Closed The Comedy Club Camp S-M '22 PV by Invitation

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The team assembled after a light breakfast, falling into formation at 7 am in a dirt patch to the southwest of the estate. A mysterious array of barrels, trunks, and buckets lined the treeline where a path disappeared into the woods.

“Good morning and welcome to the Comedy Club where you will be our entertainment. That’s right, you. Our lesson today is the power of humor.” Bending forward with his hands on his hips, Valentin’s lips pouted in a duck face as he inspected each player’s face. “Laughter. It strengthens the immune system, increases alertness, lowers blood pressure, and causes the body to release natural pain-killers: mild opiates called endorphins. People chronically in pain can use humor as a coping mechanism. Today you, too, shall be in pain. You will endure humiliation. Yet, you will laugh and learn that it’s alright to fail, so long as you rise again somehow better.”

Valentin twirled a black riding crop around his knuckles with a cheerful smile, his eyes beaming with genuine love for each team mate even when he was about to subject them to dastardly torture.

“Today you shall face three trials. First, the trial of gravity, then of vertigo, and at last, of wind. You may think all three are your constant adversaries in quidditch, but after today you will know how to make them your friends.”

Valentin walked in close along the front of the line-up and spoke softly. “Consider. How do you make friends with someone? Do you yell at them? Do you tell them you hate them? Do you scream how they have made a fool of you and that you never want to see them again? Well, we are Durmstrang, after all… But no, even so, that almost always creates enemies. To make friends, one learns what the other person needs, and how to adapt to the way the other naturally is. Trying to change another person is as vain as trying to freeze the sea over at your whim. Instead, by learning the ways of the other and how to accommodate, you shall become friends with gravity, vertigo, and the wind.” Spinning the crop high in the air and catching it with grace, Valentin grinned devilishly at his players.

“You will take what tortures you so and make it your toy, just as it toys with you. When you are embarrassed, laugh at yourself, laugh at the pain, and forgive yourself, forgive the moment, because you KNOW that you will only use this to make yourself stronger. Practice this now!” shouted Valentin, beckoning his arm to the path into the forest. “To be fed today you must complete this obstacle course and bring me back one flower from the basket at the end. You may not take, or in any other way obtain, more than your own single flower.” Val then pointed at the array of containers at the trailhead.

“If you fail any part of the course, you will have to start all over again. To fall is not to fail, however. To fall without laughing, at yourself or at the course or at me or at the cruelty of it all… only failing to laugh when you don’t succeed will set you back to the beginning of the course. When you return here, to the beginning, you will then have to take something from these receptacles here and make it clear to everyone how truly silly you really are. Look here, for example-- this barrel has some sticky sap,” indicated Valentin, slathering half of his face with viscous pitch. “And this!” said Val, gathering a handful of feathers from a bucket and slapping them onto his sticky face. “Don’t be chicken!” he squawked. “Come, now-- your first obstacle awaits, the Wall of Gravity.”


Valentin led the team on to a series of monkey bars that grew ever higher until one final bar abutted a nauseatingly high platform amongst the treetops where it lead to the next area-- a long ramp leading off between the tree canopies. To cross to the next area, one either had to do pull-ups and jump from bar to bar, or else swing with great force to grab onto ever steeper ascents up the monkey bars.

The captain would wait at the bottom and watch to ensure that every player laughed, out loud, every time they failed at the maddeningly tricky setup of bars. It was not an impossible task-- merely difficult, and likely impossible to get right the first few times around even for the strongest. If anyone failed to laugh upon falling, they would have their choice of silly objects at the trailhead to make a fool of themselves in front of everyone else. The team was asked to not proceed past the canopy platform until everyone had ascended, enabling the successful to observe and even interact with those who were slower than themselves.

Once everyone had completed Stage 1 and ascended into the tree-canopy platform, Val would lead them across a rope-and-plank bridge towards a maze of narrow slats of wood. Far below, a springy net would catch the players when they fell, allowing them to return to the beginning of the course if they failed to laugh, or to scale a tree-side ladder to return to Stage 2 if they’d maintained their sense of humor in the face of inevitable frustration.


“Here you will confront your feeling of vertigo, laughing in the face of your fear, going forward no matter how high up you are.” This maze of extremely narrow balancing beams included a variety of rounded, flat, and slickly varnished wood in awkward arrangements. The end of the tree-top maze was visible in the distance where a sign indicated a ladder down to the third stage. “It can be difficult to balance motivation and despair. Your sense of humor is your balancing pole, keeping you stable and centered. Throwing away that tool only makes it harder on yourself.” Valentin would stay topside, in the canopy watching people figure out how to reach the exit of the wooden pole maze. Anyone who fell would be observed by Sergei and his assistants, who would ensure people either returned to the beginning or found their way back up, depending on their behavior. Like in Stage 2, people could not move on to Stage 3 until everyone had made it. People who completed the course would get to enjoy watching those who were slower.

When everyone had reached the end of the balancing plank maze, Val would lead the team down the ladder and along the forest path until arriving at the entrance of a damp cave.


“This partly-phosphorescent cave… it’s not only full of water at the bottom and rimmed with narrow rocky gangways above, but it is named the Cave of the Hundred Winds for a reason. As you try to find your way in the dark to the other side, bursts of wind will be forcing you back. In order to make it across several divides, you will have to sprint while the wind is gusting and jump across empty space. This is not easy, of course, and you will fail many, many times. However, my assistants will find you when you fall into the pools below and return you to your proper place. Are you tired? Still can’t forget to laugh. The wind will be mocking you the entire time, so laugh with it. When you reach the end, find your flower and bring it to me. Remember, you can only take one.”

No matter how exhausted the team may have been, their final obstacle of the day would not go easy on them. The blustering cave was simply uncrossable without running full-speed while timing the onset of winds and still landing accurately on its hanging ledges.

At the end of the long, tortuous cave, a small ballroom loaded with crystals spires and dogtooth spar sparkled with intense sky-blue light.


A humble woven basket sat in the center of the light at the far end, containing one white hellebore flower per player. When all the flowers had individually been delivered to the captain, dinner would be served.