Remorse and Realization Solo

Her footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as she quickly made her way down to the hospital wings. Suddenly, the young girl stopped walking. The abrupt pause ended as she continued walking, now a lot more hesitantly. She had been avoiding this visit for days now. Dee had been in a coma for around 2 weeks and the brunette hadn't even mustered up the courage to visit her once. A real friend wouldn't have waited that long. Well, they weren't really friends anyway.

Before entering the hospital wing, Samantha stopped and hid behind the double doors. Fully aware of what she would find behind the doors, she still didn't want to believe it. If she didn't enter the room she could still pretend Dee was doing just fine. A part of her didn't want to face the older girl, it wanted to stay hidden behind those doors. It was so hard to enter the room. Samantha was also ashamed of the way she had treated Dee since the fight they had in May. It had all started with a fun trip to Hogsmeade to get some chocolate frogs for Samantha, but it had soon spiraled down into a huge drama. Both of the girls had been too stubborn to admit they were wrong. The shame she felt only grew as she stood there, waiting for some kind of sign she should go in. Two voices from fellow students disrupted her thoughts and she realized standing there was useless. She needed to go inside.

It felt like her throat was closing up as she entered the room. Still, she kept walking. It took only a quick look to recognize Dee after which she quickly turned her eyes to the floor. There was a sudden interest in her worn-out sneakers from the young girl as she slowly walked toward her old friend. Only when she reached the bedside did the brunette look up from her shoes. And there she was, Dee. Her eyes were closed and the sparkle that could usually be seen in them was gone. Dee's smile was gone. Dee's clever remarks were gone. Was Dee gone?

Looking at her old friend, a wave of immense guilt hit her. Guilt that she had not visited her earlier. Guilt for all the mean things she had said to the older girl. Guilt that ate her alive. The brunette gently placed her small hand on Dee's motionless hand. As soon as their hands touched, the tears started to flow. Forming in the corner of her eyes were tears that would soon roll down her rosy cheeks. Oh how much she was willing to sacrifice just to have Dee wake up again. If she had a million galleons she would give it away without a second thought if it meant getting Dee back. Even if she would never be allowed to eat candy again, she would make that sacrifice. Even if it meant Dee would wake up and call her an idiot, a goody-two shoe, or whatever insult she could think of, it would be worth it.

"Dee, she whispered the name. Over the past few months, Samantha had only called the other girl Dealla to annoy her, but she didn't want to bother the other anymore. "I'm sorry," het voice broke as she thought of all the rude comments she had made, just because of that stupid fight. "Please forgive me." She got no reply. Of course, she didn't. "I miss you," she admitted. "Not just now but every day since we had that fight.". The young girl missed all the fun times they had spent together, the laughs they had shared. All their beautiful moments had been replaced by angry glares and hurtful remarks if they even looked at each other.

"Please be my friend again," she begged, despite knowing there would be no response. "I would do anything to make it up to you. I would buy you all the chocolate frogs you want, say sorry a thousand times, or get you a million flowers. Whatever it takes to be friends again!" A depressing thought hit her. What if Dee wanted to have to do nothing with her? Just like Eun-ji had made it clear she didn't want to be friends with Samantha last year during the ball. Maybe Dee didn't want to be friends with her either. Maybe she wasn't worthy to be a friend. "But if you-" her voice broke. "If you don't want to be friends anymore I respect that. If you don't want me to speak your name ever again, I won't. If you never want to see me again- she broke down in tears, " you won't have to."

What if this was the last time she saw Dee? No, she couldn't think like that. She shook her head and forcefully dried her tears. You are going to wake up. You are going to be fine. You have to! she declared, not believing herself. "If you wake- no, when you wake up," she corrected herself, "we will eat a thousand chocolate frogs and I will tell you everything you missed." She could tell dee about Bubba, who had asked her to the ball. "If that's what you want." With those words, she left the other girl alone. It took losing Dee to realize how important she was to her.