Ava had been sending letters to her friend Charlie for days now. They had definitely given way to her true feelings of being at this place. Although she had only been here for a month, it felt like years spent in this place. She made efforts in all of the activities and always kept a smile on her face, but the staff working at the hospital could surely see past her efforts. She was stilling showing promising improvement, no longer the unreliable and emotional girl she had entered a month ago, yet she now seemed like a blank chalkboard, displaying the same thing day after day. The members were busy with their everyday tasks, and they hadn’t seemed able to get around to talking to her yet. They always checked her letters before ending them, and they always kept a close watch on the letters she was receiving. It seemed that some agreement had gone through the staff, leaving one unfortunate soul in charge of reading through the letters day after day. Although described as unfortunate, they were anything but, instead a happy, caring soul who wanted nothing more than for the patients residing in the hospital to get better. The letters they had read were unsettling, showing Ava’s unhappiness to her current situation. The letter reader wanted to change that. With the current letter from Charlie Jacobsen in hand, she marched up to Ava’s room and confronted her.

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It was the same routine every time a letter came in. The staff got the letter, brought it to me and I put a smile on my face. Welcome them in, they drop the letter off, Shazam. So when the staff member walked in today I put a smile on my face and waved them in. The room I was in was small. A bed, a desk and a chair. I waited for her to set the letter on the desk but she never did, instead settling into the chair with a look on her face that said this was not going to be a quick visit. I flopped down onto the bed and let the smile on my face droop. I examined the woman who had come. Pretty, late twenties maybe. Gorgeous blond hair, dazzling green eyes. I was surprised the modeling companies hadn’t snatched her yet. She was too pretty to be in a place like this. I stared at her confrontingly. She clearly was here to talk about the letter clutched in her hand. The silence was stretching to long, so I spoke. “I’m Ava,” I made no move to extend a hand or smile at her, just stared at her. “Crystal,” she gave me an even stare. I tried not to look exasperated. “And?” I pushed, ready to get this over with. “And,” she said, a smiling pulling at her lips. I raised my eyebrows as if to say, go on. “And we—I have been noticing some very strange things in your writing. Let me see…” she drew some typed up documents out of her pocket and I grimaced. Of course they would be keeping records of everything I sent. “‘I feel more and more angry with myself.’” she read aloud, a line from my first letter. “‘I felt the need to punish myself’, ‘I hate myself more and more each day’, ‘Keep hating me.’” The words flowed from her mouth like a waterfall, each one slapping my like a stone. I lay still on my bed, unwilling to meet her eyes. “For someone in rehabilitation, this sure doesn’t sound like the letters they would be sending’” She looked at me pointedly while I averted my eyes. “Ava,“ she said sympathetically, “why do you feel this way?” I looked at her with something unreadable in my gaze. “Exactly,” she said like my lack of response was enough. I clenched my fists and felt my anger boil over.“This is exactly what I don’t like about it here. You guys act like I have the brain of a toad and can’t think for myself. And you still haven’t punished me—” she looked me up and down quickly. “And you want to be punished?” She said, cutting me off. “Yes! I deserve to! And—” She tilted her head at me. “Why do you deserve to?” I looked at her like she was crazy. “Because I tried to—” She interrupted me yet again. “Try? You didn’t do?” She asked, not letting me finish. “Yes, I only tried and then I stopped. I couldn’t actually do it,” I sniffled heavily and felt tears push at the corners of my eyes. “That is why you have to be punished? Because you stopped yourself from hurting someone?” When she put it that way it did sound ridiculous. “Yes but I—” the interruptions were becoming infuriating. “That is the reason you are here. You found the power inside you to stop evil from spreading. You chose to stop even though you didn’t have to. You are here so we can make a good human out of you.” She had stood up throughout her speech, and she fell back in her chair as she neared the end. “and I believe you are brave enough to face the journey no matter how tough it is.” The tears were running openly down my face at this point. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I stood up and gave Crystal a hug. She seemed mildly surprised, and just dropped the onto my desk. She, however unintentionally, gave me something to fight for. And I would fight hard.