penny for your thoughts? pv jack burnett

February 19, 2023

Read,
I'm sorry to hear about your problem. Unfortunately, I think I know a little about how those love triangles work and they bloody suck. I was part of one myself, after all, and it was horrible. But I know you can't really choose who you fall for or even if you fall for anyone in the first place. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Ha! The person I fell for also happened to be my dormmate. My roommate too, actually. It's awful how you have to see them every day and deal with those feelings, isn't it? But I don't understand something. You said you're not the object of affection within this love triangle, but you also said you're the only one the person you've become infatuated with seems to want. How can both of those things be true at the same time?

Wait, wait, wait, is this Rhain person you spoke of the person you're infatuated with? What exactly happened during the Valentine's Ball? I'm surprised you went to one of those at all, honestly. Did you go with anyone?

I'll try my best to help, but I'm afraid I'm pretty useless with this subject myself. All I can suggest would be to try telling the person you're infatuated with that you like them. I don't think I really had the courage to do that properly myself and it kind of blew up on me. I hope you have better luck than I did.

Sincerely,


P. S. Wait, I remember now. Isn't Rhain the name of one of your brothers? How come you were surprised he tried to help you? Isn't that what brothers do?

@Rhys Read

20 February 2023

Burnett,
Well, I initially believed I wasn't the object of affection. It seemed like the one I'm taken with was the object of affection, and I was competing in a ridiculous middle-school rendition of The Bachelor (which, from my experience, would not be worth watching even if it was a thing). But Friday night happened, and now it would seem I am the object of affection. And I frankly don't have a clue what I'm to do about it, since my mind is in a jumbled state.

Haha, yeah, Rhain's my brother. (So a hard no to your previous question.) And he surprised me by helping because prior to this he didn't really show that he was inclined to caring much about me at all. Rhun's a prick, and Rhain usually just does whatever he wants him to do, since they're twins and Rhain has insecurities and whatnot, so it surprised me that he seems to sort of be becoming his own person separate from Rhun. I don't know. He said he notices a lot more than I give him credit for, which is true. I always thought he was as oblivious as Rhun is when it comes to my identity, but I guess not saying anything about something isn't the same as not noticing or knowing it.

What exactly happened is a good question. To be honest with you, I hardly know myself, but I'll do my best to summarize.

The person I'm taken with (let's call them 'A') was already dancing with their ball partner (let's call her 'J') when I arrived. The girl who'd asked me ('K') wasn't there yet, so I hung around the snack area waiting to see if she'd show up. A ended up leaving J to get them both some punch, and since I found it awkward to ignore them (we were like the only ones around the snacks) I went over to say hi. We were on pretty good terms with each other, and while I hate to say 'friends', that's close to what we were becoming. (Gross, I know, but what can I say?) So the least I could do was say hi.

And then, Burnett, things began to get interesting. A basically... confessed to me, did a whole rant thing (which was both nerdy and endearing?) and then proceeded to ask me to be their partner, all in a rush. I then told them I had some reservations about the whole thing (we're 11, I don't need to be forming attachments, etcetera, etcetera) and asked about if there was something already between them and J (the answer, of course, seemed to be yes-- after all, they'd been dancing together, so they seemed to be getting pretty close.) And that I believe was when I messed up, because A sort of seemed to apologize, told me to have fun that night, and left before I could say anything.

So following A's departure, I took it upon myself to bring J the punch that A had forgotten about, since it didn't seem fair to her that they'd sort of disappeared on her. By now A had come back and was sitting at a table, but didn't seem to notice whatever I was doing that I now realize was semi-self destructive. I apologized (because it felt like I had to) and gave J her punch, but while I did that, A left in a rush. Next thing I know, J's having a full on panic-attack, certain she was the reason that A had left, saying all these things about she had driven them away and blaming herself. Rhain's quick to come over to try to calm her down so we don't cause a scene (a bit late for that), and she agrees that we should go find A to see if they're alright.

But then, lo and behold, my date to the ball arrives right as we're about to leave. She gave me a gift (that to this day I have not opened, mostly out of guilt), and I definitely made Rhain explain that we needed to go do something "super important" in Gryffindor (K is a Hufflepuff, and we were trying to keep this down to as least people as possible), and I left him to keep her company since it really more concerned me and J rather than anyone else.

The scene moves to the astronomy tower, where A is a crying mess and playing violin (the latter I had no idea they did). J rushes in, also a mess, and apologizes, kneeling before A and kissing their hand while I stumble in (those stairs are hell, Burnett. Absolutely hell. What a price just to be close to the stars. No, thanks, I can stargaze from the courtyard.) Anyways, I see that these two are clearly having a moment, so I try to leave, but A's all like 'no one's going anywhere until we sort this thing out!' And I got frustrated because this whole thing is so freaking ridiculous, so I snapped back with how they'd been stringing us both along, and how they were the one at fault, and I asked them to please enlighten us and tell us what the heck what was going on, what they expected from us both. They then proceeded to basically friendzone J (I honestly feel for J, she literally didn't do anything wrong) and tell me how much they care for me and all that, and then they broke down crying.

And this is a moment where I felt really, really, bad and guilty, so I sort of had this weird, rare moment where I went over and hugged them, then stepped away (physical touch, to me, is basically synonymous with stepping on a lego.) J then said she us in the dorms later, wished us both a good night (?) and then threw a jewelry off the astronomy tower before leaving. I left shortly after that, too emotionally drained, and then resigned to hiding in the library for the rest of the night.

Your advice is reasonable, if only I wasn't terrified to do just that. After the whole fiasco (which was a really long story, I'm sorry) I don't know exactly how to process how I feel. If you can't tell, this thing sort of blew up on me as well.

How did you resolve your thing? Or did it just fizzle out?
Best,
𝓡𝓱𝔂𝓼 𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭

February 21, 2023

Read,
Wow, that certainly sounds like quite the night. I don't blame you for saying and doing what you did, though. I likely would have said and done the same. It's hard to know where your heart is, especially at 11. Sounds like Rhain really had your back that night, too. Glad you had someone like him on your side.

Hahaha, I agree those stairs to the Astronomy Tower are hell, but good for you for climbing them for A. Sounds like a lot of crying was involved on their part, though. Must have been quite a sight to walk in on them crying while playing the piano. And poor J. I can definitely see how the whole thing would be emotionally taxing for you. Funny how we try to keep away from people and stuff like this still ends up happening, doesn't it? It's like the more you try to avoid drama, the more it seeks you out.

Don't be sorry about telling me the story. I asked for it and I appreciate that you trust me enough to have told it to me. May I ask what you're worried about happening if you tell your own feelings? It's understandable if you're having trouble processing how you feel, though. I'm sorry; I wish I could be of more use. I hope things get more clear for you with time.

Uh, as far as my thing, I kind of half told the person I liked them by telling them I would have wanted to ask them to go to the ball with them sooner, but that I could never work up the courage and that they always seemed to have someone else to go with so it seemed pointless for me to ask in the first place. Well, they didn't like that. Not one bit. They said after all the things we talked about, I didn't think they might want to know that? And were they just supposed to read my mind?

So, uh...yeah. That's what I get for not having come out with it in the first place. So that's why it's my advice to you that once you think you understand your feelings, there's no better time like the present to share them. You never know what you might end up losing or regretting later if you don't.

Sincerely,

@Rhys Read