2 Feb 2021, 06:03
A Dress He Will Never See
Aida ran through the open fields of the grounds, right past the old oak without stopping. Though stumbling and tripping over the hem of her long white dress, she would not stop until reaching the Forbidden Forest's edge. Though she had grown strong enough to run from Ravenclaw Tower all the way to the grounds' edge, such achievements were lost in the barrage of self-inflicted curses spinning through Aida's mind. It was the first time she had ever worn a dress, so despite clasping ample folds of it as she ran, free hems still coiled about Aida's ankles like snakes. Before long its pearly lining grew tattered and streaked with dirt and grass stains.
Aida had been eliminated from her second duel almost as quickly as her first, and what had Aida gained? Gasping for breath the girl emitted a ragged growl as she couldn't think of a single lesson learned, not a single realization other than that she was horrendously weak. How was she supposed to win any fight for Alexander like this?
All I would do is weigh him down, a hundred-ton liability, if I can't survive a minute of a single childish duel. This must be the reason my parents abandoned me. Not worth the resources, can't justify my existence, useless. This is why Alexander avoided me for all those months. How could I be so arrogant believing I can take care of anyone if I can't save even a single mosp. Aida pulled sharply at the pearls of her mother's necklace ringing her pale neck.
The Undead King gave me these powers because I made a deal with him. Well, I can't keep that deal. Not for a mosp, not for a horse, not for Alexander. I just can't succeed at anything. I can't give the White General anything either. Everyone loses. I deceived Alexander: I can't help him. I'll just die in two seconds in that confrontation... and maybe I will kill him with the distraction of it all. Yanking again at the heirloom pearls, Aida glared into the Forbidden Forest and shrieked.
"Take back your powers! You chose the wrong person! I didn't deserve them in the first place, me, the one who killed you! I'm just as bad as Sean. Take my place. At this rate I'll just end up killing Alexander by mistake, just like..." Aida trailed off as a cold February breeze cut through the thin cloth of her dress. She was not entirely sure she hadn't killed Alexander at the end of last spring. With magic suddenly plentiful in Aida's world, myriad realities had become possible. Shaking her head, Aida had to believe that what appeared to be Alexander wasn't some demon in disguise. She had to protect the feelings she'd gotten from those nights under the moon. It had hurt him when his parents presumed him dead. Aida couldn't hurt him that way again. She would believe in him now even if she were the only one who would. At least she hadn't given up on finding him, the way his parents had seemed to have moved on with their lives...
Alexander will move on when I'm gone, like he was trying to do before, and like his parents were trying to do. Like any normal rational human. Not like some obsessive emotional monster like me, a failed animal and an even bigger failure of a human.
I will have to do it quietly... find a way to fight for his lost pieces where I can afford to die without being noticed. Then he will not be distracted and he will survive, and then he'll be whole again. He can live happily again. He'll be able to eat normally, return from the thin shadow of a man he has become. I can't even get enough food for us. Even Valentin must be eating better than him. Valentin... Aida's lips parted as she drew in a cold breath of air. His parents... But no, she couldn't spare a thought for his suffering, nor for any plans of searching for their parents. Aida had to sacrifice everything to win this war against the memory thieves. Valentin would move on without her, just like the rest of the world would keep spinning. She had to give his broom back. Before Aida's day came, she'd have to give it back. He had made a mistake by giving it to her: he had gotten nothing in return. No, he'd never accept it returned by her hands. Scheherazade would have to take it to him. That made things easier.
In the distance, movement skirted about the edge of the dark trees: a deer that had one antler shorter and more curled up than the other. The asymmetry had always been jarring. This was the same deer that haunted the perimeter of the lake, but why was it here now? Aida had never seen it except at the lakeside. Walking over to where her handmade swing hung from a tree, Aida stared back at the deer.
"No wonder you're not more scared of me," said Aida with a sick grin. As Aida sat down the swing's plank let out a groan and the ropes creaked above. "Tell me how I can win," called Aida, beginning to rock forward and back, but the deer only disappeared into the treeline. Now she was alone. Aida rocked harder and faster on the swing, higher and higher up, half wishing she were on the broom again with Valentin... but was that what she really wanted? Grinning sardonically, Aida swung higher, kicking the ground hard to propel herself upward. It was sudden, as such things often are. Aida flew, sent away at the snap of a rope. The old plank thunked onto the ground one second before the girl followed.
Laughing into a mouth full of dirt and blood, what really hurt was Aida's left arm after having taken the brunt of the fall. Spitting debris, Aida looked up. She had flown right to the edge of the forest, though peering in she couldn't see anything but the usual dark tangle of branches. Just inches away, Aida wanted to be back in there, where Vladimir walked, alongside other monsters like her. If only her arm didn't hurt so much. From the corner of her eye Aida saw that something was wrong... her wrist wasn't sitting at the angle it used to. A hot wave of panic bit into Aida's stomach and she swallowed down a cry. She couldn't go there in this condition. She couldn't win like this, but still, she had to win. Blood rushing to her head as she stood up, Aida swooned. No longer knowing what she was supposed to win anymore, or for whom, all she knew right now was that it hurt and there could be nothing more until she was fixed.
Blood streaked down Aida's white dress and dripped onto blades of grass as she passed the broken swing without looking back.
Aida had been eliminated from her second duel almost as quickly as her first, and what had Aida gained? Gasping for breath the girl emitted a ragged growl as she couldn't think of a single lesson learned, not a single realization other than that she was horrendously weak. How was she supposed to win any fight for Alexander like this?
All I would do is weigh him down, a hundred-ton liability, if I can't survive a minute of a single childish duel. This must be the reason my parents abandoned me. Not worth the resources, can't justify my existence, useless. This is why Alexander avoided me for all those months. How could I be so arrogant believing I can take care of anyone if I can't save even a single mosp. Aida pulled sharply at the pearls of her mother's necklace ringing her pale neck.
The Undead King gave me these powers because I made a deal with him. Well, I can't keep that deal. Not for a mosp, not for a horse, not for Alexander. I just can't succeed at anything. I can't give the White General anything either. Everyone loses. I deceived Alexander: I can't help him. I'll just die in two seconds in that confrontation... and maybe I will kill him with the distraction of it all. Yanking again at the heirloom pearls, Aida glared into the Forbidden Forest and shrieked.
"Take back your powers! You chose the wrong person! I didn't deserve them in the first place, me, the one who killed you! I'm just as bad as Sean. Take my place. At this rate I'll just end up killing Alexander by mistake, just like..." Aida trailed off as a cold February breeze cut through the thin cloth of her dress. She was not entirely sure she hadn't killed Alexander at the end of last spring. With magic suddenly plentiful in Aida's world, myriad realities had become possible. Shaking her head, Aida had to believe that what appeared to be Alexander wasn't some demon in disguise. She had to protect the feelings she'd gotten from those nights under the moon. It had hurt him when his parents presumed him dead. Aida couldn't hurt him that way again. She would believe in him now even if she were the only one who would. At least she hadn't given up on finding him, the way his parents had seemed to have moved on with their lives...
Alexander will move on when I'm gone, like he was trying to do before, and like his parents were trying to do. Like any normal rational human. Not like some obsessive emotional monster like me, a failed animal and an even bigger failure of a human.
I will have to do it quietly... find a way to fight for his lost pieces where I can afford to die without being noticed. Then he will not be distracted and he will survive, and then he'll be whole again. He can live happily again. He'll be able to eat normally, return from the thin shadow of a man he has become. I can't even get enough food for us. Even Valentin must be eating better than him. Valentin... Aida's lips parted as she drew in a cold breath of air. His parents... But no, she couldn't spare a thought for his suffering, nor for any plans of searching for their parents. Aida had to sacrifice everything to win this war against the memory thieves. Valentin would move on without her, just like the rest of the world would keep spinning. She had to give his broom back. Before Aida's day came, she'd have to give it back. He had made a mistake by giving it to her: he had gotten nothing in return. No, he'd never accept it returned by her hands. Scheherazade would have to take it to him. That made things easier.
In the distance, movement skirted about the edge of the dark trees: a deer that had one antler shorter and more curled up than the other. The asymmetry had always been jarring. This was the same deer that haunted the perimeter of the lake, but why was it here now? Aida had never seen it except at the lakeside. Walking over to where her handmade swing hung from a tree, Aida stared back at the deer.
"No wonder you're not more scared of me," said Aida with a sick grin. As Aida sat down the swing's plank let out a groan and the ropes creaked above. "Tell me how I can win," called Aida, beginning to rock forward and back, but the deer only disappeared into the treeline. Now she was alone. Aida rocked harder and faster on the swing, higher and higher up, half wishing she were on the broom again with Valentin... but was that what she really wanted? Grinning sardonically, Aida swung higher, kicking the ground hard to propel herself upward. It was sudden, as such things often are. Aida flew, sent away at the snap of a rope. The old plank thunked onto the ground one second before the girl followed.
Laughing into a mouth full of dirt and blood, what really hurt was Aida's left arm after having taken the brunt of the fall. Spitting debris, Aida looked up. She had flown right to the edge of the forest, though peering in she couldn't see anything but the usual dark tangle of branches. Just inches away, Aida wanted to be back in there, where Vladimir walked, alongside other monsters like her. If only her arm didn't hurt so much. From the corner of her eye Aida saw that something was wrong... her wrist wasn't sitting at the angle it used to. A hot wave of panic bit into Aida's stomach and she swallowed down a cry. She couldn't go there in this condition. She couldn't win like this, but still, she had to win. Blood rushing to her head as she stood up, Aida swooned. No longer knowing what she was supposed to win anymore, or for whom, all she knew right now was that it hurt and there could be nothing more until she was fixed.
Blood streaked down Aida's white dress and dripped onto blades of grass as she passed the broken swing without looking back.
To be continued in the Hospital Wing... Thread left.