By the Skin of My Teeth PV Aurelia Valentine

february 24th, 2025		monday, after class
wc: 500ish		dhampir | terrible presence
interacting with: @Aurelia Valentine		mentioning: @Emily Shephard

If Scout were drinking something, she'd surely have spat it out in shock. "Wha- excuse me?!" She sputtered, confusion lining her pale face. What in the world? Who did this chick think she was, slamming out an accusation like that! She said it with such confidence, too, like it was a definitive fact that she already knew. How could... Scout had made it very clear that nobody else would know about her secret, it was the kind of thing only Emily (and a few select others) knew. Not even someone like Zyair or Casey knew- and most certainly not this unknown Hufflepuff!

Unable to collect her words on her tongue, Scout gave the girl a scathing look, dark brown eyes burning into the girl. For a moment, her mind fluttered with ideas on how to handle the situation. Does she deny, deny, deny? Does she intimidate the other girl in keeping her mouth shut? Does she admit- no, that wasn't even in the books for her. Nobody would know her secret, nobody would know anything about Scout Fu-Hai, with the exception that she was a twelve-year-old Gryffindor who liked to climb trees, play sports, and watch movies. That was all she wanted anyone to think about her.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the two of them as Scout tried to say something- her mind racing but staying silent. No thought was still enough for her to grasp at, no sentence or ideology locking onto her lips and tongue, nothing besides silence. "I don't know what you're talking about." She finally settles on, crossing her arms. Though she tries to keep her face even (the same way Zyair always manages to do), her eyebrows furrow and her lips press together. "And that's an awfully bold claim to make at someone you don't know."

She was projecting, of course, how couldn't she? Every moment where her secret had come just an inch close to being let out flooded her mind. Had Emily accidentally let her secret out? Had a letter about her dhampirism sent to her father make it into the wrong hands? Scout was never fond of signing her letters with her name- even more when the topic in the letters was something so discreet and careful. If anyone besides Emily knew her secret... Scout might get sick from the thought alone. How could this girl know?

There's a feeling of hopelessness growing in her stomach, dancing and lining her intestines and organs as she tried to think of any way to get out of the situation she was in. Where was Emily when Scout needed her? If only her friend could come swoop in and get her away from this Hufflepuff girl, and if only Emily could reassure Scout that she hadn't let her secret slip, that nobody aside from herself knew. She trusted Emily- obviously she trusted Emily, she wouldn't tell her about her dhampirism otherwise- but she couldn't ignore how horrible she was feeling in the moment.

Sick, that's how she felt. Sick, sick, sick.

"And I sure hope you don't make claims like that to just anyone! It's awfully crude to be so insulting, don't you think?"

february 24th, 2025		monday, after class
wc: 800ish?		dhampir | terrible presence
interacting with: @Aurelia Valentine		mentioning: @Emily Shephard

don't look at me! you can't understand, right?
i'm just like a monstrous flower that bloomed too soon / there's no turning back to a bud
_{mild cw for internalized racism}

Scout can feel bile burning in the back of her throat, the taste of lunch earlier that day tickling the back end of her tongue. She wasn't particularly a fan of fruit, always thinking the sickly sweet of grapes and plums being just too much, but still being far from the inherent sugar of chocolate. If only she could go back to then, she would've made a decision to not wait outside for Emily, and instead go back to her dorms. If she could only go back in time a little.

She had very little care for what the girl said. 'Being a dhampir and being called one is definitely not an insult,'- to who? Who could it not be insulting to? Who could hear such damning words, and not feel hurt in their soul? Of course a human wouldn't understand it, of course this stupid Hufflepuff wouldn't understand... it doesn't matter what vampires are doing to change- the red-haired Gryffindor with a vivacious personality will always be seen as a monster. There is nothing she can do to possibly change that outcome or ideology- it bleeds through her eyes and mouth when she looks in the mirror:

You're a monster.

Scout can hear those words being whispered from her classmates in school, can see the newspapers commenting the same thing (albeit in a more formal way). Monster, there was nothing she could do to change the way people saw her. Maybe a part of her felt guilty, it was a negative way of thinking, after all. But really, maybe she just felt tired, and angry, and sad, all at once. It's not an insult to be called a dhampir- sure-, but how could she ever think differently? How could she ever be called a vampire and feel the self-hatred bubble over in her chest?

You're a horrible, horrible monster.

'Is it really that difficult to co-exist with people who have proven themselves worthy of another chance? They do not pose such a threat like most of the world is implying.'

It's very kind, the way the girl worded her sentence. It almost makes Scout feel not so guilty, it almost makes her feel like she did when she met Emily the first time. Hushing out her beloved secret because she wanted to trust, she wanted to understand, and be understood. Whispering the words 'I'm a dhampir' to Emily, if only to keep that stupid girl from going into the Forest and getting eaten, just once. She couldn't stop Emily every time (though that was more of an indication of Emily's personality, rather than Scout's), but she stopped her once. Her being a monster did something good.

Scout didn't think she posed a threat to anyone, although the same couldn't be said for when she snapped at Casey, at Sage, or when she let Zyair do something like hurt Sabrina. She wasn't a thread, but what she was might've been.

'People like you actually prevent everyone from living in harmony.' Yes, that was something Scout could agree with on a more philosophical level. Of course, what the girl meant was not what Scout agreed with- her words were (broken down) essentially a "you're disgust at vampires is what makes the world so unharmonious", but that wasn't really how Scout heard it in her ears. "You're a monster, and you keep the world unsafe" felt more apt.

How does she even respond, because Scout has no interest in diffusing the situation, has no interest in telling the girl her secret, and certainly has no interest in fighting someone again. In a way, any response she gave would be an admittance of sorts. Either that she really is a monster, a horrible, horrible monster... or that she's someone that has no problem hating nonhumans.

She didn't hate vampires, or dhampirs, or really any nonhumans- that was something reserved for only herself.

"Sure, sure, whatever," Scout lets out a slow breath, "yeah, whatever, you're right. It's absolutely insulting that I wouldn't wanna be called a gross bloodsucker- Christ." That last sentence sounded almost too much like Casey, but Scout filed it away into the back of her brain. She didn't need to think about him right now... "Listen, you don't know me, you shouldn't be saying that stuff to anyone- how would you like it if someone came up to you and said that your mangy hair made you a werewolf? Just keep those kinda comments to yourself."