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Emily Shephard wrote: 28 Jun 2024, 00:57

Ayumi Faeri wrote: 28 Jun 2024, 00:43 My drabble needs to have 11 words shaved off ops and help? Tyvm!!

Possible TW: i swear it is not what it sounds like. you'll get it at the end. it's not anything inappropriate, but i did think of this when i was drafting this thing. anyway, if it's not allowed, just tell me and I'll edit this post to just put a n/a

Reducio

I sink into him. Two become one, and I win the struggle.

It's not hard when it's a shocked human.

I blink slowly, move our alien fingers to wrap around a cup. I shift our facial muscles. The first moments are important, only it isn't my first time.

We drink the orange substance, but no taste.

That's normal. That's fine. It'd be weird if I can taste it after centuries of Fire.

He tries to take over now, but I push him back. Deeper. Make a cage.

He’ll try again, but he’ll never win. Weakling.

Regardless, I'll cherish our time. After all, a human isn't as durable as... As I am.

Ooh! Good work so far! And no worries about the TW, I'm a rough n' tough gal - I appreciate it all the same!

There's a wee bit of repetition at the end that you can chip off "As". This wee sentence here "move our alien fingers to wrap around a cup", you could try something like this: Our fingers grasp the cylindrical contraption. And a couple of the adverbs can be taken out as well to help reduce your word count. But what you have so far is really good! These are just my little tweeks but it's entirely up to you how to use them should you wish to

Emily Shephard wrote: 28 Jun 2024, 00:38 Aww shucks! I just feel like mine is a bit of a mish-mash - other Encys seem to kind of flow, you know? Mine is a little bit all over the place, like some pages are out of order in mine

Emily Shephard wrote: 28 Jun 2024, 00:38 Aww shucks! I just feel like mine is a bit of a mish-mash - other Encys seem to kind of flow, you know? Mine is a little bit all over the place, like some pages are out of order in mine

Scout Fu-Hai wrote: 28 Jun 2024, 02:34

Emily Shephard wrote: 28 Jun 2024, 00:38 Aww shucks! I just feel like mine is a bit of a mish-mash - other Encys seem to kind of flow, you know? Mine is a little bit all over the place, like some pages are out of order in mine

i like your ency! i need to update mine but im lazy ;sob;

Emily Shephard wrote: 28 Jun 2024, 02:36

Scout Fu-Hai wrote: 28 Jun 2024, 02:34

Emily Shephard wrote: 28 Jun 2024, 00:38 Aww shucks! I just feel like mine is a bit of a mish-mash - other Encys seem to kind of flow, you know? Mine is a little bit all over the place, like some pages are out of order in mine

i like your ency! i need to update mine but im lazy ;sob;

Scout!!

I still have a lot of threads to add to my thread tracker and music to find for my fan made soundtrack playlists