5 Jul 2024, 10:49
Only Thoughts for Company... oh, and a Bunny
Mahlioz was one of the first on the Hogwarts Express. She chose herself a nice empty compartment, put away her things and sat down in a corner next to the window. It was the end of the year. They were going home. For probably the last time in their life. There was the move, after all - soon they would never see this home again.
Time: the 10 hours it takes to get back
Mentions: Eusèbe, @Irina Shevel, @Pericles Dralt, @Qrowley Beithir, @Mellani Miller, @Nora De Carie, @Astra Norrick, @Sereia Clairmont, Reltyl Evethisawe
Thoughts
Eusèbe was in her arms. She hadn't paid much attention to him this year, except at the beginning when she'd first gotten him, and she regretted it. He was so cute, and so soft, and really didn't deserve their ignoring. But they'd been distracted, and rightfully so. It wasn't an excuse. But there had been so much so quickly. This year had been an absolute mess.
As she pet him, and tried to get him to stop nibbling on her sleeve, it came to mind that she'd actually been rather lucky with it all. Sure, they had had their fair share of problems, and those weren't ending anytime soon. But they'd also had friends to go through it with, or to distract them, or just to keep them from falling. Irina, of course, came to mind - she couldn't have survived without her. But also Pericles, the bird boy, who was so kind and so smart and also sometimes a bird, and Qrow, who sure, she hadn't seen often, but they were still her beloved dormmate. Along with Mells and Nora. And then there was Astra, the sharer of Mahlioz's braincell, a new friend from this year as well, but it felt like they'd known her forever.
Gods, she'd been lucky. Gods, she still was. And now there was a whole summer where she wouldn't see any of them. How that was going to go, they dreaded finding out.
Because they were moving to France. Ever since they'd found out in December, they'd been either stuffing it to the back of their mind or trying to think about it but feeling nothing. But now, as she sat by the window in a compartment with people who came and went through it, she didn't feel nothing. She felt a whole lot, and it was all tangled up, but it was very much sadness on the top, overwhelmingly.
How were they supposed to say goodbye to everything they loved? To everything they'd ever known? This was their home they were leaving. Her city, the one she knew so well even though she rarely left her reading to explore it. It was their garden and their trampoline and their little targets for archery. And her room and her furniture and her terrace and heck, she'd even miss the broom closet. This time next year, they'd be a third year on their way to a house they did not call home.
Okay, that was crazy. She was a third year now, or nearly. She'd been at Hogwarts for two entire years. That was insane. What was their next year going to look like? It had taken them some time, but they'd chosen the classes they wanted to take: Ancient Runes because they were so cool, and Divination, because after meeting the professor, it had seemed pretty interesting. At least there was that to look forward to. Maybe when things got to be too much over the summer, she could lose herself in researching them, so she'd be ready for third year.
Eusèbe hopped out of Mahlioz's lap and onto the bench beside them, bringing them back to reality for a few moments. There were people in the compartment now - it had been a couple hours since they left Hogwarts. No one they knew, but that was okay. They needed some time alone. Not that they weren't going to have enough once they got home, but they needed some time before that, to prepare themselves.
What with all the moving chaos, would she have time to figure out the whole gender thing? It had been over a year since she'd started questioning. There had been some progression, like figuring out she/they was the way to go, and that the book she'd gotten at the library was not helpful at all. And they'd talked to some nonbinary people. But none of it really... fit. They knew Reltyl liked researching about genders online - there was a lot more online about it than there was in books - but she didn't want to ask them, with the whole fight they'd had in December. Maybe they would have to look by themselves. That was scary. But they were too curious not to.
Eusèbe had fallen asleep and Mahlioz was absentmindedly petting him. It had been forever since she'd actually sat down to think about everything for this long. It felt kind of nice. Not freeing, exactly, because her problems were still there and she still had to face them, but at least she knew how she felt about them. Perhaps this summer wouldn't be as terrible as they were expecting.
