Finished PV Don't Think Samantha Salwis

@Eun-ji Lee Hunt

It had almost been three weeks since the attack in the Ravenclaw tower. People says time heals all the wounds, but apparently three weeks weren't enough to recover from such a traumatic experience. Maybe it was because she hadn't really talked to anybody what had happend that day. It wasn't that Samantha didn't want to talk about it, the right person was just missing.

Her best friend hadn't been at the attack and she wouldn't know what happend. That would mean that Samantha had to explain everything to her friends and Sam wasn't sure if she could do that. Normally with something big like this she would go to her sister or parents, because they would understand her. This time things were different. She was far away from her family so she couldn't really talk to them. Beside, even if Samantha could talk to them she wouldn't. Her parents are muggles, just like her sister. They didn't understand the magical worlds and the dangers. They would be really worried and her parents might even pull her out of school. Samantha didn't like the idea of not being at Hogwarts anymore. Yes, she had been attacked by spiders, but it was one of the only places she could learn about magic.

The brunette had used distraction to ignore the attack. She had surrounded herself by more friends than usual and had done all her schoolwork. She had read almost every book she liked and still she kept thinking about the shadow spiders and their curse. Today was no exception, Samantha had filled her day with reading, homework and friends.

Even though she had done everything to distract her she was still thinking about the attack in the back of her head. Right now she was outside with her friends, who were throwing the melting snow on the other.

Samantha just watched her friends, she wasn't really in the mood for something childish like that. She tried to enjoy, to appreciate the nice weather. It wasn't the warmest day, but the sun did shine bright and made her face feel warm. She was wearing a warm gray sweater that kept her warm. The jacket she was wearing also helped the keep her warm. Her outfit wasn't that great, but that wasn't that surprising as Samantha had no fashion taste at all. Her green pants, blue sneakers, grey sweater and yellow jacket didn't match at all.

Deep in her thoughts the young girl watched her friends, she couldn't really enjoy the day. She hadn't been able to enjoy things as much as she did before the attack. She felt like the emotions of that day kept dragging her down. It was like a giant weight on her shoulder that she had to carry all alone.

She shook her head, she had to stop thinking and worrying. She joined the her group of friends. She didn't throw anything but watched and laughed as the other first years got hit. When one of her friends held the melting snow in her hand and aimed for Samantha, Sam let out a little scream and ran away. She stopped at safe distance from the friend who had aimed at her and looked back. Her friend had already found a new victim to throw the watery snow to.

That was when Samantha saw a figure walk across the campgrounds. It were actually two figures, but they were so far away that Samantha couldn't see the cat. It took the young girl a moment to realize who it was. The person had something familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. It was only when the student came closer that Samantha recognized her. It was Carolyn!

Sam's eyes began to shine. Carolyn was really nice, she had taken care of Samantha that awful night and she had even told Sam a story. The first year really liked the older girl. Samantha thought that Carolyn was amazing, she was kind, smart and caring. Carolyn was like a role model to Sam. She could do nothing wrong in Samantha's eyes.

The brunette felt something hitting her back. She quickly turned around and saw her friend smiling at her. Samantha had been hit by a piece of melting ice. "EW!" She yelled as she tried to get the snow off her back. Her friend had grabbed the opportunity when Samantha was focused on Carolyn.

Samantha turned back around, trying to find Carolyn again. Carolyn was holding something, Samantha had no idea what it was. An idea popped up in the girl's head, she could just ask it. "I'm going, I will be back!" She yelled to her friends without an explanation.

The distance between Carolyn and Samantha was really big. Sam walked with big steps, trying to catch up. She could talk to Carolyn the attack! She had been there to, she would understand what it felt like. Maybe that would be a to serious topic to talk about right away. Sam could better start by talking about something else

First Samantha passed a playing cat. She wondered what it was doing here, as she didn't know it was Carolyn's cat. Samantha kept her distance from the cat. She didn't like animals, you never knew what they were going to do. She had been focused on the cat and hadn't payed attention to were Carolyn was.

She turned around trying to find Carolyn. She could see her groups of friends, who were now little figures, but she didn't see Carolyn. "Hello, Carolyn? Are you here?" The girl asked loudly as she walked around for a bit, still keeping her distance from the cat.

Samantha was smart to avoid the playing animal. Mordred was not the friendliest cat and he hardly ever got along with people that didn’t like his kind or were afraid of him. He did not approach the young girl but it didn’t take long for him to stop playing and watch the newcomer with great suspicion. He wouldn’t hiss or threaten her in any way as he was taught such behaviour was out of question but he was vigilant. The same however, couldn’t be said about his owner.

Carolyn was painting in the safety of her hiding spot and she definitely didn’t expect company. Therefore, when the voice reached her, she was quite surprised, especially since the person was looking for her in particular. The Ravenclaw surveyed her canvas…she got so distracted, she made an ugly black dot on her beautifully azure background. The girl frowned. Oh well…I’ll just fix it later. A plan including her favourite sea animal was already forming inside her head. For now however, there was a different situation to address.

Setting down the brush the raven-haired witch walked around the bushes to see, who was calling her name. The voice sounded extremely familiar yet she wasn’t able to place it until she actually saw the girl. “Samantha? What are you doing here?” Well obviously she was looking for her but why? “Did you need something?” She hesitated then. Usually Carolyn preferred painting alone but the young girl looked somewhat distraught. It seemed unkind to send her away immediately. “You wanna sit down for a moment?” She offered instead, pointing at the large log hidden behind the bushes. She could still continue painting even with the first year there. She was great at multitasking thank you very much.

@Eun-ji Lee Hunt

When Samantha noticed that the cat had stopped playing to watch her, she glared at him. Mordred looked at Sam with suspicion and the young girl answered his look by staring at him for a few seconds. She wondered what was going on in the mind of the animal. Did it want to attack her or was it curious to who she was? She shook her head, of course the cat didn't think that.

To Samantha's surprise Carolyn appeared from behind the bushes, just a few feet away from her. The young girl wondered what Carolyn had been doing over there, hidden from view. A little smile appeared on Samantha's face, she had found Carolyn.

"Well, I am here because I followed you." She giggled, "That sounds creepy, I am not creepy. I was over there," she pointed to her group of friends, "with my friends and then I saw you. So I followed you and then that cat," Samantha pointed at Mordred, "looked at me really angry, and I didn't know what it was going to do, so I looked back at it and I didn't see you anymore, so that's why I started call for you." She smiled, happy to share her story with Carolyn.

She wanted to talk about everything that had happend the night of the shadow spiders, but that wasn't a good first topic to start with. She had already decided that she would have to ask something else first, but she hadn't thought of what she was going to ask.

Her brain worked really hard trying to come up with an answer to Carolyn's question. It took Samantha a few more seconds to answer that she normally did. "Yes, well, er- I had a question about something from my homework." It wasn't technically a lie, she did have a question about her homework, but that wasn't why she had came here. Samantha is a really bad lair, whenever she told a lie she would always look away from that person.

This time was no exception, Samantha looked down as soon as she told Carolyn about the homework. "You are a second year and I am a first year, so you would probably already know about this topic since you would have had it last year, so that's why I came to you. Maybe you could help me with it" She looked up again with a little smile, she hoped that Carolyn hadn't noticed her little lie, which wasn't technically a lie.

Samantha looked at where Carolyn pointed to. It took her a moment to realize that Carolyn was pointing at a large log. "Yes, sure." Once she sat down she placed her hair behind her ear so she could take a good look around. She was really happy that Carolyn offered her a seat, well a log, but still, it meant that the older girl wanted Samantha to stick around and she wasn't sick of Sam.

Listening to Samantha's explanation made her raise her eyebrows and then sigh. "Yes, he tends to do that. Don't take it personally though. He is naturally grumpy around strangers." Not all of them, her brain reminded her unhelpfully but she wouldn't say so aloud. The young girl didn't need to know that. Instead, Carolyn looked at the group Sam pointed out. "I see..." she nodded in understanding. There was really not much else she could add to that but she admired her fellow Ravenclaw a little. Carolyn had exactly one friend at this time during her first year of studies. It was not easy for her to make friends.

"You don't mind if I continue working while we talk, do you? The paint will dry if I just leave it." The older girl explained but made sure to pay attention the first year while she was mixing her colours. It took some time for Sam to finally express why she followed her here. Carolyn didn't buy it. If she really needed help with homework, why wouldn't she find her in the common room or the library? She was there all the time. Why would she suddenly run off in the middle of playing with her friends? Surely, there was some other reason. The raven-haired witch would not call her out though. Perhaps she could really use the help and perhaps she was just having hard time expressing herself. Carolyn knew that feeling far too well.

"I see...well I can try for sure." Her average grade was "O" but that didn't mean she exceled at everything. Some classes, she was natural others were pure never-ending hard work. Still, Sam was right; she already passed all of the first year classes so she should be able to help the young girl. And so, Carolyn decided to go along with it. She didn’t mind helping other students with school assignments as long as they didn’t ask her to do it for them. She didn’t like people that passed their work to others without really trying. "So? What seems to be problem?" The raven-haired girl encouraged her new companion, letting her get comfortable and start talking in her own time. Meanwhile she repositioned her canvas so she wouldn't be facing away from Sam when she painted. In all honesty, she preferred to paint facing her surroundings but she was willing to make an exception today. Usually, Carolyn felt unprepared and vulnerable exposing her back to the world but today she was not alone so she wasn’t all that concerned.

@Eun-ji Lee Hunt

Carolyn talked about the cat like she knew him very well. Something clicked in Samantha's mind. "It's yours? The cat is yours? As in, it is your pet?" She asked with a slightly disgusted look on her face. Why would anybody willingly have an animal as their pet? Samantha didn't understand it, she would never in her whole life have a pet.

"Working? Paint? The brunette wondered what the older girl was talking about. It was only then that Sam saw that Carolyn was mixing colors. Samantha had been to busy with herself and the cat to really observe what was going on.

It was now clear to Samantha that Carolyn had been painting. Samantha didn't really understood art and wasn't into it at all. Maybe the black dot on the painting was suppose to look good, but in Samantha's opinion it was really ugly. The background on the other hand did look really pretty. It wasn't her favorite color, but it was a nice color.

She had been staring at the painting and had forgot that Carolyn had asked her a question. After looking at the painting for a few seconds Samantha realized that Carolyn had asked her if it was okay for her to continue working. "Owhh, yes, no, it's okay. You can just paint while we talk."

"Well, it is not so much a problem, it is just that I am not sure if I understood it right. So for charms we had to learn the umbrella spell, but we couldn't practice it in class." Samantha had found it really stupid that they couldn't practice it during the class because she loved to learn new spells. Of course she also like the theoretical stuff, but it was way cooler to see real magic instead of reading about it.

"As we couldn't practice it in class I had to look up the wand movement. I wasn't sure what it was, because I could only remember that the teacher said to point our wand at the sky. I thought that was a little to easy, so I looked it up and it also said there that you just had to point it at the sky. Is it really that easy?" She asked skeptically.

After Carolyn would have answered her question Samantha got up and walked towards the painting. "What are you painting?" She was trying to get a nice little conversation going before she would say anything about the attack. "Have you been painting for long?"

Even though Samantha hadn't want talk about it right away, it had been in the back of her mind the entire time. "Are you cursed to?" Samantha asked slowly, hesitating if she should even ask it. She sounded sad, but her face didn't show a clear emotion. Her eyes were a little larger then normal and she wasn't smiling, but it didn't look like she was going to cry.

The question had been really random, they hadn't been talking about the spider attack and it would make sense if Carolyn didn't understand what Samantha was talking about or at least not right away. The brunette wouldn't say anything until Carolyn said something. Samantha just looked at the other girl, patiently waiting for an answer.

"Indeed, Mordred is a dear friend of mine." Carolyn answered Sam's question, making a mental note of her expression. It looked like she wasn't fond of cats. In that case, she wasn't too angry with her furry companion. She also distrusted people that didn't like animals. Being allergic? Scared? That she could understand but pure dislike just didn't make sense in her world. Still, Samantha was young and clearly bothered by something so Carolyn decided to let it go. They were not friends anyway and it was not her place to judge. The girl was free to like and dislike anything she wanted.

Thankfully, the situation soon blew over as they moved back to the safety of the bushes. Sam briefly stopped to look at the painting but didn't ask anything so besides asking if she could continue, Carolyn didn't feel the need to comment on it either. "The umbrella spell? Oh...well yes. It's as easy as it sounds. Some spells have complicated hand movement while others don't. For example Ferula, the bandaging charm? " She looked at the first year, unsure whether she even heard of it. Carolyn had yet to learn that one herself since it was taught in 3rd year but she was very familiar with it thanks to her mother. "You just tap the wound and say the incantation. No complex hand movement necessary." As she finished the thought, she went back to her painting. The light blue was now interwoven with other shades of blue, black and white so it started to look a little bit more like underwater ocean. The glaring black dot was still there though but she would get to it soon...

"Hmm?" Carolyn looked at the young girl, who apparently decided to join her. Now she was more sure than ever that Sam wasn't here just because of the homework. Had that been the case, she could have just thanked her and go re-join her friends. Seeing as she didn't, there was probably something else on her mind. "I was thinking ocean...if everything goes well. You already altered my plan a little..." She pointed at the black dot that was caused by Sam’s sudden call. "It’s okay though. Art doesn’t have to be planned." The witch usually liked, sticking to the plan but creating art was indeed an exception to that rule."Since I was four I think? However, that was more of a scribbling than art really. I took some classes but it's just an occasional hobby...can be quite relaxing." She wouldn't go into more detail since she wasn't sure whether the freshman actually cared or whether she was just stalling. Carolyn would humour her for now though, waiting patiently.

"Are you cursed too?" This made Carolyn turn towards her fellow Ravenclaw. So this was her reason for her unexpected visit? The older girl knew quite well what she was referring to. It hasn’t been THAT long since the attack and it was not something one could easily forget. Their interaction in the hospital wing also somewhat explained why Sam chose to ask her specifically though she wasn’t sure what was expected from her. At least she isn’t crying this time. There was only so much tears she could bear. Carolyn wished she was less uncomfortable with strong emotions and she envied people that were able to let themselves go but she was simply raised differently.

Looking at the calm ocean filled with light above, the older girl wished she could be as peaceful as her painting yet while she was looking calm on the outside, there was often a raging battle going on underneath. Cursed… The witch thought she may have been cursed in more ways than one recently. That was an information for her and her alone though. "Yes, I am. While I wasn’t hurt as badly as many others, I did get bitten twice." She said instead, sounding as calm as ever. After all, there was not much she could do about it. If the adults struggled to solve the problem, how was she to do it? It was not that it didn’t bother her but Carolyn didn’t like to spend too much time focusing on stuff she couldn’t solve. It didn’t mean she forgot about it, she just tried to focus on something else. However, not everybody could do the same so she understood why Sam needed to talk about it. Going back to her painting, Carolyn gave the first year room to continue should she want to. She probably wasn't here just to ask that one question.

@Eun-ji Lee Hunt

"Mordred? That's a nice name, never heard of it!" She smiled, Samantha didn't get why anybody would have a pet. She didn't see how they were useful and only thought of them as a waste of time. Little did she know she would be owning a pet next year and would love the little owl extremely much.

"I have read about the bandaging charm, but I have never seen it, so I have no idea how the wand movement looks like." The brunette kept quiet as she listened to Carolyn, who seemed to know a lot about the charm. "Have you already learned that charm?" Sam asked, curious to know what she would get to learn in her next schoolyear.

Carolyn told about how Samantha had changed her plan, which surprise the first year. With wide eyes she asked, "I did?", and when she was told it was okay she smiled. She was afraid that she would have ruined the painting.

Samantha looked at the painting while Carolyn told answered her questions. The painting had changed a lot, it now looked really cool. The colors Carolyn had added made it now look more like the ocean and Samantha took a moment took look at it. It was really amazing what people could do with paint, she would never be able to do that. The idea of turning a white canvas into something beautiful amazed Samantha. "Even though you call it a hobby, it looks pretty cool!"

Samantha watched as Carolyn calmly talked about the curse. Samantha wondered how the older girl could stay so calm, like they were talking about the weather. "How come you are so calm? Aren't you scared?" She asked sounding very confused.

"I haven't told my parents about the attack. I know they would freak out, they are muggles you see, so they don't understand magic. I mean they have all rights to freak out, but I just don't want them to pull me out of school, because they think it is to dangerous here." She sighed, she had finally found a place she belonged. She felt at home at Hogwarts and didn't want to leave it anytime soon. "Did you talk with your parents about it?" She wanted to know how Carolyn handled the situation, maybe she could learn something from her.

Carolyn shook her head. "No, not yet. It is a third year spell but I’ve seen my mother use it a lot. She is a healer." The girl explained with a smile. She was proud of her parents; she just wished their job wouldn’t rob them of so much of their family time. Sometimes, she imagined she was a bit more selfish and told her parents as much but that’s not how her brain worked. "Well yes, I didn't expect anyone to follow me here. You took me by surprise." She said instead. Providing a further explanation about the painting incident. Carolyn was not angry though. It was just an opportunity to create something different. She looked at the offending black dot on her canvas thoughtfully and added some black paint onto her palette. "I suppose it's not bad. Not sure, if I actually have talent or if the extra effort paid off. I tend to work hard at everything I do even if I'm not striving to be the best at it," The witch shrugged. Such mindset was common in her family and she no longer thought it to be special.

Soon enough the conversation shifted to something more serious than art however. The raven-haired girl made sure to listen and nod occasionally but didn’t interrupt Sam otherwise. She did so only after the girl questioned her approach towards the situation at hand. "It's just who I am really. I was taught spending energy on something I can't solve won't help me. It doesn't mean I'm not scared, I just deal with the situation differently than you do." For now, it was the adults' turn to try and figure something out. "You are not wrong if you want to talk it out though. My grandma always says one shouldn't keep things bottled in. Smothering fears inside will only make you sick." Carolyn always found that particular advice funny. It was not wrong of course but it highly contradicted everything else the woman taught her. Openly talking about feelings among the Lee family was unusual to say the least. Nevertheless, it could be a good advice to someone.

"No, I haven't told them either." The Ravenclaw admitted without much hesitation. "I will though...and you should too." She gave Samantha a pointed look. "Trust doesn't fall from the sky even within family. Imagine how hurt and betrayed they would feel if they found out by accident" Carolyn understood her reasoning and she wasn't particularly eager to tell her parents either but she knew it was for the best. "Sit them down and explain everything. Not only what happened to you but how you feel about Hogwarts too. No matter how close you are, they can't read your mind and they don't know how you feel. It’s your job to help them understand." The witch truly believed most misunderstandings could be avoided if people communicated properly instead of assuming the other person knew what was going on in their mind. "And believe it or not, I think having muggle parents is actually your advantage. My mother is a witch and, like I mentioned before, a healer. She could very well pull me out of Hogwarts as she has the ability to help me. Your parents don't. I think they will come around but if they don't you can just say they don't have the necessary tools to take care of the affliction." It would have been a low blow but such was their reality. Until someone figured out how to get rid of the curse completely, all students depended on the special potions to keep them stable. "Don't use that one unless absolutely necessary though. Nobody likes to be put into corner like that." Carolyn warned the first year.

What am I even doing? Playing Yoda? The Revanclaw barely stopped herself from sighing. It was not like she knew Sam's parents. How was she supposed to predict their reactions? Well what's done is done. She thought as she started expanding the black dot with more black color. Samantha knew her parents the best and therefore it was her, who should decide whether the advice would do her any good or not.

@Eun-ji Lee Hunt

"A healer? That's so cool!" Samantha wished that her parents had such a cool job, helping people in need with magic of course. She knew it would be impossible that her parents would have any magical job, but she could still dream about it.

"Well, maybe it is both your hard work and your talent!" Samantha could relate to the working hard part, but not so much to not striving to be the best. The young girl always wanted to be the best at everything and if she wasn't good at something she would just not do it.

The brunette quietly listened to the wise words of the older girl. Carolyn was right, everybody deals differently with the situation. Talking was a good thing indeed, maybe Carolyn would want to talk about it with her? "Can I talk with you about it? I don't really know who else to go to." She looked at Carolyn with eyes filled with hope. Samantha liked the older girl and hoped that she wouldn't turn her down.

When Carolyn told Sam that she also hadn't told her parents about the attack, Samantha felt more confident. She hadn't been the only one who decided it was best not to tell them. But her confidence didn't last long, as Carolyn told her she should tell and gave her a pointed look. The young girl quickly looked down, she didn't want to tell them.

Her parents weren't going to find out by accident, right? "But-" she started a sentence, but quickly cut herself off. She shouldn't argue with Carolyn, the older girl was only trying to help. Besides, she had some good points. "Maybe." Samantha was still processing the words of Carolyn.

She listened and tried to proces everything that she was just told. "I geus you are right." She said as she watched Carolyn add more black to the painting. Samantha found watching Carolyn paint rather calming and it gave her some time to think.

After being silent for a couple of minutes and having thought about Carolyn's words Samantha spoke again. It was clear to her now that she had to tell it to her parents, but she had no idea how to do that. "It would be pretty bad if they found out by accident, but it is bad however they find out about the attack. I mean it would be the best if I told then, it would still be bad, but less bad, you know. But I don't want to write them a letter, because then it is just harder to talk about it and if they start to worry, which they most certainly will, they don't get an answer from me within minutes. They would have to wait for the owl to deliver their letter to me and for the new letter to arrive." Samantha became quiet again, she had no idea how to do this and hoped that Carolyn would be able to help her.