Ashes From Which To Rise PV Nikolai Closed

Triggers: minor ED, violence, and pyromania

Part of the main story of Durmstrang's Valentin Schnell (age 17)
December 30st – 31st, 2024 near Königssee at the ruined Schnell Manor, Germany

With the wards around the ruined Schnell Manor still in disarray, the old mansion of Val’s earliest childhood looked more desolate than ever. Again the lake was mostly frozen over – just enough to be treacherous to any who dared walk its surface. Even the most recent squatters seemed to have abandoned such a remote and frigid place.

After nearly being murdered there two years prior, Valentin hadn’t had the will to do anything about the property. Caught between the nostalgia of preserving whatever remained of the defaced belongings of his father’s and wanting to separate himself from every dark deed ever done there, Valentin procrastinated. In the wake of everything that had gone down in the past few months, however, the seeker decided to come back to Germany in order to set things right.

In his own way, Val was giving Nikolai space. It was also symbolic vengeance, undertaken to fully forgive the other for putting himself in so much danger, alone. The seeker had learned not to push so hard on his risky, thrill-seeking behaviors after friends had to keep saving him from his own stupidity. Now, after Nikolai had opted to return to his old home, Valentin decided to do the same.

– – ⋆ – –

The passing years had served to dull the seeker’s sense of being a target. No further attacks or attempts to deprive him of his wealth followed after his previous escape. While the perpetrator got away scot free, some security improvements and the rebuilding of Hugo’s tower were the main visible reactions. For more than a year Valentin kept his sacred ancestral dagger on him at all times in self-defense, only to give it to the person he cherished most. His guard had come down, and then there were the slugs, the bombing at Hogsmeade, and worst of all, Nikolai’s horrors. Val had begun to feel unsafe again, and that was exactly why he wanted to put the ghosts of the past to rest and seal off the venting of paranoia. He wanted to do something hopeful to kick off the new year, and so he’d returned to the manor to restore it to some semblance of its former glory. Even if the place would remain empty, Val believed in the value of museums, and it seemed too disrespectful to leave the place like this anymore. He’d even begun to dream of what the manor could become in the future. One day he could finally bring Kol’ka here, or eventually turn it into an orphanage.

This was all supposed to be a positive, even beautiful kind of revenge, if a bit risky. Deep down, the boy just wanted to enjoy some cheap thrills again without having to worry about the consequences. Val missed the days when he, Misha, and Fima acted like immortals and brought chaos to whatever needed its illuminations. Times had really changed since those days when he believed that magic could solve everything and loved ones would be there forever. Like an act of rebellion against mortality itself, the Hell-Chaser longed to regain the ability to put his life in danger without worrying about it coming back to haunt Nikolai. He didn’t want to reflect that kind of pain back onto his soul-brother, even if he was mad. He really didn’t. Still, the adrenaline-craving limit-breaker had this new problem: he had someone to live for now.

Valentin left a note. As much as he was upset, he didn’t want Nikolai to worry from not knowing where he was. Val had suffered enough of that for the both of them. It didn’t matter if it meant this wasn’t really vengeance. In the end he just wanted Kol’ka to be happy.

To my dearest Kol’enka: I will be visiting a friend of the family, Eugenia, in Greece on the 29th – you may remember her from the ball. I will also work on estate issues in Germany the next day. I’ve included the addresses here because I don’t trust Sergei to release them without giving you a hard time. While I’m away, please have him attend to any travel or luxuries you may desire, as I will not have need of him. Still, I will be longing to see you again on New Year’s Eve, which is one of the most important days of the year to me. I won’t be long. Together we are eternal no matter the distance.

Love,

Val

– – ⋆ – –

It was past one in the morning and Valentin would not catch the last train out. He’d overslept, which was to say, he’d taken a rather unexpected midday nap. The last thing he remembered before the dreams began was spending time in a popular wizard café where he was scouting to hire a helping hand with the mansion’s restoration. An attractive young man had bought him a chai after Val vehemently opposed any kind of food. You’re too skinny, let me take care of you, was the least of the unspoken insinuations. The chink in Val’s armor, however, was that he loved people. He wanted to know everyone and show them some level of care, especially with the charitable spirit of the season in the air.

The conversation soon carried Val away with its excitement. Maybe this man could help him, since the seeker knew next to nothing about architecture. Hoping to bring good cheer into welcoming the quickly approaching new year, Val took a sip despite the public exposure. Chai always reminded him of the good days in his childhood. Nothing bad could ever come of it. The cup felt warm in his cold hands, and he wanted to be soothed.

The man was charming. Of course he was. Valentin took a second sip, and the cup clattered a little against its saucer as he set it down with his left hand, which was shaking. Looking down into the cup, the seeker didn’t feel so good. A few twisted black tea leaves lay at the bottom, like charred bodies sunk at the bottom of a lake. It felt bad to be talking to this guy when Val could be back home with Nikolai. Still, he was supposed to be giving his blood-brother space. He was supposed to be working through forgiving the other for leaving without him.

I could have helped you, Nikolai. Next time, take me with you.

Despite his jealousy and bitterness, the seeker had to accept that spending time with new and exciting strangers could not compare with the blessing he already had. Overcome with homesickness, Val pulled the rim of the cup away from his lips and set it down before he could finish taking a third sip. Standing up with some slurred muttering the captain excused himself. The next thing he knew, he was waking up from nightmares at the foot of the manor. He couldn’t remember it all – only the tail end of it.

Val woke up in the crack of the manor’s broken bridge, balled up cold and wet. His hair clustered in a mess of bloody patches as lake water formed ice droplets at their tips. So much for restoring the mansion this year, he thought.

Acknowledging that he was still capable of shivering at least, Valentin gathered up his garments to dry them and cover himself against the elements. Fresh snow had fallen, and dusting it off from the tatters of his once fashionable coat, Valentin sighed. He was covered in blood and badly damaged. His innards felt like they’d gone through a hurricane and his arm was broken. Still, the captain reminded himself, all in all this was a trifle compared to the living hell of Nikolai’s disappearance. This was nothing compared to the deep-seated pain still worming within the darkest chasms of his blood-brother’s heart. As enduring as a polestar, the only thing that ever mattered was reuniting with him now, but it was too late. Val had missed the train after being assaulted, and there was no chance he could make it home before the stroke of midnight. Still, he tried. Suddenly he was flying, but a headwind kept pushing him back.

Willing himself forward, Valentin challenged what became a terrible blizzard. In its total white-out, nothing could be seen but the blank swirl of textures. He knew that if he didn’t make it, neither would his counterpart. With a crash, Valentin met the ground again, breaking each remaining limb. It was cold, but all he wanted was to find his way to the fetid rootball of Nikolai’s most twisted experiences. The pain called to him with a song sweeter than any veela’s. He hungered for it. The seeker’s most base impulse was to consume the most perfect darkness and turn inside out with it so that it could come exploding out in pure clean light. In such a transcendent and luminous state, Nikolai would be at his most beautiful and they could at last find unity. Surely it was only right, after Nikolai had purified and so profoundly bonded with him. Yet, what reciprocation could be had when he could not move enough to even reach his wand?

The storm died down and as the white melted back into structure in the monochrome palette of winter, Valentin saw that in fact he was right back where he started, wedged into the broken bridge with his body half underwater. Sinking. The lake would kill him this time. Val had tempted the fates by coming here alone. The thrill was gone, but it wasn’t a gamble if he couldn’t lose. Besides, this was for revenge, and he got just what he’d asked for.

On the steps of his father’s decrepit manor, Valentin came to. There was no pain, and he we wasn’t even cold. Bundled up in both his coat and his old red cloak, the taste of tea with a metallic twinge came with a numbing at the back of his throat, but he was alone. His arm wasn’t broken. There wasn’t a single scratch on him. It had all been a dream.

Well… Not entirely. He’d had the sense to leave. His survival instincts had apparently kicked in once he left the café. Waking up at one in the morning in such an awkward spot on the stairs, Val realized that Nikolai had saved him from whoever it was that drugged him. Val had gotten away just fine, but the clock was still ticking. The last train had left without him, and he could not allow Nikolai to spend the birth of the new year alone.

I’m coming home to you, Kol’enka. I just need to finish this first. Wait up for me.

– – ⋆ – –

There was nothing to ring in the new year quite like an aerial bombardment. Valentin was no under-age wizard and there would be no investigation. Setting fire to his legal property in a truly remote area was well within his rights, and he took the time to ensure no squatters nor stray cats were still hiding indoors. It took a bit of time to knock down those walls that looked like they might be concealing a hidden door or secret passage, but it paid off and Valentin was able to extract an armful of books and a bottle of firewhiskey from Hugo’s most tucked-away stash. It was a good vintage and sure to bring warmth to his friends’ next get-together. He wasn’t sure whether Nikolai would enjoy the books or the brew better, but it wouldn’t matter when he could have both.

The sound of explosions was undeniably exquisite to Val, especially when they were his own. Taking out his rage at those who'd hurt Nikolai and himself throughout their youth, Valentin would ultimately raze every manor building and statue to the ground piece by piece. Finally able to let out violence against a satisfying target, the albino's pyromania proved to be a delight. For the first time since early childhood, the haunted old place was warm again. Taking off his cloak and perfectly stylish unblemished coat, Valentin soared and danced through the flames. As the splinters of the wreckage sizzled and hissed like a burning orchestra, he felt the seconds of his mortal life burning away with them. The second floor collapsed together with a ramshackle piano which sang out with snapping strings and warping wood. The powdery ash and charcoal kicked up with his flowing spins as Val tilted his head in wonder at the beauty of life and the universe.

It was pure bliss. He did not have to cling to the sickness of his family’s past. He would no longer allow the wealth attached to the Schnell name to control him anymore. He didn’t need Hugo’s gold-plated taint and its crushing of the human spirit. Genetics didn’t matter if they would kill a child’s soul. No one who treated Nikolai cruelly deserved to call him ‘family.’ No, the Russian had come to the same conclusion and fought his way back through the underworld. Family was only what people made of it, and Vol’ka would be Schnell’s. Together they could make their own home. In his rapture, Valentin would not notice a short figure watching from the road, cloaked by a distant treeline. No, such a shadow in the flickering light only entered his subconscious as the dream of a child that never was.

Certainly the flames of the manor burned fiercely, and the exposed parts of Val’s body would feel their wrath when he got too close, but this was part of his happiness. If the light and heat of the fire could just fill him up, if he could transform the pain into the cord of salvation, his draconic heart could heal again. Frolicking through the inferno was like drinking in pure energy after the exhausting end to his year.

A flaming beam would strike Valentin across the face, and it was almost nostalgic. If only he could get into Mikael's mind too, he thought, then maybe he could amend the damage he'd done to him. Suffocating the flames searing his cheek under his hand, Valentin resolved to continue his efforts to save his scar-faced ring-mate. If he succeeded, the ghosts of even the Norwegian boy's twisted institution would no longer have a beam to cling to. He would show him by example. Valentin was a free man now and could make of his life what he chose. Mikael could escape his past, too. No authority but reality itself could bind Valentin any longer. He would ensure that every last splinter of structure comprising a home-turned-perdition crumbled. Rich fresh soil would allow phoenixes to rise anew, like spring renewing the scraggly brush of winter.

When only embers remained visible from the seeker’s expansive overhead view, Valentin turned to the north. If he was fast, he could still make it back to wizard’s Berlin within four hours – as the crow flies – without exposing himself to non-Magi society. Despite being a hyperactive child he’d attentively learned the safe flight paths from his father, so now he knew them like the back of his hand. The thrill of having to beat the clock would push him, but more importantly he had someone waiting for him... and that was the ultimate rush.

– – ⋆ – –

The Schnell Estate near Kazan, Russia

While still smelling like a bonfire, smeared with ash, and decorated with minor wounds, Valentin blasted into the room where Nikolai stood and opened his arms wide. A satchel strapped to the broom on his back would soon reveal additions for the Amber Library and fine spirits primed for holiday celebration. Furthermore, Val had made a cleaner slate of his affairs so that he could focus on what really mattered to him.

It was 23:57 on New Year’s Eve and the athlete was out of breath. With wild hope in his eyes, he reached out with his heart. It would only become clear to him later that Val's so-called "Christmas Curse" had been broken. Nikolai had changed something in him enough to alter a fateful decision, however mundane it may have seemed on the surface.

“Kol’enka, I’m home!”