Ridiculously wrong answers!

To eat a bunch of flowers and stare directly into the sun.

How do I grow a plant?

By ignoring it for days

how do I cook

Put some dirt and chemicals into a wheel barrow and feel it to the trolls in your backyard.

How do I sweep a chimney ?

By pouring all of your ash down it

what's a chicken

A fossil fuel obtained by destroying clay cookware and screaming random incoherent things

Why am I so tired?

Well, you see, @Joseph Sims, you are tired for a few very troubling reasons. First, there are sixteen Thestrals having sleepovers under your bed every night. Despite their friendly demeanor, they are having back pain from squishing all sixteen of them under your bed! Their pain has spread to you in the form of phantom, mental pain! Second, Eonaria accidentally spilled a little of her incomplete Sleeping Draught in your drink! On second thought... you heard nothing! Eonaria does not bring unfinished potions into the Great Hall! shhhhhh....

Who stole the rat that lives in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom??

A really hairy monkey who snuck into hogwarts somehow

how do i sleep better

You stay up til 4am partying! Woohoo!

How do I take a photo?

You make people stand still and then you throw a camera and a handful of pencils at them while making them yell descriptions of what you want to take a picture of.

How do I yell at someone?

To yell at someone simply stand at the other end of the room and stare at them until they get uncomfortable. After you have successfully done that whisper as quietly as possible what you want to say.

How do they I have a pillow fight