february 12th, 2025		wednesday, afternoon
wc: 700		zyair ona'je - uagadou
interacting with:		mentioning: Casey | @Emily Shephard & Sabrina | @Sage Willows

He has regretted it since it happened.

Promising one girl a date to a ball, then feeling horrible because he really just wanted to go with another girl, this people-pleasing behavior would be the end of Zyair. He felt horrible for everyone involved, although that omitted himself. Poor Scout had been on the receiving end of someone else's anger, and Sabrina had gotten her heart broken by someone she thought was genuine.

She wasn't the only one, Zyair was starting to wonder when he'd stop this cycle. He had many facades, none of them being quite exactly him, but all being just a little bit similar. To his family, he was the kind and caring big brother, the 'man' of the household; to his friends, he was a relaxed guy who never got upset; to Casey and maybe Emily, he was someone who hid all of their thoughts and aces up his sleeve.

That begged the question then, who did Scout see him as? For his entire life, he hadn't cared about how others perceived him, because it never changed. No matter what people thought about him, they all came to the same general consensus: Zyair was a polite kid who would never want to outwardly be cruel to someone, he loved his family and was always willing to extend a hand to anyone who needed it. He was smart and hardworking, rarely coming off as a know-it-all even if he sort of was. That was how everyone would see him in the end, that was how he always wanted to be seen.

After what had happened, though, with the catastrophic consequences of his actions, Zyair was starting to wonder if that sentiment would still be shared with Scout. Although she was air-headed and silly at times, she wasn't stupid by any means- especially not emotionally. She would see that Zyair had really hurt a young girl that didn't deserve it, she would see that he had pushed her away and stopped sending her letters, she would see that he was not the kind and genuine person she might've thought he was.

It made him sick, thinking about it. He wasn't sure when he had suddenly found himself caring about what Scout thought, she was just a girl who he had bumped into at a toy store once, but there was something about her that made him think. He had put on the mask of 'smart and elegant' Zyair, but it felt unnecessary when he was with Scout.

Maybe that was why he was so keen on leaving Sabrina behind. He really hadn't ever felt that natural with anyone else, and she was unfortunately no exception. Maybe if he had been honest with her from the start, things would have ended differently. Now he really can't get the image of her crying in the grass out of his head, and he can't forget the way Scout looked at him before he pushed her away.

When he sees Scout hurdling around a messily-packed bag, Zyair finds himself avoiding her, slipping behind a pillar to avoid her eyesight. He knows he can't hide from her for forever, but he can buy himself some time for now. Maybe an owl to his sister would do him some good, lord knows Zy would rather die than ask his ma for advice... maybe he should think about meeting up with Casey, too-

No, no, involving more people than necessary would be detrimental. He just needed advice on how to proceed with the situation from someone he trusted, and while he did trust Casey (he'd consider him a very close friend at this point- hell, they had gone through that explosion together), there was just no way he was going to be that vulnerable. He needed time, that was all he would need.

He spotted Scout a little bit later, closing his eyes and ducking once more to hide from her. See no evil, that was the first mantra to repeat. For the time being, he would consider himself this evil. This was definitely a problem, this trip, but it would be fine. He was the cool, level-headed guy he always was.

All he has to do now is the one thing he's known for- finding a solution.

continued here