Can't Fight These Feelings Anymore pv Finished

26 Sep 2021, 11:10

1600 Friday, September 03rd

Permission to Godmode given by @Winnie Harper

Final classes had just let out for the end of the day, and it was officially the start of the weekend with an hour of free time before supper. Santario was, however, far from excited there was too much going on in her head, and it was causing far more turmoil than it was anything else… What she wouldn’t give for something else. Something other than nightmares and confusion, but that was when a familiar blaze of red hair scorched the sea of black robes. Pterodactyl Girl. She didn’t see Mathias in sight which even Santario could not deny that this was a clandestine moment.

Santario moved quickly to catch up to the younger Ravenclaw. “Winnie Harper!” A call for her attention, and the moment she turned around to find the source of her name Santario would slink her arm around Winnie’s and pull her into an unused classroom shutting the door behind them. She would release her as soon as they were through the threshold, hoping that she hadn’t been too rough on the girl, but who knows. Santario fully expected to get hit if she were honest with herself, and she would probably deserve it. Quick words would try to stave off any well-deserved affront. “I’m sorry, Winnie. I just really need someone to talk to, and I feel like I am going crazy… You well you have a boyfriend you know about these things. Please help me.” The look on the Slytherin’s face would betray precisely how helpless she felt.

Now all she had to do was wait and find out if the girl would be willing to listen to her; regardless, she would set her leaf-shaped book bag down on a desk as she awaited her fate. Winnie hardly knew her and vice versa if she were, to be honest. They had met over the summer and again during summer camp, but it seemed like she had not made a memorable enough impression. Truth be told, all San really remembered was Winnie at the fall ball screeching like a prehistoric dinosaur at Mathias, and now they were somehow dating. Santario understood that less than she understood the things going on in her head.

30 Sep 2021, 20:26

DATE ▪ 09/03/21
OUTFIT ▪ Uniform

INTERACTIONS:
▪ @Santario Martin ▪

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Blissful ignorance surrounded Winifred Harper in a sparkling pink fog. It was dazzling and distracting, pulling her attention away from the dread that would pool in the bit of her stomach whenever she thought about her lost memories. She was under the assumption that her doting boyfriend, Mathias Pride, was just as amoured with her as she was with him. Despite having tossed and turned the night prior to nightmares of Levi Drakos poisoning the chocolate covered strawberries he had offered her on their dared 'date', it was with a skip that Winnie Harper made her way down the hall. She had realized the night prior just what she felt for Matt, and the feelings of whatever a girl her age would consider love had put her in a positive mood, despite the dreaded realization and the rift between her and Jack.

Yes, she loved Matt. Nothing could come between them, not even a jealous sociopath's attempts to make her forget him. It was between classes and Winnie was headed towards the Ravenclaw common room. Where was Matt? Presumably somewhere safe, if she had kept her promise to walk him to class. Winnie, on the other hand, was in need of a good nap. Her strength and reaction time was down due to lack of sleep, so when the Slytherin's arm slinked around her, she had little to no time to reaction. "Ah?" She blinked in surprise when she was pulled into an empty classroom by the girl that had been present during her game of Spin the Bottle. She had been someone who claimed to know Winnie, despite the girl's apparent confusion when she asked her about her summer.

She did not even remember the girl, yet she felt an overwhelming desire to help her when she explained herself. The beautiful Slytherin was in need of advice and as a girl with a boyfriend, it looked like Winnie was the one who was going to give it. "O-Oh of course! I'd be happy to help you." There had to be a way for her to figure out the girl's name, right? She glanced towards her backpack in an attempt to see if her name was scribbled somewhere on it. No such luck. Well, she would let the girl vent to her before sharing her own news... That someone had stolen her memories from her. "What do you want to know?"

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EN
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STA: 15 • EVA: 18 • STR: 8
WIS: 11 • ARC: 7 • ACC: 17

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• Healing Sage • Muggle Condition • Paragon of Health •
• Poison Resistance • Animagus • Wandmaker • Lovely Creature •

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FELIX:
ORION:

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3 Oct 2021, 23:13

@Winnie Harper

Oh, thank Merlin, she hadn’t been hit quite the opposite; in fact, it seemed she was more than willing to help. Santario let out a breath she hadn’t known she had been holding as she pushed herself up onto an empty desk and crossed her legs. “Well… There is ah… Well, there is this boy.” She had barely gotten any words out, and this was already proving to be challenging than she had expected. In fact, it felt more like she was sitting in the headmaster’s office trying to explain why she was in trouble than simply confessing her feelings for someone to another girl.

“Okay, so there is this boy.” She said that already, but now that the flood gate was open, here came the word vomit. “Out interactions for the first two years of school have been pretty indifferent to each other, but right before summer. Well, right before summer, we were working on a project together, and he really made me laugh, and he was playful. He kind of helped me forget, even if for a little while, some of the bad things that I have been through. Then over the summer, I watched him in one of the sports, and he got hurt… Honestly, Winnie, I was ready to fight someone over it.” She ran both of her hands through her hair, pushing it away from her face but still didn’t directly look at Winnie while she spoke.

“Then I found this flower that is really symbolically important to him and his family. So I showed it to him, and He gave me one and told me that he hoped it would mean a lot to me in the future and that no matter how I feel, it will always be there for me like it had his family… And he touched my hand and brushed the hair out of my face. Then he smudged dirt on my nose as payback for me wiping dirt on his face before summer." If Santario had taken a breath while giving Winnie a rollercoaster ride of an explanation, it was imperceptible. She propped her elbows on her knees and rested her chin in her hands.

Just like a late-night infomercial, wait, there is more! "And I am like, Get it together, Santario, he is just a boy! But... He is also a nice boy who really makes me laugh, and the world gets really calm when I am near him. Peaceful even. Sometimes we bicker, but I do not care; I just like to be around him... Winnie, help. I do not know what I am doing here and honestly for a second I thought he was going to... Well, it does not matter he did not. I do not get all this stuff." There were many things she understood. Books, her classwork, how to frame a face within the perfect lighting and angles to take a perfect photo. It would seem that feelings were where the line was drawn.

4 Oct 2021, 17:50

DATE ▪ 09/03/21
OUTFIT ▪ Uniform

INTERACTIONS:
▪ @Santario Martin ▪

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Upon the Slytherin's conformation that this was indeed about a boy, Winnie couldn't help but edge closer to her. The Ravenclaw's eyes lit up, excited to hear the girl's tale of whimsy. What sort of beautiful romance had the dark-haired beauty crafted? She sighed softly, it was a happy sound that pressed past her lips, one originating from a girl that thought she herself was in love. "That's wonderful." She hummed, her voice a daze of dream-like whispers and fairytales. She was in her own head again, and it took her a moment to realize that she would have to elaborate on what she meant.

"You know, feelings can change very easily." She smiled, a blush lighting her features as she idly brushed her fingers through her hip length hair. If poor Santario could have heard the girl's thoughts, they likely would have just been an echo of her boyfriend's name over and over again. 'Just like Matt and I. Oh, Mattie, my sweet Matt!' Thank Merlin the girl presumably didn't have the ability to read minds. "Just because you dislike someone, doesn't mean you can't grow to like them. That's how it started out with Matt and I... I hated him at first." She echoed the words that Mathias had told her the night prior, "We fought at the ball, but he apologized to me afterwards and then we grew closer. Things changed. Just like they are changing for you!" She clasped her hands together, resting her chin ontop of them as she gazed up at the Slytherin. It was clear the girl was excited for her, regardless of whether or not she remembered her.

Oh my God. HE HAD SAID WHAT TO HER? Winnie felt like the tale was ripped straight from the romance novels that her mother liked to read and Winnie liked to secretly steal from her to devour in a single night. She could see the girl was a bit confused, though, and didn't want to jump up and down squealing just yet. "O-Oh wow, that's... So sweet." She managed to swallow the burst of energy the story had given her. "It sounds like he really cares about you and wants you to be a part of his future." She told her rather bluntly. Why else would he have said something like that? It basically sounded like the boy was asking the girl to marry him, for Merlin's sake! If this had been a Jane Austen novel, their courtship would have been official after such a statement!

Winnie tried to offer the girl, whose name was Santario, a smile, a hand reached out to pat her shoulder, but she suddenly paused just before touching the girl. 'No, don't touch her.' An echoed voice in her mind reminded her. She wasn't certain where it had come from or why, but she would withdraw her hand. "Hey, it's okay Santario." She repeated her name as to not forget it again. "The thing about these feelings is that they're not supposed to make sense. No one our age really knows what they're doing." She shrugged her shoulders. "Matt makes me feel flustered and happy. It's confusing, but... You don't have to know exactly how you feel right away; you can take some time to figure it out. The way I see it is that if this boy offers you moments of peace and laughter, it's not a bad thing at all."

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EN
CY

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STA: 15 • EVA: 18 • STR: 8
WIS: 11 • ARC: 7 • ACC: 17

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• Healing Sage • Muggle Condition • Paragon of Health •
• Poison Resistance • Animagus • Wandmaker • Lovely Creature •

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FELIX:
ORION:

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4 Oct 2021, 22:48

@Winnie Harper

She heard what Winnie was saying; she was just too wrapped up in her own head to be the proper girl she was raised to be. If her grandmother had seen her act like this, it would have been a catastrophic event. Oh, Merlin! Her grandmother could never find out about this because there would be an official invitation extended to his family to stay at their château in France if she did. Granted, spending more time with him wouldn’t be the problem… It would be the plans her grandmother would try to set in motion, and it would make everything else feel less natural.

Was it wonderful, though? The people she cared about tended to get hurt or leave one way or another. She knew what her goal in life was, and it was to hunt down and murder the three people that murdered her parents. She didn’t want Percival anywhere near that or near her when she was like that. What if they hurt him? What if he died because of her? A deep pang of pain consumed her heart… But in the end, Santario was still a little selfish, and a part of her really wanted this. “You really think he feels like that?” She knew Winnie’s answer would be yes she had already expressed that much. Her eyes snapped towards Winnie’s hand as it got close to her, but the girl withdrew last second, and Santario frowned.

She looked at Winnie’s face, sharp eyes making contact if Winnie didn’t look away. “You do remember.” An edge appeared in her voice. It was not a question but a factual statement. Santario gracefully pushed herself off the desk and observed the girl. All worries that she was falling head over heels for her patrol partner were gone for the moment. Santario’s face fell into a calm and calculated façade, something most people took as indifferent. “Over the summer. At spin the bottle, you did not seem to remember me at all, but you stopping yourself from touching me was remembering. At your grandparent’s bookstore, I told you that I did not like to be touched, and you apologized to me but thanked me for telling you. And just now, you remembered. Winnie, what is going on with you?” Suspicion was on the rise, and a controlled rage was starting to boil inside of her. Winnie was ditzy, flighty, and clumsy, and while she was confident the girl was intelligent, she did not think her capable of something more sinister.

4 Oct 2021, 23:17

DATE ▪ 09/03/21
OUTFIT ▪ Uniform

INTERACTIONS:
▪ @Santario Martin ▪

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Winnie could tell by San's silence that she was lost in thought. She would stay silent until spoken to, allowing the girl to connect the pieces or think over whatever scenarios were unraveling within her head. "I know he does. I don't even know who he is, but... Seems obvious to me." She offered the girl another smile.

The girl named Santario's demeanor seemed to swift so quickly it was as if someone had flicked on a light switch. Winnie felt a shiver run up her spine as the girl approached her accusingly. A flush would heat up her cheeks, her blue eyes widening at that stare. "Oh... I-I was actually going to talk to you about that..." Her own face shifted as a frown pulled at her lips. "Over the summer... I... I lost my memories." It was the first time she had admitted it out loud and the realization that they were truly gone made her eyes well with tears. "Someone fed me food laced with something. I don't know what, but... I lost months of my life... Sometimes I feel like I might remember something, a song or a moment, but then it's gone again. Like just now... Something told me not to touch you, but... I can't remember meeting you, Santario... I only know your name because you said it just now. I'm.. I'm really sorry." She would wrongly assume the girl was angry at her because she had forgotten her. A lot of people had met her loss of memories with aggression, so she was hesitate to tell anyone about it. It seemed that Santario must have known her well, or was able to read people well.

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EN
CY

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STA: 15 • EVA: 18 • STR: 8
WIS: 11 • ARC: 7 • ACC: 17

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• Healing Sage • Muggle Condition • Paragon of Health •
• Poison Resistance • Animagus • Wandmaker • Lovely Creature •

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FELIX:
ORION:

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5 Oct 2021, 00:12

@Winnie Harper

She wanted to talk to her about it? That was something that she had not expected to hear the younger Ravenclaw say, considering they weren’t really close… Then again, Santario had just poured her heart out to the girl, so she guessed that’s just the kind of day it was going to be today. She took in every reaction the girl seemed to have, from the flush of her cheeks to the glassing over her eyes as tears started to form. The fact that Winnie was about to be in tears made Santario’s jaw clench, but the real kicker was that someone had screwed with her memories.

There were two things that Santario truly abhorred making people drink a love potion and messing with their memories. It took away free will and fundamentally screwed with who a person truly was. “Months?” She repeated with venom. Her brows raised up. It would have had to have been quite a bit for it to be that much and permanent. Santario swallowed hard as cold fury danced behind her eyes like bluebell flames. Unfortunately, Winnie would have every right to assume Santario was angry with her, every outward appearance told her she was, but Santario was far from it.

Santario reached forward and attempted to grab Winnie by the wrist. Feel free to dodge if you wish If Santario was successful, she would pull Winnie into an embrace, her voice calmer, but she spoke through gritted teeth. “Do not dare apologize to me for what some lowlife piece of shit who does not deserve to breathe your air has done to you.” She would hold Winnie in the embrace, assuming she was successful in the first place. She would put her lips a lot closer to Winnie’s ear, and this time her words would rumble through her throat in a sinister whisper. “Give me a name.”

5 Oct 2021, 01:18

DATE ▪ 09/03/21
OUTFIT ▪ Uniform

INTERACTIONS:
▪ @Santario Martin ▪

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Winnie's heart raced against her chest at Santario's response to her reveal. "Yes... I... I should have told you sooner." She admitted in a small voice. "It took a while for me to accept that they were gone, though. I thought I was going crazy for a bit... It wasn't until just recently t-that I realized..." Her throat felt dry as she tried to explain herself to the Slytherin. It wasn't as if someone told you 'hey I just erased your memories' right after doing so. She had instead been left in a daze, having to fend for herself with what she could piece together and Matt's guidance. Her boyfriend's memory had seemingly been messed with as well.

When the older girl grabbed her by the wrist, Winnie half feared a punch to the face would follow. Instead, she found herself pressed up against the girl's body, wrapped up in a warm hug. She blinked in surprise, salty tears trailing down her flushed cheeks as she took a moment to register what was happening. The girl who had just told her she didn't like to be touched was hugging her. The floodgates would burst open in that moment, her tears spilling down her face. "T-Thank you..." She gasped in relief, still a bit confused but understanding that her anger wasn't focused on her. "I-I think it w-was... Levi... Levi Drakos."

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EN
CY

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STA: 15 • EVA: 18 • STR: 8
WIS: 11 • ARC: 7 • ACC: 17

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• Healing Sage • Muggle Condition • Paragon of Health •
• Poison Resistance • Animagus • Wandmaker • Lovely Creature •

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FELIX:
ORION:

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5 Oct 2021, 12:41

@Winnie Harper

Winnie had been under no actual obligation to tell her sooner; after all, they had only had a small interaction at spin the bottle, which was basically at the very end of summer as it was. After that, Santario had been busy getting used to being a Prefect still. As Winnie thanked her, Santario squeezed just a little tighter trying to give Winnie the same kind of hug that Santario remembered getting when she was upset, knowing that it wouldn’t be the same, but at least she was trying.

Then a name was spoken, and Santario’s eyes went wide. Levi Drakos. Memories started cropping up his face and that stupid shit-eating grin he had tried to pass as charming when he interrupted her time at that café in Dublin. Their interactions at summer camp how he had just been fortuitous enough to overhear an assault on her by her cousin. Spin the bottle where she had given him a very brief hug in thanks for his discretion on the cousin issue. What seemed to stick with her the most was that stupid look on his face when they first met, and now, she wanted to introduce it to a wall repeatedly. An ironic feeling considering she usually admonished people for such acts of physical violence.

After some time, she would gently pull away from Winnie, her face unreadable as she created one hundred different scenarios. She would use the sleeve of her robe to wipe away any remaining tears on the girl’s face while staring into her eyes. “I cannot get your memories back, and, likely, they never will come back, but I can help make this right. I am going to help you learn how to protect yourself. Not today, but soon, we will not let something like this happen to you again. I promise you that I will do something about this.” She was going to find a way to destroy him; it would take some time, but she would find a way. After all, who would believe him over her anyway? “Take some deep breaths and try to calm down. I am sure you have someone waiting for you somewhere, yes?” She, of course, meant the girl’s boyfriend, and even if he wasn’t waiting for somewhere, the Ravenclaw would have homework to do. “Be careful who you trust and remember to always watch you back with those you think you can.” Yes, that included even her, but more importantly, everyone else as well.