Closed Lost and Alone PV Akira Shimizu

Roleplaying as Akira Shimizu from Mahoutokoro
Outfit: Navy Uniform

The Mahoutokoro cabins were a bit more noisy and rowdy than he would've liked. There was Aryaan Shamsi usually making a fool of himself. There was Chikao Narumi who he would've liked to ignore. There was the general excitement about the upcoming ball, as students either chattered excitedly about what they were going to wear, who they had asked to be their date, or who they had met from other schools.

Trying to clear his mind from the ruckus made by his schoolmates, Akira grabbed his cloak and headed outdoors. There was still much to explore on campus, even though he had come to Hogwarts last fall. One place he found that he did like best, however, was the Great Lake. He had done some peaceful reading there, gazing into the shimmering waters and listening to the gently lapping waves.

This time, instead of reading close to the lake, he decided to hike up one of the smaller hills near the lake. Perhaps he could get a better view from a higher vantage point, and gaze off into distant mountains as well as the Great Lake below. Finally, some peace and quiet. Partway up the hill, Akira paused, letting the cool wind billow across his cheeks, taking in the fresh air, before he continued his steady ascent.

However, as he reached the top, it seemed that someone else was already there. The signature pink hair immediately gave away the boy's identity as Hiro Bakugo. No one else in their right minds had the audacity to dye their hair anything other than the standard, acceptable, more discreet colors for this trip. Akira paused, wondering what he should do. His first instinct was to turn back. Perhaps he could find another hill that he could claim as his own, and read in peace. But something ignited his curiosity. Bakugo-san seemed to wear a look of dejection, his usual smile and cheer gone from his expression. Something must be wrong. Dreadfully wrong.

For once, Akira did not obey his mind, which screamed for him to turn back and evacuate the premises. Whatever was wrong with Bakugo was not his problem, after all. Should he really waste his time? Slowly, however, he made his way towards the boy.

"Bakugo-san," he said, simply loud enough to be heard, and hopefully not forceful enough to startle the boy whose raw emotions had now been seen by Akira Shimizu, one who also didn't like to reveal his thoughts others. "Is something the matter?" he asked, as if merely out of curiosity than concern for his classmate. As if Bakugo had merely broken an item of minimal value, and Akira was a bystander willing to tell him where he could find a shop to get it fixed.

The wind rustled his hair as Hiro sat there.

It was still early, which meant he didn't have to go back down for classes.

Once he'd sat up here for awhile, he'd go back down again. He'd be his normal, cheerful and bubbly self to others. No one would ever know what he'd done, if he did end up doing the one thing he would never let anyone else see. Hiro closed his eyes and simply let the gentle breeze wrap him in its embrace. It was because of his current state of mind and letting himself go in such a manner that he didn't realize someone had come. Hiro was just enjoying the freedom.

Despite having his eyes closed, the expression on his face remained.

It was hard to forget about something that consumed your entire life, he'd never forgotten it.

That was when a familiar voice was heard nearby. At first Hiro thought he was dreaming but then the voice said something again, asking if there was anything wrong and Hiro opened his eyes. He turned his head to look over in the direction the voice was coming from and saw Akira standing there. Hiro's eyes widened and his lips parted. What was he doing there? "Shimizu-san!" Hiro exclaimed, without thinking, still caught up in thoughts of his father.

Where the man drummed into him the importance of always addressing him, his wife and everyone else by respectful terms at all times. This was the main reason why Hiro disliked calling people by their last names, despite it being the respectful way to treat others, it was all because of his father. It was only after the words left his lips that Hiro's cheeks flushed with embarrassment and he shook his head, regretting having let down his guard a bit. "Akira."

"What are you doing up here so early in the morning?"

He asked, forcing a smile onto his face. Akira didn't usually come to see him.

Then again, he probably hadn't thought he was up here, right? A breeze blew across the letter on his lap but Hiro was too focused on Akira to notice.

Roleplaying as Akira Shimizu from Mahoutokoro
Outfit: Navy Uniform

The expression on Bakugo-san's face. Even while Bakugo's eyes were closed, as if he were meditating or simply enjoying the morning breeze on the Scottish hillside, Akira could tell that something was wrong. It was a pained expression, as if the boy were desperately trying to hold in his emotions, or will them to simply go away. This was not what Akira had expected from Bakugo-san, who was often the ray of sunshine amongst his serious classmates -- the cheerful boy who seemingly did not have a care in the world, someone who enjoyed all the twists and turns that life threw in his way.

"Shimizu-san!" the boy responded with surprise, clearly not expecting anyone else to be atop the hill or catch him in this state. Akira couldn't help but furrow his brows in confusion. Never once had he heard Bakugo-san address any of his classmates -- even their senpais -- by their family names, nor with such formality. Only too late did Bakugo catch himself making that mistake, and he corrected himself with haste and embarrassment, as if forcing himself to slip back into his old ways. Something was seriously wrong with Bakugo-san today, and Akira was curious to find out what was on his mind...

...Which side of this boy was the true Hiro Bakugo? The smile on his face looked frozen and forced.

Deep in thought and edged with confusion, Akira neglected to answer Bakugo's conversational and polite question. Surely, Akira was not interested in discussing his morning walk now that he had a mystery in his hands. Something about this pink-haired boy did not make sense, and Akira struggled to connect the dots in his confusion. He thought that he was good at reading people and identifying their what they were like -- and Bakugo-san was undoubtedly one of those happy-go-lucky, careless ones in his eyes up till this very moment that seemed to wipe away what Akira thought he knew about the boy. Could he possibly have been wrong?

His eyes shifted to the letter on Bakugo's lap, ruffled by the breeze. In an instant, his eyes picked up the terse message within its contents, and he frowned, gazing into Bakugo's brown eyes. "Who is Akira Bakugo? Is that your father?" he asked, straightforward and to the point, leaving no avenue for Bakugo to weasel out of a vague question. If so, why was his father telling him not to come home? Did Bakugo do something horrendous that brought shame to the family name? Was he really such a disgrace that a father would seemingly want to disown him? Surely, for a child to receive such a letter, he had to have done something abominable.

"What did you do to warrant such a letter, Bakugo-san?" he asked, concerned, clearly thinking that the son must've done something to receive such treatment from his father. Akira's own father, strict as he was, would never write such a thing unless Akira brought reprehensible shame to the family name.

Akira seemed to ignore his question.

Hiro's feeble attempt to direct the conversation elsewhere had apparently failed for him.

It was then that Akira spoke the name of his father and Hiro froze, his lips tightening a little. He grabbed the paper, crumpled it up into a ball and stuffed it into his pocket.

Hiro wasn't sure whether to dignify this question with a response. Surely, Akira would have already come to the realization that Akira Bakugo was his father. He didn't need to confirm what the boy already suspected, did he? And then Akira had to drive the dagger in even deeper with his next question. What did you do to warrant such a letter, Bakugo-san? Even Akira thought it was something he'd done to make his father send him a nasty letter like that.

Maybe it was his fault, like his parents believed.

Hiro suddenly felt a bit of hysteria coming over him and he started to chuckle.

"...maybe being born a boy had something to do with it?" He told Akira, revealing something about his true self for the first time since coming to Mahoutokoro.

Yup, Hiro was cracking and he was going to probably lose it soon. That is, if things continued like this. God, he hated how his eyes were filling up with liquid again. Hiro got to his feet and then turned away from Akira, deciding to head over to the edge and - wait - he'd forgotten to bring his broom. Well, there went that idea of swinging his legs over his broom and flying away from this situation. A sigh escaped his lips as he paused, trying to figure a way out of it.

He didn't want to share his feelings with Akira.

The navy robed student was quite strict and had a no-nonsense kind of attitude about him.

As much as Hiro liked that about him, he didn't think Akira would understand him. After all, no one had ever understood him before, so why should he think Akira would do so?

Roleplaying as Akira Shimizu from Mahoutokoro
Outfit: Navy Uniform

He watched as Bakugo-san followed his gaze to the open-faced letter upon his lap. The boy immediately grabbed the letter and crumpled it into a ball with a fist, embarrassed by its contents and taking swift action to hide what had already been exposed. Indeed, Akira's suspicions had been correct -- there was more to Bakugo-san than the seemingly cheery boy let on. What was he hiding? Akira's curiosity only grew upon Bakugo's instinct to conceal.

At this point, his interest was merely investigative. Compassion didn't necessarily come easily for a boy like Akira, who grew up in a household of directives -- of 'must', 'should', and 'will'. Duty was first and foremost; it was his guiding principle and it made it easier for him to see the world through this lens. Through the lens of duty, it was easier to see the world as black and white -- there were no qualms as to how he should feel in any situation. So, it was behind the veil of logic and duty that he could allow himself to avoid complicated emotions.

"...maybe being born a boy had something to do with it?" was Bakugo-san's reply, and Akira found himself unable to understand. A slight frown knit his brows. Truth be told, he had expected something predictable along the lines of: 'I broke X rule, and received a month of detention', or 'I failed an exam' -- things that might make Akira's own father send such a disparaging letter to his son. However, it seemed that Bakugo-san's fault was in something that he couldn't even control? "What do you mean by that?" he asked, finding himself hoping to learn a bit more about Bakugo's background. "I know that some traditional families can be more gender-specific in their birth expectations," Akira added, thinking of the preference for boys to carry on the family name and inheritance, for example, but it seemed that for Bakugo it was the opposite? "Is your family like that?"

Akira realized at this point that his questions may have seemed harsh and pressing, and he had done nothing but ask questions since he first happened upon Bakugo-san on this hill. He paused and gazed at the morning sunshine upon the hilltops and greenery around them, then the reflections upon the lake. A part of him wished he could console his classmate in some way, but words of encouragement and consolation often failed him, as a person who rarely received them himself.

It was then that he glanced back at Bakugo-san, his expression possibly revealing some of that internal struggle. "I apologize." He took a deep breath as he stood next to the boy. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I know we aren't close and I'm simply a classmate of yours. I just found it difficult to understand, that's all." If Bakugo-san didn't feel inclined to reveal more, Akira resolved not to press the matter.

He'd turned away from Akira.

Only to realize he had nowhere to go. Of course, Akira expressed interest in his words.

Who wouldn't? Hiro debated on whether to answer him or not but then again if he was going to tell anyone Akira was the best choice. He didn't seem like the type who would spread rumors. Although Hiro and Akira didn't really know eachother that well, they were still both students of Mahoutokoro. And were on friendly terms with eachother, at least that was how Hiro saw it. On top of all that, it seemed Akira was truly interested in knowing Hiro's answer.

"Mm. They wanted to make certain 'connections' with an arranged marriage. But it all depended upon me being born as a girl. The one they'd promised me to, before I was born, was a boy and completely straight." Hiro finally told Akira, letting him in on his huge secret. He wasn't sure why he trusted him not to spread this around the school, or even to their mutual friends, but Hiro felt as if Akira wouldn't do that.

He didn't elaborate on this.

Hiro wasn't about to go all out and spill his entire heart out to Akira.

The pink haired boy didn't want to cry again about all this. Plus, he wasn't entirely sure how Akira would react to something like that taking place. But it was kind of obvious now what his relationship with his parents was. Maybe not to the extent it really was, no one would expect it was as bad as it was, but at least Akira would get a good idea as to Hiro's situation now. Regarding why his father didn't want him to come home for spring break. He fell silent again.

But then he looked back over at Akira again as the boy spoke to him, saying they weren't close and were just classmates. "Maybe we can change that." Hiro told him with a faint smile. He wouldn't mind getting closer to him. Akira wasn't the sort who tended to open up easily but Hiro was very determined and stubborn when it came to things. If he set his mind on something, he'd eventually get it one way or another. "Would you be willing to do so?"

He asked, with an arched brow.

Perhaps something good could come out of all this and Hiro could make a new friend.

Not those he said were 'friends' amongst all the people he'd 'met' at Mahoutokoro and elsewhere. Those weren't real for him. But a true friend. One he could count on.

Really, there were only two people he could come up with who fit that particular statement. Chikao and Aryaan. Hiro would love to add Akira to the mix too. All you really needed were three good friends in your life. A close-knit group who would do anything for eachother. That was who SNACBASH were. It was something Hiro had come up with by using all of their initials to form one word to represent them. The term was cool and he knew they all liked it.

Even if they never admitted it out loud to anyone.

Technically, he'd already considered Akira to be one of them, as Hiro had included his intials.

But although Chikao and Aryaan tended to act as friends to him, Akira had been more 'reserved' towards him. This needed to change! Especially if they were going to become closer. But that in turn meant Hiro needed to find out more about Akira too. "What about you? What's your family like?" He asked, curious to find out more about him. Even though he'd 'known' him for a long time now, Hiro didn't know him as well as the other two.

Chikao and Aryaan were more forthcoming when it came to talking about themselves.

Now it was time for Akira to do the same!

At least, that was what was going through Hiro's head at the time. Out of habit, he'd turned the conversation away from himself and focused on the person talking to him instead.

Roleplaying as Akira Shimizu from Mahoutokoro
Outfit: Navy Uniform

So, Bakugo-san's resentment from his father stemmed from the fact that he was born a boy, when his parents had expected a girl who could complete a family alliance. Indeed, many traditional families saw their children as a means to an end: heirs who could bring honor to the family name, secure alliances, bring prosperity, look after their parents. On this point, Akira could find himself empathizing with Bakugo-san a little -- Akira was merely expected to serve a different purpose for his family from Bakugo.

Although Bakugo didn't say any more, Akira felt that he could imagine what it was like to feel disappointment from one's parents, even though he he probably hadn't experienced it to Bakugo's degree. Shame, neglect, and loneliness were powerful weapons when used upon a child. Hence, the boy really didn't need to say more, even though Akira would not have judged him or told anyone else if he did.

"I'm sorry to hear that. It must be very hard for you," Akira responded slowly, as he processed this new information about his classmate and his own emotions. Perhaps this was why Bakugo felt such a great need to seek friendship amongst his peers, to make up for what he lacked from his family. "But please know that you're worth more than what one or two people think of you, no matter how important those people are in your life. I know it must be difficult to see things that way, since our parents are such big parts of our lives, but I'm sure there are people out there who can appreciate you more than they do, from what I'm hearing." Akira paused here, and wondered whether Bakugo-san might feel defensive about the advice he just gave. After all, he didn't know his classmate very well. Would he find it blasphemous that Akira would suggest he disregard his parents' opinions of him to some degree? Akira knew it wasn't his place to tell Bakugo how to think. In fact, Akira found himself a little shocked by his own words; would he have given himself the same advice, or was it hypocrisy? It was also difficult for Akira to dissociate any disappointment his parents might have about his grades or performance as heir to the Shimizu family business; he really didn't know if he could follow his own advice.

In response to Hiro's question about changing their relationship as classmates, Akira glanced at the pink-haired boy with mild surprise at his straightforwardness. "What do you mean, Bakugo-san?" he asked, wondering what Bakugo could possibly want out of a closer relationship with Akira. "I'm a very busy person. I don't really see what you have to gain from being friends with me. I have hardly enough time as it is for myself," he explained, thinking bitterly about his deteriorated friendship with Chikao Narumi. He did not want history to repeat itself, by opening himself to friendship that wasn't going to last. At this point, it was difficult for Akira to grasp the concept that friendship often gave more to a person than it took, and that Bakugo's offer might in fact be genuine and not self-serving.

When asked about his own family, Akira paused to think. "I'd say we're pretty normal," he began. "My father works in real estate development and management, and my mother takes care of my younger brother, younger sister and me." However, that wasn't everything there was to how he felt, was it? There was a lot of pressure in being the eldest sibling, in a traditional Japanese pureblooded family with a legacy that would be his inheritance. "My parents want me to work in my father's business when I graduate," he explained, not telling the whole truth behind the pressure of inheriting the family business of wizarding shopping centers in Kyoto and Osaka, or at risk of sounding snobbish. "So, I'm working hard right now to get good grades and learn what I need to learn." Quite the understatement for his goal of reaching gold robes during his tenure at Mahoutokoro.

Roleplaying as Akira Shimizu from Mahoutokoro
Outfit: Navy Uniform

"Like you?"

Akira furrowed his brows at Bakugo-san's question in a moment of brief confusion at his antics, before his features softened again and he smirked in amusement. Was Bakugo just testing him, now? His first instinct in his mind was 'no, not like me', but he found that he couldn't say those words out loud, for some reason.

Here was Bakugo, mentioning SNACBASH again. Akira decided against protesting being a part of this made-up group of so-called 'friends' for the dozenth time, since Bakugo was quite intent on what he was saying. Did Akira think too little of himself? Were there things that people could gain from being friends with him, even though Chikao Narumi probably thought otherwise? Why else would Narumi have abandoned him for the quidditch team and other activities? Doubt clouded his mind.

However, Bakugo's next words gave him pause, and somehow, those words seemed completely genuine. "You can be yourself around me and not have to worry about anything. I can take care of you instead." He listened as Bakugo continued, hearing words that he hadn't heard being spoken to him before. All his life, Akira was expected to take care of others: his brother, his sister, his grandparents, his parents in their old age, the family business when he came of age. Hardly anyone had ever said that that they would simply take care of him. He was a little at loss for words. "Well, thank you, Bakugo-san," he finally managed to say. "That means a lot to me. I hope we can become friends, then, and that I will not disappoint." And there, he said it. The words were as if they were a contract in his mind: friends. His very first one since Chikao Narumi.

Hiro nodded as Akira spoke about his own family, and seemed to understand the responsibility he faced. It seemed that he had found somewhat of a kindred spirit in Hiro Bakugo, who had family pressures of his own. "Do you want to inherit the family business?" the boy asked, and Akira considered it for a moment. "Well," he began, feeling that he hadn't quite been asked this question much before. It was rare for anyone to ask what he himself wanted, it was always expected that he do what he was told, and what the family wanted of him. "My first inclination is to say 'yes', but now I'm wondering if it's simply the answer that I've grown up with, and not my own answer." He remembered what he had said to Lizzy Solace in the fall: 'yes, because it is honorable and what is expected of me' or something along those lines. However, the more he thought about it, and the more he was asked these questions, the more he felt that there had to be something else beyond just this. "Inheriting the family business isn't my passion," he confessed. "I just... don't even know what else I would want yet, but it could very well be something else," he explained. Because, real estate management did not excite him. It seemed like a responsibility, a chore, very much unlike the passion that he had seen others feel when asked about their dreams. As for what he actually wanted to do... he didn't really know yet, nor had he had the opportunity to consider it, but he found himself wishing that he would.