Disclaimer: This story will contain mentioning of the grief and overcoming it as the time passes. As well as how important to value the time spent with others, so later there are no words left unsaid. Please do not read this story if the topic is sensitive or heavy for you.

1335+1031=2366 total

She walked as if she wasn't aware of the place or the world that was surrounding her. It all felt so far. It didn't matter. The words were lingering in her mind. Don't forget me. A silent whisper was all that was left from him. And unsaid reply she really wanted him to hear. But now it didn't matter.

Sounds of the cars and people suddenly reached her dazed mind and she stopped to look where she was going. Time. They all were in a rush. To home, to work, to whatever place else. They didn't understand. No one understood until it was too late. Time is precious and there is no place for delaying all the important words they had. And she realized it just now. Yes, sadly she was just like them.

His funeral was still fresh, despite it been three months since the unfortunate day. Painful but she was glad she was there. A light smile appeared on her face with tears rolling down her eyes. A soft sound escaping her lips, was it a sigh? A relief? Or was it a sorrow? Even she couldn't know.

He was her friend for a long time. Later they started to travel together and spend more time together. She knew he loved her. Words were not necessary and so he didn't tell her about his feelings. He thought she didn't love him and that day she was going to finally tell him about her feelings. However... It didn't matter now.

She passed the road and went to the coffee shop. Her work was just a routine. To be honest, she didn't care about anything anymore, didn't want anything. But she had promised him. She promised to live a life full of different moments. Live it to the fullest for both of them. And so here she was, working her last day. Then she was going to travel the world. Somewhere where they always wanted to go to but never did. She had everything to do it. Everything but him.

The work finished in a blurry picture and her mind was still somewhere there. In the past. Living by the past was not good. She heard it many times. People telling her she had to forget and move on. But they didn't understand. She wasn't going to forget. Perhaps she'll just learn how to live with it. She hoped so.

Her plans were now quite simple. She was going to start with the mountains. Visit places with very few people. Find new beauty in the nature and experience the life that has different cultures and different traditions. It was one of the greatest dreams they had. Something that made them bond more together.

She looked around and found the keys. It was time to go there and take those things he left for her. Tears. Uncontrollable crying that made her unable to move for some minutes. Three months. Was it time to start to feel better? She didn't know. Finally finding power to move, she made her way to his house. Empty. That's the first thought she had when she saw the building. Just like she felt.

Entering the place felt like torture, but she tried to not think about it. Making her way to the room she passed by the door she never went inside before. It has a note written on it. If you are reading it, sunshine, then I am no longer here. Please enter this room. There is something I want you to see. Sunshine. It was a nickname he gave her. She had to enter to see what was that. She was supposed to do it. But once again she couldn't move. As something was holding her firmly in front of the door. A childish, unexplained hope that he could be there still. Just behind the door. And crashing sense of reality. It was not possible.

How much time passed? She didn't know. When she finally could move, she opened the door and stepped inside. Shock. That was the first reaction when she saw what was inside. And then she fell, crying uncontrollable. A lot of photos of them together with notes made by his handwriting were all over the walls.

Slowly she stood up and took each photo one by one. Small notes were adding a feeling of something familiar yet so hopeless. His handwriting... She tracked the letters with her finger. He always wrote in the special way. Making each letter written by dots. She liked to feel the letters with her finger. Tears and smile were pasted on her face while her fingers read each note. Our meeting. The best day in my life. I wanted to tell her... The last one, however, was the hardest to read. The one he wrote before leaving.
My sunshine,
Do you remember you asked me why I call you my sunshine? Then I told you it's a secret. I thought to tell you about it one day in the future, but it seems I will have to tell you like this. I no longer have power to speak and even this writing is taking so long. Did you know that the hand can be so heavy when you are trying to hold it to write? But back to the story.
My life was never easy. I had a hard childhood, with little to no friends and no one to rely on. I was betrayed and left alone in the forest when I was 12. It was evening and I was scared. But then I saw the light of a lantern and after some minutes I saw a girl with a dog. She was looking worried and so kind. You found me and took me out of that dark place. You taught me that I can trust you. You showed the care that I have never experienced before. It was so natural for you and perhaps you never realized how much it meant to me. So, you are my sunshine. The one who light up the path for me, taking me home.
All the days we spent together are in my memories. The day we met was very special, but the day you started to live with me and we started to build a plan for the future was even more special. Even now you are still close. You will probably be surprised, when did I write it? You are always so close even these days, caring and hiding your tears. I am writing it while you are sleeping. I am sorry for telling you everything this way. Are you crying now? Probably you are. But I needed you to know it. You know, don't be like me, thinking you have so much time and suddenly feeling afraid the time won't last enough.
Sunshine, I never told you, but I think you already know it. I fell in love with you around two years ago. Unfortunately, I didn't have the courage to ask you if you love me too. It was enough for me that you were close. Will you forget me when I die? Is it too selfish to ask you to remember me? But I hope I can ask you to not forget me.
You can do whatever you want with the photos and notes. I won't need them anymore. My sunshine, it's getting hard to see and you are crying in your sleep. How long do we still have? I hope you will still achieve our dreams.

The note finished, with the last word written as if the writer wanted to write something else but didn't have any power left. The paper was stained with old tears, perhaps he was crying too while writing it. Just a week after that note he died. She was always there. A bitter smile touched her face. She always tried to carry smile around him and didn't know he saw her tears. But if she was completely honest, she wasn't surprised.

He wasn't outstanding and he knew it. He had ordinary work and life that always wasn't the best. His childhood was but a painful memory. He didn't have friends and the ones he thought he had, betrayed him and left him alone. His family was always busy. With work, with trips, with anything that wasn't him. However, everything changed the day he met her. Left alone in a dark forest, he was so scared. The light that appeared suddenly frightened him at first, but gave him a tiny hope later when he saw a girl coming to him. She found him and took care of him. It felt safe. How could she be so kind? They didn't even know each other. Never met before. He had no answer. He didn't understand but felt thankful for this small kind gesture. For the first time in his life he felt warm and loved. And one thing he knew for sure. He didn't want to lose her.

They grew up together. Meeting and walking. They liked to come to the park in the evening and to visit one field at night to look at the stars. It was there secret meeting place. They were studying together until they decided to live in the same flat. There was nothing between them, they were just best friends. He was so happy. Later they started to spend even more time together. They dreamed about traveling together. Not the usual crowded tourist places, but the ones that are closer to nature, where very few people were going.

Dreams, plans, future and happiness made him believe his life has changed. There wouldn't be any more suffering. He realized he started to develop feelings for her but didn't confess. Words were not necessary as he thought. He dreamt to visit a lot of places, experience different cultures and try to live with her somewhere else. Until it all changed, ruining any chance for achieving these dreams. He started to have problems with his health, getting dizzy and feeling weak. He thought it was nothing serious. Too much work, didn't eat well. However, it seemed like it was only getting worse. One day he felt dizzy and then the only thing he remembered was waking up at the hospital and her, trying to hide her tears, sitting close to him. Confusion was in his mind. What happened? Why he was here? And why he didn't remember anything he was doing before that dizziness. He felt scared but also calm. Frightened he didn't understand what was happening, afraid to know that, but thankful she was here for him.

You are here. The voice. It sounded like someone's else. Was it his own voice? And why it was like a whisper? He couldn't speak louder. Every ew attempt resulted in him just opening his mouth without any sound coming out. Why? Tears were threatening to roll down his cheeks and he was on the verge of the breakdown. It seemed like she didn't hear him. He wanted to reach out, but everything felt so heavy. He didn't understand. He didn't know what was going on with him but already suspected it was nothing good. You were sleeping whole week. A quiet reply made him look at her, focusing completely and abandoning his thoughts. These simple words were enough to make him feel so lost that for a second his mind was empty of all thoughts and fear. She heard him then. But... Week? He thought it was only some hours... As reality was sinking in, he was near the breakdown now and it seemed like nothing could prevent it.

Beeping responded to his distress and, as if realizing something, she quickly reached out and smiled, wiping away her tears. He would hold her hand so tightly as if his life depended on it. Only if he had power... He knew she knew more than him. It was obvious from her eyes. But also he knew she was going to hide her tears and just be there for him, staying his safe place. Everything will be alright, don't worry. I am here for you. We can handle it together. The first sentence from her was not true. He noticed how hard it was for her to say that. He could guess that much from how unwell he felt and his missing memory. But to know that she was with him even now was enough to let him calm down a bit. Just enough for the machines to not beep fast.

Later when she went out to get some food and some things, he knew everything. He was going to die. Just some months. Tears were threatening to find their way out of his eyes, but she was going to return soon. He tried to not cry. There was so much he still wanted to do. So much he won't be able to do anymore. Pain, both emotional and physical was so strong that he almost fainted. He remembered all the photos and notes he kept in that one room he never let her see before. It was the only secret she didn't know about. He was keeping it for himself with feelings freely expressed there. There was a note on the door, he prepared it when he started to have problems with his health, and it seemed like she was going to have to open it soon.

He wanted to do so much, to tell her so much, but his voice didn't want to come out anymore, even as a whisper. So he was given a paper and pen to be able to communicate, and asked for more paper to write something for her when she would fall asleep. It was going to be a surprise. Sad and painful, but also a way for her to have something more from him. His last handwriting. He smiled with a sad smile. Will it make her happy or will it only hurt her more? Why time could never be enough? Tired, he felt so tired. How long did they still have these moments to share? How long did they still have until the last goodbye?