And I did solo finished

DISCLAIMER| This solo contains depression, intrusive thoughts, and talk of human and animal death. If these things trigger you I warn you to proceed with caution or not at all.

“You can run, but I will catch you eventually…” Santario murmured under her breath as the rat scurried outside the castle at an opportune moment when cold students were coming in to warm up from the bitter January winds. She watched them from beneath the brim of her hood as they blew on their fingers, attempting to chase away the chill that crept through their mittens. They passed each other quickly, yet their smell made her mouth water.

Her tongue traced over her lips as she slipped through the doors, following the grey mass trying to run away in the snow. It had stood a chance in the hallways, but here out in the open with no hidey holes to crawl through and the snow to slow it down. It was doomed, and she planned on savoring its fear. Santario casually slid her hands into the front pouch of her hoodie, letting them get far away from the castle, avoiding plausible witnesses. The soft crumble of snow beneath her feet was somehow soothing. The sound of her breath coming out as white puffs centered her. Time seemed to slow.

It was time, she was far too hungry not to eat the rat, and she had eaten them raw enough that it hardly bothered her now. Her hands slid from their warm home as she planted her feet hard into the ground, using them to propel herself forward. Fingers wrapped tightly around the little ball of fur, which had begun to squeak in terror while it tried desperately to bite her fingers. Her knees landed hard in the snow as she sat back on her heels, half hunched over the rodent. Unfiled nails, more starting to resemble claws, dug into the rat, making sure that it could not escape her grasp. Her mouth opened, hot saliva slipping from her teeth as she raised the rat to her mouth.

Santario snapped to attention as the sound of rustling papers filled the air, getting closer, too close. Her eyes darted around, looking frantically for the unlucky person who had followed her too close to the forest's edge. There was no one, only a lone daily prophet being dragged across the snow, half soggy and already starting to fall apart. Just as she was going back to her meal, she saw the face of Vladimir Athanatos, and she dropped the rat. The headline by his face made her heart drop into her stomach.


Santario made a mad scramble for the paper as her chest tightened. Drawing breath was starting to become a challenge as her hands grasped the paper shredding through the wet parts, but thankfully, or perhaps not, the article on Vladimir remained intact. It became hard to swallow as her throat followed behind her chest while tears welled up in her eyes. “No… Please no.” She pleaded with the crisp arctic void reading over the article. “I looked for you. You were gone. I needed you… I need you. No… I-… Bridget would have died. No, Vladimir, I need you! Please.” Hot tears streamed rivers that ran down her neck. He had been gone. She had looked. She had called to him in her mind over and over and over. And just like now, she was left feeling empty. There was no pressure; there was no knocking in her mind. She was just empty.

Staring down at his face as teardrops started to spatter onto the page. “You did not deserve this… I wanted to help you. Vladimir… I, I… I could have loved you. You saw me. I liked that you saw me. I wish I had told you. Instead… Instead, I failed you… Just like I fail everyone.” A sob escaped her lips as she curled down, holding the paper to her chest. Heart-wrenching sobs echoed across the plains as she wept for him. It almost sounded like a banshee wailing in the distance, only there wasn’t anyone to warn about death because he had already died.

Santario let herself fall into the snow, broken, pleading between sobs to let this somehow be a cruel joke. The empty feeling inside of her told her it was not. He was not there anymore and had not been for a long time. She had convinced herself that he had just been hiding from her because she ran past him at the ball… Stupid, foolish girl. She had wanted to be there with him; she had said yes for a reason. It wasn’t just about information anymore… and now it was too late. Everyone she cared about was gone.

She lay there in the snow long after the tears stopped staring at his photo for what she knew was hours because the sun was starting to set. “I hope you are at peace now… I hope you can finally be happy. You deserved so much better than you got. You deserved better than me, better than what I gave you. I am sorry that I failed you too… I hope you can forgive me.” Santario pressed her lips to his photo before curling back into a ball, holding the paper tight.

As the sky started to darken, soft snow began to fall. The slug inside her moved discontent in missing the meal it wanted.