Reopened A Not-So Fresh Start pv sage

date- January 5th, 2025 location- Hogwarts express

interacting/mentioning- @Brookline Quinn ooc notes-

Sage, admittedly, was running late for the train. She always felt rushed when going back to Hogwarts, like she never had the time to take it all in. Through the wall, cart ahead of her, shouts and train whistles filling the air and that was most of her memories related to the station.

xxxxShe hardly had time to wrap her arms around the Kora, mumbling "Soon it'll be you on the train." Cassie planted a quick kiss in her hair and shooed her off.

xxxx"Hop off, don't want to miss your ride."

xxxxShe followed command, pushing herself through the brick wall and disappearing into the train. Seeing as she was guilty of being late, Sage doubted she'd be able to find an open carriage in the train. Empty carriages were, after all, a luxury of solitude.

xxxxSage stuck her head into a few compartments, jumping out every time the faces were ones she failed to know. Faces she knew wouldn't understand... anything. A sinking feeling that she'd have to deal with individuals foreign to her settled in her stomach.

xxxxHer hand found the latch to another compartment, opening it with a soft click. Whoever sat inside, they'd just have to settle for her company. Sage hefted her overweight trunk closer to the door frame and balanced Casey's carrier, beginning to speak before her eyes met the ones of the person inside. "Hi, sorry. Do you mind if I join you? Running a bit late, you see."

xxxxSage's brown eyes found a pair of ocean blue irises. Whatever tense expression she had faded to none once her mind took in their face. She'd know them anywhere, in a storm, in a crowd, in an abandoned building. Anywhere.

xxxxBrookline Isabella Quinn just had one of those faces.

xxxxSage shifted herself inside and sat across from her friend. And her smile faded as she took the sight of Brookline in. Her cat sat in her lap, Sage brought her own feline up to cradle. Sage's eyebrows knitted closer as she waited for Brookline to speak.

xxxxBrookline looked like she'd been through a war. Sage wasn't too sure her friend had come home from that war yet.

ℬrookline sighed as she remembered when he left. All she felt was emptiness and sadness. She was kinda surpised she didn’t find any anger harboring anywhere and she still wasn’t sure if her feelings are truthful anymore. Since she fibbed to people about her feelings, perhaps her own susceptibilities were also taking advantage and lying to her as well.

Tigeress meowed again, and Brookline was starting to get tad bit annoyed with her kitten. Sometimes, that darn kitten was smarter than her. Tigeres knew about her girl’s emotions, and knew how to mildly help her but the dark emotion seemed to stay. She snugged closer to Brookline, her tiger tail laying across the Welsh girl’s laps, keeping the tops of her thighs semi-warm.

“Hi, sorry. Do you mind if I join you?”

A extremely familiar voice caused her to flip her gaze up, and she missed the tail end of the sentence. Brown eyes studied her own. Her eyes instantly watered as she recognized the Hufflepuff girl that she wrote to over the winter holiday. It was Sage. Of course, Brookline considered Sage as a sister, but she knew the Hufflepuff had gone through a lot, and she didn’t want Sage to add anymore weight on her shoulders.

Brookline wondered when her eyes would dry up and wouldn’t cry anymore. The Ravenclaw girl would love that, she hated crying. Crying and sobbing and anything else that showed you were sad or the opposite of your usually happy self was stupid. She hated emotions. Why was emotions even created? They were all so stupid and ugh, you couldn’t concentrate, all those tears.

Sage had carried her trunk and carrier in, and sat across for the Welsh girl. Tigeress climbed out of Brookline’s arms to watch Sage bring out a red classic tabby. Tigeress was a crazy kitten, and wanted to play. If she was her old self, Brookline would had giggled at her goofy cat and rolled her eyes.

Sage was probably waiting for her to talk. Brookline didn’t want to speak or use any words at all. She wanted to be in her bed, shut away from the world where she couldn’t and other people couldn’t get hurt. She hadn't used her voice above a whisper in a while anyway. Not since the fourth of January, the day he left. She did say goodbye to her siblings and mother, just in a soft whisper and a small hug. Tears threatened to slip down her cheeks.

“H - hi Sage.” Her thoat burned. She cleared her throat, when the scratchiness became to loud. “Sorry. I haven’t used my voice in a while.” Not since he left...

date- January 5th, 2025 location- Hogwarts express

interacting/mentioning- @Brookline Quinn ooc notes-

Second by second, syllable by lack of syllable, Sage's face shattered. Not the way an expression normally began to drop, not all at once like a sudden surprise. Sage's once joyous smile drooped slowly, dripping down at the ends first. Then the twinkle in her eyes started to fade. A hammering emerged in her chest, a crescendo to the undoing.

xxxxBrookline Quinn was not okay.

xxxxBrown eyes met deep blue ones that matched the ocean in more ways than the color. And then Sage directed the gaze away. She felt her own heartbreak poking back at her when seeing her friend suffering through her own.

xxxxEach little battle felt hardly close to won.

xxxxShe looked to Brookline's kitten, smirking without emotion when Casey did his cat version of rolling his eyes. He lifted his nose up slightly to smell towards the unfamiliar cat, using his other senses to his advantage. God, why did he have to act like nothing was wrong?

xxxxShe looked back, shuddering at the sandpaper texture of Brook's voice. She didn't deserve this. This empty voice, those watery eyes like a river, the sullen expression, the burning pain of it.

xxxxBut Sage tucked her hatred for Brookline's father away as she reached to take Brookline's hands in hers. "Don't you dare worry about how your voice sounds. I just want to make sure you're okay. Do you..." She paused the question that would have asked if Brook wanted to talk. No one would want to after...

xxxxWhat did you even call it? A death? A loss? Or rather the evermore mislaying of a feeling once of love? It wasn't just as simple as 'her dad left'. That didn't do the suffering justice.

xxxxVery few things did the suffering justice.

xxxxSage cleared her throat. "Sorry. I mean did you want to get snacks from the trolley later? I brought some new books with me if you'd like to read!"

xxxxHer hand released Brookline's own and scratched Casey's head. Her tear-rimmed gaze found the window so Brookline didn't have to see how scared she looked. Or more so Sage could see the reflection of herself and remind her to breathe.

ℬrunette hair fell in front of her face as Brookline studied Sage’s face. The Hufflepuff’s smile had drooped and the light in her brown eyes faded.

Brookline sighed, once again, and rubbed Tigeress’ head, a slight comfort. Her mind still yelling at her, she tried so hard to block all the voices out but her mind was just too loud. Why can’t her mind be quiet like everyone’s? It was so hard to listen to someone right next her and she couldn’t dare ask why she deserved this treatment because she knew why.

Then the voices stopped, abruptly. And Brookline looked down to her hands to see a pair of gentle hands clasped around her own. Sage had grabbed her hands and started speaking. Brookline couldn’t comprehend on what her dear friend was pointing out but she knew it wasn’t good.

“Don't you dare worry about how your voice sounds. I just want to make sure you're okay. Do you...” To make sense of what Sage was saying, Brookline turned her gaze to Sage’s face. Her face clearly said, Do you want to talk about it? And Brookline instantly recoiled. Her eyes grew wide, and she tried to wrench from Sage’s grip but decided she couldn’t so she stayed put. Tigeress noticed Brookline’s panic and sat in her lap, her tabby head pressing into the hollow of Brookline’s chest, the warmth slightly calming the Ravenclaw.

Hell no, she didn’t want to talk about it! She would rather go to the grave and take her chances with the devil and her bottled-up feelings than talk about it!

Breathe in and out. Breathe, she told herself, her fingers raising to her temple to rub it. Brookline heard Sage’s voice again. The Hufflepuff was talking about books and the trolley. Nothing that seemed of interest to Brookline. She clutched her kitten, and gave Tigeress what looked like a bone-clenching hug. Tigress gave a soft pitiful mew, protesting. Brookline quickly released, her face falling short. But at least it had helped her find herself, even in the slightest. She whispered to her little kitten, softly, “I’m sorry, Tigeress. I wish this shit would end too. Why must it be me?”

Turning to Sage, who had already turned her gaze to the window, Brookline answered Sage’s question, “I don’t know. I - I’m not hungry. I don’t think I haven’t for a while.” If Sage was to turn around to face Brookline, Brookline’d smile weakly at Sage. To at least show some consideration in the question and to show Sage that there was nothing to be worried about. But it hurt. For crissakes’, she was hurt. Why did it hurt? It never used to.

If Sage didn’t turn around, Brookline would nod her head carefully, and rub Tigeress’ head, simply waiting for Sage’s reply, whether it be long or short. The Ravenclaw would wring her hands together, before raising the fingernails to her mouth, chewing on already bitten fingernails, a gross nervous habit she’d picked up.

When the voices started up again, just like a orchestra, Brookline would clamp her hands over her ears, her mind yelling, Please shut up! but it never helped. No matter how much she tried to tell the voices to cease, they kept going, annoying and irritate Brookline to no end, and increasing Brookline’s sour depressed mood.

banner by brookline quinn

date- January 5th, 2025 location- Hogwarts express

interacting/mentioning- @Brookline Quinn ooc notes-

The only thing that didn't shake were her eyes. Steady, they focused on Brook, her cat, Casey, anything in the room she could use to ground herself. The blaring thought that she was watching the downfall of someone she considered one of her closest friends broke her inside. All she wanted was for her to feel okay again.

The feeling of Brookline recoiling, Sage returned her hands to her side. She wouldn't force her friend to feel uncomfortable. Maybe that was a lesson both their fathers needed to learn. She could feel, see, hear what Brookline was trying to communicate. And it felt like a ax to her heart.

Sorry. Sorry! Sage squeezed her eyes shut to hold tears inside, Brook didn't need to see her pain. The moment was about Brookline, not her. And the dam gates opened and a storm blew out.

"If there is one thing I will consider the truth for the rest of my life and even after then, it is that this is not your fault. Your dad's a jerk. This was never your doing." An empty laugh escaped her lips. "It's like... I don't even know what I can compare this to. But... Everyone in their life must have something to weigh them down, to make them feel like their life has been ruined. And this, this is that great and terrible moment that will have you crying, breaking down, and wishing it would end. And then one day, slowly, it will hurt less. And you will look back and think: "Huh. I was so brave." And then... maybe, just maybe, if luck holds out, you will be able to smile again."

Sage looked back at Brookline, doubting she was not hungry. She thought, and thought. And thought and a million times repeated the same words in her brain: Please let her get better.

And she stood. And she gently said, "I'm gonna go see if there's any water. At least drink that, okay?"

She dug in her trunk for a few coins, pausing to see the picture set on top of her clothes. A weak smile tugged at her mouth, a smiling Cassie had her arms wrapped around Kora and Sage. She'd forgotten that picture, they'd only taken it just recently. She closed the lid- not locking it- over the happy faces and stood.

"Will you be okay for a few minutes if I run out to grab some water or small snacks?" She swore she wouldn't leave Brookline alone mentally. Doing that, she'd never feel able to forgive herself. She just had to keep her strong.

𝒜s soon as Sage let go of Brookline’s hands, she yanked her arms back to her side. They wrapped around her kitten, and her hands started to tremble.

I’m going mad, aren’t I? Mental, even. Brookline asked herself, her eyes fading.

Then her friend’s brown eyes squeezed close, as if she was hurt, and about to cry. Brookline’s own eyes glassed over, and tears pricked her eyes. She had never meant to make Sage cry, she just didn’t want to do anything that might twist the wound further. Fingers shivering, anxiety started to creep over as silence enveloped the space between the two.

Then Sage burst open like a wrecking ball. Her words cut deep, and Brookline could have cried. And it felt like those words were meant to fly their way out of Sage’s lips and into Brookline’s ears, just so she could hear them.

And then Sage’s last words hit home. “...maybe, just maybe, if luck holds out, you will be able to smile again.”

At that, Brookline’s fingers stopped trembling, and her eyes were alight with a bright presence that hadn’t been around for a long while. “R - really?”

She did wanted to smile again. Without her cheekbones hurting.

Sage stood up and asked if Brookline wanted some water. The brightness in her eyes disappeared as if someone had just told her, that her whole family died. She started to shake her head, no, but, then in the end, she nodded slowly, her gaze down to her tiger tabby. She saw Sage grab a few coins, and another question from Sage drifted.

“Will you be okay for a few minutes if I run out to grab some water or small snacks?”

It echoed through Brookline’s mind before a thought came to her, I’m not a baby, I can take care of myself. Then she realized Sage was just looking out for her, but she did want Sage to stay here. The Hufflepuff girl was like a comfort. Instead, she nodded, put two hands in front of her to wave Sage off. “I - I think I’ll be fine. But, you’re hungry - I can tell as much. Go get some food. I’m fine.”

I am not fine.

banner by brookline quinn

date- January 5th, 2025 location- Hogwarts express

interacting/mentioning- @Brookline Quinn ooc notes-

The trembling shook her own heart. Seeing hands torn away from her own and their shaking pattern sent a chill through her body. Was she looking at the ghost of Brookline Quinn? She hated this. She hated the feeling. She hated the situation Brook was in with her dad. She hated it all. She wanted a cure for whatever disease this was.

Was it Sage making Brook that way, like she was on the verge of tears? She couldn't bear the thought. Her breathing felt rushed, her heart felt heavy. And there was no why. There was no cause but the stupidity of two fathers crossed out of family portraits. The idea was a blow to the heart.

Was she absolutely mad for laughing. "God... I just- I hate this!" Her eyes didn't show the laughter she was forcing. "I hate how we- you have been made to feel. It's all crap. But I swear to you... this will feel better one day. I swear to you."

Had she just watched a soul die? The way the joy faded so quickly... She could just punch Brookline's father, punch him and demand he face his daughter, demand he recognize what he'd done to this girl who wasn't even 13 yet. Sage felt the illusion of words flying off her tongue: Look at your child! Look at her! See what you've done? You've ruined a life.

Besides Brookline's refusal, Sage would duck out of their compartment quickly to fetch some food. She returned with something for Brookline despite the argument. "Just in case. It's here- I'm here- if you need anything. Okay?"

Sage knew they would be at Hogwarts soon. "Are you excited for school to start again?" While school wasn't the happiest of thoughts, it was better than nothing. "If you ever need anything, even if it's the middle of the night- you come find me, promise? I'm here. I'm here and I'm not giving up on you."

ℬrookline felt scared. Her hands had never trembled like this before. They did shake a little ever so often, when the Ravenclaw was a bit chilly or when she was anticipating something. This was quite different. Panicking breaths racked her chest, and she felt like a ghost was possessing her. Brookline wouldn’t be surprised if by next week she seemed like one.

Tigeress mewed, her tail twitching back and forth before she crawled out of Brookline’s iron grip. The girl hadn’t even noticed in her anxious twitching, that she was tightening her fingers around her life pet. Sometimes pets felt like stuff animals and it wasn’t all that funny.

Brookline had read a book once where a girl was named a big cat’s name because her mother had a cat as a child yet, unfortunately, the mum had hugged the feline too tight that it died. When reading, Brookline had been hoping that the mother didn’t squeeze her own offspring that much.

And as Brookline’s own kitten stalked away to groom herself, all the Welsh girl could feel was betrayal. Even if she knew that Tigeress needed some space sometimes, Brookline felt like that cat in that mother’s foolish arms, squeezing tight at her like she was a cozy toy dog.

Tears came to her ocean eyes, storms coming to wreck coasts and reefs under those irises’ blue sea. Brookline tried to grip the seat, and her fingers trembled yet again. She turned around to face the window so Sage wouldn’t see drips of salt run maps of through her face. But no tears would fall as Sage spoke again. It came startling yet firm. Brookline didn’t know what to make of it.

Sage kept swearing that everything would become better. If only they could use a wave of a wand and all the waterfalls and rivers and oceans of tears could disappear. It wouldn’t like that happen like that. Brookline grew grim. “And what happens if everything doesn’t get better?” She countered. “I mean, Sage. You deserve to feel better. Me..? I don’t. You are nowhere near we’re I’m at. I’m unsalvageable, and mostly beyond repair. I’m drowning. I’m a terrible sister and an even horrible daughter. I won’t be surprised if I’m a no-good friend, too.”

A tear escaped the full of ocean, and Brookline balled her fists. She hadn’t meant to cry. Perhaps she wasn’t as numb as she thought. Or maybe she really did deserved this. Or perhaps not, like Sage mentioned. Could it be possible that Brookline could be fond of repair?

Why? You need to be broken, and broken, a voice inside whispered.

Light quickly dispersed without a trace of return. Blackness grew at the thorny heart of Brookline and she felt the overwhelming pain. It was growing and it felt like waves were drowning her.

With that refusal of food from Brookline, Sage left the compartment for a brief moment and Brookline turned to face the window. She saw rolling hills and trees and small signs of animals pass by. It felt brief. Just like her old, crumbling, midnight-black soul. Soon Sage returned with extra snacks. Despite her declination, she still appreciated the thought and when Sage asked if it was okay, Brookline merely nodded. Then her deep gaze turned back to the glass. What would happened if her mum knew about this numb feeling? Would she call someone to treat Brookline or would she leave it alone? Would Amy even do anything about it? Would she leave Brookline to fend off this ugly state of her life by herself?

Sage cut her digging-deeper questions with a question about school. Brookline swung her head back around to face her Hufflepuff friend. “A little, I suppose. I don’t have to walk around that suffocating house without a trace of him. I can probably breathe a little easier more.... heh.” Trying to make a hideously wrong joke, Brookline marvelously flopped.

I’m not giving up on you.

Her friend’s loyal words echoed and echoed throughout the Ravenclaw’s head, and uneasy and guilty cartwheels flipped in her stomach. Merlin. Did everything had to be so confusing? Was everyone like this and everything just had to be tuned out that everyone was just the same? Could it be? Could it be that everyone was the same as her?

As Brookline nodded to Sage, that would still require audible response to such a declaration. She just needed some time to be quiet. She needed time to think. Brookline turned to face the window, to find that Tigeress was stalking on over to her. Brookline reached out to stroke those soft ears when the cat plopped in her lap. The feline made the Ravenclaw’s thighs as a makeshift nest.

Then, a question came to Brookline’s mind. She ended up thinking it out loud.

“What happens if something gets in the way again? She asked off-handly, as if it wasn’t supposed to be uttered aloud.

occ notes, omg this is so late, i'm so sorry!