14 Sep 2023, 16:56
Please find your grace
[quote]
[quote]Lucia allowed herself to be herded down the Hogwarts corridors by her sister, trying not to look around. If she did, then she might catch somebody's eyes, and then she might be subject to their silent judgement. Where Briar was taking her, she wasn't quite sure: she almost suggested the Room of Requirement as a place for them to talk privately, but time spent there with Eun-ji had linked it to the Ravenclaw in her mind and Lucia wasn't certain she'd be able to bear it. She had an inexplicable urge to just disappear - to get away from it all, so she would never have to face the consequences which she knew would have to come eventually.
For now, though, she felt Briar pull her through a door and shut it behind them. Finally, a moment of peace. They had ended up in the abandoned toilets on the second floor, a place which Lucia usually avoided. It always smelled a little - probably because it was so disused. As Briar went from cubicle to cubicle, throwing open doors to check that nobody else was around, Lucia settled herself on the floor next to the sinks and tried to ignore how wet her cheeks were.
"Well?" Briar's voice wasn't harsh, exactly, but definitely not warm.
"Well what?"
Briar rolled her eyes, sitting down next to her sister. "For Merlin's sake, Lucia. Everyone's saying we're part-Veelas, I've had at least three strangers ask me about it and tell me you confirmed it. People are... looking at me weird. I deserve an explanation, don't you think?"
Briar did deserve an explanation. She would be affected by Lucia's mistake just as much as Lucia herself. Lucia just needed to get the words out. "It was so stupid," she confessed, eyes fixed on a toilet door rather than Briar. "I just... I was in a bad mood. Everything seemed to be going wrong." Lucia sighed. Her day of a thousand mundane accidents felt like it had been a million years ago, not less than an hour. "I was so mad. And then I bumped into somebody. Literally, walked face-first into them. Spilt ink all over them and my library books-" Lucia suddenly realised she didn't have the library books anymore; she must have left them in the corridor - "and I was just so fed up and so angry. And then I blamed them for it."
"Even though it was your fault?"
Lucia wilted. "Yeah." Briar didn't offer any more comment, so she carried on. "So, um, they were getting really angry too, obviously. And then someone else got involved and we were all riled up and it was just too much and my head felt like it was going to burst and I screamed." In a small voice, she continued. "It was horrible, Bree. I was screaming, and then their ears, their ears started bleeding, and I just kept screaming, and then I didn't have any breath left and when I stopped they were looking at me like I was some sort of monster-"
"You're not a monster." Lucia looked up, startled by her sister's interruption. "You're not. You're a kid, and you made a stupid mistake, but you're not a monster. Carry on."
Shaken, Lucia did so. "Um, well they were saying about how only people with Veela ancestry can do that, and I must be part-Veela, and I just... didn't see the point of denying it. It was obvious. And they were going to tell everybody and I was sure somebody else must have heard me scream, so I... ran. I ran."
Silence descended over the toilets, broken only by each sister's breathing. Strangely, it wasn't a suffocating silence, but rather silence that felt like a weighted blanket, heavy but comfortable. After a minute or so, Briar spoke. "I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later."
Lucia's head snapped up. "What d'you mean?"
"Oh, only that Ebony kept Marigold secret for, what, almost thirty years." Briar elaborated. "Secrets don't like to be kept for that long. You've read enough books, things like that never turn out well."
A sigh, and Lucia slumped back against the wall. "What about, you know, generational secrets? Surely it could have been one of those. And our descendents could have ruined their lives, not us." The thought was selfish, maybe, but even being a Hufflepuff Lucia couldn't help wishing her personal tragedy upon somebody else.
Briar shrugged. "This will change our lives a lot, Merlin knows that. But I don't think it will ruin them."
"Hah." Lucia was suprised to find a scornful laugh escape her lips. "Tell that to Ebony, when she finds out. Tell that to - tell that to Eun-ji."
"Eun-ji? You didn't mention Eun-ji. What happened?"
Lucia paused. Her... fight? Talk? Breakup?... with Eun-ji had only been a few minutes ago; the wound was still raw, and Lucia suspected it would be for a while. "I... I went to see her. That's where I ran too. I should've found you first, I suppose, but..." Lucia trailed off, then took a deep breath and picked up the story again. "I found her in the ballroom. Wanted her to hear it from me, you know?"
In the pause that followed, Briar nodded. "I do know."
"Right, well, I went, and I was crying, and it was a mess, and then I told her and she said we couldn't be friends anymore and trying my best wasn't enough and she's making things easier for herself and-" Had she started crying again? She had.
Briar reached an arm around Lucia's shoulders and waited for the Hufflepuff to cry herself out. "People are horrible. And Eun-ji doesn't deserve you."
"Eun-ji's not horrible." The defence sprung forward before Lucia even knew what she was saying. "She's just protecting herself... from me."
"Merlin's pants, Lucia!" Briar leapt to her feet, and Lucia followed suit, watching as her sister began to pace around the sinks. "Just because we're part-Veelas doesn't mean we're a liability to everyone around us! It's just generations upon generations of prejudice and hatred and nobody does their own research to make choices for themselves! Including you!"
"I don't need to do research when I'm MAKING PEOPLE'S EARS BLEED!" Lucia cried. "MERLIN KNOWS IT'S OBVIOUS! AND EUN-JI SEES IT'S OBVIOUS, AND ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GOING TO SEE IT'S OBVIOUS-"
"THEN YOU NEED TO GET BETTER FRIENDS!" Briar roared back, "BECAUSE I TOLD FAITH YEARS AGO AND SHE'S STILL HERE!"
"What?" Startled out of her rage, Lucia dropped back down to normal volume. "She... knew?" Lucia had only met Faith, Briar's best friend since first year, a few times, but knew that she was from an old pureblood family who surely wouldn't appreciate their daughter being friends with a non-pureblood, let alone a non-human.
"Yeah. I found someone I trusted, Lucia, and I trusted her. She's... she's a decent person. There aren't many people like that."
"I don't think I know how to tell who's a decent person," Lucia breathed out, suddenly feeling the tiredness settle onto her bones and suck the energy out of her. "I think I want to go to bed."
Briar gave her a worried look. "It's barely evening; you haven't even had dinner yet."
"I don't think I could face everyone," said Lucia with a shake of her head. "And I'm not hungry anyway. I'm just... tired." Hesitantly, she reached out for a hug, thankful when Briar returned it. She turned to go.
Just as she opened the door, Lucia heard Briar's voice behind her. "I love you, Lucy."
"I love you too."
| ❦ LUCIA FOX Oh, there's nothing like a mad woman |
Reducio ─────────────────── TIME October 11th 2022, after Will you catch me if I should fall?. ─────────── INTERACTIONS Solo, mentioning @Eun-ji Lee Hunt |
For now, though, she felt Briar pull her through a door and shut it behind them. Finally, a moment of peace. They had ended up in the abandoned toilets on the second floor, a place which Lucia usually avoided. It always smelled a little - probably because it was so disused. As Briar went from cubicle to cubicle, throwing open doors to check that nobody else was around, Lucia settled herself on the floor next to the sinks and tried to ignore how wet her cheeks were.
"Well?" Briar's voice wasn't harsh, exactly, but definitely not warm.
"Well what?"
Briar rolled her eyes, sitting down next to her sister. "For Merlin's sake, Lucia. Everyone's saying we're part-Veelas, I've had at least three strangers ask me about it and tell me you confirmed it. People are... looking at me weird. I deserve an explanation, don't you think?"
Briar did deserve an explanation. She would be affected by Lucia's mistake just as much as Lucia herself. Lucia just needed to get the words out. "It was so stupid," she confessed, eyes fixed on a toilet door rather than Briar. "I just... I was in a bad mood. Everything seemed to be going wrong." Lucia sighed. Her day of a thousand mundane accidents felt like it had been a million years ago, not less than an hour. "I was so mad. And then I bumped into somebody. Literally, walked face-first into them. Spilt ink all over them and my library books-" Lucia suddenly realised she didn't have the library books anymore; she must have left them in the corridor - "and I was just so fed up and so angry. And then I blamed them for it."
"Even though it was your fault?"
Lucia wilted. "Yeah." Briar didn't offer any more comment, so she carried on. "So, um, they were getting really angry too, obviously. And then someone else got involved and we were all riled up and it was just too much and my head felt like it was going to burst and I screamed." In a small voice, she continued. "It was horrible, Bree. I was screaming, and then their ears, their ears started bleeding, and I just kept screaming, and then I didn't have any breath left and when I stopped they were looking at me like I was some sort of monster-"
"You're not a monster." Lucia looked up, startled by her sister's interruption. "You're not. You're a kid, and you made a stupid mistake, but you're not a monster. Carry on."
Shaken, Lucia did so. "Um, well they were saying about how only people with Veela ancestry can do that, and I must be part-Veela, and I just... didn't see the point of denying it. It was obvious. And they were going to tell everybody and I was sure somebody else must have heard me scream, so I... ran. I ran."
Silence descended over the toilets, broken only by each sister's breathing. Strangely, it wasn't a suffocating silence, but rather silence that felt like a weighted blanket, heavy but comfortable. After a minute or so, Briar spoke. "I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later."
Lucia's head snapped up. "What d'you mean?"
"Oh, only that Ebony kept Marigold secret for, what, almost thirty years." Briar elaborated. "Secrets don't like to be kept for that long. You've read enough books, things like that never turn out well."
A sigh, and Lucia slumped back against the wall. "What about, you know, generational secrets? Surely it could have been one of those. And our descendents could have ruined their lives, not us." The thought was selfish, maybe, but even being a Hufflepuff Lucia couldn't help wishing her personal tragedy upon somebody else.
Briar shrugged. "This will change our lives a lot, Merlin knows that. But I don't think it will ruin them."
"Hah." Lucia was suprised to find a scornful laugh escape her lips. "Tell that to Ebony, when she finds out. Tell that to - tell that to Eun-ji."
"Eun-ji? You didn't mention Eun-ji. What happened?"
Lucia paused. Her... fight? Talk? Breakup?... with Eun-ji had only been a few minutes ago; the wound was still raw, and Lucia suspected it would be for a while. "I... I went to see her. That's where I ran too. I should've found you first, I suppose, but..." Lucia trailed off, then took a deep breath and picked up the story again. "I found her in the ballroom. Wanted her to hear it from me, you know?"
In the pause that followed, Briar nodded. "I do know."
"Right, well, I went, and I was crying, and it was a mess, and then I told her and she said we couldn't be friends anymore and trying my best wasn't enough and she's making things easier for herself and-" Had she started crying again? She had.
Briar reached an arm around Lucia's shoulders and waited for the Hufflepuff to cry herself out. "People are horrible. And Eun-ji doesn't deserve you."
"Eun-ji's not horrible." The defence sprung forward before Lucia even knew what she was saying. "She's just protecting herself... from me."
"Merlin's pants, Lucia!" Briar leapt to her feet, and Lucia followed suit, watching as her sister began to pace around the sinks. "Just because we're part-Veelas doesn't mean we're a liability to everyone around us! It's just generations upon generations of prejudice and hatred and nobody does their own research to make choices for themselves! Including you!"
"I don't need to do research when I'm MAKING PEOPLE'S EARS BLEED!" Lucia cried. "MERLIN KNOWS IT'S OBVIOUS! AND EUN-JI SEES IT'S OBVIOUS, AND ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GOING TO SEE IT'S OBVIOUS-"
"THEN YOU NEED TO GET BETTER FRIENDS!" Briar roared back, "BECAUSE I TOLD FAITH YEARS AGO AND SHE'S STILL HERE!"
"What?" Startled out of her rage, Lucia dropped back down to normal volume. "She... knew?" Lucia had only met Faith, Briar's best friend since first year, a few times, but knew that she was from an old pureblood family who surely wouldn't appreciate their daughter being friends with a non-pureblood, let alone a non-human.
"Yeah. I found someone I trusted, Lucia, and I trusted her. She's... she's a decent person. There aren't many people like that."
"I don't think I know how to tell who's a decent person," Lucia breathed out, suddenly feeling the tiredness settle onto her bones and suck the energy out of her. "I think I want to go to bed."
Briar gave her a worried look. "It's barely evening; you haven't even had dinner yet."
"I don't think I could face everyone," said Lucia with a shake of her head. "And I'm not hungry anyway. I'm just... tired." Hesitantly, she reached out for a hug, thankful when Briar returned it. She turned to go.
Just as she opened the door, Lucia heard Briar's voice behind her. "I love you, Lucy."
"I love you too."
│= | #00308F ency • cassie heather | =│ | breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out Part-Veela • Alluring • Perfectionist • Scream • Sta 9 • Eva 9 • Stre 4 • Wis 10 • Arc 8 • Acc 9 | │ |