30 Aug 2022, 18:23
You Broke Me First
๐ฎ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ท๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ฝ, ๐ค๐ข๐ค๐ค
๐น๐๐๐ ๐ฏ๐พ๐๐
๐ต๐๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐๐๐
#006400 English
#000080 French
#C71585 Latin
#000000 Parsel
#4B0082 Spanish
Great Lake
According to the book On Death and Dying that was published on 1969 by Elisabeth Kubler-R0ss & David Kessler, Elisabeth Kubler-R0ss developed the five stages of grief which is denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This is a journey or story in which Cash eventually accepted that Henry will never come back to Hogwarts again.
The first five day of the new school year went by in a blur. But even though it went by pretty fast, the new school year at least begin on a good note so far. On the second day of September; Cash, Monica Evans (fellow Slytherin Prefect), and some bunch of other students have their own initiation to welcome the new batch of Snakes in their Common Room.๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐
A little Fumos, thunder, and Serpentsortia had been cast all in all it went according to the plan. Yesterday Cash and a bunch of others gathered in this very location and played Spin the Bottle. To say the least, it was... eventful. But now after all the euphoria had dwindled down and reality set in, Cash is back to their routine.
Jog around the campus after they had been let out, go to classes, work on their homework, and socialized now and then. It when so fast that Cash did not have time to think and process that there might be a possibility that one of their best mate (Henry) will never come back to Hogwarts ever again.
As the evening rolled in and Cash had caught up on some of their homework, the young Ironwoods then grabbed their beloved guitar and trekked down to Great Lake. Once they arrived at the scene, Cash walk a bit further until they found one of their favorite spot which is under the Oak Tree. Cash sits cross-legged on the green grass with their guitar on their lap.
They absent-mindedly play a song or two without actually singing out any song in particular until a sadness washed over them. At first, Cash thought they might just miss Henry on the first day of welcoming them back for the new school year. With the new role Cash shouldered, it is easy to be a bit overwhelmed as they adjust to the new role.
The next day, when Cash went to one of the classes that they shared with the blue-eyed boy, the green eyes did not see their beloved best mate's face. Cash keeps hoping it was some sort of a dream. The Cuban descent moves from their old dorm to their new dorm to be in one room with Henry. Then the next day was also still the same.
Once Cash realized that Henry somewhat not coming back to Hogwarts again, their darkness crept in. Cash is always somewhat a loner. They only had a handful of people that Cash had dubbed as their people. Meaning the people that Cash cared deeply about their well-being. They avoid crowded places. Sometimes Cash procrastinated their homework.
They keep thinking Henry will come back eventually and keep saying "I am fine" like a mantra to the people that asked about their wellbeing. Cash was not sure who they were trying to convince. Since Quidditch was not in season yet, Cash tried to keep their mind occupied by doing some homework or doing Prefect duty which at the time helped them to forget what actually went down.
The young Ironwoods kept replying inside their head if Henry show any sign that maybe there was something wrong with the dark-haired boy but Cash found none. And to be honest, Cash was at a loss of what they should feel or do at the moment. The Beater then stop their absent-minded plucking on their guitar string and draw a long breath.
Their inner storm rages in. Abandonment, anger, hurt, loss, sadness, and so many other feelings came crashing down at once. The fourth year then put aside their guitar on the green grass and stand up from where they are situated. They walked to the almost edge where the soil meets the water.
"YOU SAID YOU NEVER LEAVE ME!!"Cash screams to the void while wiping their angry tears. Their heart broke and Cash feel angry with themselves. Angry that they care too much about Henry. They are angry that they let Henry into their life. But most of all, they are angry for trusting Henry. Their father always said Don't let others get close to you too much. When they leave you, it will hurt like you never hurt before.
Cash now understood what their father meant but what was done is done. They just want Henry back. Ever since Henry was not coming back to Hogwarts again, they knew there was something inside of them missing and it hurt the young socialite like hell.
| sta โข 10 | eva โข 10 | str โข 10 FROM ASHES WE RISE wis โข 8 | arc โข 8 | acc โข 10 | PA | OS | PM Y3 THROUGHโ THEโ YEARS ability | PM Y5 | ability |
31 Aug 2022, 15:59
You Broke Me First
๐ฎ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ท๐๐
๐ฉ๐๐ฝ, ๐ค๐ข๐ค๐ค
#006400 English
#000080 French
#C71585 Latin
#000000 Parsel
#4B0082 Spanish
Corridor,
Duelling Club,
Great Hall, then
Severus Snape Dorm
Cash tried their best to moving on. Just because their world crumbling down, they do not have the luxury of just breaking down and crying. As soon as Charm classes had been dismissed, the green eyes were the first ones that walked out of the door. Ever since Henry was not coming back to Hogwarts ever again, the Beater was more cynical than ever.๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐
They are impatient and easily to get irritated nowadays. Usually, Henry was one of the people that calmed Cash down. Henry was Cash's anchor and he was also Cash's voice of reason. As the green eyes stepped into the long beloved corridor that filled with upper and younger classmen, Cash felt alone in a crowded room.
They felt suffocated and so without thinking of any place, in particular, Cash ran. They ran as fast as their feet could take them. They did not know where they were headed but when their eyes landed on the familiar room of Duelling Club, they felt about to faint. They braced one hand on a nearby wall and the other hand gripping the tightness that slowly filled them in.
Their breath was labored and their head was spun. Cash knew the sign all too well. The sign of impending panic attack that they knew so well. Duelling Club was where Delilah Stewart's Free For All duel took place. Cash also had a minor panic attack but Henry was there to bring them back to reality.
Duelling Club is also the place where Henry taught the Beater for the first and last time how to duel properly. Cash took a deep breath to ease the pain of the impending panic attack but it was futile. The young Ironwoods still can hear vividly the laughter that they shared with their best mate. They feel their eyes hot with unshed tears and there's a lump in their throat.
"Not now,"Cash said to themselves as they force to move on. "Get a grip, Ironwoods"They chided themselves. With one final look at the room Cash then left the place. They promised themselves that they never stepped foot inside the room again. The room only reminded them of what they used to have.
Cash then continued their trek towards the next location which is the Great Hall. Once they entered the room, some students were there either to catch up on their schoolwork or just having lunch while hanging out with their friends. Cash then took a seat on the very end of one of the house tables.
As they were about to take their schoolwork out of their satchel, a pair of laughter resonated in their ears. From where they were situated, Cash could see the boy was the grumpy one and the girl was the all-positive-minded type of person. The pair of unknown students yet again reminded them of Cash and Henry's dynamics.
Then the same burning feeling in their eyes and the lump they felt a few moments ago came back and assaulted them. The fourth year hurriedly pack their bag and just like previously, they ran. This time they know where they wanted to head. They hurriedly ran towards where their house was located.
Cash did not care if they bumped some people's shoulders along the way. Once Cash arrived at the safety of their own house, Cash walked into their dorm. They opened the door and then slammed it shut. "I hated my life,"They talked to the empty room. It had been a hell of a week. Cash had been putting on a brave face to cover it up.
Then like a dam that could not hold a large amount of water anymore, Cash broke down. The young socialite started to feel all the feelings that they pushed deep down within them. They also started to throw things left and right. They feel all the rage and are out of control. Cash detested feeling out of control.
"WHY?!,"Cash throws a rather thick book to the wall. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME TO CRASH AND BURN!!"They scream while throwing one of the gifts that Henry sent as Cash's birthday present. The dagger collided with the wall and clattered against the floor. Not satisfied with the mess they made Cash then started to punch the nearby wall.
Their knuckles feel numb and in pain but Cash did not know if they broke their bones or not. Aero who was curled up on Cash's bed awake by the banging sound. He looked at his master like the Beater started to lose their sanity. "You said you never leave me,"Cash expressed softly this time as their anger slowly left out from their body and system.
They slide down until they were seated on the oval carpet that had a music note on it. "Am I that replaceable, H?"Cash leaned back as their head rested on the side of their bed and stared at the ceiling. Cash let out a sigh of defeat. Their tears streaming down hard on their face and the Beater did not have much energy to wipe them away.
Why did all the people I cared about leave me? Am I cursed and unloveable? Cash thought to themselves. Cash then took a deep breath. Sadness still blanketed them over like a warm friend. "I do not want to hate you, Knight"The Cuban descent still continues their monolog. Cash really does not want to resent Henry but they do not have any other choice.
"I hope wherever you are right now, you are happy even though I am miserable without you here,"Cash tries to hold in their sob but eventually they lost the battle. The young Ironwoods then let out all their anguish, broken heart, and all their heavy feeling since they found out Henry was not coming back ever again.
They let out a broken sob. Cash never thought losing a friend and a beautiful friendship could turn them into a sobbing mess. The lost that they feel shatter their heart into a million pieces.
| sta โข 10 | eva โข 10 | str โข 10 FROM ASHES WE RISE wis โข 8 | arc โข 8 | acc โข 10 | PA | OS | PM Y3 THROUGHโ THEโ YEARS ability | PM Y5 | ability |