The best thing to wear to a birthday party is to show up in a Dobby Halloween costume, pillowcase and all. Don't forget the sock! It'll be your present to the birthday person.

What is the best excuse to not do your homework?

cool!!

opening ur book!
"why didnt u do ur hw?" -teacher
"uhm.. I opened the book sir.."

How to not act cringe?

In order to prevent the virus known as 'cringe,' you must spray everything with lemon juice! The more, the better! The citric acid naturally disinfects any and all microbacteria of the genus 'cringe'! Don't be afraid to spray your cringey friends, too-- it's a cure as well as a preventative measure!

How am I supposed to get from Astronomy class to Potions class in five minutes??

OMG THATS ACTUALLY COOL bro u r too creativeee

u would have to carry a horse and run 5 miles 3 times, then 3 times around the castle, then jump from the edge of the astronomy class to the sky, if u didnt die, u will reach potions class!

How do u apply lipbalm tho?

xD oh no! How will I ever get a horse at the top of Astronomy Tower?? tyyy

You apply lip balm by applying it onto a mirror, then smashing the mirror on concrete, and then giving yourself bangs with a piece of mirror! Everyone will be so busy looking at your new hairstyle that they won't notice your dry lips!

What's the best way to drink butterbeer?

The best way to drink butterbeer is upside down while riding a hippogriff, using your wand as a straw and shouting out spells to ward off the calories.

What's the best way to start learning a new language?

Sleeping


How do you go to school?

I go to school by flying in on a dragon, going through a cheese wormhole, grabbing space donuts and then entering class via toilet teleportation because who uses doors!

What do you usually eat for breakfast?

a brick.

How to listen to music?

You eat it, silly.

How do I make pizza?