Numb, he was supposed to be numb to all of this. But there had been people at hogwarts, people that he liked. He was home alone most of the time, unless grandfather was with him. Why was this so hard to deal with now? The though occurred to him that he hadn't known what he was missing out on before. Hadn't realized how good it was to have someone by your side, if only for a little while. What was waiting for him back in the Fens? Nothing was waiting for him. Grandfather had left, hadn't he? Why would he have stayed there if Kaegen's parents weren't coming back. A few tears slipped down his cheeks as he thought back to hogwarts. He had a friend, didn't he? Yes, he did. He had one friend. One friend that he played his first game with. He had raced her by the lake, watched as she fell down again and again. Now what did he have? He was alone in the compartment, a few people had looked in, about to enter but the sight greeting them was something to behold. He was sitting in the middle of the floor, wild yellow eyes filled with tears, staring out past the doors. He was pretty good at being numb, pretty good at ignoring his emotion. But not good enough.
The train started, jolting him, terrifying the boy. He was scared and alone, the urge to cry was becoming overwhelming but he kept it down, he had to be quiet, had to always be quiet. Noise meant death, noise meant being found. Being found by all the imaginary things that go bump in the night. The imaginary things that most kids were told weren't real lurked near his backyard. The things that went bump in the night went bump all day, and no matter how much he told himself they didn't matter, that he could hide forever it never completely worked. He was always scared no matter how stoic his face was. No matter how strong his slingshot was he always worried he would miss, he wouldn't pull back far enough. Or worse, it would break. It couldn't last forever, nothing could. The young ravenclaw's only dream was one born from bitter necessity. With a life that was a constant nightmare, a dream of escaping, of being able to survive it seemed nice. It seemed like a good dream, a dream that reached for the stars and beyond. But it was really just like dreaming for a rope to get out of a hole.
He put his face in his hands and eventually fell asleep. He hadn't started crying, hadn't made very much sound. Life for the boy hadn't been as bad as he was making it out to be, his grandfather had helped now and again, made sure he survived. But once in a while, life just seemed so much worse. It seems that way sometimes at midnight, when you are alone under the sheets, it seemed that way to the little boy crying himself to sleep on the floor of a empty compartment.

By the time he woke up, Kaegen was feeling just a little bit more numb about the situation. If eris was dead, then she would be dead. No one cared. He didn't care.
The young boy tried to convince himself and succeeded, at least for a while. Things died, there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing at all. They hadn't arrived at the station yet, but Kaegen had no idea how long they had been moving, having lost all sense of time after that nap. The train didn't scare him as much as it did before. Probably due to the fact that he had grown more accustomed to it. There was a boy in compartment with him now and Kaegen looked at him. In the second their eyes met the other boy quickly and quietly stood up and left without saying anything else. It would normally have seemed interesting to the boy from the fens but today he didn't even care. Today he just wanted to not know things, to find the bliss people said often accompanied ignorance.
What had he done so far, what had he done in hogwarts that he cared about? He learned a few spells which was fine. Spells were nice. He had made a new friend too, right?
Kaegen quickly corrected himself. Relabeling the small redhead as "human" in his head. Just another human, like every other human that ever entered hogwarts. If they died it wouldn't matter to him. Humans. Life was so fragile and so pathetic. As long as he survived, no one else mattered. As long as he lived to see another day.
The train pulled up to the station and he got off, heading not towards the fens, but instead towards the fields. He wasn't feeling up for dealing with grandfather. Aimlessly drifting for a bit would do him some good anyway.