A Free Hug PV Kaegen Deathmote Closed

His hands had shook when he wrote that last letter, spilling some of his glass of water and a lot of ink on it. He was allergic to something, which made sense considering it was springtime. He had a bit of a low fever when he was writing it, coupled with tearing eyes and all the side affects of the two. It wasn't all too bad, but still annoying. And it seemed to come and go at random times.

Eris had offered a hug. Hugs were something that, as a whole, Kaegen was torn over. They made you vulnerable, easy to pickpocket, easier to stab. They felt strange and most of the students here didn't exactly smell the nicest. But there was one person he loved to get hugs from. There was only one person because he only had one friend. And a friend was someone you could trust, trust enough to hug.

And if you hugged someone you trusted, it felt amazing. Warm, and comforting and safe. He didn't know how she had known he had been tearing up earlier, but assumed it was because she, too, was allergic to whatever thing was floating around Hogwarts. Considering the magical powers the professors were supposed to wield, you would think they would stop at least some of the stuff floating around the air. How was he supposed to study hard enough to catch up to Eris if he kept having allergic reactions?

A quick scan of the area quickly revealed the location of his friend. She was by the same tree they always seemed to meet under, waiting for him. She was wearing the scarf he had made for her, crafted out of some fabric that a small wrinkled old man had gotten for him. It wasn't made very well, cut into the shape of a scarf, the ends and sides then sewn with tiny, neat stitches to stop it from fraying. The stitches weren't exactly well done, but at least it was hard to see them.

He moved towards her, tired face lightening up a little, feet moving along the ground with practically no sound. His scarf waved out to the side of him, silently flapping, soft fabric refusing to make a sound loud enough to be heard. But as he neared the girl he started to worry, just a little.

Was he supposed to go up and hug her, or wait for her to hug him? Should he make sure she knew where he was first, or assume she had seen him walk across the lawn? Was there a hugging etiquette he wasn't even aware of?

Not sure how to go about whatever it was he was doing, Kaegen moved to within about 2 feet of eris, and decided to opt for the simple greeting, moving from there after he had some idea how.
"Hi"

The ravenclaw boy's hands felt a bit awkward by his side as he stood there. Like he should be doing something with them, or hold them differently. Kaegen finally decided on letting them slip out of their sleeves and fiddle with one of the straps on his shirt.

How in the world had they ever become friends? It had been strange, the start of the year. The frivolous antics the two had gotten into unintentionally, sometimes in the presence of Eri Windstone or other first years. In those simple days, before the allure of violent actions and barbaric Gryffindor friends, there had been contentment. Sure, things had been strange. One could only imagine the oddity of life with only Kaegen and Adam for friends ,considering the innate capacity for weirdness that Kaegen had been blessed with. Those days had been pleasant enough, yet the two children had changed, along with their friendship. Yet, somethings had stayed the same, for even as life changed, the urge to stay together, to be connected, only grew in the hearts of the children. It was the truth of humanity, whispered through the soft spoken tongues of children, told by adults with stars in their eyes, dreaming of the past with wistful thoughts, and experienced eyes. Humans longed for friendship, for someone to be there for them, for their voices to be heard. For their calls out into the void to be answered tenfold, for the fuzzy feeling of friendship and contentment to course through them. Even little lost boys like Kaegen Deathmote wished for this, just as much as little girls with tangled red hair wished for friendship.

Friendship was something that everyone craved, but changed with the seasons and the tides, never stagnant, always growing as the people who claimed to be friends grew up and matured. The boy in front of her had changed, looking more tired, less jittery and more accustomed to the floors of Hogwarts. At least he wasn't crawling around on his knees like a barbaric animal, which lead Eris to do the same, just to defend the boy from the stares of judging eyes. Truthfully, some inner part of herself relished the boy's comfort, whether it be through the strange ways he provided affection (knives, creature companionship, and his constant presence at her side.), or the way he physically embodied the magical world. He was wild as the magic that coursed through Eris's veins, as unruly as the paintings in the corridors of Hogwarts, and ever changing, just like the stairways that rotated and twisted as one attempted to amble through them.

Friendship was important, and a way to keep friendship was hugs. This was known by all, taught by word of mouth, or though the sweet gestures of an innocent child repeating what they had learned from their mother, wrapping their arms around their playmates to show their undying affection. Eris had not hugged many people in her short life. Although far from shy, there wasn't much of a reason to enjoy the pleasantries of hugging someone. There was no need to show affection, but there was something different about Kaegen, something that made the idea of a hug seem less formidable.

He was like a puppy, in constant need of love and affection, although he denied it. He might of seemed strong, but the quiet boy from Fens had more to him then what met the eye. Which was possibly why Eris had taken such a liking to him. Evidently, there was something so different about him. Something that reminded her of the characters in her books, different, brave, and stoic. Until the night she had found him crying, until the night she let him punch her, only to wrap her arms around the boy and promise to protect him from himself, from his confusion. Little did Eris know that Kaegen had pleaded similar vows the day he wrote her name on his scarf. Little did she know, as she watched it flap in the wind to dry, just how much of an impact the name on the scarf would have. Puppies grew to become dogs, and someday Kaegen would be a dog of his own, perhaps even a wolf.

For now, he was Eris's friend. Adjusting the scarf on her neck again, the girl looked up. There was no shadow of a boy, then there was. As if he had appeared out of nowhere, blending in with the shadows and the trees himself, as if he was part of the nature.

A small smile adorned his face, and Eris returned it, leaping to her feet. Watching him fiddle, the girl felt nervous, herself, but refused to admit it. Of course, hugging someone might of been strange, but it had seemed the appropriate thing to offer. There was nothing else she could give him. Kaegen would not understand if she gifted him something else, and Eris had a feeling that the mundane gifts of books or clothing would not please the boy. Besides that, Eris did not have the artistic ability to create anything for Kaegen, did not have the talent to draw anything besides stick figure doodles on the margins of her parchment.

Remembering the way other children had hugged at the park, and the fact that it was just a hug, not something that required a lot of work, or any tedious activities, Eris's smile turned into a grin. At least Kaegen had came, although he looked horrible. Tear trails ran down his face, and his eyes were red from crying, or something of the likeness.

"Kaegen, are you alright?" Eris greeted, twisting her hands into the fabric of her robes, before remembering just exactly what she had promised to do. Right, a hug. It was time to stop delaying, and to just get to it. There would be time to talk later.

Her feet did not stomp weightlessly through the grass as Kaegen's did. Every footstep could be heard, crunching over leaves and sticks, but she reached the boy and wrapped her arms around him as promised. Hopefully it wasn't a bad hug. Eris didn't have a sense for what a hug entitled exactly, but she tried her best, anyways.

Pulling away after a moment, Eris crossed her arms self consciously, and stared at Kaegen, still waiting for an answer to her prior question.

The little girl had gotten up, her small size belying the strength he knew lay hidden beneath a very thin shell, made up of her height. It was like holding a piece of paper up to a campfire and expecting the flames to be perfectly concealed. The paper might distract for a second, but only for a second.

Comfort was a strange word with stranger meaning. There is a great difference between comfort and safety. One was something the young ravenclaw was familiar with, something he knew as that feeling you got when you hid in a corner with a book, or when you knew for a fact nothing could hurt you. That was a nice feeling, the feeling of safety.

Comfort went beyond that. More than just a sense of safety it was a sense of belonging. It often felt like a hug, like steady pressure being applied all over, steady pressure that seemed to squeeze out any unpleasant thought or idea and squeeze in nothing but joy and peace. It was the peace that was most striking to the boy. He would think about it long after it had happened, but not during the feeling itself.

The hug was short, shorter than he would have liked. But for a brief time he did feel at peace, feel at home. He felt comfort and warmth, deep warmth that permeated his being. He felt pride. Pride for the honor of being her friend, of her being his friend.

The feeling broke off all too soon, and in the absence of her heat, the world seemed a bit colder, harsher. It seemed more bleak and desolate a place without the comfort of a friend’s embrace.

The little gryffindor asked him if he was okay. He thought about answers that he could give for about a second before responding.
“Yes, I’m alright”

She had done enough for him, he wasn’t going to burden her with any problems he may or may not be carrying around. He didn’t have any weighing on his mind at the moment anyway, all roots that were not in front of him temporarily forgotten.

“The best way to wash the scarf is to kinda shake it about while you swim. Like this.”

Smoothly, with the grace that usually accompanied the ravenclaw’s actions, Kaegen gently moved the scarf about, demonstrating how to make the item more or less decent without actually having to remove it from around the neck. He had forgotten to add instructions along with the OWL, and didn’t want to dwell on problems, even ones that he didn’t have.

It was a nice feeling, to have someone's arms wrapped around you, to feel encompassed by their warmth, to know that they'd support you. God, they had been through so much together, of course they would support each other. There wasn't much that her childlike mind could truly understand or wrap around, but her arms could wrap around her friend well enough. For once, her face was devoid of a blush, a strange sensation that was rare when Eris was around other children.

The whole year, she had struggled to understand the way children talked to each other, and the way social groups worked. The evidence of her struggle had been her punching, random sentences, and the way she struggled to understand why it wasn't okay to befriend people that your friends did not like, and why it wasn't okay to trust just anybody with your family history.

But in the moment, arms wrapped around Kaegen, scarf rubbing against her neck,Eris felt that she finally got just what school entailed. Underneath all the drama, lies, and punching, they were there to learn and grow. They had seven years at school, and they would have to make the best of it. These moments, pressed up for warmth next to a sad friend were the real ones that showed what Hogwarts should of been about. Not the drama of 11 year olds, but rather, the bonding of 11 year olds. And, of course, learning about magic, if one truly wanted to impress upon the real reasons for schooling.

A silence settled over the empty field, the only noise being the wind, as the two children broke apart, and Kaegen spoke in his faint whisper of a voice, confirming that he was okay, even though his eyes were red with what looked like the aftermath of tears. He than added on something about the care of the object tied around her neck, which caused a laugh to errupt from Eris's lips.

"Is it not simpler to just wash the scarf with the laundry?" Why did he talk like he never took the scarf off? Who in their right mind would go swimming with a scarf? At the start of the year, Eris would of been in shock, but this was Kaegen she was talking to. Of course he swam with a scarf. And, evidently, his swimming with the scarf was not the problem.

He looked more tired than usual, and the red spots under his eyes were a dead give away that her friend was sad. The pressing matter of scarf hygiene could wait, as the even more pressing matter of Kaegen's well being hung in the air.

"No matter how to wash a scarf. Kaegen, what's wrong? You look horrible. Your eyes are red, you look tired, and just, not okay. What is it?" The girl pressed, adjusting the scarf on her neck, before dropping her hands to her side to fiddle with her fingers, unsure of her words.

It took him a second to realize what she had implied, his tired heavy-lidded eyes opening wider for a brief instance as he recognized what the laundry was and how it didn’t work unless you took off the article of clothing and put it in said wash. And as the article of clothing being referred to was his scarf, that meant she was implying it would be easier if he removed his scarf and put it in the wash. In other words, take off the scarf.

Even as she said the issue with the scarf didn’t matter and asked about his red eyes and obviously deteriorating health, Kaegen’s mind was racing with fear at the thought of the scarf ever being removed from it’s position around his neck. The meaning it held for him had roots that ran deeper in his heart than even the importance of his name.

“I don’t take off the scarf. Ever.”

But even his racing, tired mind picked up the signals she was putting out. Eris thought he was looking weak. Red eyes and horrible appearance. She said he looked tired, there was no way he looked tired. He had gotten 3 hours of sleep last night. His body would have to make do, he wasn’t going to let it get tired. It was his body, wasn’t it? He had made a rule that said no getting tired, and set it in motion. His body would have to deal.

Would the wonderful being of fire and strength leave him, abandon him because of his weakness? Would she put two and two together and realize that he could never compare to the brilliance of her light? Kaegen forced his mind away from the dark thoughts and remembered past experiences. The good ones, the moments he realized that Eris was not going to leave him alone. That he had a friend, and that the friend was faithful.

She wasn’t going to leave him just because it looked like he was having a bad day. Besides, he had reasons, didn’t he? Reasons for why he looked the way he did.

Kaegen’s left hand twitched, an uncharacteristically jerky movement. It was a small one, difficult to notice. But it stood out. Everything on the boy seemed to move like the mist, drifting and smooth, a part of the landscape. His scarf twirled and flapped noiselessly in the wind, his movements were fluid. Except for that one. The prefect seemed to notice the movement and smoothly clenched his fist, long fingernails digging their dull points into his palm.

His eyes didn’t move, they stayed trained on the girl, a few errant strands of hair that seemed to be free of burn damage fell in front of one of them, but he didn’t move to brush it away. He had more pressing things on his mind, like how to convince her he was fine, he was fit to be by her side. There wasn’t much he could do without lying, a concept that was decidedly alien to the boy.

He found it interesting how different they looked, their appearance and demeanor polar opposites. He looked cold, with black hair and corpse white skin, long fingernails and long robes. Grey scarf and actions that reminded those observant enough to spot the boy of fog, mist and smoke.

The girl was short and bright, red hair and bright skin, loud voice and personality that screamed to everyone in the surrounding area that she was there. She was what he hoped to be. She was brave enough to flaunt who she was and where she was. A bonfire on a distant shore that mocked the world.

He had cried earlier, scarlet drops of blood running down his cheeks. You could faintly see the trail of dried blood, but most of it had dried up. He took one last breath before trying to convince the girl.

”I’m fine”

Now if that wasn’t a good excuse, nothing was. The entirely unconvincing statement seemed utterly foolproof to the young ravenclaw, verbal deception not being his forte in the slightest. It was something he had not practiced, and didn’t expect to have to practice. After all, why would he?

There was a moment of silence as Eris attempted to collect her thoughts, brow furrowing and teeth grinding against the side of her mouth, chewing on the inside of her gum in confused concentration, heeding Kaegen's words. For all of her internal monologue about not doubting his strangeness anymore, hearing that he never took off the scarf was far worse than hearing that he showered in it, and her resolve to remind calm and uncaring about her friend's quirkiness dissipated, replaced by the confused expression on her face, and worry for her friend's heath.

But this? This was horrible. Eris had lived on the streets long enough to know how disgusting dirty clothing was, and how gross waterlogged clothing was. Sleeping in his scarf after taking a shower? That sounded horrible, worse than living on the streets or any other kind of unclean habit that Eris had heard of.

How had she never smelt the stench of his scarf? Well, it wasn't like she tried to sniff him, Eris supposed with a crinkle of her nose. Releasing her teeth from the spot on her gum they had been gnawing on in thoughtfulness, Eris clicked her tongue once on the roof of her mouth, before rummaging in the pockets of her robes.

wand came out of pocket with gusto, the slick wooden surface sliding off her sweaty hands and into the air before Eris caught it and pointed the stick at Kaegen. Tip of her tongue sliding out of her mouth, and brow still furrowed in concentration, the tip of Eris's wand brought it's self down in an "S" shape. No tangible sign of magic, besides for the bubbles that appeared and than vanished from the top of his scarf, and the smell of citrus soap that lingered in the air, floating on the small breeze of the outdoors.

"The cleaning charm. Your scarf could use it, honestly. I can't imagine how disgusting it is to wear the same thing for days on end, without washing it. That's quite stupid, Kaegen,and I know you're a practitioner of all things stupid, but you do know you can get sick from wearing the same clothing all the time? Not to mention, smelly. God darn it, Kaegen, why do something that horrible to yourself? I lived without washing my clothing for about a month, and it was dreadful."

An exaggerated sigh slipped through Eris's lips, as she watched Kaegen's hand itch towards her, and then move back. Something was clearly wrong, and his feeble attempts to state otherwise were noticed, and frowned upon by Eris.

"Hey, seriously, what's wrong?"

Her voice dropped down an octave, worry still clear on her face. If Kaegen didn't want to tell her what was wrong, that was fine, but the offer stood in the air still. Eris was willing to listen to the boy, and just wanted to know what was wrong, which really wasn't that hard of a question to answer, unless something was horribly wrong.

"The cleaning charm. Your scarf could use it, honestly. I can't imagine how disgusting it is to wear the same thing for days on end, without washing it. That's quite stupid, Kaegen,and I know you're a practitioner of all things stupid, but you do know you can get sick from wearing the same clothing all the time? Not to mention, smelly. God darn it, Kaegen, why do something that horrible to yourself? I lived without washing my clothing for about a month, and it was dreadful."

Kaegen’s face was normally about as white as chalk, with some sickly shades of grey thrown in, but when he saw Eris point her wand at his scarf the white seemed to fade from his face leaving a ashy grey the color of dead things and smoke. His mind’s rationality went on lockdown, pupils rocketing out towards the edges of his eyes, but slowing down and stopping before they reached the very edges, leaving him with mostly black eyes, inky pits that seemed to defy the theory that the eyes were the window to the soul. They were shiny like a polished gem, fake eyes set in a corpse’s head.

His hand twitched violently towards where he knew his slingshot was kept, safe in his sleeve, leaping backwards as he did so. But as he stared at Eris with wide eyed horror, hand clasped around the handle of his weapon, he stopped. No harm had befallen his scarf, and what was more, he had been very close to pulling his slingshot on his friend. His best and only friend, the friend that was under his protection, the one that drew her name’s authority from his own.

He landed unceremoniously on his butt, head whipping back and hitting the ground, avoiding a sharp stone by a comfortable foot. His legs shot up in the air as he fell backwards, which gave him an apparent opportunity to save his dignity and regain his footing. Rolling with the momentum the young ravenclaw attempted a backwards somersault, but failed at this endeavor as well, teetering to the side mid somersault and landing on the sharp rock he had comfortably avoided mere moments ago.

The inky blackness that had threatened to take over his eye like an overactive virus receded, a lot slower than it had appeared. He stood up without haste, careful to not fall down for a third time. Kaegen looked at eris with a bit of bewilderment, as if trying to decipher what had just happened, and how he had gotten a bruise on his hip. His head had missed the rock, but it hurt as well, leaving the boy feeling more than a little traumatized.

Her repeated question begged to be answered and not to be answered at the same time. His unceremonious tumble had been proof that something was wrong, and the fact that he kept twitching meant that his body wasn’t okay. Honestly, he was probably dying. He had all the symptoms of death. Nervousness, twitching, pale skin and dark shadows under his eyes. Nothing healthy would have dark shadows under their eyes. But how could he tell Eris that?

He could try and tell her one of his other problems, the fact that he was going to be chewed up and spat out by a angry death witch probably qualified. Or bean. Bean was definitely a problem. If that boy ever caught Kaegen alone, there would be one less prefect in ravenclaw.

”Not sure I… Kill Bean.”

His body was trying to recover from the shock, and the fact that his scarf now reeked of something foul wasn’t helping that at all. But instead of panting or trying to catch his breath he just spoke less. And less of something that was pretty scarce to begin with equaled almost nothing.

And what was worse, his gums hurt. Only a little bit, but enough to be a bother. He had probably banged a tooth when he hit his head. He carefully poked a finger into his mouth and then took it out, inspecting for the blood he already knew was going to be there, it's coppery taste unmistakable. As much as logic convinced him it was probably a banged tooth, it had felt more like a splinter of wood was being shoved around inside of his gums.

Who knew, maybe his missing teeth were finally coming in, and this just jolted them.