Fly Away PV Ivy Bellamy Closed

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Saturday, 7 September 2019, early afternoon
Partly cloudy, around 16 degrees C
Private to @Ivy Bellamy

The first Saturday morning of Ruby's second year had come and gone. The year had barely started, but already she was looking for some respite from the feelings that were occurring. She was not fully recovered from the events that had happened this summer, and she wasn't used to these particular emotions, having not felt them this much previously. The shock at the betrayal, the internal turmoil from finding out that her parents had lied to her for almost her entire life, the anger at them for that and as an attempt to cover up her true sadness, and the jealousy at them seeming to love her brother so much more than her were all things that she was relatively unaccustomed to, but they were hitting her even harder now that she had a chance to process it away from her family.

She didn't know who to turn to or where to go. She had made plenty of good friends in her first year, but she wasn't sure where to find them and if they were even right for what she needed right now. A few days ago, she had been trying to get a break from everything and retreat to the Great Lake, but instead, she had come across a crying girl who she had comforted and a seemingly ill-tempered girl who had initially worsened the situation. She put her own feelings aside for it, because she saw that there was a person in need of support and the Slytherin didn't have the heart to be mean to such an innocent-looking student who had done no harm.

But Ruby needed help, needed someone to be there to catch her when she fell, because, while she didn't know it yet, the fall had only just begun. Heavy footfalls echoed quietly as she trudged up the steps to the owlery. It was where she had spent some of the beginning of her first year—despite the stench and the mess, she found comfort in being around the creatures and being able to perch in the window, staring down at the people and forest below. She entered the cylindrical room with a sigh, climbing to the spot where she used to sit last year. It felt like so long ago when she had met Henry Reed and then never seen him again. That boy had been one of her first friends, developing a promising relationship with her that day before vanishing. He had comforted her, given her a hug when a single tear had fallen loose.

She was no longer in contact with so many people she had met then. Were they still around and she wasn't bumping into them at all, did they just leave the school, or was something more sinister going on? The people who she had cared about, who had started to show her what love was… where were they now? Long, thin fingers tapped on the surface beside her as she peered out of the window, looking up at the grey clouds that obscured part of the blue sky. Was that what she was now? Just a cloudy day? Something that most people wanted to be done with. Something that prevented the sun's rays from bathing the land in light and heat. Something that prevented the brilliant blues of a clear sky from being seen. Was she an obstruction? Another day that would soon pass?

With all her heart, she hoped not. She wanted to mean something, she wanted her life to make a difference, because she simply couldn't stand the alternative. Perhaps today was a dull day, perhaps this year was, but despite what she was feeling, she hoped that she could recover. She had to make her life meaningful and she would do whatever she had to in order to be remembered, whether it was for good deeds or bad ones. Would she succeed? That was yet to be determined. In her first year, she wanted to use magic to save the world. She was prepared to devote everything to it. Now, she wasn't so sure. How could someone so angry do that? How could someone do that if their parents didn't even believe in them, felt dissatisfied with them regardless of what they did?

Was it all because she wasn't in Gryffindor? She found that incredibly stupid and hard to believe. She wasn't aware of it yet, but there was far more to it than just her sorting. Nevertheless, she was frustrated with the lies and confusion, and she felt alone because of it. Yes, she was aware that she had many friends, but it didn't make the familial rejection any easier. She closed her eyes for a moment, squeezing them shut and clenching her hands into fists before slowly reopening them. Inhaling sharply, she basked in the feeling of the cold air on her face. It brought her back to reality. Why was she even here? She wasn't expecting a letter from her parents—it wasn't like they had anything to say to her, and she wouldn't have wanted to hear it anyway.

She was searching for the sense of belonging that she had managed to find in her first year, the love and acceptance she had received for just being herself, but it was nowhere to be found. With a swift motion, she buried her face in her palms, her fingers holding the top of her head as if she would explode if she let go—and she very well might have. A silent tear fell, caught by her hands, and then another. A second later and they were uncontrollable, the stream of water trickling down her cheeks as quiet sobs shook her small body. Her world was falling apart and she didn't know how to put it back together. She wanted to get away, she wanted to just fly away like the owls that entered and exited the room with ease.

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