Bailey was still heartbroken. Her grandmother had been someone she had spent much of her childhood with, who had taught her so many things, and now she was gone. It was hard to comprehend, someone being gone permanently. Bailey had lost her great grandparents when she was younger, but they were more faint memories, not real people who she had treasured with every bit of her being.
Chopping off her hair had helped her cope somewhat, as had spending more time with her parents, and starting playing the piano again, but it was time. They were going to scatter her grandmother's ashes, in the lands of her people, the english. They were in the english country side, which was a change from how bailey typically spent her summers (she typically spent her summers frolicking in the countryside of Poland, but those plans had been postponed and possibly - probably - cancelled for the summer).
Bailey was siting on her bed - feeling a bit hollow, devoid of emotion, when her mum called up the stairs, "bailey time to go!"
Standing up, bailey looked around her room. Even her room looked darked, more gloomy than usual. It was depressing, being this sad, not having energy to try and be happy, and not wanting to be happy.
Bailey pulled on a jumper, for it was an unusually dreary and rainy day outside, and tied her converses, and walked down the stairs. Her mum wrapped her in a hug, and they, along with Bailey's dad and brothers, made their way to the car. Getting into the backseat with her brothers, bailey felt a sense of nostalgia roll over her. Before she went off to Hogwarts, her family would take road trips around Europe, exploring everything from castle ruins to other countries' grocery stores, laughing and smiling together.
This was not like any of those trips. The laughter was gone, the smiles were few and far in between, and were sad at best. Everyone was tired, but they set off anyways.

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Spreading a love one's ashes is an odd experience. It is freeing but also hard, making their loss even more real feeling. Bailey did feel an odd feeling of release wash over her, but it didn't make the sadness go away. She still felt that ache deep in her chest, one that had been there for months, ever since the first letter. Bailey took in a breath, feeling the countryside wind blow across her face, cold tracing tracks across her face where her tears had traced down her face.

Reducio

howdy again my dear friends and readers welcome to bailey coping through her writing 3.0 (i believe we're on #3 now...)
wow it's crazy how much writing helps me process my grief. Little bit of backstory, my grandfather has parkinson's disease, and my family is slowly losing him to this disease he has had for 30+ years, and i've spent my life watching him fade, literally losing himself as he loses his ability to move, and as he loses his memories. It is hard to see him in the state that he is in, but I don't want him to be gone, but I know he is in so much pain. I would love to take away that pain, and the pain he unintentionally causes us around him, but I'm not ready to lose him. (geeze im tearing up writing this). I love him dearly, and always will, he will always be my grandad.... yea
(if anyone wants a hug i'd love one rn lmao)
love you all, and *snugs* to all of y'all who have lost someone close to you, and to those who have had their grief extended by dementia/memory loss. Watching your love ones fade is so unbearable, and you are so strong. I love you all dearly thank you for being a home for me, no matter what state I am in mentally (or physically lol). Thank you for being a safe space for me