Finished PV Don't Think Samantha Salwis

"Hmm...sure," Carolyn nodded somewhat hesitantly. Not that she wasn't willing but she wondered why Samantha chose her to talk about it. She seemed to have plenty of friends that could help shouldering the burden. Sure, they weren't there so it might be hard to explain but the older witch wasn’t at the secret blossom ball during her first year either and still managed to help her best friend. At least she liked to think she did. This conversation made her wonder however...did she actually? Or was it just her assumption all along? Well it's too late to find out anyway. The girl reminded herself, shifting her focus back on the situation at hand.

In the end, despite her words, Sam still seemed somewhat unwilling to tell her parents. Carolyn understood but even so, she stood by her opinion that keeping it a secret wouldn't end well for anybody. Thankfully, on some level, the first year obviously agreed with that. She even said as much eventually. It was just the fear of their reaction that was holding her back. That was her fight however. The older girl could give Samantha her opinion but she couldn't fight her inner battles for her.

"Oh no...you absolutely shouldn't tell them via letter." The painter shook her head resolutely. "On the contrary, you might want to keep writing them about the things that you like. About your favourite classes, your friends, the school grounds and clubs...just so they understand how much this place means to you. That way when you tell them about the incident and explain how much you want to stay, they might understand better." She sighed slowly adding another black shape next to the first one. Orcas also valued family above anything else...it would be unfair to paint just one. "Writing them might sound easier so you don't have to witness the reaction first-hand but easier doesn't necessarily mean better. You seem to understand that one pretty well yourself though so I don’t have to explain." Dishonesty rarely benefited anybody but that didn't mean you had no right to choose how you are going to go about sharing something. Sam felt the letter wasn't the right choice and this time and Carolyn agreed.

"It’s okay to tell them later when you come home and it’s also fine to tell them when you are feeling under weather via letter but don’t describe what happened when you are so far away. It’s always good to try and put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Imagine how you would have felt if your roles were reversed and think what might make you feel better. That usually helps me to deal with the situation." The witch admitted.

@Eun-ji Lee Hunt

When Carolyn agreed that Samantha shouldn't tell her parent about the curse via letter, Samantha felt a little proud. She had said something smart, something that Carolyn agreed with. Normally the brunette was sure that she was right, but about this subject she hadn't been so sure. She needed advice from somebody else, even though she hated asking something, because it made her feel like she was stupid.

Writing about things that she liked, that sounded like a good plan. She already wrote a lot about her life, but if she could write more about all the great things that she only could get at Hogwarts. She could talk about the classes. Her parents would probably not understand a lot about it, and they would realize that Hogwarts was the right place for her.

Samantha listened to the older girl, like she always did in class to the professor. Her full attention was on Carolyn and she focused of everything that was being told, while making little mental notes of what she found important.

When Carolyn talked about putting yourself in other people's shoes Samantha's expression became puzzled. She wasn't good at imagining how the other person felt. She knew what she felt and how she thought, but how was she suppose to know that about somebody else?

"I will just write my parents about the fun things, and in the next break I will tell them about, well, you know." Samantha couldn't say the attack, the spiders or the curse. If she would do that, that would mean she really had to do it, that she really had to tell her parents everything. Now she could just tell them a part of what happened. Maybe she would just tell them that she got curse, because a spider bit her. That was true and she wouldn't be lying, she would just not tell the whole truth.

"Do you have nightmares about it? I mean it was really scary and I didn't like it to see all those wounds and the blood and also the pain and, and, just, scary and." She bit on her lip, trying not to cry. When she described everything, she saw it all again and she also felt the pain again. It had been really traumatizing for the young girl and she had been sleeping bad ever since the day of the attack. Well the night of the attack she had slept well, because she had been really tired and Carolyn had told her a nice story, but after that night she had been having nightmares every day.

Reducio

Sorry for the late reply

It seemed like Samantha struggled to put herself in other person’s shoes. She looked awfully confused when Carolyn suggested she’d do that. That’s okay…perhaps she is too young to do so. Technically speaking, the raven-haired girl wasn’t that much older but she got to see many sad stories unfold during her childhood and her grandmother never bothered to tiptoe around her when it came to life lessons either. It might have not been an ideal way to raise a child but Carolyn was somewhat grateful for it. It made these type of situations so much easier to handle now. “Sounds good.” She nodded once Sam finally decided on the solution. It seemed like they were in agreement and the older witch wondered whether the younger one planned to leave now. Was there something else she wanted to discuss? Well it appeared that was indeed the case.

Oh no…is she going to cry? Carolyn paused her painting for a moment. She was not good at comforting people but he wasn’t heartless, it was understandable that Sam felt emotional about the incident. It must have been a scaring experience and the older witch wasn’t entirely unmarked by it either. She was just better at hiding it. “No I don’t.” Carolyn answered honestly. “It’s not that it wasn’t scary but thanks to my parents’ occupations, I basically grew up in both muggle and magical hospitals. When that’s the case, you get to see plenty horrible injuries and get to know many unfortunate people. It puts things in a different perspective.” She explained as she resumed her painting. Even if she was faring better, it was not a pleasant topic and art helped her to relieve some of the stress. “I’m not saying it didn’t affect me at all. Such thing strikes different when you are directly involved of course…” The Ravenclaw still felt rather guilty for giving up on Robert and calling Samantha to help in the first place but she also understood that there was no point thinking about events that already happened. She once heard someone say on TV: "You can never go out once you’re trapped in the past because you can’t even see the door." Carolyn thought it was very wise quote.

“Also, I do have nightmares occasionally. Just different and….I’m better at hiding it?” The raven-haired girl wasn’t entirely happy to reveal this particular fact about herself but Samantha looked extremely distressed and it felt unfair to make her think she was immune to everything. She was still just a human after all. “Your body is honest. When you’re in physical pain, you cry. But for some people, the heart is a liar. It stays quiet even if it’s hurting.” It was sad but this was the reality for her and many others. “That doesn’t make people who are honest with their feelings weak however. We are just all different, that’s all.” Carolyn was not sure if this was in any way helpful to the other girl but ultimately she chose to confide in her and this was what she was getting out of it.

Reducio

OOC: No worries at all. There is plenty of ongoing threads at the moment. I completely understand.

@Eun-ji Lee Hunt

Samantha was very proud of herself when Carolyn agreed with her solution. It was important for the young girl that Carolyn approved of the idea, because she looked up to her. It wasn't that they knew each other that well, but for some reason Samantha took a liking towards the older girl.

Maybe it was because they had gone through something traumatic together, or maybe it was the way how Carolyn had treated her after the attack. Carolyn had given Samantha comfort when she needed it the most. Nobody else had checked upon her when she was laying in bed, the only student that had come was Carolyn and Samantha was really grateful for that.

Carolyn stopped painting for a moment, and Sam wondered if that was because of her question. Did Carolyn relate to her question? “No I don’t.” The words hit the first year hard. Carolyn didn't? Was she weird for having nightmares? Was she a coward? Doubting herself, Samantha quietly listened to the explanation while staring to the ground, not wanting to let the other girl see her teary eyes.

Carolyn had a very different background, maybe she shouldn't compare herself to her. After all, she had never seen horrible injuries in her life, except for that day. Samantha told herself that she shouldn't compare herself, but deep inside her she still did.

Samantha was unusually quiet, she was listen more then she was talking, which almost never happend. When Carolyn admitted to also having nightmares, Sam looked up with her big watery eyes. "You do?" she asked surprised while wiping away the tears that were forming in her eyes.

She was a little happier now she knew that she wasn't the only one with nightmares. "But I am not in physical pain anymore, well less, just a bit," after all the feeling of being cursed wasn't the best, "I would say I have mental pain?" Did that make any sense? "Like I just don't feel happy and I am scared all the time." Samantha shrugged, she didn't know how to explain this.

"You are really wise, did you know that? You gave me great advice!" the young girl said with a little smile on her face. Her tears were gone, she felt a little better. Going to Carolyn had been a great idea.

The first year seemed disheartened by her answer but Carolyn expected as much. People usually felt comforted when there was someone sharing their fears. Samantha probably hoped for the same and while she was not entirely wrong, it was probably not what she was looking for either. At least, admitting she had other nightmares appeased the young girl a bit. Carolyn found it strange how humans did that. Feeling relieved whenever they found out they weren't alone in their suffering. One should feel bad about other peoples' misfortune but once the misfortune was shared, suddenly it was okay to be happy about it. Strange indeed but she was guilty of the same behavior so she didn't judge. "I do," she confirmed once again but wouldn't elaborate any further. Carolyn didn't want to be the one to explain that some humans could be far bigger monsters than the ones they'd encountered in the Ravenclaw tower. Either she would figure it out on her own or, if she was extremely lucky, she would live her whole life without needing said knowledge.

"I see. It's good that you are not in pain anymore. Although do not underestimate the mental pain. While not visible, it can hurt just as much if not more than the physical injuries and when left untreated, they fester just like any open wound would." In all honesty, she thought Sam was doing much better job looking after herself in that regard. Carolyn hardly ever shared her worries with anyone else, which would probably come back to haunt her in the future. "If talking to someone helps, you've made the right decision today." She praised the younger girl with a soft smile. She would be okay. Perhaps not today or for the next few months but she would get there eventually.

"You are really wise, did you know that? You gave me great advice!" The raven-haired witch raised her eyebrows. She knew she was pretty mature for her age but wise was a strong word. "I suppose being raised by my grandparents for a large part of my childhood helped in that regard. They bestowed plenty of wisdom on me through the years." She said thoughtfully. "However sometimes it makes me sound like an old person apparently." Carolyn smiled at that, she had heard people say that often but she mostly found it funny. "I'm glad I could help." Samantha was also smiling at this point so all was good. The girl was probably stronger than she gave herself credit for.

@Eun-ji Lee Hunt

"If talking to someone helps, you've made the right decision today." Even though it wasn't really a compliment, Samantha decided that it was. She wanted Carolyn to think she was smart and made good decisions. The young girl did agree with Carolyn, it had been a good decision of her to talk about it. It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders now she had shared her feelings.

She listened to Carolyn explain why she might be so wise. Samantha didn't like the idea of being raised by the parents of her mother, however, being raised by the parents of her father would be amazing. She would be able to eat fresh-baked bread or cake every day since her grandmother and grandfather loved baking. If she would be raised by the parents of her mother she would probably have a lot of rules, but also a lot of stuff. Her grandma always spoiled her and her sister when they were visiting.

When Carolyn said she sometimes sounded like an old person, Samantha giggled. "I didn't mean that you sound like an old person!" She had turned into her bubbly self again and had a big smile on her face. "Thank you for listening! Have a nice day" she said as she ran off to leave the older girl paint in peace. Before joining her friends again she turned back and waved to the older girl.

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