29 Nov 2024, 01:51
To Get You There
october 19th, 2024 wc: 900ish interacting with: Scout Fu-Hai
@Emily Shephard / CaseyAs his feet carried him through the castle of Hogwarts and eventually outside, Zyair found himself wishing he hadn't left Sabrina in the first place. He hadn't seen her face, but he had heard her angrily call out after him. The sound alone was enough for his brain to fill in the rest, but he wished it hadn't. One crying person was almost too much for him to handle, but two? He was good at keeping people steady, not getting them calm when they were upset.
Considering before a few days ago he hadn't ever been to Hogwarts, he was already on the edge of getting lost. It wasn't too dark outside yet, but it was dark enough that the grass and trees were starting to look the same. There was a faint sound of chatter and laughter coming from the castle that died down as Zyair moved further away from the site. Despite their few interactions, his feet felt drawn outside when thinking of her. Walking around the edges of the lake trying to find Scout felt right, and he hoped his intuition wasn't wrong.
"... Why didn't he ask me, why did he ask her?!"
Oh boy.
He extinguished the light coming from his wand and made the conscious decision to wait before approaching her, crouching behind a tree. If anyone with a brain came up to him they'd think he was awfully weird for eavesdropping on some girl, but he hoped that given that the whole Gala thing going on, most people would be preoccupied.
But this gave him a second to think, and he tried to rid his mind of all thoughts of Sabrina and anything else that came to mind. He thought about him and Scout's letters, how upset she had gotten over something like Casey being a prick- did she think Zyair and Casey were on the same level of wronging her? It wasn't like he purposefully didn't want to ask her to the Gala, he had just broached the subject with Sabrina first.
Clearly that was a horrible mistake. If he had never tripped over Sabrina the way he did, if Zyair had just stayed in the tent that one night then this would not be his life. If he had asked Scout first and told Sabrina he wasn't interested in her first (like he really should have), then he wouldn't have both of them upset with him.
The idea was gut-wrenching for him. He hated it when people were upset with him, no matter how much he hid behind the poker-face facade he had carefully crafted. When his mother would snap at him for letting one of the twins get hurt, when he failed tests, it chipped away at the foundation of his inner psyche. Knowing that two people he did genuinely care about were not only upset with him but deeply wounded by his actions? Zyair had a thick moral compass, and hurting people was not something he wanted to be capable of.
Eventually Scout's angry ranting fell silent, and he figured now was as good of a time as any to try and mend what he could. He'd accept his failure if it came (which he was kind of getting the hint that it would), but Zyair was never a quitter.
"Scout."
For a moment, she didn't reply. Vaguely, Zyair wondered if she hadn't heard him. Was his voice too soft over the sound of the outside air? Or was Scout just too deep in her head to hear him calling for her? Maybe she was ignoring him all together. Right now, Zyair wouldn't be able to blame her. If Sabrina saw him again, he imagines he'd get the same response from her.
"Why didn't you ask me?"
"My response won't be one you want to hear."
"Just tell me, you jerk."
"It wasn't a thought-out decision. Sabrina is nice and I felt bad not asking her."
When Scout finally looks up at him, something clicks in his brain. Her brown eyes are almost completely gone, instead replaced with the inky black of her pupils. Has Zyair ever seen someone's eyes expand that much? She almost looks like a vampire in this lighting, her skin looks pale as ever next to her white cardigan and dress. Even her hair looks a little bit like blood in the dark, with stray strands landing around her.
"Am I not nice?" She asks, and the tone in her voice makes Zyair chuckle. She's joking like this when she had just been crying? This girl has more of a mental wall than he does, that's for sure. "Scout... you know I didn't mean it like that." She wipes her tears, "I know. But it hurts, this hurts. You really couldn't have asked me first? I thought we were closer than that."
Zyair sighs and kneels next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Like I said, I didn't think anything out. Sabrina was just there and I felt bad for her, she's a really nice girl but... I shouldn't have lead her on. It only hurt everyone. I'm really sorry, Scout." And he is, he hopes she can see the sadness on his face and feel the built-up guilt in his chest. He hopes that for a moment, she can forgive his stupidness, even though he knows she won't forget.
He won't, either. So many memories stick in his mind like glue, and he knows this one will be the exact same.
Last edited by Scout Fu-Hai on 12 Dec 2024, 08:59, edited 1 time in total.
don't look at me; you can't understand, right? i'm just like a monstrous flower that bloomed too soon
scout fu-hai & zyair ona'je
8 Dec 2024, 06:59
To Get You There
october 19th, 2024 wc: 900 interacting with: zyair ona'je
Well actually, Zyair is being so sincere that Scout almost thinks he grasps the gravity of the situation, of her feelings. No matter how silly or stupid her thoughts are, it's like he understands. Maybe she's being dramatic but if she was just being dramatic, why did it hurt so much? Why did the idea of him understanding her be so enticing? No, this was all stupid and she didn't care whether or not he understood her or even if he wanted to, it was all stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. It was all so stupid! Oh god, was she going to cry again?
"You-" When her voice came out shakier than expected, Scout quickly cleared her throat and wiped her eyes again. She had cried once, and wasn't keen on letting it happen again. Tears were weak, weren't they? Whatever she could say to convince herself that she needed to stop crying. "You have to make it up to me, okay?" Similarly to how she treated her father when she wanted something he wasn't excited about getting, she flashed her brown eyes and pouted her lips.
"Yes, of course. What can I do?"
Eh? He agreed so quickly! If Scout were being truthful, she had kinda thought he would take a little bit longer to agree with her. But that must mean he's really sorry about what he did, right? So... well, at least she could relish in that feeling for a moment. Zyair actually felt bad about not asking her to the Gala, he actually did...!
She wiped her eyes one final time, and pushed herself up off the ground. The dress her father had custom-made for her was now lightly tinted brown and green from the dirt and grass, but she brushed off the remaining pebbles and blades. Oh well, it was nothing the house elves couldn't wash. Maybe she could ask one of the older students to teach her a spell about washing clothes even stronger than a house elf could. Wouldn't that be lovely?
"I told Emi that I was gonna meet up with her at the Gala but... I guess that might be a bust. We should... um... you know, try to find her and Casey."
"I thought you didn't like Casey."
"I don't."
Scout ignored the puzzled look Zyair gave her, extending her hand for him to take. It was true that she didn't particularly care for him, but she could respect that Emily did (for whatever reason). The friend of my friend is also my friend or something like that. She wouldn't consider Casey a friend per se, but she was fine with putting the whole 'him being an ass' and 'her jinxing him' behind her for now. She was just getting over her depressive mood regarding the whole thing with him and now Sage, and her cousin.
If Zyair hadn't been as kind as he was, she'd probably spend the night spiraling. Well, maybe first she'd go and find Emily and put on her classic 'Scout's all good!' face, and then spiral. She really didn't want Emily to worry. That poor Hufflepuff already had a lot on her mind, clearly.
"Where are we going?" Zyair asked, barely able to navigate through the dark night. "I think we should try looking at the Forbidden Forest first, and then if she's not there, we can try the Gala again." When Zyair becomes awfully quiet after she mentions going back to the Great Hall, Scout pauses for a moment and turns around.
She's thankful for her ability to see in the dark, because the face Zyair makes is enough for her to fully stop her movement and tilt her head. "Why are you making that face?"
"I'm afraid I'm going to see Sabrina if we go back into the Gala."
"Oh..."
Ah, she hadn't really thought of that. But what could he have said to the girl- Sabrina- that would cause such a reaction? Surely he must've just said 'I'm sorry, I have to go now', right? Scout didn't think Zyair had it in him to say something firmer than that. He had never said something meaner than that to her, at least. "What'd you even say to her? 'Ah, forgive me my dear, I must attend to some pressing matter'?" She faked a French accent as she spoke.
"I told her that I had something more important than her to deal with, and that I lead her on the entire time we had been talking."
"Oh my god, that's mean."
"I'm aware."
Yikes! Scout hadn't expected something like that for a response! Oh no, if Sabrina saw her and Zyair together would she try to fight them? Or fight Scout? Her dad watched so many muggle dramas that ended that way, she definitely wouldn't want to fight anyone! What if it was like Casey and Scout would become so angered that she wasn't even able to function, and then she'd cast a horrible spell and go to Azkaban for forever?! What would she do then?!
Slowly, she began moving her feet towards the Forbidden Forest, giving Zyair a light tug. "It's ok, we can worry about that if we don't find them in the forest. We'll just have to be fast and hide ourselves super good in the crowds." He doesn't reply, but he squeezes her hand in agreement.
Now they were on a mission- wow, this must be what Emi feels like!
don't look at me; you can't understand, right? i'm just like a monstrous flower that bloomed too soon
scout fu-hai & zyair ona'je