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Lauren ran her fingers over her Astronomy book, enjoying the silence in the Slytherin Girls' Dormitory. A place where her siblings could not attempt to make her life miserable. Where the Slytherin didn't have to worry about their terrible presences, listen to their taunts, and question the reasons behind what she had done to deserve such a terrible life. Lauren wasn't a murderer or a master of the dark arts. She was merely a young six-year old at the time where her family turned against her, having performed her first instance of magic and uneventfully set her room on fire.
So much for being the golden child, her parents' favourite, and their pride and joy. That life was long gone; it did not do to dwell on the past and forget reality. She sighed. That had happened to her more often than what she liked. Almost every time somebody asked her a question, she would think of a billion things, and consequently she would take almost a year to reply. Even when the subject was about her family, where she could express everything to her new friends and feel the weight on her heart lift every time she did so.
Sometimes, though, she would feel uncomfortable. She didn't want attention, didn't want sympathy, just someone to talk to. Somehow it would ease her emotions and feel like a normal person for once. She was just eleven! What did she do to deserve such torture? What did she do to have to know what pain was? Why couldn't she just be innocent, live a great life, and only know about it later? Life was so unfair. She had to worry about her family's future plans, replay the memory of them disowning her, and her grades as well as her performance on... well, everything. She had to be better than her family. She had to prove it to them that she was made of material much better than them, and show them how sorely they were wrong. She would get her revenge one day, and promised herself that she would always strive for it.
Other people just had to worry about... well, homework. Social relationships. How people thought of them... well, Lauren did care about these things, very much indeed. But they never had to worry about their family. They never had to worry about getting embarrassed. They never had to bear the pain of knowing that her family would never treat her like a true family should, and how she was innocent in all this. It was all her family's fault! Not hers!
She kept telling herself that, but another, deeper voice in her head told her otherwise. It was probably because of the nightmares she got every night where her family told her to be gone and live elsewhere. Her family shouting 'you are disowned' to her in her own room, flinging her from her room window; her siblings jeering at her as she falls, screaming at the top of her lungs hopelessly with her arms flailing; Aunt Loratrix not giving a care as she laid down on her bed.
Of them all, the third vision was the worst. If Aunt Loratrix was to give up on her entirely and stop caring about Lauren's well-being, then... Lauren didn't want to think about it. That would mean that she had failed, and the members of the Vanes family had succeeded. Her life would be a lie. She wouldn't find the purpose of living any longer. She would let herself rot away and probably become a wailing ghost for as long as the Vanes bloodline remained unextinguished. And after that happened, Lauren could finally have peace. No more worrying. No more anxiety.
She sighed in contentment, letting the images take control of her mind. Eternal peace. Love and happiness. Forgetting what pain felt like. That would be amazing. She looked around the room, marvelling at her thoughts.
Crap. The clock stared at Lauren with unfriendly eyes, and with a jolt she realised that she was five minutes late for Astronomy. So much for a peaceful life. Rolling her eyes, Lauren reluctantly took her Astronomy supplies, cautious not to miss anything, made sure that the rest of the room was neat and organized, checked one more time, then ran out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her.
She felt hot and uncomfortable as she dashed through the stairs, sweating, into the Astronomy Tower. Along the way, portraits flashed her accusing glares and seemed to jeer at her every move, whispering to themselves. She flashed them a glance, then compared it to her siblings. Were they like this? A lot worse. Then why did she feel that their glares were so familiar, as if she saw them every day? Why did she feel their eyes burning into her flesh as she ran towards the Astronomy Tower? Why did it all feel... just so much like her siblings?
Maybe it was just her. She always had visions of her siblings attempting to harm her and strip her of her status -- a lot more than what was healthy. The dreams were vivid. They had been for years already -- not much at first when her family first turned against her, but they were growing stronger and more... real. More like the day her dream came true was lurking nearer and nearer, nearer and nearer...
Lauren abruptly stopped walking, immersed in her thoughts. The portraits gave her a strange look, then continued whispering amongst themselves. She really couldn't care less. The Slytherin didn't care about how others thought of her, but what others did to her and their future plans. And most of all, she cared about justice and revenge. Her sole purpose was to prove to her family that they were in the wrong and that Lauren was better than any of them. And she could do this by surpassing them...
By arriving in Astronomy on time! You're almost ten minutes late now! Bitch, I don't think Felix or Arianna have even been late to class before. That's one failed test! She screamed at herself, hating her distractions. Why couldn't she just focus? Why was there always something to divert her attention? Why couldn't she just focus on getting to class? Why did her brain always wander elsewhere in every minute of the day? Why couldn't she just be a normal person without a mountain of worries? Why did she have to mess up her life so badly? Why couldn't everything just be normal? Whose fault was this all?
Her last question took Lauren by surprise, and she stopped yet again to reflect on it. The answer was simple: her family's fault, except her aunt. And for that she would seek revenge and show everyone what she truly was made of. Her aunt believed in her. She could do this --
Now, don't forget about the Platform Nine and Three Quarters incident, Lauren reminded herself. That part of her was right -- her aunt had previously told Lauren to forgive her family after everything they did. Lauren would almost have punched her in the face it it weren't for the arrival of the train.
Lauren knew in her heart that she wasn't inherently good. Her mind was a very dark place, as written on the walls of her side of the Slytherin Girl's Dormitory, but her heart was darker. Revenge. Justice. She only cared about getting back on her family, and only wanted to be the best person she could be to surpass them. Lauren was however too young to realise she would be nothing without her family. Because if they weren't there, then Lauren wouldn't need revenge. She wouldn't get any motivation to strive to be the best person she could be, would she?
No, perhaps she would turn into her five-year-old self, striving for mastery of magic just to gain a successful future career, and probably turn into an Unspeakable or a highly respected member of the Ministry of Magic. It did seem quite good, though; Lauren would much rather spend her life organizing boring Ministry documents than worrying about her family and plotting about revenge -- no, she enjoyed plotting. It gave her a sense of satisfaction and freedom, serving as a reminder of her control over herself, that despite her family's actions, she was still her own person, and no one else could control her.
She looked at a nearby clock, and realised with a jolt that she was fifteen minutes late. And this was only the tenth day of the school year. How amazing life was. Now she was about to get caught by the Astronomy professor and questioned about her lateness, which would chip largely away at her free time. Not that she truly enjoyed it, though. She had to spend time controlling her own sanity, all the while being the most cautious person ever int he school. Oh, how she loved everything there was to do about her family and how she was forever grateful to them because of how they treated her. Lauren absolutely adored it. Ugh.
Grasping the situation, Lauren pushed her buzzing thoughts to the back of her mind and slipped into Astronomy Class. As she gently pushed open the door, too afraid even to knock, Lauren peered into the room and marvelled at its decorations. She took a glance at the professor, afraid that he would sense her presence and make the next hour... comparably less unpleasant for her.
It was always like that. One thing always leads to another. And in this case, it wasn't even Lauren's fault -- well, maybe one percent for overthinking? But it was her family, she firmly believed, who were in the wrong. She didn't deserve being late to class and getting into trouble! It wasn't her who told her family treat her like shit! Why did everything have to happen to her? Why did a mere eleven-year old have to go through so much?
But it was time to face reality. She walked into the Astronomy classroom, then stopped in front of the professor and opened her mouth uncertainly. To her disgust, Lauren ended up stuttering, which was not a good start to the year.
"P-p-professor? I'm so sorry that I'm late, I wasn't looking at the clock... I'll t-try to do better in the future..."
Officially the worst possible response ever in the history of Hogwarts. Lauren rolled her eyes, careful not to be seen by the professor, and remained there for a second or two. Then she got bored. she couldn't spend her time thinking about this. Worrying about being late to class wasn't worth her time? Then again, nor did worrying about both her family's future and past actions. Without waiting for the professor's reply, Lauren scanned the room for people she knew. People she liked.
And then she saw her roommate. Amalie Leclerc.
Lauren strided towards her, shook her head to wake herself and eliminate her worries, and sat down. She was too lost in her thoughts to say anything, and stared straight at the night sky ahead of her. It was all so attractive, simply so stunning. Every star in the sky looked a thousand times bigger than it had in the Slytherin Girls' Dormitory, shining brighter than ever against the darkness surrounding them. They seemed to be intent on guiding Lauren and assist her on her quest to quench the darkness in her world, her family. They were the only good things she saw that day, something that symbolised hope.
Lauren closed her eyes and let out a sigh. The stars brought her renewed determination, a belief that hope was still present and would never give up on her. She felt as if she could run a thousand miles, and for the first time in her ten days at Hogwarts, wondered if everything would change and if a new beginning would arise.
Maybe. Maybe not. If there would be one, though, then Lauren would gladly accept it.
But then again, something had to end for another to begin. Would... would it be her family's mistreatment?
She really wasn't sure.
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