Slipping through the Cracks solo

^{Banner credits to Percival Rainwood}

English | French Word Count: 939

Date: 14 June 2024 Mentioning: @Fang Hui-Ying | @Colin McCoire |@Lucian Mornstern

Reducio

Reducio

Dear Beatrice,

I am reaching out in regards of your last letter. I am quite concerned as to how serious you are taking your Role as Prefect. I am, of course, happy you have earned this role at your school, however I fear this newfound responsibility has given you a wrong image of our society and how you shall grow up. You say, that this Role may help you in your future career and that it shall look good on a resume. I do not want you to believe you shall need to think of such silly ideas. Your duty is to marry wealthy and powerful, to help our family and to bring honor to our name. You shall do this by a betrothal to a man of pure blood and wealth, who you may grow a family with. You will gain power and a place in our society through him, not through becoming a lonely working woman. Once you are married, you may choose to take on work but it won’t be anything of much importance, just like your Mother. Please do not mention any of this to her, I do not want her to get upset. We are excited to have you home this Summer Break.

Yours Sincerely

13 May 2024

One Month and one day had passed since the letter, that Beatrice had crumbled up and clenched in her left fist, had fallen into her hands. One month and one day since their family owl had picked on her finger when she took the letter. One month and one day since the laugh had been wiped from her face, as the words written sank into her skin like needles. One month and one day since her dreams had been ripped away like a feather in the wind. One month and one day sine Beatrice had last been seen performing Prefect duties with a sense of purpose. She had still had the Badge pinned to her Clothes that week and she had still acted as an authority figure when it was needed. But her mind had been a battlefield of possibilities. And yet, she had pushed herself to the worst possible outcome. No, he had pushed her. Her Fathers writing had stabbed her deep, killing the wordsmith within her and resulting into no more letters to home. It was like her wings had been cut, her legs broken, her mind, soul, heart pushed into a cage that limited the world to her Fathers view.

It was not as if she could disobey his wishes, his view. She had no choice and it was then that she realized. She was thirteen, four years away from becoming close to independent and doing what she wished. If Beatrice wanted to keep her good name, stay in the Dupont family and not lose everything that belonged to her, she would have to follow her families traditions. And she did so happily.. right? It was what they wished of her, what was the way to live in their society. There was no space for hoping, dreaming, making a choice on how her live was going to turn out. She was her father’s blood, his eldest daughter, his pride and joy next to Benedict, his heir. Deoxyribonucleic acid could not be stopped, it was running through her. Poisoning her insides with guilt and pressure. Pressure to be perfect, to be what they expected of her. Every imperfection was to be fixed and to be hidden away from the rest of the world, they should not see anything less than exquisite. Blurring the lines, fading, slipping through the cracks but being without fault on the outside. Beatrice had always thought she had inherited her Fathers wit, his sense for business, his ability to speak and catch everyone’s attention in the room with his smartness and knowledge. It was what made him such a remarkable figure and businessman, what drew other figures high in society to him. It is what he was made for and Beatrice thought she had also been made for this life. She had hoped.
The Prefect did not know how to feel anymore. Correction, former Prefect.

Clenching the letter harder, Beatrice looked out onto the Great Lake as her legs carried her fast, thinking of all the things she wanted that had been silly ideas. It had been ridiculous to think of becoming a Healer or taking another position of importance, a position in leadership. Stupid girl. She felt tears well up in her eyes, blurring the view of the sunset and mixing with anger that her dreams had been ripped away so easily and she could do nothing about it. Everything was falling apart as she slipped through the cracks and felt everything going wrong. She was mad, that she had no option but to follow her Father's wishes. Mad that Lucian was slipping away from her and that apparently something was pulling Colin’s mood down too now. Mad that she had given away her position as Prefect. Mad that she had to be nothing less than perfect but was destined to be married and become nothing but a beautiful star that was to be showed off. Mad at the world.
A scream sat at the roof of her mouth but was suffocated by a sob that made her stop in her tracks. She had been walking along the shore the whole time, but now she stumbled closer to the water and sat down on a rock, desperately resisting the urge to fall to her knees and scramble down into the water for a solution to her feelings. Beatrice wanted to feel nothing. She wanted to be numb so being perfect was easier.

Adelaide, that had been walking with her owner, nudged the girls arm and climbed into her lap, the dirty paws leaving marks on Beatrice’s white linen trousers. She closed her arms around the precious kitten and squished her face into her fur, hot tears now seeping from her eyes and rolling over her cheeks into the grey fur. Her breath hitched but Beatrice stayed silent as the emotions rolled over her and made bombshells exploded in her head. A hot sharp pain sat in the left side of her chest, a cold feeling creeping up her back and slowly starting to enfold her entirely. It was a feeling of hopelessness, horror, hatred and homesickness to a person that was no longer with them. He would have supported her wishes, she knew that. He would have supported her dreams, taught her what she needed to know, just as he had done when she was young. Her favorite person in the world, her grandfather. She rarely ever thought this intensely about him these days but now she couldn’t help it. She was alone, with no one there to support her. Alone with her stupid decisions, broken dreams and overwhelming feelings. All alone.

OOC Note: Enjoy Bea's little mental break down, no worries, emotions like this will hopefully not be frequent for my girls little heart.