Wait that’s such a funny twist-

Granted! As you head to buy one, someone steals all of your money.

I wish I had school only two days a week.

Granted! You're now a loner fish that only needs to join the school twice a week

I wish I wasn't so bored.

Wait, I’m a fish?
Huh, what?

Granted! You decide to get some steps in. But when you get tired, your body refuses to stop. You run until you collapse.

I wish I had a tiny pet dino

It was accepted but it ate everyone.

I wish I could run fast like a cheetah!

Granted! But you can never stop doing zoomies. You must sprint no matter how tiny the distance is.

I wish I had 100 Galleons, completely safe and Gringotts ensured!

Granted, but they're actually leprechaun gold

I wish I was better at math...

granted! but you are only gonna get straight a's in math, and in rest of the classes you're gonna be failing

i wish i was mentally ok and didn't had any disorders

Granted! I'm so sorry
Sadly, you have been hypnotized to be completely average.

I wish I could give everyone head pats

granted, but you pat head of every singke person you meet, even strangers

i wish i wasn't hungry all the time

Granted! But you can never like the taste of any food.

I wish I could figure out what to wish for!!!