The Lion’s Challenge

There was a time on a previous community of mine where the administration was accusing someone was something that they did not do. They conflated did with might and treated the poor fellow with such. It was cruel and I stood up to the group, only place I have been extricated from but it was worth it.

Whoa!

I remember having a mishap during a street show a long time ago where my equipment broke halfway through. It's always a slightly awkward but naturally common thing to happen (there's never such thing as a "perfect" show ) but to me all the way back then, it was my worst case scenario because I thought I'd look like a deer in headlights if something like that happened... I was very good at worrying back then... And still am today!

But I remember making a joke about it when it happened and it took the tension off when the crowd laughed. So in a sense, I learnt how to improv for the first time back then too! I felt heckin' proud of that

IC-wise, Emily will be doing something a little daring pretty soon-ish... I just need time to sit down and write the solo for it!

IC: In her first year, Kaitlyn flew high in the air to help a classmate back to the ground, despite her own fear of flying. They landed safely. (and started Kaitlyn’s desire to want to help people).

OOC: At a job I had a few years ago, tutoring math, I had to step in and correct inaccuracies with worksheets and answer keys that were completely wrong.

Ooc I’ve had to stand up to an acquaintance because they had different morals than several other people, including myself, when it came to school and cheating. Proud of myself for standing up for mine and others beliefs and boundaries.

Content Warning: This is all OOC and it features cyberbullying, bullying, and essentially to summarize the first story of three, its more so bribing and defiance.


Maybe it makes me seem kind of pathetic, but in all honesty, 2022 Talent Show, there was a group that were told not to perform a specific song that they auditioned with ([bad word] the police) because it was something the theater teacher wasn't allowed to have played. Well, they played Lithium by Nirvana, but they bribed the person opening and closing the curtains to leave it open, they bribed their fellow bandmates from band to cheer them on, to advocate for a second song (when they were supposed to only do one, and one that was approved.), and they defied what the theater teacher was telling them to do. I had no idea what to do. I knew it wasn't supposed to happen.

I never mention it, but what I did do is make my way around to the other side of the stage while the principal and theater teacher were making their way from the back of the house to the stage, and I was getting ready to close the curtains before they finished the song. I was next up to host the next group so with what they did, I didn't know what to say.. or do. I will say, they were performing in the second half of the show, so during intermission while they were getting set up, they were going around offering bribes to people to do what they wanted them to do. I didn't take it, but at the same time I was very confused, until I saw why. My co-host was also confused. She also did not take the bribe.

So I guess my act of courageousness is that I didn't take the bribe and that I was going to close the curtains? The reason I say that is because, perhaps courage isn't super bold, but it's the choices you make. Closing the curtains is an act of initiative. Not taking the money was not giving in to peer pressure.

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Another scenario. It's daunting to be deaf, surrounded by hearing people, worried that you'd be judged every which way, every move you make. I loved public school, don't get me wrong, but I never fit in. The first time I ever "acted" and the last time, before high school, was in elementary school productions of The Three Little Pigs (Big Bad Wolf), Pinocchio (Pinocchio), and The Giving Tree (as the Giving Tree). I was so bloody scared in 2022 Spring when I was auditioning for the first time in a long while (not including talent shows) because it required me to sing and have a monologue. The show was Footloose.

Hell, I was a horrible singer, and I am well aware of it. That's why I was so scared to do that audition, the monologue was nothing, even though I was a bit nervous I'd fumble, the singing was the worst part. I had to sing a song. I panicked waiting for my turn, and when it was my turn, my heart beat so fast that it felt like it was barely thudding.

I made it onto the stage and I did my monologue then the music turned on, and I had to sing. You couldn't even hear me in the back of the house. Nor in the pit. My brows sweat, my hands twitched, my eyes paced back and forth. I was scared. I still attempted to sing anyways.

Needless to say, I became Principal Clark in Footloose, and I just had to mouth the songs (thank god, but I didn't get that chance in Frozen I actually had to sing )

So what is the courageousness in this story? I faced my anxiety, my fear head on. I still tried to sing, I still did my monologue. I didn't run out of the theater or change my classes or change my school because of how scared I was and how humiliated I was afterwards (It was also the only musical audition that I had that was in front of a crowd of people so ;-;)

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Clue. Fall 2022. As said, I'm not new to acting, but luckily this production was not a musical. (thankfully). My problem was not auditioning as it was the semester before, it is rather because of a mean girl and of the boy who hated me. God, I hate them both. They triggered my anxiety, my discomfort.

Clue, we were in November, a month before the performance in where I was set to play Mr. Boddy, when rumors came out, completely false as they were, that destroyed me and people's reputation with me. No one wanted to hang out with me. They made up rumors about me in the boys dressing room. They later confessed it was false. They made up rumors that would get me arrested and later also confessed it was false. This started how?

I offered to help someone write their little simple bio for the playbill on snapchat. Well, I got yelled at and fussed at, and I will say that whole scenario made me incredibly sad, in terms of making me cry. I said "I'm sorry to hear that [name], would you want to go do [fun thing that is incredibly local so I cannae dox ] with us?" to a girl.

She went off her rocker antagonizing me. I got snaps from other people that were friended with them that told me to stop and to just quit it. Not long after, we were trying costumes on for rehearsals and one thing I never talk about, is how I was supposed to die the second time around and when I was thrown onto the desk into the study, it felt personal.

I continued getting messages talking bad about me. I continued being hurt. But I still showed up. Did I talk to anyone outside of speaking my lines? No. Later I found that this continued on instagram.

This is the reason I no longer use instagram or snapchat.

I reported it to the principal, for cyberbullying, and when the girl and the boy got in trouble, they made it worse for me by creating rumors that destroyed me. I lost people that i thought were friends. I lost someone that I thought was my best friend.

Good god, I didn't think my heart could sink any lower. I was in tears. I was depressed. I was anxious and I was scared. But I never stopped being Mr. Boddy for clue. I didn't quit. I pursued.

I did my best to avoid the two, to hope that it wouldn't get worse. Eventually, the theater teacher decided to tell the girl that she wasn't allowed to join Frozen if I was on it. I was, but you should know that I switched my classes initially before theater teacher begged me to be in theater for this show, so I switched it back.

Frozen 2023 Spring. The entire three months upon the end of winter break was me being so uncomfortable so scared to sing and talk and look at the girl that was responsible for ruining me (because she would keep coming in and taking part in the show's choreo and rehearsals even though she wasn't in it). I even had an amythest necklace I would fiddle with every time I got anxiety and fear. I fiddled with it a lot that semester.

Needless to say, I eventually got over it by doing private singing sessions with someone who works at a dinner theater who was helping us, and with someone who teaches choir at a college, so I was trying to learn my lines and my notes. I just couldn't do it if she was around. I couldn't stand to be around someone who I thought was my best friend either. When the show rolled around, I stuck with it, taking on the facade of my characters (ensemble in frozen).

Show ended. Graduation rolled around. I was part of the choir singing Homeward Bound, and this was alongside the boy and the girl. I would pretend they weren't there. After that, I severed all my bonds with people I knew in high school, except for the best friend I made that semester that couldn't even stand for what my ex-best friend did.

So in this long story.. what are the courageous moments? I reported the cyberbullying. I didn't quit from my roles just because I was uncomfortable and anxious and scared. I severed my ties for my well-being. I shared a stage with people I did not like. I'm still hurt and I guess you could say, scarred. But I grew resilience and was able to face things head on.

It took me years to overcome my fear of failing for more than half my life I always turned down any opportunities that came my way, rejecting chances to gain many valuable experiences and skills that could have been mine had I taken the risk more courageously... my fear was reinforced by stories of those who took the risk but messed up big time and landed themselves in a situation worse than mine. Of course, there would be those who found success, but as much as I envied them, the simple possibility of failing was overwhelming.

Being yk, a kinda reflective lad, after a while, I figured something had to change, or while playing safe and avoiding everything bad, I'd continue to miss out on everything good. The last thing I wanted was to look back at my life before it comes to an end and regret living such a mundane life...
So the change started. It wasn't an overnight change, it sure took time. And a whole lot of courage. I started from small things like volunteering to be the one requesting stuff in spite of possible rejection to bigger stuff like taking up leadership roles and voluntarily participating in bigger competitions and events.

I'm still learning, after all, I'm FAR from perfect, but I'm making progress, and that's what matters.
And if I wanna make more progress... I'm gonna need a whole lot more Gryffindor courage

mmm taking risks courageously is important but maybe 120 IC potion doses is a bit of an overkill XD

I hate talking to people; I fear of making a mistake in front of everyone, as I become enthusiastic when talking and blabber things that will definitely bore people to death. Not only that, I stutter a lot as thoughts also rushes to be out there from my mind and it is a difficult practice to compartmentalise one's thoughts. I had to do school presentations with scripts, memorised by heart, under a pretense of false confidence. People around me admire that confidence, which did appeases my people pleasing issues. I sounded vicious in real life, to actually say the least.

I am trying to overcome my fear of failing and conversing personally with other people. As with unforeseeable circumstances where I have to work whilst studying, my current work involves talking to particularly irate costumers. Sometimes it triggers my deep-rooted issues and anxiety as sometimes costumers resort to actual name-calling and profanities in deep frustration; however, I get it, plus I persevere every day. I am surviving and I feel proud after the fact. Grades both in career and academic pursuits actually still defines me, but at least I am trying to break free from those chains that constricts me.

Additionally, my people-pleasing tendencies is remarkably toned down, in which I don't change my entirety for another person in order to be accepted. I already realised that I am such a wonderful person and my imperfections made me particularly unique. I am working on the aforementioned unresolved issues, but I believe that baby steps are a brave movement of me.

OOC — I think generally I have in recent weeks and months been trying to stand up for marginalized people and communities.

IC — Courage is an important part of Maisie's character. Recently, she refused to run away from a duel she knew she'd never win.

You have a high sense of social issues! Really appreciate that.

Sere always has the ambition of 'saving others' lives', and that's the point that makes her a Gryffindor. OOC, umm... actually... I'm not really afraid of anything, anyone.