9 Jul 2024, 16:52
eclipses
| 20/07/2024 | 22:47 |
1. the lake| = | Without a noise, I open the bay window that open on the gardens. I get out, and close the window almost all the way through, so I'll be able to go back inside. There are no clouds in the sky, and the almost full moon is shining, guiding my steps. I am only wearing a black one-piece swimming suit and a white robe that fly around with the wind. I shiver : the nights in northern Scotland are not the warmest. I make my way in the garden, walking between perfectly cut bushes and flower beds towards the small lake. My small lake. The lake is my favourite place of the estate. It always has been. It is not too big, with clear water and it's bottom covered of seaweed-free gallets. The deepest part of the lake, in the center, is about twice my height. All around are birches, hiding the place from others. I approach the little hut I built between two birches a few years ago. A mattress and some wood, with some magic that make it always warm and dry. I always make sure that blankets and towels are there, as well as some hot tea. I sit down on one of the pillows of the hut, and look up at the sky. The world is always so much more beautiful at night. |
Sitting in my hut, looking at the stars, my vision starts to blur. I remember that day, for the thousandth time, I remember that day. The day I learned that my father was dead. The day I realised it was my fault. The day something broke in me. I start spiraling and I know what will happen if I let if happen. So I stand up, walk into the freezing water, and let myself fall back when it's a little deep. I keep my eyes opened, watching the surface getting higher and higher. I exhale, just a little bit, to fall a bit deeper in the dark water. My eyes start to sting and I focus on that, instead of my guilt. I stay in the water until my lungs start to burn, and it is only then that I swim back up, gasping for air. Then I start crying, tears of blood slowly rolling down my cheeks. |
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| = | I am now floating on my back, sluggishly moving my arms and legs to stay afloat. Eyes glued to the sky, I am not really sure of where in the lake I am. It doesn't matter. Dark red streaks are scarring the outer corners of my eyes. The tears paths. Black and blue hair floating around my head, I am still thinking about my father. Why did he have to leave? Why was telling his own daughter things about the vampire world treason? Many questions I'll probably never have the answer to. Then I think of my mother. My mother to whom I've never talked about this chess game. My mother who is even more in the dark than me on this subject. She is being terrible to me right now, but she doesn't deserve to not know. I should tell her, I know I should. But I don't want to. |
| Anastasia Blackwood-Varney Mors irrumat omnia |
3 Aug 2024, 20:58
eclipses
| 27/07/2024 #113026 |
19:29 outfit |
2. family reunion pt1| = | "Anastasia, your outfit for tonight is on your bed. Please go get ready, your aunt and cousin will arrive soon." Mother was hosting a little family dinner tonight. She had invited her sister, and her husband and children, but my uncle was busy with work and Liz was at the summer camp. So there would only be four of us: my mother and I, and my aunt and cousin. I was glad to see Peter, but because of my mother, we probably wont be able to talk like we want to. "I'll go get ready. At what time are they supposed to arrive?" I stand up from the black velvet armchair I was sitting on while my mother replies "At eight o'clock." I nod and leave the room. I walk down the large corridor, climb up the stairs, and open the third door. |
"Oh my dear Anastasia!" exclaimed my aunt Ainsley, walking towards me in her long sage dress. "You have grown so much since Christmas, how are you?" Undetectably fake smile on, I accept her hug. "I am doing well, thanks for asking. How are you? And uncle Malcolm?" While she answer and start small talking about her husband being very busy with his work at the Ministry of Magic, I accept Peter's handshake. I'm so glad that he knows that I don't like physical contact. I'm going to miss him next year, even if I am definitely not admitting it to him. Ever. "Let me take you to the living room, Mother is waiting there." Turning my heels, I let them follow me to the living room. |
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| Anastasia Blackwood-Varney Mors irrumat omnia |
8 Aug 2024, 21:50
eclipses
| 27/07/2024 #113026 |
20:08 outfit |
2. family reunion pt2I walk out of the room, my cousin's arm in hand. I lead us to where my mother asked us to go, to the upstairs living room. It's a rather nice room, with the dark upright piano, and the dark green velvet couches. The numerous paintings hung on the walls represent nature scenes, members of the family, and still life. I push Peter on a couch before sitting in the one in front of him. "Mother will want us to small talk... Do you want anything to drink?" I already know what he is going to answer, but I still say it. I know that he doesn't like the power my mother has over me but well, she is my mother. "No thanks Ana. You know you don't have to do whatever she tells you to do, right?" |
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| = | Drying my tears with the back of my hand, I face my cousin, who is now sat next to me. Back strait, I have put a mask on my face. A mask I use with my mother. A mask I didn't think I would need to use with my cousin. A small smile on my face, the littlest emotions in my eyes. I breath in and out, calming down. "It's what I have to do, Peter. It's who I am. So stop bothering me with that." He looks at his feet, with a sigh. I know he is disappointed in me, but I don't want to care. You should not care. "I can't force you to do anything. But at least I tried." He stands up to go back to the couch in front of me. His eyes are sad, and mines are probably a little too. I try to brush it off, an idea growing in my head. |
| Anastasia Blackwood-Varney Mors irrumat omnia |