Nyx Blackheart wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 15:29

Amelia Lerelle wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 13:38

Nyx Blackheart wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 13:37

Amelia Lerelle wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 13:36 I’ll take any criticism on my writing in general Sorry haven’t got too many yet…

Okie! I'll read one of ur rps soon!

Thx

Hi! So I read one of your rps, the Sorting Hat one, and it was really good! Some small suggestions would be (and I'm sorry if this comes off as a bit harsh):

1. Space it out a bit more, people who are reading this may want a break in between paragraphs.
2. Try to put the reader in Amelia's perspective, make them feel what she feels.
3. Try to expand your vocabulary, and by that I mean to use new and exciting words, like Minacious, or Perturbation
4. Place yourself in Amelia's shoes and become Amelia

I hope these help!

Amelia Lerelle wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 22:18

Nyx Blackheart wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 15:29

Amelia Lerelle wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 13:38

Nyx Blackheart wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 13:37

Amelia Lerelle wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 13:36 I’ll take any criticism on my writing in general Sorry haven’t got too many yet…

Okie! I'll read one of ur rps soon!

Thx

Hi! So I read one of your rps, the Sorting Hat one, and it was really good! Some small suggestions would be (and I'm sorry if this comes off as a bit harsh):

1. Space it out a bit more, people who are reading this may want a break in between paragraphs.
2. Try to put the reader in Amelia's perspective, make them feel what she feels.
3. Try to expand your vocabulary, and by that I mean to use new and exciting words, like Minacious, or Perturbation
4. Place yourself in Amelia's shoes and become Amelia

I hope these help!

THANKS!! That’s really helpful

Nyx Blackheart wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 22:33

Amelia Lerelle wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 22:18

Nyx Blackheart wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 15:29

Amelia Lerelle wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 13:38

Nyx Blackheart wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 13:37

Okie! I'll read one of ur rps soon!

Thx

Hi! So I read one of your rps, the Sorting Hat one, and it was really good! Some small suggestions would be (and I'm sorry if this comes off as a bit harsh):

1. Space it out a bit more, people who are reading this may want a break in between paragraphs.
2. Try to put the reader in Amelia's perspective, make them feel what she feels.
3. Try to expand your vocabulary, and by that I mean to use new and exciting words, like Minacious, or Perturbation
4. Place yourself in Amelia's shoes and become Amelia

I hope these help!

THANKS!! That’s really helpful

Ur welcome! I really do hope that I didn't come off as harsh, people tell me that sometimes I do hehe, also

@Cyrus Darsel and @Summer Lancaster I'll try to read some of ur posts as well!

Summer Lancaster wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 22:34

Nyx Blackheart wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 22:33

Amelia Lerelle wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 22:18

Nyx Blackheart wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 15:29

Amelia Lerelle wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 13:38

Thx

Hi! So I read one of your rps, the Sorting Hat one, and it was really good! Some small suggestions would be (and I'm sorry if this comes off as a bit harsh):

1. Space it out a bit more, people who are reading this may want a break in between paragraphs.
2. Try to put the reader in Amelia's perspective, make them feel what she feels.
3. Try to expand your vocabulary, and by that I mean to use new and exciting words, like Minacious, or Perturbation
4. Place yourself in Amelia's shoes and become Amelia

I hope these help!

THANKS!! That’s really helpful

Ur welcome! I really do hope that I didn't come off as harsh, people tell me that sometimes I do hehe, also

@Cyrus Darsel and @Summer Lancaster I'll try to read some of ur posts as well!

TYSM, (I have one on this account might want to see Ellie's)

Nyx Blackheart wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 22:37

Summer Lancaster wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 22:34

Nyx Blackheart wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 22:33

Amelia Lerelle wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 22:18

Nyx Blackheart wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 15:29

Hi! So I read one of your rps, the Sorting Hat one, and it was really good! Some small suggestions would be (and I'm sorry if this comes off as a bit harsh):


I hope these help!

THANKS!! That’s really helpful

Ur welcome! I really do hope that I didn't come off as harsh, people tell me that sometimes I do hehe, also

@Cyrus Darsel and @Summer Lancaster I'll try to read some of ur posts as well!

TYSM, (I have one on this account might want to see Ellie's)

'course! I'll check both of them out soon

1. Try to be a bit more confident in your writing. You can practically feel the hesitation in it, like you're afraid to write the story that's in your head.
2. Try to stretch it out a bit. Fill it with the thoughts and feelings that Summer might have, like I told Amelia, Place yourself in her shoes. Become Summer. Summer is an extension of who YOU are, not a character you created for your fancy.
3. Like I also told Amelia, space it out, create little blocks in-between paragraphs because it feels like it's a lot of writing with no end.
3. Try to make the reader understand what Summer is feeling, and by that, I mean to just describe. Describe everything in vivid detail, even more then what you were doing before

1. Create more trauma for it. Cyrus literally just survived an explosion! That calls for The Voice. That little voice that comes around and makes you feel miserable, that makes you BELIVE that it was Your Fault.
2. That sudden change in attitude, when Rett comes in is a bit out of character, after all, wasn't he miserable moments, seconds, before? Perhaps make him a bit moodier, or sullen, or distracted.

Nyx Blackheart wrote: 19 Jun 2025, 23:35 @ Cyrus Darsel I read one of your posts, The one called Praise as Sweet as Peaches It's sooooo Good! I love it, the only things I would suggest, and these are only like 2 or 3 things are:

1. Create more trauma for it. Cyrus literally just survived an explosion! That calls for The Voice. That little voice that comes around and makes you feel miserable, that makes you BELIVE that it was Your Fault.
2. That sudden change in attitude, when Rett comes in is a bit out of character, after all, wasn't he miserable moments, seconds, before? Perhaps make him a bit moodier, or sullen, or distracted.

I love this far too much tho to give you any major criticism tho, It's amazing and I hope you find this helpful!