Fading Away Solo

LOCATION | Viaduct DATE | 20. June 2026 INTERACTING | @Name Name | @Name Name

“ GOLD ” 00:49⠀─── ◉ ───────⠀03:19

x | OUTFIT #e63b7a | DIALOGUE @Meyra Lancaster | @Colin McCoire | MENTIONING

^{TW: Heavy feelings of loneliness}

By no means was Jun afraid of heights - she never had been. However, gazing into the depths of darkness below her did perhaps seem a bit frightening. Her fingers were pressed tightly into the stone railing as the wind gently swept through her ponytail. It was one of those warm-ish kind of winds, the ones that brush against your skin in summer nights. The kind that caused curtains by an open window to flutter like ghosts in a dark room, after a day of a bit too much sun and the sticky feeling of lake water and sunscreen dried on skin. Those nights often felt like the best there were, when the only sounds came from insects and creatures in nature, the water lapping at the shore and it felt like even the stars and moon were enjoying the night. Moments of peace.

Jun longed for those moments of peace, those warm summer nights, for home. Though this current homesickness often turned towards one specific person, someone who she wasn‘t able to return to, which made the process of fixing the homesick feeling rather impossible. Especially when neither the United Kingdom nor Japan truly felt like home anymore. In a way, the young girl felt rather torn between both worlds. Between memories and the life that was happening right before her eyes. The life she watched others live while disappearing between the fine lines of solitude and loneliness.

Never had the Ravenclaw ever felt as though she needed more people around her, as though she was missing something. In fact, every single time Jun tried to blend into the world of social interaction and openness, she hadn’t quite felt as though she belonged. The surface level connections that frayed at the edges, the speaking of each other in unkind ways when the other wasn’t around, the overly outgoing and confident individuals commanding all attention in a room. None of it sounded desirable to her, neither did she fit in. Jun despised small talk and fearing what others might think once they dip beneath the surface of who the perfect mask on her features displayed her as.

Only that the high and thick walls of safety measures - of keeping others at an arms length or two - had not only kept those connections out, it had also cut off every single possibility of meaningful connections. There were classmates and Professors and international students roaming the halls, filling the air with laughter and friendly interactions and something that Jun was slowly but surely longing for, in a way. A way that she wouldn’t have want to admit when asked.

Of course she had Meyra, her best friend and cousin, but the only other students she regularly interacted with were the two blonde haired twins and those interactions were never long, neither of important matter (usually). Meyra had other friends too and Colin and Liam still had that odd familiarity, but Jun wouldn’t have considered them friends. That either led to the conclusion Jun was lonely a lot of the time, or she simply enjoyed the solitude of being alone.

To anyone else, the latter was certainly what the brunette portrayed and she did enjoy being alone. Just not being lonely. It was strange how a crowded room, a breakfast with groups of friends surrounding her or chatter between classmates during a lesson, had started to cause her to feel more lonely than she felt when she was alone. Somehow, Jun had become someone who disappears in a crowd. Someone who observes and fades into the background, someone others might describe as a wallflower. And as much as the second year did not want to admit it, her mother had been right at the beginning of the year when she had said making connections was important. Those who did, may have spend their evenings in the common room instead of studying alone, reading in bed or wondering whether there was any use in journaling instead of sharing those thoughts with someone likeminded.

Submerging herself in books, assignments, playing the harp or piano, practicing one of her hobbies in private or going on a flight had become what filled her days most on top of classes, while the strive for greatness in those areas succeeded and spilled over her own expectations. Jun may have learned to know who she was by herself through all that, to not care what others were doing or thinking, while simultaneously loosing a part of herself that had previously known how to be around others. A part that only became smaller with each passing full moon of hating the curse that fulfilled her everywhere in those moments. It broke her bones and put them back together in ways that felt unnatural to her, in pains that were indescribable and that she hated. And then again she may have felt as though she deserved those nights, deserved to hate herself for the curse and for her father being absent.

Perhaps she would never get rid of the ways she blamed herself for all of it and each time those thoughts came up, Jun remembered why she kept it all inside. Why she kept to herself and why she didn’t do well with being less alone. It all came down to one cursed full moon night and her incapability to ever forget the events of that night.

With that thought, Jun pushed off the stone railing and took a deep breath of air as the wind swept through her hair and against her. It was time to go back inside and stop wallowing in her feelings before someone might catch her having those. Vulnerable was the last thing Jun ever wanted to be seen as.

^{Note: Been really struggling with writing for a little while, especially with getting more than just a couple hundred words out and this was somewhat of a practice to do a bit more than that. HOWEVER this also is a bit of a turning point for Jun in some ways, hopefully.}