily: I am like, not that specific in my choices.
Amadea: “Ginger cat, white cat, Siamese cat, tabby cat, black cat.”
Cecily: That’s way too many choices for me
Ami: Don’t— don’t get a white one, they’re so— they get dirty so easily.
Amadea: Oh yeah, it would be so hard.
Ami: Especially in like a musty dusty castle.
Cecily: [laughing] Oh God.
Ami: Mhm.
Amadea: I think I’ll go with ginger cat, y’know, cos…stay true to Amadea, with her ginger hair.
[laughing]
Ami: Her cat’s gonna match her?
Amadea: Yeah.
Cecily: Her and all the 50,000 other redheads in Hogwarts.
Amadea: Ooh, I love this question, but I know they’re not gonna have the answer I always say when people ask me this.
Ami: Oh no.
Amadea: It’s, “If you could have any power, which would you choose?”
Ami: Oh.
Amadea: I would choose the power to fill things up, but that’s not like a normal superpower—
Ami: Oh.
Amadea: So it’s definitely not gonna be one of the options. Okay. “The power to read minds, the power to change the past, the power of invisibility, the power to speak to animals, the power of superhuman strength, or the power to change your appearance at will.” So—
Cecily: Dude, the power to fill things up is way better than any of those.
Ami: Dude—
Amadea: I KNOW. Why can’t I just—
Ami: Yeah.
Amadea: Write in my own answer.
[laughter]
Cecily: So much potential!
Amadea: Okay—
Ami: That’s like such a Ravenclaw answer though.
Cecily: What do you mean!
Amadea: The power to read minds—
Ami: Cos it’s smart!
Cecily: [laughing] Okay.
Amadea: I feel– I’ll keep that in the contention. Reading minds does sound pretty cool. Definitely not change the past.
Cecily: We don’t need to accidentally stop it from happening.
Amadea: I don’t wanna accidentally, like, wh– y’know like the butterfly effect, and like if you change one thing, like, the future is gonna be so different, like, I don’t wanna mess that up, so. I’m gonna stay away from… space-time continuum.
[laughter]
Amadea: Anything of the sort. Invisibility would also be cool, cos I could just sneak around everywhere. Speaking to animals would also be cool. Then I could really, like, talk to my cat! Y’know?
Ami: That is true. That is… big brain.
Amadea: Superhuman strength would also be cool. I don’t really care about changing my appearance at will. Like, I can use the Polyjuice Potion for that.
Cecily: I mean some– the metamorphmagi can already do that-
Ami: Yeah but then you have to look like somebody that already exists.
Amadea: Right. True.
Cecily: Cecily and her metamorphmagus powers finally being useful for once in her gosh darn life.
Ami: Yeah– when d– do you ever actually use that?
Cecily: I regret it so much, I regret everything about it—
[laughter]
Cecily: It’s so bad.
Amadea: I think I’m gonna go with read minds, so I can know what everyone is thinking all the time.
Cecily: That’s—
Amadea: But like would it be– would I be able to turn it off? Or would I just always be hearing people’s thoughts?
Cecily: I think you’d be able to turn it off.
Amadea: Okay.
Ami: Like you’d look at someone and you’d be like. Zoning in.
Amadea: Yeah, I’d only want it—
Cecily: Like, “I want to read your mind.”
Amadea: Yeah, I’d only want it if I could do that. I don’t wanna always be hearing everyone’s thoughts all the time. That would be horrible.
Ami: Maybe you get a pair of, like, Edith glasses and ya look at them and then you get to see their thoughts.
Amadea: Ooh! That sounds fun. Okay, next question. “One of your classmates has cheated in a Hogwarts exam by using a self-spelling quill. Now he has come to– come… top of the class in Charms, beating you into second place.”
Cecily: Rude!
Amadea: “Professor Flitwick is suspicious of what happened. He draws you to one side after his lesson and asks you whether or not your classmate used a forbidden quill. What do you do?” Okay, here are my options: “Tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If your classmate is prepared to win by cheating, he deserves to be found out. Also, as you are both in the same house, any points he loses will be regained by you, for coming first in his place.” “You would not wait to be asked to tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If you knew that somebody was using a forbidden quill, you would tell the teacher before the exam started.” “Lie and say you don’t know, but hope that somebody else tells Professor Flitwick the truth.” Or, “Tell Professor Flitwick that he ought to ask your classmate, and resolve to tell your classmate that if he doesn’t tell the truth, you will.” That seems… very overly-complicated.
Cecily: It does.
Amadea: So, not that one. I’m not gonna lie either, cos, eh. And then I probably wouldn’t do the second one either, because that just seems like I’m– like I’m not gonna go out of my way to like, tattle on people. So I’ll probably just go with the first one, cos like if he asks me straight-up, like, “What’s goin’ on here, man?” I’m not gonna be like, “Oh, yeah… nothing.”
[laughter]
Amadea: Also like, I’m getting the house points back, so it doesn’t matter.
Cecily: You’re gonna be be like this co– convoluted, “Oh, you better go ask him, he might… maybe tell you or else I will.”
[laughter]
Amadea: Right? Like, I’m just gonna go with the first one, it seems very straightforward. Okay. “A troll has gone berserk in the Headmaster’s study at Hogwarts. It is about to smash, crush, and tear several irreplaceable items and treasures. An order– In which order would you rescue these items from the troll’s club if you could?” Wait but—
Ami: Oh, I hate this question.
Amadea: How am I supposed to choose the order if I don’t know what the rest of the items are?
Ami: I– no, it’s three. There’s three super valuable items and you choose which order. Cos it’s student records, a book, and a…dragonpox cure.
Cecily: Why do you know that.
Amadea: Okay, cos it’s only showing me—
Ami: No– I-!
Amadea: It’s only showing me one at a time, so I can only—
Ami: Ohhhh.
Amadea: Okay. “A nearly-perfected cure for dragonpox.” That seems pretty important. I’ll put it as 1 for now, I guess. “Student records going back a thousand years.”
Cecily: A thousand years—
Amadea: That doesn’t seem very important to me. I mean like, sure, but shouldn’t the students keep track of where they went to school too?
[laughter]
Cecily: I mean, people who have been dead for a thousand years probably don’t need their records.
Amadea: Yeah. And then “A mysterious handwritten book full of strange runes”? Ooh! That’s so intriguing.
Cecily: That is intriguing.
Amadea: I’ll put it as number 2 I guess, because the dragonpox is already in number 1. Yeah, that seems good. “Heads or tails?”
[silence, followed by laughter]
Ami: You seem so distressed right now!
Amadea: I hate choiCES!
Cecily: Oh my God, heads or tails!?
[Amadea screaming]
Cecily: Most important decision you’ll ever make in your life.
Amadea: Someone chose for me, I can’t do it.
[general noises of distress]
Ami: Oh my goodness.
Cecily: Flip a coin!
Amadea: Oh! Do I have a coin with me? I’ll just flip a coin, and then whatever it is, I’ll do that one.
[Cecily laughing]
Ami: Oh my goodness.
Cecily: Wow.
Amadea: Oh my God, I do have a coin! Okay.
Cecily: Flip it, flip it!
Amadea: I don’t know how to flip it so I’m just gonna throw it.
[astonished wheezing]
Amadea: It’s heads!
Cecily: Oh my God, whoa!
Amadea: Okay. I chose heads. Oh my God, the Sorting Hat is ready to make its decision!
[Cecily gasping]
Ami: Oh no.
Cecily: Oh my God.
Amadea: Okay. I’m a Ravenclaw!
[Cecily gasps again]
Ami: Ay, she switched back!
Cecily: Yayyy!
Amadea: I switched back to my original. Oh wait– good. Okay.
Ami: Good.
Cecily: We welcome you back to the Ravenclaw house.
Amadea: Thank you.
Ami: Alright.
Amadea: I appreciate it.
Ami: Okay.
Amadea: Okay. Uhh… I– no, I don’t wanna share my house pride.
Cecily: Do it. House pride! Ravenclaw pride!
Amadea: Umm. Aah! Ooh. Eee! Okay.
[sounds of stifled laughter]
Amadea: Aah! Okay. Wand. Discover your WAND!
Cecily: Whoa!
Amadea: “Come on in and let’s begin.” Ooh, that– wait, that rhymes. Okay. “First of all, would you describe yourself as average height, tall, or short?” I am definitely short.
Ami: What is average height for us?
Cecily: It’s like—
Amadea: Oh wait—
Ami: Let me look it up.
[furious typing sounds]
Cecily: I wanna say it’s like 5’5”.
Amadea: It’s asking me all about my appearance! Oh my God, is this like a face reveal, kind of?
Cecily: [laughing] Yes.
Amadea: But like, not actually.
Cecily: It’s trying to steal your identity.
Amadea: My eyes? My eyes are dark brown. So. I’m not gonna read all the options, cos like, that seems a little… y’know? Everyone knows what eye colors are. Um, “was the day on which I was born an even or odd number?” See, I don’t know that. Like, the doctors just estimated my birthday—
Cecily: [laughing] Not because you don’t know what even or odd numbers are.
Amadea: Cos the doctors estimated my birthday. So like, my birthday is on an even number, but was I actually born on my birthday? Who knows.
Ami: Just go with it, I guess.
Amadea: [laughing] Okay, even number. Oh! Okay, now we’re getting into the actual questions. “Do you most pride yourself on your determination, imagination, resilience, intelligence, originality, optimism, or kindness?”
Cecily: Wow.
Amadea: Where’s the option that says “none of the above”?
[shocked wheezing]
Amadea: Umm… okay. Definitely not optimism, because… I see myself as more or a realist than an optimist.
Amadea: Imagine Cecily picks optimism.
[laughter]
Cecily: I would never, man.
Ami: I mean, couldn’t you still be in like– can’t you still be an optimistic realist? Like you know what the real— what– like– w– you– you have like, the i– what am I trying to say?
Cecily: Yeah, like, you know what’s gonna happen but you can still hope for the best.
Ami: Like you know how the world is, but you’re still optimistic, right?
Cecily: I’m definitely the realest realist there is.
Amadea: Ummm… [garbled sounds of distress] I guess I’ll go with my imagination, because I do tend to daydream a lot.
Ami: Solid answer.
Amadea: Okay. “Traveling alone down a deserted road, you reach a crossroads. Do you continue: left towards the sea, right towards the castle, or ahead towards the forest?” I think I’m gonna go towards the sea, because I like to swim
[laughter]
Amadea: And there’s dolphins in the ocean. Okay.
Cecily: Ah yes, dolphins.
Ami: I– I mean, I– what if it’s like, a lake?
Amadea: Um, “what do I most fear?”
Ami: Oh yeah—
Cecily: It’s the sea, Ami—
Ami: She said sea.
Cecily: It’s the sea.
Amadea: Um, fire… darkness. Isolation—
Ami: Wait—
Cecily: Wait, what? What is the question?!
Amadea: [laughing] Oh, wait, did I forget to say that? Okay—
Cecily: Fire, darkness, isolation??
Ami: Is it “what is your greatest fear?”
Amadea: Yeah—
Ami: Oh—
Amadea: Fire, darkness, isolation, heights, or small spaces.
Cecily: We’re really gettin’ deep here.
Amadea: Okay, it’s not heights. I feel like my biggest fear is not on this list. I mean the closest thing to it is isolation, but I also did survive isolation. Y’know. Like, quarantine.
[laughter]
Cecily: But you had your parents there—
Amadea: My biggest fear is… dying alone. But.
Cecily: Well, I would say that’s isolation.
Ami: Yeah.
Amadea: Alright, we– we’ll do that then. “In a chest of magical artifacts, which would you choose?” Ooh, exciting! Okay. “Silver dagger, ornate mirror, glittering jewel, bound scroll, golden key, dusty bottle, or black glove.” Yo I’m going with the dagger! I’m about to stab some people![/i]
[incredulous laughter]
Cecily: What? You don’t say that!
Ami: Yeah, I don’t think you can say that.
Amadea: I mean, not to stab people, just– having a dagger seems cool.
Cecily: You just said you wanted to stab people.
[laughter]
Amadea: Okay. I got my wand!
[gasps][/i]
Cecily: Drumroll!
Ami: What did you get?
Amadea: It’s sycamore wood, with a phoenix feather core, it’s 12 ¾”, and surprisingly swishy flexibility.
Cecily: Waow.
Ami: OoH!
Cecily: Ooh!
Ami: That’s very fancy.
Amadea: Exciting.
Cecily: That is fancy.
Ami: Surprisingly swishy, though. That’s usually not– cos that’s– isn’t you flexibil– the wand flexibility based on like… how willing it is to be bent to the dark side, or something like that?
Cecily: Hell if I know.
Ami: I can’t remember, I remember like– I– I– was reading up on wands.
[coughing]
Ami: Are you okay?
[more coughing, hacking even]
Amadea: I swallowed my water the wrong way.
[laughter]
Amadea: It’s fine. Okay, I guess I’m gonna become a dark wizard, then, because my wand is flexible…?
Ami: Well I don’t know if that’s true, I can’t remember.
Amadea: Wait, that means—
Ami: Cos I remember—
Amadea: Amadea’s wand is, like, really… stiff, so that means—
Ami: She’s a good person.
Amadea: She’s always gonna be good!
[cheers]
Ami: I thin, I’m not s– don’t quote me on this, I don’t remember.
Cecily: I literally– I don’t even know what Cecily’s wand is. I have no idea.
Ami: I know Ami’s is a duellist one and I’m like, noo… Further proof that Amadea and Ami are actually just like two sides of the same coin.
Cecily: [laughing] They really are!
Amadea: They are, though! They literally are. Okay, Amadea’s wand is so perfect for her, because, um, I made her stats for duelling cos she’s a duel– duellist, and then I was debating whether to like, stack her accuracy or her arc power, so then I just ended up stacking her arc power. And then I was reading her wand description after the fact, and I was like– it’s like– ha– it’s– I forget what it is but it’s like “highly powerful blah blah blah.” And I’m like “Whoa that’s so perfect!”
Ami: Yeah, mine is—
Amadea: So mine worked out perfectly.
Ami: That is perfect.
Cecily: Nice.
Amadea: Okay.
Ami: Alright, last one!
Amadea: Now it’s time to do my patronus.
Ami: What’s your patronus?
Amadea: [clears throat] Get ready…
Ami: I’m so ready.
Cecily: To sip and slurp—
Amadea: Cecily’s WiFi is bad, so.
Cecily: My WiFi is… not… the best. It’s definitely not having a good time with two zoom meetings going at once.
Amadea: Oh, and the patronus one is the one with the most, like, animation—
Ami: That one’s the most, like—
Cecily: Oh yeah.
Amadea: So that’s why.
Cecily: You have to go, like, really fast on this one.
Ami: Yeah.
Amadea: Oh God, I do?
Cecily: Yeah.
Ami: Yeah.
Cecily: You’re supposed to just like, do it instinctively.
Amadea: Oh my God, I can hear the ominous music! I don’t like it.
[laughter]
Ami: So just l– just say the two options, and then say which one you pick—
Amadea: Thepatronusisakindofapositiveforceaprojectionoftheverythingsdadadadada Remus Lupin!
[laughter]
Cecily: I think we should have Willow put the– the ominous music in the background of this part.
[editor’s note: for context, Dorion was our audio editor.]
[Ominous music starts to play]
Amadea: Oh God. I’m scared. I have to go fast? Okay. Okay. I’ll try to read it as fast as I can.
Ami: Just read the two options! And then—
Amadea: Discover. Your. Patronus.
Cecily: Okay, take a breath.
Amadea: [very quickly] You can only discover your patronus once, the questions are timed, go with your instinct.
[laughter]
Amadea: [quickly] Relax, think of your happiest memory. I don’t know what that is! [screaming, heavy breathing]
[Cecily and Ami laughing]
Cecily: This is delightful.
Amadea: Wait, it’s so dark, I can barely see.
Cecily: Well you gotta go faster than that.
Ami: My God.
Amadea: Enter the woods… oh, “dream, dance, discover.” Uh, uh, uh, dream. I like dreams. Aah. Wait– “bright shadow” bright! Oh I just heard a wolf howl. Ominous!
Cecily: Wow.
Amadea: “Prowl. Play. Preen.” Uh, play. Cos I forget what the other ones mean.
Ami: [wheezing] Perfect.
Amadea: Ooh! A light! [whispering] A light.
Ami: This is so entertaining.
Amadea: “Something is trying to emerge from your wand. Keep going.”
Cecily: [laughing] I have no idea what’s going on.
Ami: So– it gives you like several options, and then you like—
Amadea: WHY. WHO.
Ami: You just have to choose one.
Amadea: UM. WHO.
Ami: She’s having—
Amadea: “One more question, you’re nearly there!” “Spirit, heart, mind.” Uh, uh, uh, heart! Aah. Cos that beats.
[wheezing]
Ami: Cos that beats.
[more laughter]
Amadea: Oh! I got it! It’s a dolphin!
Ami: Oh, that fits so well!
Cecily: A dolphin! Like from the sea!
Amadea: Oh my gosh! Wait, I did say the dolphins were in the sea when I chose the sea.
Cecily: You did say that!
Ami: This fits really well.
Cecily: Aah wait this is so perfect.
Amadea: Wow. Okay, I have all my results. So.
Ami: Woo.
Amadea: I guess this is the end of this episode then? Um—
Ami: We know– we know so much more about Amadea—
Amadea: Yeah, I hope you enjoyed—
Ami: We know she cannot do anything under pressure.
Cecily: She cannot make any decisions—
Amadea: [laughing] Yeah, I guess I can’t.
Cecily: It’s okay, I can’t either. It’ll be a great time.
Amadea: Decisions are hard. Um, I hope you enjoyed learning more about me.
Ami: I think that’s… it.
Amadea: Yeah.
Cecily: Great.
Amadea: Um, shall we leave you with a closing…
Ami: What did– what did—
Cecily: Stay slurpin’, you parallelograms!
[laughter]
Amadea: No no no, like, y’know, we gotta give them a… quest. Uh—
Ami: Ooh.
Cecily: Uh… take the test and tell us your results.
Ami: Yes.
Cecily: Let us know! Tell us what you got!
Ami: And then also, tell us, um, that Amadea is secretly a dolphin.
Cecily: Amadea is secretly a dolphin.
Amadea: And then flip a coin and tell us what you get.
Ami: This is so many– this is a quest.
[laughter]
Amadea: Yeah, that’s why I’m saying it’s a quest! Okay. Uh. Yeah.
Ami: Alright, and— [claps] Cut!
Amadea: Cut.
Cecily: Yeah, woo—!
⛾ TEATIME ⛾
Transcript:
- Stanley Buttons for the current Teatime art
- Adam Harringtom, for the intro
- Dorion Anderson, Podcast Gremlin
ReducioTranscript!
Ami: [sounds of distress] I– I guess– I– I don’t know! [laughing] I’m so like— clearly I’m very eloquent.
[intro music plays]
Adam: Get ready… because it’s time to steep, slurp, and spill! Welcome to Teatime with Cecily, Amadea, and Ami.
[intro music keeps playing, then fades out; automated voice says ‘here is your host’]
Ami: Okay.
Amadea: Welcome back… to another podcast episode!
[cheers]
Ami: Why are we all throwing up peace signs?
[laughter]
Amadea: This time, we are doing the same thing we did when I took all of the tests, except Ami’s gonna do it this time.
Ami: Yep. Um… I do s– I’m just gonna say I have some predictions right off the bat because I think I know myself pretty well, because I know Ami. Uh, I do think I’m gonna get Hufflepuff, despite whatever Cecily says. Cecily seems to think I’m a Gryffindor.
Cecily: You definitely are.
Ami: She’s wrong.
Cecily: I stand by this, I will stand by this—
Amadea: AAH. It’s back!
[laughter]
Ami: Oh my God.
Cecily: The wasp, part two—
Amadea: It’s gonna make an in every single—
[more laughter]
Amadea: In case you couldn’t tell, we’re recording these all on the same day.
Ami: It’s fine though.
Cecily: No, the wasp just comes back specifically every time we go to record.
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: Beautiful. Um, let’s see. Do I think I know what my wand is? No, because I have no i– I don’t know wand metrics.
Amadea: [gasps] I just found ten dollars!
Cecily: [laughing] Congratulations?
Amadea: Okay, keep going, keep going.
Ami: And then, I think– I can’t remember the last time I took the… what’s-it-called, Patronus test? But I hope it’s something like a bear or something, or maybe a wolf, I really like wolves. Um, but yeah, alright, let’s discover my house.
[cheers]
Ami: [in a British…? accent] Start the Sortin’ Ceremonay. “Moon or stars?”
Amadea: [also in a bad British accent] Oh, we’re doing this in an accent, are we?
Ami: [normally] No, I can’t, I– I’m gonna offend so many people that actually have accents. Okay, “moon or stars”, um… I’m gonna say stars, because stars are more powerful than the moon, and the moon can go suck it. Y’know, because gas and stuff. Whatever. Okay. [laughs] Um– why are you wearing sunglasses, you look like you’re, like, the Men in Black.
[laughter]
Amadea: I am.
Ami: “What are you most looking forward to learning at Hogwarts? All about magical creatures and how to befriend and care for them. Flying on a broomstick. Apparition and disapparition.
Secrets about the castle. Transfiguration. Hexes and jinxes. Every area of magic I can.” Okay, first of all, that’s the nerd answer, so I’m gonna avoid that. Uh, I don’t—
Cecily: What, you don’t wanna be a nerd? I think it’s too late for that.
[shocked wheezing]
Amadea: Wait, why are you getting different questions than me?
Ami: I don’t know—
Amadea: Does it change?
Ami: Yeah, it does change.
Amadea: Oh, fancy.
Ami: Okay. Hexes and jinxes, I don’t care much about. Okay, if I coul– this, if it just is fill-in-the-blank answer, I would say potions, I… am a potions nerd, but they don’t have that—
Amadea: Nerrrrrrd!
Ami: The transfiguration is actually, like, pretty high on my list, cos I like physics. I guess. I don’t know. Secrets about the castle, no, I don’t care about Hogwarts, to be honest. Apparition and disapparition… yeah that’d be pretty fun, I guess. Flying on a broomstick, I don’t… really… care about either, because I do say that I’m a jock, but flying is like, not… ehh… maybe? I mean I do love– like, I have taken ground school before and I’m supposed to get my pilot’s license. So that one’s, like, pretty high up there too. All about magical creatures and how to befriend and care for them. Eh. Eh. Not my vibe. Not a horse girl here.
[laughter]
Ami: Are we gonna expose her? Should we expose her?
Cecily: Contrary to what the entirety of gen chat believes.
Ami: Should we expose her?
Cecily: Yes.
Ami: Amadea’s an ex-horse girl.
Amadea: …Yeah…
Cecily: Hardcore ex-horse girl.
Amadea: Okay but like… horses are cool.
[laughter]
Cecily: Nevermind, she’s still a horse girl.
Amadea: Nonono! Like I don’t– I haven’t ridden in like, at least… five years.
Ami: See, that’s why I got so offended when someone called me a horse girl, cos first of all, I’m not that big into horses, second of all, I don’t like riding horses. I tried it once and I did not– like, it was just… not my vibe.
Amadea: I like riding horses—
Cecily: I like riding horses—
Amadea: But I’m not– I’m not like– when they say “the horse girl” I’m not like, that girl.
Cecily: You used to be. You definitely were. You had like all the horse shirts. You were a horse girl.
Amadea: I had a unicorn shirt.
[Cecily laughing]
Ami: Okay, let’s see. Um– ah– I think while transfiguration is very high up on my list, I think I might have to go with flying on a broomstick.
Amadea: Yeah! That’s what I would’ve chosen too.
Ami: Okay. Oh, I got the box question. Okay, so “Four boxes are placed before you. Which would you try and open? A gleaming, jet-black box with a silver lock and key, marked with a mysterious rune that you know to be the mark of Merlin. A small, pewter box, unassuming and plain, with a scratched message upon it that reads, ‘I open only for the worthy.’ A small, tortoiseshell box, embellished with gold, inside which some small creatures seem to be squeaking. The ornate, gold casket, standing on clawed feet, whose inscription warns that both secret knowledge and unbearable temptation lie within.” First of all, just right off the bat, not gonna do the golden casket. I can’t trust myself cos I’m very impulsive, so I–
Amadea: What, not a fan of death?
Ami: No! T– It’s a temptation, I like am super impulsive so I don’t trust myself around that. Um, I’m not gonna pick the creature one, because if it is like squeaking, I am– like, no, I don’t– if it was maybe like, meowing, or like– like, y’know like a baby kitten? If it was that I’d be fine but if it’s like straight up squeaking like a mouse I’m not into that. So that leaves me with Merlin or “I only open for the worthy”. [sounds of distress] I– I guess– I– I don’t know! [laughing]
Cecily: Flip a coin.
Ami: I’m so like— clearly I’m very eloquent. Um, I don’t like the worthy one, cos what if I can’t open it? So, I’m gonna go with the Merlin one.
[laughing]
Cecily: What if you’re not worthy?
Ami: I mean, or– I– I clicked the Merlin one, but now that I’m thinking about it, what if I just like took the “I am only, like, able to open for the worthy” and just like left it, like… somewhere in my school and put like a camera on it to see how many people try to open it? That would be funny.
Cecily: That would be wild.
Ami: I know, okay—
Cecily: No one is worthy—
Ami: “Which of the following do you find most difficult to deal with?” Okay, “Loneliness. Boredom. Hunger. Being ignored. Or, the cold.” Okay, first of all, I thrive off the cold, so, mhm, I might just be Elsa.
[silence]
Ami: It’s funny! Somebody laugh! It was a good joke, okay?
[sounds of forced laughter]
Ami: The cold doesn’t bother me anyway—
Amadea: [singing off-key] The cold never bothered me anywayyy…
Ami: The thing is… I don’t– this sounds so weird– I don’t talk to a lot of people? Uh– like– in my real life, I like to sit and not talk to anyone, so loneliness isn’t, like– it’s something I seek out? Not to be sad or anything? [laughs] So that leaves: Being ignored. Hunger. And boredom. Okay, if I’m truly bored, then I sleep, so that one’s like out of the picture. Hunger and being ignored. Okay–
Cecily: I feel like you have too much of an ego to be ignored.
[laughter]
Ami: Ouch?? I think?? I mean– I… get ignored a lot, in– like, in real life, most of the time. Cos it’s– my friends are all divas, and– but like– it does kinda stink, but like– mm. Mmm. Mmm. I’m gonna go with being ignored. Okay. [claps] This one– I– I love this question. “If you were attending Hogwarts, which pet would you choose to take with you?” I’m actually going to share my screen with you guys for this one because I know which one I’m picking, and I know that neither of you are gonna pick it. [laughs] So… it’s very important. No not cats not cats. Toad. I love toads. First of all, look at these illustrations, they are so. wild.
[gasps]
Cecily: Oh my God, wait, whoa. Those are… amazing.
Ami: Yeah, no. Do you see– do you see his eyes?
[laughter]
Ami: Okay, I should probably do the actual– Um, I chose toads, why? I’m allergic to cats, uh, I can’t deal with taking medication every day because I usually forget, um, so I just… can’t have a cat logistically. [laughs] And owls? I don’t… care much for owls… or birds ‘n’ stuff…? like they’re fine, but I don’t care but I love toads! So, our options are Harlequin Toad, which is this crazy yellow and black lookin’ dude. This Dragon Toad, who looks like a literal dragon, I’m choosing him, I already know that. Um, there’s a Natterjack Toad, a fine specimen, he looks like a soldier about to go into battle, I love him.
[laughter]
Ami: A Common Toad, fine, green, your classic toad. Uh, we have our Three-Toed Tree Toad, which is—
Amadea: [laughs] Try to say that five times fast.
Ami: Yeah, that’s wild. And he is adorable, he has these giant eyes. Um, I’m picking the dragon one. Just– [laughs] “How would you like to be known to history?” Oh no. “The Great. The Wise. The Bold. Or the Good.” Oh, this is easy—
Cecily: Oh, wow.
Amadea: You can—
Ami: So this is… very obvious—
Cecily: It’s so obvious.
Amadea: Tell which house is which in this question.
Ami: Okay. But if I’m– even– here’s the thing: I don’t wanna be known as the “the Great”, because that’s lumping me in with Alexander the Great—
Amadea: Yeah, and he was—
Ami: Who was not great.
Amadea: A horrible person.
Ami: Yeah, exactly. It would be nice? To be known as “the Wise”, but I know that’s—
Cecily: But you’re not.
Ami: Not… possible? Yeah, exactly, I’m not, so that’s just… out of the picture.
[laughter]
Ami: “The Bold”. I– the thing is…
[more laughter]
Ami: I pretend I’m all that, but I do hide behind other people, cos I’d rather not talk to other people, ya feel? So, that leaves me with “the Good”, and I would like to be known as the Good. I’m literally on the board of a volunteering club. I’d like to be known as the Good! So I’m picking the Good. Oh no… okay, “Which nightmare would frighten you the most? Standing on top of something very high and realizing suddenly that there are no hand- or footholds, nor any barrier to stop you from falling. Being forced to speak in such a silly voice that hardly anyone can understand you and everyone laughs at you. Waking up to find that neither your friends or your family have any idea who you are. An eye at the keyhole of the dark, windowless room in which you are locked.” This all sounds like—
Cecily: Okay, wait, can we go back to the first one? If there’s no footholds, where are you standing?
Ami: I don’t… know, and I don’t know what that means.
Amadea: Wow, all of this is terrifying.
Ami: Yeah. I feel like if I had these nightmares, I’d be terrified of all of them. What if I’m, like– I’m caught– I know that I’m awake– no it says “which nightmare would frighten you the most” cos my brain is dark, we know this. I watch a lot of horror movies. So, personally I’m not afraid of heights, so that one doesn’t scare me much. Um, I do know I’m clumsy, so I could fall, but I think that would be kinda fun, cos I do like jumping off of high stuff. So that one doesn’t scare me that much. Being forced to speak in a silly voice… it’s not scary to me, it’s just embarrassing. So it wouldn’t, like, frighten me. I’m just like– eh, I already sound ridiculous anyway, might as well go the full… nine yards, is that what people say?
Cecily: Yeah. Yeah.
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: The full nine yards? Yeah, okay. Big brain. Waking up to find that neither your friends or your family have any idea who you are. That one would straight-up scare me, but I would have fun with it?
[laughter]
Cecily: Reinvent yourself.
Ami: Yeah, exactly! I would no longer be the annoying Ami that you all know.
Cecily: Except then you’d have to try to convince your family to let you stay there.
Ami: Right… that’s true but that means I’d get– I might get to move out earlier.
Cecily: Where would you go?
Ami: I don’t know actually. But, no, the one that would straight-up frighten me would be like the eye in a dark windowless room in which I am locked. I– cos like– one of those things I’ve had is like… if a face just appears in a window, I am terrified. If that– like a horror mov– cos like, usually I find things funny in horror movies, but. “Heads or tails?” Uh, tails.
Amadea: How did you choose that?
Ami: I’ve always picked tails. If you flip a coin, I always pick tails, I don’t know.
Cecily: For the record, I also always pick tails.
Ami: Yeah. Okay, the sorting hat is ready to make its decision.
Cecily: Oooh, drumroll.
Amadea: What are you?
Ami: I’m so upset about this, why is this the one time I get Gryffindor?
Cecily: [screeching] Yes!!
Ami: I swear to God I’m a Hufflepuff!
[laughter]
Cecily: I told you so! I told you!
Ami: [noises of distress] What did I choose? No, I am—
Cecily: I feel validated.
Ami: This was not supposed to happen. This was not supposed to happen. [sighs]
Amadea: You’re a Gryffindor, face it.
Cecily: This is delightful. Best thing to happen all day—
Ami: No– I am—
Cecily: I was right. I love being right.
Ami: Let me tell you, I have taken the Pottermore test at least eight times. This is the first time I have ever gotten Gryffindor. Seven– like, all the other times I got Hufflepuff, except I got Ravenclaw, like, once when I was like seven, or whatever. I d– I– [sighs] This makes me so mad.
Cecily: I feel validated. I appreciate it.
Ami: This is very wrong. [whispers] I’m so mad about this. Okay, we’re gonna speed through the wand one.
Cecily: It’s less interesting.
Amadea: I… think it’s kind of interesting.
Cecily: I mean, yeah.
Ami: Okay– well– no– I’m gonna– we’re gonna speed through the wand one because I talk a lot. So first of all, “Would you describe yourself as—” I Googled it while Amadea was doing hers, I am average height. Eyes, uh, black. And, day on which I was born is an odd number. “Do you pride yourself most on: determination.” No. “Resilience.” Absolutely not. “Originality.” Eh. “Kindness.” Not really, I guess. “Imagination. Intelligence. Or Optimism.” How about none of the above, good Lord. I pride myself on my ability to slap people.
[laughter]
Cecily: We don’t have much going for us.
Ami: I know, we’ve got like– cos like, I– I think I have some of these qu– traits, or whatever, but I don’t pride myself on it. I guess I’ll have to choose…
Cecily: I pride myself on my ability to win a debate.
Ami: [laughs] Exactly, right? Uh, God. Um… maybe optimism, then. Hey, keep going, why are you frozen?
Cecily: Something dripped from the tree onto my arm. I don’t like this.
Ami: This is—
Amadea: It was probably the bird.
Cecily: It wasn’t! Because there’s nothing on my arm. It was probably just water but I don’t know why.
Ami: Hey. Yo. I clicked the thing and it is not going forward.
Amadea: It’s clear bird poop.
Ami: Can I click something else?
Cecily: It’s not!
Amadea: Oh. Is your test not working?
Ami: I can click all the options. This is weird. I’m reloading this.
Amadea: You’re clicking all of them? Wow, you’re very prideful in yourself then.
Ami: No– cos I was like– I clicked the optimism one, and then it wouldn’t let me go further. Alright, there we go. “Traveling alone down a deserted road, you reach a crossroads. Do you continue to the sea, the forest, or to the castle?” I hate bugs, so probably not the forest. Uh… I hate sand, so let’s go to the castle.
[laughter]
Ami: “What do you most fear? Fire, isolation, small spaces, darkness, heights.” None of the above. I hate needles, so I might as well—
Amadea: Me too!
Ami: I know, I– I– I can’t deal with needles. Everything else I’m fine with. I don’t care about anything else.
Amadea: Dude. Literally, I’m getting, like, and MRI and my– having a blood test like next week, and the doctor literally prescribed me Xanax to take before that happens so I don’t have to, like, freak out about the needles.
Cecily: So you don’t pass out when you see the needle?
Amadea: Yeah.
Ami: I have to pretend to be fine with needles, because my brother starts crying around needles, so I have to pretend to be like “oh no, it’s fine!” But one time I got my blood drawn and I was literally shaking so bad they had to redraw it on the other arm because they couldn’t get a steady blood flow. It was bad. So, I’m gonna go with darkness.
[laughter]
Cecily: Completely irrelevant, but okay.
Ami: “In a chest of magical artefacts, which would you choose? Silver daggle, glitter—”
Amadea: Daggle.
Ami: Daggle.
Cecily: Daggle.
Ami: “Silver dagger, glittering jewel, golden key, black glove, ornate mirror, bound scroll, or dusty bottle.” I’ll take the key, I think it’d make a cool earring. Okay. Ooh! Hornbeam wood… with a phoenix feather core– I’m Harry Potter!
Amadea: Ooh.
Ami: Uh, 12 ¼ inch– I feel like that’s really short. 12 ¼ inch, and a pliant flexibility. None of us know what any of this means, so honestly, if you know what this wand stuff means, DM us and tell us like… what it means.
Cecily: Yeah, please let us know, because we’re just like—
Ami: We know nothing.
Cecily: “Oh yeah, flexible. Sounds good.”
Ami: Alright. Patronus—
Amadea: Oh wait, I’m pretty sure we can like, look it up on… the Wizarding World thing.
Ami: Oh, yep. It probably says.
Amadea: But that seems like a—
Cecily: That’s a lot of effort.
Ami: Yeah.
Amadea: Seems like a lot of work, so. Yeah.
Ami: Alright. Patronus—
Amadea: You guys can do that for us.
Ami: [laughs] We said, “Give us a 200-word essay on what our wand types mean.”
Cecily: And we’ll pay you in, um—
Amadea: Yeah.
Cecily: Gratitude.
Ami: Yes. The best payment. Alright. Um, I’m gonna do the Patronus one now, I’m trying not to freak out like Amadea did—
[laughter]
Ami: But I’ll probably have the same amount of, like, panic in my voice.
[more laughter]
Cecily: Just less screaming.
Ami: Yeah.
Amadea: You’re gonna hear the ominous music while you do this.
Ami: I know. I wanna hear the spooky spooky music.
Amadea: Spooky time.
Ami: I’m so mad. I– I swear to God I’m not a Gryffindor.
Cecily: Hell yeah.
Amadea: Well, according to the test, you are, so.
[Ami sighs]
Cecily: I support the test, I think the test is right. The test is always right. The test says you’re a Gryffindor. I like being right.
Ami: Yeah, but the past, like, six times I’ve taken the test it’s said Hufflepuff.
Amadea: Well not this time.
Ami: The one time it matters. The one time it matters.
Cecily: Ha ha.
Ami: I get the one house I’ve never gotten. Cos I think I got a– I got Slytherin like once, too. I know I got like one Ravenclaw… one Slytherin, and the rest have always been Hufflepuff.
Cecily: I think I’ve gotten all the houses except for Hufflepuff—
Amadea: I’ve always gotten Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. And I only got Hufflepuff once, so.
Ami: Oh my God, it’s taking forever. Should I just do like a separate one and pretend it is the– no, I can’t, because this one’s so unique. Oh, wait, no, I think it started!
[cheers]
Ami: I don’t know, it’s a black screen. I’m not sure what’s happening. Hello? Is anybody there?
Amadea: [in a strange voice] Hello??
Ami: Is anyone home? Why is there a black screen? I’m so confused. This is even worse than the little flickering flame thing. Uh, so, um, I don’t know if I told you this, but my flannel has a giant pocket, and I could probably fit a book in it.
Cecily: Oh, Oh my God, I love that.
Ami: It’s ginormous.
Cecily: Man, I wish it was flannel season here. I miss wearing flannels.
Ami: Oh it is not flannel season here, I’m just still wearing one, cos… screw it, my room is cold. Alright, so it’s finally loaded. I clicked—
Cecily: Um, I’m so sorry if you can hear me chewing—
Ami: Oh, come on, please work. If this doesn’t work, I might have a cow. [whispers] Jesus Christ., It’s a black screen now, I’m– I don’t know what I did wrong. It was fine, I– I clicked the “Begin” button… Okay.
[ominous Patronus music plays]
Ami: “A Patronus is a kind of positive force, a projection,” yeah yeah yeah. Remus Lupin. Et cetera. We love Lupin. Lupin’s my fav. That– that’s a lie, Lupin is not my favorite character. But I do like Lupin a lot. [in a terrible accent, again] “Discover your Patronus.” Okay. “Think of your happiest memory.” I don’t have one. [laughs]
Cecily: That’s sad.
Ami: Well I just can’t think of a happiest one. “Discover, dance, dream.” Uh, dream. “Sun, wind, rain.” Uh, rain. This is really stressful, I’m not sure why. I’m like, s– feeling the same panic as Amadea.
Amadea: Yeah, right?
Ami: But it’s fine. “Bright, shadow.” Shadow. [sounds of distress] This animation is pretty dope though.
Cecily: It is.
Amadea: It’s so stressful.
Ami: “Earth, wood, stone.” Stone. What d– What do these choices say about me? [laughs]
Amadea: I don’t know.
Ami: “Something is trying to emerge from your wand! Keep going!” I’m goin’, I’m goin’ man, I’m zoomin’.
[laughter]
Ami: Zero hesitation. “Lost, found.” Lost. Bro. Is that depressing? “You’re so close, keep going!” I– I’m goin’ bro, I’m like sprintin’, my arms are pumpin’. “Spirit, heart, mind.” What the heck? Heart.
Cecily: Because it beats.
[wheezing]
Ami: Alright. Because… Valentine’s Day. I don’t know man. Heart, baby. “Your Patronus is a…” What’s a goshawk? I got a goshawk.
[laughter]
Amadea: A what?
Cecily: Wait—
Ami: What is that? Like, I don’t know.
Amadea: Wait, how do you spell it?
Ami: G-O-S-H-A-W-K.
Amadea: Oh, it’s a type of bird.
Cecily: Oh, hawk.
Ami: Oh, yes.
Cecily: I thought you said hog. Like—
Ami: Oh, I said– no, I said hawk.
Amadea: Um, It’s a—
Ami: It’s a hawk! I don’t—
Amadea: It’s a medium-large raptor in the family Accipitridae—
Ami: [gasps] Heck yeah. It’s a raptor!
Amadea: Which also includes eagles, buzzards, and harriers.
Ami: Heck yeah, those are the coolest birds.
Cecily: It’s “often considered a ‘true hawk’”. That’s pretty epic.
Ami: Heck yeah. I am one hundred percent down with this. I agree.
Cecily: That’s pretty epic.
Amadea: Oh. They take their prey by putting on short bursts of amazingly fast flight, often twisting among branches and crashing through thickets—
[laughter]
Amadea: In the intensity of pursuit.
Ami: This sounds like me to a T.
Cecily: That does sound like you.
Amadea: It has superb aerial agility.
Cecily. Superb.
Ami: Ooh! I’m– does that mean I’m better than everyone?
[wheezing]
Cecily: Um…
Ami: Uncomfortable silence. No. N– that’s pretty dope. I think that fits me. I was hoping for a wolf but that’s okay, this is pretty close. I know I said that I didn’t like birds but I’m pretty down with this bird. I’d be– I’d hang with this bird. Alright. Um… shoutouts? I guess? Always Headliner.
Cecily: Always Headliner.
Amadea: Always Headliner!
Ami: Headliner now and forever.
Cecily: Headliner is life. Headliner is love.
[laughter]
Amadea: Headliner is… everything.
Cecily: Headliner is.
Ami: Headliner. Headliner, baby.
Amadea: Whoop whoop!
Cecily: That’s it! That’s all we got.
Ami: That’s it. Heck yeah.
Cecily: Have a great day.
Ami: Oh, we need a quest. Amadea, our official quest-giver?
Amadea: Oh, okay! Your quest this time is to tell us what your favorite kind of Cheez-Its are. Cos I’m currently eating them.
Cecily: She stole my Cheez-Its.
Amadea: I did. Um—
Cecily: They’re jalapeno-cheddar jack. They’re—
Amadea: Yeah. They are very good. Currently right now, my favorite is the Cheez-It Snack Mix, that has like all of the different kinds of stuff.
Ami: Well, but that’s not—
Amadea: It’s like Cheez-Its version of Chex Mix.
Ami: That’s not real Cheez-Its though.
Amadea: But it’s so good!
Cecily: My favorite—
Ami: That’s not a real Cheez-It.
Cecily: My favorite is the Loaded Taco ones. They taste exactly like a taco. It’s wild.
Amadea: Oh, you know what are really good? The Cheez-It Grooves.
Cecily: Ooh, yes!
Ami: Oh, those are the best.
Cecily: Those are amazing.
Amadea: Yeah. Okay, so tell us your favorites!
Cecily: Stay slurpin’ you parallelograms!
Ami: Stay sexy, you parallelograms.
Amadea: You slurpin’ parallelograms.
[laughter]
Cecily: Okay, that was wild.
Amadea: Okay. Bye!
Cecily: Bye!
