Leaving Platform 9 3/4 was easy. Olive's best moments had always been away from the walls of what she had called home until a moment ago, so leaving it all behind actually felt like a burden being lifted from her shoulders. She felt...free. It was inside the train that reality hit her and she realized some things were still the same. Se walked through it, trying to find a compartment, her heart racing. Should I sit by myself and wait and see who would want to sit next to me or should I be the one trying out my luck in somebody else's compartment?- she thought.

Olive had never had much luck befriending girls her own age. It felt like they were always competing with her for some reason. Olive never thought she was better than anybody but it seemed like girls did not relate to her much and were always trying to show they were better somehow. Except for older girls who took her in as a younger sister. That had happened once and it was really nice to be welcomed into the group. The problem was her mom didn't like Olive hanging out with older girls and would make it difficult for Olive to spend time with those friends. To tell the truth, Olive's mom preferred that she was alone. Maybe because she thought it would be easier to control Olive. Or maybe she was just mean and wanted Olive quiet indoors all the time. But there was no way she could control Olive... Time would tell how wrong her mom was about that.

In any case, boys seemed to be nicer to her. There was no competition and they treated her more as an equal. The problem was her older brother who would get jealous and kick her out of conversations when he was around. According to him, girls did not know anything about anything and should be elsewhere playing with their dolls or something.

Olive had a couple of younger girl friends once. Two sisters. They were nice until they started fighting among themselves because the older one was trying to boss the younger one around or because both wanted to be Olive's one true best friend... She wondered what it would be like if SHE had a sister close to her age? Would they get along? She would never know...

Now it all came back to her, all the failed relationships. All that went wrong. Hogwarts was a dreamed fresh start and the very first time she would be able to stick to a group of people for 7 years! This HAD TO work! So she thought about her options... If she tried older girls, she would not be hanging out with them a lot since they would be taking different classes... And there was a good chance they would not want a first year in the group anyway. There wouldn't be any younger girls to hang out with this time either so the age of potential friends was pretty much decided already. Would boys be ok with her right away...? I mean... Would it be like in her neighborhood, showing up and asking what they were doing and waiting to hear what they said? Long shot... Risky too...

Please, please, let me find a compartment with friendly people...boys, girls, whatever... I NEED this to work out for me...! It HAS TO be different this time around... I don't wanna have to defend myself this soon... It never ends well... Please, please, let me find some nice, people...! No popular kid, no bullies, just...NICE. Her thoughts were pretty much a prayer to the universe or whoever could listen and would be willing to give her a hand. She kept walking as slowly as she could without looking unnatural, just slow enough to be able to peek through each door with the corner of her eye hoping to find someone who would look back with something resembling a welcoming smile...

Olive was so lost in her thoughts, so nervous, she didn't even notice she had stopped walking and was now standing in front of a cabin where two boys were talking to each other and then stopped at the sight of her standing there. She felt so embarrassed, she wanted to run away... It's not like she lacked basic social skills, it was the high level of anxiety that had once again put Olive in some sort of trance for a few seconds. If they offered any courses on how to control a very turbulent mind, Olive would be all in for it! She learned to channel all her thoughts and feelings into music and arts in general but life was more than playing music, painting or carving wood. Something inside of her needed tuning, fixing maybe. It didn't happen often but sometimes she did get lost when she went too deep into her thoughts and feelings. On those occasions there was some damage control to be done afterwards if she didn't want to become the weirdo of the century. This was definitely one of those occasions...

She opened the cabin door as politely as she could. Her body language and facial expression seemed to be apologizing for doing something terrible.

Hi! I... I was just... I didn't mean to stare, I was just looking for an empty cabin, I didn't want to interrupt... This one is clearly taken, but... I just wanted to apologize for standing there like a crazy person. and she let out an embarrassed and yet sweet smile. Never mind! I'm sorry I bothered you! Enjoy the trip!

Then she closed the door and left as quickly as she could and hoping the boys would not make it a big deal and forget about her.

Just take a deep breath, Olive, you can do this, you can do this, it's gonna be alright... - she told herself in a very low voice as she walked away.

Olive finally found a cabin with a couple of older girls. She asked if she could sit with them. They nodded and kept on talking as if nothing had happened. Olive felt her chest tight and wanted to cry. But her eyes kept dry. She had been so used to holding back her tears that they didn't come at all anymore. There was just a tightness in her chest and at times some pain. But not this time. She was used to being alone so she did what she always did when people ignored her, she let her mind go places and pretended no one was there. That's probably what kept Olive from letting her loneliness and pain turning into resentment and anger.

Yeah... Just more of the same, different address. What was I thinking?- she thought. And she wondered why she was so different from everybody else. She didn't look different. She didn't think she acted too different either. But it was clear to her that there was something about her that stood out to everyone somehow and kept them away from her. She was sure it wasn't something good or people would want to talk to her. Maybe one day I'll meet somebody like me. Or just somebody who will be ok with me just the way I am. Maybe I'm not that bad at all. I don't think I am. I AM AWESOME! Although all these words were just inside Olive's head, her face may have let some of it out because the girls gave her a quick side look trying to not be noticed. Then, when they were back to talking to each other as if Olive wasn't there, she pulled out her sketchbook and started drawing a single huge and beautiful tree on top of a mountain on a sunny day.

Adrenaline levels were back to normal. Olive could think straight now. The first steps were taken and now things would start falling into their places.

She had finished her drawing and was somewhat satisfied with the result. Her illustrations never had people in them. They were mostly plants and sceneries. Flowers, she loved flowers. But her favorite was cactuses. The idea that some living thing adapted to survive in lack of water and still kept its beauty was something she could relate to. Cactus flowers were like...magic! You look at them, it does not make sense and yet, it's there, beautiful, defiant.

Her stomach started roaring... She didn't eat when she was anxious and leaving home to go to Hogwarts was all she could think of since she woke up so she forgot to eat. Her mom didn't notice. Olive was used to fending for herself and figuring things out on her own. She had to learn very early in life, which was a bit sad but she liked her independence. She just wished she was also allowed to be independent in OTHER things but things were going to change now that she was going to Hogwarts.

I just wish I had got a window seat... It sucks staring at walls! Every time I look outside the other two girls in the cabin think I'm looking at them and frown. Where is the food trolley they were talking about anyway??

Olive was impatient... It wasn't the hunger so much because she did have something to snack on in her bag. (She was always prepared!) It was the boredom that was driving her insane. So she decided to go look outside to see if the food trolley was anywhere to be seen. Once she was out of the cabin, she could see the beautiful hills and the sky. It was an astonishing view! She took a deep breath. Looking at nature always made her feel good, no matter how bad things were. Still taking that in Olive felt like she wasn't ready to go back in just yet so she decided to walk down the corridor of the compartments slowly, taking her time. It would be good to stretch her legs too, she thought. Then off she went.