I've Seen Better Days PV Miharu Closed

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【 November 15, 2024 ✿ --:-- 】

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How long has it been since that incident happened during their visit to Hogwarts? She can’t recall, she’d rather not actually for it has nothing but horrible memories for her, memories that continue to haunt her till this day and maybe, forever in her life. The fire, the explosion, the chaos, the deaths and her failure. She swears she could still hear it, those screams, especially that one from one of her senpais, Sara Kohana. It was brief but loud enough to leave its mark, to shake the young Seeker during that time and to make it worse… that was her fault. She was to blame for it.

As much as people would say it wasn’t, it was. That was the fact that they should accept. It was all Miharu could think about, what haunts her thoughts whenever she gets the chance to be alone with them which had been quite frequent since the visit. When she thought she was already warming up to others, to her Quidditch team, that incident had set her back to zero. She couldn’t face them, she would make any excuse possible to leave, she would do anything to avoid them for she felt like she didn't deserve to be in their presence and that she would just end up hurting them.

To get her mind off of things, she tries to do what she likes. She would be flying on the training pitch but with her not being in the right mindset, that could lead to an accident which she is trying to avoid. While she would love to feel the wind on her face, she’d rather avoid getting hurt and being a bother to other people. So instead, she’s here, in the library, trying to study. While it’s more for taking her mind off of things, she still needs to maintain her academic performance which, she knows, has been affected, especially her spellcasting. Ever since then, she couldn’t take a steady hold of her wand. She would need a lot of time to perform one spell out of fear of it backfiring. To make up for those, she needed to work harder, twice than before. If her academics falters, she doubts her parents would allow her to stay in the Quidditch team and she can’t have that. She can’t lose the only thing that she loves.

Miharu almost jumped upon being addressed, quickly turning her head to face one of her upperclassmen and currently, a member of the Quidditch team. “Hiroi-senpai… oh, of course not… I don’t mind at all.” Maybe she does but being so polite, she can’t exactly say that and she doesn’t want to sound rude and all. It’s not like Chiaki Hiroi did something wrong but rather, it’s just Miharu preferring to be alone while she’s in this troubled state. Then again, while she doesn’t know much about this senpai of hers, there’s just something calming about her so really, guess she doesn’t mind her company at all. Miharu isn’t that much of a talker. She could rival that of Sara Kohana’s quietness after all so it was hard to start a conversation, much more when she’s not feeling that well when it comes to it.

Chiaki’s books did catch her eyes, for botany. Chiaki never crossed her mind as a plant person so it did make her curious. “Hiroi-senpai… you like plants?” she asked out of nowhere that she herself wasn’t expecting it. Well, she already said it so… yeah.

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And I've seen better days, you know
Take it slow, take it slow, take it slow
Run me to the ground
Leave a better scene than what you found
Better Days ~ Old Sea Brigade

Reducio

Japanese English

Word Count: 233

Mentions: Miharu @Raizel Voltrouz

Date: November 15th 2024

It took a second for Chiaki to process that Miharu had actually begun a conversation. This was not just because she was so engrossed in her work and her doodling and research, but also regarding the fact that she had hardly seen Miharu begin a conversation before. In fact, she had hardly seen her since the students visiting had returned since. But not even really at quidditch practice, and that was unusual for her to be absent from, considering she had still remained on the team.

"I do, yes," she responded quietly, finally responding to the comment, not wanting to raise her voice too much in case she would disturb too many others that were busy at work studying around her. "I just find them so fascinating, how each type and species is different. That there are some that can survive even in the most extreme climates, and that's just so incredible, don't you think?"

Did she sound potentially insane, of course! Not many could understand her same love for flora, but she had been used to no longer caring about others' opinions. However, in the interest of friendship, she did not want to just leave the conversation so soon.

With a small smile, Chiaki would shake her head. "But I'm sure you do not want to hear about my botanical interests. You must have your own interests that keep you occupied, no?"

Note: Chi has calming presence, which would be in effect.

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【 November 15, 2024 ✿ After Lunch 】

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Perhaps she was sick, maybe on her way to getting a fever. It was just unusual for her to do something like start a conversation, even more so after that horrible visit where her communication skills had probably dropped.

She listened to Chiaki. She’s always a good listener and truth be told, her senpai is making her more curious about plants. Haru isn’t that great when it comes to herbology. She tried taking care of a plant back home but it just died in the end and that was really upsetting. Some say that she probably just doesn’t have a knack for it and should just focus on her broom sport. “I see. They do sound incredible.” She told her. If only she could say the same to the plants that she tried to grow. Maybe she was indeed fated to cause harm to others because even the plants don’t survive around her.

“No, it’s okay. It is fascinating to know the interests of other people.” Haru said to Chiaki,looking back at the pile of books before her. She had been studying since she got here and to be honest, she needed a break and a breather and maybe, a time to ponder about Chiaki’s question. Her own interest, well, Quidditch is the only thing that she is truly interested in so it was upsetting to know she couldn’t do it that often now, not until she gets her head back into the game. “There’s Quidditch but I don’t even do it that much anymore…” In a way, she felt guilty about that. Don’t get her wrong, she still loves Quidditch, flying on her broom but right now, it just can’t keep her occupied like it used to do. She misses it, she is glad that they are still allowing her in the team despite how her practice time has lessened. It was a break that she needed and way better than breaking her limbs instead when she causes an accident. Flying does require a clear mind so if she goes flying now, she’ll be sure to crash. She had already caused enough trouble, she can’t add more to it. “At the moment, I have nothing.” Haru sighed.

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And I've seen better days, you know
Take it slow, take it slow, take it slow
Run me to the ground
Leave a better scene than what you found
Better Days ~ Old Sea Brigade

Reducio

Japanese English

Word Count: 208

Mentions: Miharu @Raizel Voltrouz

Date: November 15th 2024

"Mhm, I did notice your absence at practice for some time," Chiaki nodded. She had guessed that Miharu's absence was connected the incident at Hogsmeade, but she would've thought quidditch to be a good distraction from thinking about that. It was seemingly one of the girl's biggest passions. But clearly, that wasn't how it worked for Miharu, and Chiaki felt really bad about that. Whatever happened there must have really affected her, and she hoped to lend a hand.

"There must be something you are interested in," she tried to engage the conversation. "Whilst flying is very, it isn't your only interest, surely? Are there other things that have kept you preoccupied recently?"

Chiaki was purposefully dancing around the issue, or at least avoiding saying it explicitly. It was something that was a very solemn and sensitive topic, and she had enough sense to not bring it up, especially in front of someone who was probably still reeling from the event. She really did want to help Miharu out, even just a little bit, as she would like to have considered her a friend. She wasn't sure if Miharu would consider her a friend, but maybe after this, if Chiaki was able to help her out, she would.

Note: Chi has calming presence, which would be in effect.

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【 November 15, 2024 ✿ After Lunch 】

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“My apologies for my absence, Hiroi-senpai.” Her recent absences should've kicked her off from the team really. They didn't have to tolerate this behavior of hers where she just kind of disappears on some days, her hiding away and not even going to most of the training sessions they have. Guilt was present when she apologized, in those tired black eyes of hers, on that frown on her face. Her head was lowered, ashamed of even looking at Chiaki upon realizing how she is dragging down her own team, especially when they start playing games again. Her performance in it is the only thing she could offer to them for she had proven to be useless when it comes to emergency situations. “To be honest, I am considering taking a break from it for the time being.” It pained her to say that. She loves Quidditch even though it was something that her mother pushed her into taking in the first place. She had learned to love it, it gave her freedom that she couldn't get back in their home. To give it up won't just disappoint her mother but it would also disappoint herself.

But that is something that she had considered if she couldn't get over her own fears of facing her teammates, especially Sara Kohana. Yes, Kohana-senpai, she can't face him, not after what she did and she is sure he would rather not see her after she broke her leg. Just thinking about it made her chest feel so tight like something is squeezing it, her breath almost sounding shaky when she tried breathing in, her mind threatening to go into a state of panic but something prevented that. Maybe it was Chiaki’s presence here, her calm demeanor that says ‘it’s okay’. She couldn't answer her questions immediately however, for she too doesn't know what else is there for her to take her mind off of her own troubles. Quidditch was not in her options anymore, so did flying. Reading hasn't been as fun as it used to and she couldn't do any spellcasting for she is struggling to even hold a wand steady out of fear.

There was nothing else…

Either she just doesn't have that much of a hobby aside from her main sports or that they aren't coming into mind due to her trauma. “I…” There was a long pause as she tried her hardest to recall what else was there. Surely there is something, like flower arranging, tea ceremony or even other sports for Haru is a very sporty person and something that her mother would even convince her to do as she too was a sporty person during her youth. “I don't know. Nothing comes to mind.” She answered truthfully. “I am sorry, Hiroi-senpai… I am probably the most boring person to ever have a conversation with.” She apologized once more but this time, with a forced smile. She does feel bad for being an uninteresting person and she has no one to blame for that but herself due to her poor socializing skills. She had been taught to remain quiet during those pureblood gatherings, only speaking when addressed but nothing beyond simple greetings and responses. If only that incident didn't happen then perhaps she would've overcome that problem of hers already.

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And I've seen better days, you know
Take it slow, take it slow, take it slow
Run me to the ground
Leave a better scene than what you found
Better Days ~ Old Sea Brigade

Reducio

Japanese English

Word Count: 278

Mentions: Miharu @Raizel Voltrouz

Date: November 15th 2024

When Miharu confided that she was thinking of giving up flying, Chiaki had to stifle her shock. "No! But that is your passion, is it not? That is what you love? You cannot give that up." Despite the school's competitive reputation, Chiaki was not concerned with the upkeep of the team and its success - she had seen Miharu on the field before in practices and in games, and she knew that she was capable of a lot. It would be a waste for her to leave completely.

"You are capable of so much, Miharu-san. It would be a shame to see that talent not put to good use. And for something you so clearly have a passion for... well, I am certain I would not be the only one disappointed to see you leave if you chose to."

Chiaki shook her head vehemently. "You tell a lie," she insisted. "No conversation that I have had with you has been boring. It has provided me a great insight to who you are, and I just wished to help. I did not mean to upset you in any way, and I hope I did not indicate that I found you boring at all."

Quickly rifling through her things, Chiaki came across a mostly empty notebook, and after tearing out the rough sketches she had completed, carefully placed it in front of Miharu. "You are under no obligation to tell me what you are feeling, but I am always happy to listen if you wish so. I have heard that writing your feelings can also help, so please, take this notebook here if you wish to do so. It may help."

Note: Chi has calming presence, which would be in effect.

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【 November 15, 2024 ✿ After Lunch 】

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It was true. Quidditch, despite being forced upon her by her mother due to her wanting to follow in her footsteps, was something that Miharu had grown fond of. At first, she hated it as unbelievable as it may sound considering how passionate she had turned out about it. Everyday, if she wasn't studying under her father, she would be accompanying her mother flying around for the experience of it or even play catch with a ball. It was for the sake of preparing her for Quidditch, specifically, a Chaser. It was her mother's dream for her to become a pro player, the same as their relatives who were Professional Quidditch Players in their youth. It was never her dream at the start, just her mother’s. But after years of practice, she had learned to love it, getting to the point of being enthusiastic upon the mere mention of it. While her expression doesn't seem to change that much from its usual stoic look to show it, one would feel it radiating from her. Quitting it… would break her heart. It was the only thing that felt real for her and one that she could say she had decided to continue pursuing unlike the other things that were forced upon her to become her parents’ perfect daughter.

But with her not being in her best state, she couldn't help but feel like she would just bring the team down. Leaving was the only solution she could think of. She thought it was the only one she could take as an action. Chiaki saying that the others would be disappointed if she did decide to do that was… unbelievable but somehow it felt… assuring, especially after what she had done despite it being an accident. “Thank you, Hiroi-senpai.” She said, letting out a small smile this time. Chiaki’s words meant a lot to her in these troubling times.

“No, you did not upset me. I am just not that much of a conversationalist nor have a lot of interesting things to say. Communication is not my forte.” She admitted as she listened and stared at the notebook placed before her. She paused, lasting for a few seconds then she placed a hand on it before she began speaking once more with a solemn look on her face, replacing the smile that she had just shown her upperclassman before. “I’m scared… Hiroi-senpai. I don’t know if you’ve heard but I hurt Kohana-senpai. While we had a chance to talk, a part of me is still afraid of facing him, facing anyone. Not after what I did. I don’t know what I should do.”

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