Letters Never Sent Solo Complete

A small conversation


"Our hearts are monsters, that's why they're in ribcages."

"Or maybe our hearts are in ribcages to protect the only thing that makes human.
Maybe our brains are the real monsters, that's why it's trapped in our craniums.
Don't you think some people are blind because they are too pure to see the world?"

"Maybe"

"If it works the same way, aren't people deaf because they are just too pure to hear the world."
"When do you think a monster stops being a monster?"

"When you love it."

" Can violence be loved?"

"Always."

- Solace

Viii!

Keep your hand in mine, even when death do us part, 'cause I love the feeling of your skin against mine in any way. Your hand cupping my cheek feels like a motherly touch, one that makes me feel like water droplets fall on the tip of my nose, the rain light as it dampens my shirt. I love the way you smile when you're happy, showing off the cute dimples that I cherish so much. I love how you dance when it rains, pretending the sound of the weather is your dancing tune. I love when you hold my hand and rub little circles into my knuckles. I love your soft hair, your ocean blue eyes, your skin in the sunlight, your smile, your style, your kindness, your willpower, your empathy. I love everything about you.

- Azzyy

yearn.


it’s not a verb. it’s a bone-deep echo. a hollow in my spine where your laugh used to resonate. it’s the ghost of a specific heat- the warmth of your shoulder pressed to mine as we lay side by side. i yearn for the before. for the mouth that only knew one story, and told it perfectly. I don't just miss you. i miss the version of me that believed in you. the girl who could receive affection and feel fireworks, the girl whose heart was a simple, solid thing, not this complex, haunted house where every door leads to a memory, and every memory leads to you. god, i yearn. for that simplicity, for a shared secret. for the purity of a fight that ended in tears and then in tangled-limb forgiveness.

- Azz

II


He traces the same skin, and i hope you flinch. not from him, but from the ghost of my own innocence underneath. he’s kissing a shrine. i am buried here, and so are you. this yearning is a physical gravity. it pulls me backward through time, away from this good man’s good hands, into the past, into you. it’s not even a want. it’s a craving. a primal, pathetic hunger for a taste that no longer exists. for the stolen moments of a love that was so innocent, it was doomed. for the feeling of my ribs praying for mercy, not from pain, but from joy so sharp it threatened to split me open. i yearn to un-know. to un-feel. to un-break. i yearn for the last time my world was small enough to fit inside the circle of your arms, and for the truth i knew then, that i was, and would always be, loved.

- Azzure

Nothing


I wanted it to be you, I wanted it to be you so badly.

Now I look back, over my shoulder, a new person in your arms. I look back, knowing shockingly well, I once was that same girl, I fell for an illusion, a staged presence, One I never should have known to begin with. Love is a drug, a narcotic you can't forget; one that makes you hallucinate, one that gives you hope that there will be an 'again'. You were my drug, the one that made me think there was a chance between us; but no, I was your puppet, and you were the master, playing around to your satisfaction.


I wish I could quit you. I wish I could, I would do anything to remove those memories; the urges to message, to say hi, I would do anything to forget you. I never want to endure that pain again; pain that made me not eat and sleep. But what did I do? I let it slide, I let it only because I was desperate to keep the one person who valued me close to my heart. I took bullets to a tender heart, only to see the person I loved shooting them.


I think I would miss you even if we'd never met. Yes, I would miss you. After everything, I did, I do, I will. I'll never forget you, No matter what you do, one call, some time, I'm yours.

- Your Azzure

Yes, Violence can be loved.


I chased up mountains and drowned in oceans to have a mere feeling of what we had left, just one more taste of the sweet moment before you left with a bitter heart. After all I gave you, and the hurt you gave back, I could never deny that I loved you. I loved you. I loved you. I loved you

One of the most unforgettable things that happened to me were the letters of VB. The person who'd never deny me.

But the cherry on top was how much I still loved you. I thought it was my fault that you left a mantra along the lines of: "where did I go wrong?" and " what bad did I do to deserve this?"

I cried alone, without your arms to hold me, I waited in the rain for your umbrella, I froze in the cold without your jacket-I knew I needed you one way or another, I try to be okay whenever you're around, but when I see your arms around another person, my system shuts down. It really isn't jealousy but a longing for what could have been, but one thing IS certain, and it is this:

We were never 'nothing.' It's always you in the end.

- Your Azz