14 Jul 2020, 00:16
Imposter Syndrome: Witch Edition
@Elspeth Blaine
It was fair to say that this wasn't the kind of Summer holiday that Connie had been expecting. First came the letter. The letter. The one that told her, in no uncertain terms, that she was actually kinda magic. And that hey, you're coming to our fancy-pants Wizarding School next year instead of the Lake District Academy for Girls. And just wouldn't you know it, there's this summer camp you can come to, get to know some people and your new teach... professors before you start! Sounds perfect, right?
Well... about that.
The events had been fun. Seeing all those eager faces like herself, hearing about the exciting stories they all had and the build-up towards Quidditch. Watching Quidditch sounded a lot more exciting than watching football, even if Connie did miss match days with her family. She'd had high hopes she'd meet a bunch of new friends! That didn't last long.
She'd approach a couple of girls, all smiling and eager. "Hey! What's up, I'm Co..." she'd start to say, before they slipped away in whispers and giggles. "... Connie okay see ya bye..."
Another time, it was a few kids in jumpers and robes that looked similar to football tops. She'd tried it again, swallowing her nerves and putting on that bright, sparkling smile. "Hi. I love your robes, they look so cool. Which team are you supporting..." she'd start to ask, before she saw them staring at her. Like she was something they'd all just stood in. She could feel the blush creeping into her cheeks, sending them blazing, fiery red. She could almost see the wavy heat coming from her cheeks.
"... kay well, see you around..." she'd mutter and head off, trying to block the hisses and whispers from her ears. She didn't really want to hear what they were saying. Nothing good, obviously. All the while, that little voice in her brain saying the same thing, over and over.
"You'll never be like them. You're not from their world. Their place. You're nothing. You're an imposter, you don't belong here. One of the professors will be over in a second, to tell you that there's been a mix-up. Probably some haughty little witch girl looking very confused back home and you've stolen her place..."
She hated that voice. It could, in her opinion, do one.
After several attempts at trying to talk to people, Connie felt cold. Chilly from the inside, like the life'd been half-sucked outta her. Even staying in the camp, hearing everyone talking and laughing, all of them getting on so nicely... it was really getting to her. So she walked off. She hadn't been sure of her destination. Just somewhere that was away from them all. Maybe she'd be lucky and they'd all turn each other into frogs while her back was turned.
Stomping off, she'd left the tents behind and pushed through some trees, heading away from the camping grounds. Yeah, there were rules saying that she shouldn't head off like that but honestly, those were for people who belonged, obviously. She didn't care. That was how she ended up in front of a tree that was ugly-as-sin, half-broken and burnt from some ancient lightning strike. That was how Connie ended up throwing rocks at it, grunting at she flung them towards the old wood, with a face like a smacked ar... smacked bottom. Holding onto her anger, because otherwise she might cry.
15 Jul 2020, 01:35
Imposter Syndrome: Witch Edition
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Magic didn't solve problems. That much Elspeth was sure of. In fact, magic only seemed to create more problems often, especially when her magical brethren didn't know the simple magical solutions. She felt lucky to have found a small troop of friends with whom she was able to share her time and her experiences without the burden of exclusion. In fact, it was this group with whom she was able to share the summer. Still, there were moments when her muggle heritage proved itself to be useful.
Inside the tent, when the wind kicked up, it blew her books and notes around her bedroom area. She'd been getting tired of having to replace things on the night stand time and time again. The rising third years in her tent, Gris and Alan, probably could easily whip out a spell to fix this, but Elspeth instead decided to go about thing the muggle way and seek out a natural paperweight.
Stepping out of the tent, she was dressed simply as usual. It was muggle clothing: black tights, a rust colored skirt, and a black cotton short sleeve top. Of her shoulder was a lightweight un-dyed tote bag, where she intended to put the good paperweights. Wrapped around her neck was an emerald green summer scarf, she walked along the wood, passing students who were much less circumspect than herself. Being in this isolated place, it wasn't necessary to hide wizards wears. But to be quite frank, outside of her uniform, Elspeth didn't have any wizard wears. She walked around perfectly as she had always done--as a muggle.
Beyond this, she didn't try to be sporty or athletic to blend in with their current circumstances here near the London Quidditch Stadium. She could watch the match certainly and perhaps one day she might even try her hand at the game, but she wasn't outdoorsy like this and she didn't try to be. She was, as her teachers had instilled in her, a citizen of Edinburgh, the capital and a city of culture. That meant carrying oneself proudly and with elegance. In fact, it was on this carriage that she often relied, never wanting people to see the hurt girl with a parent already deep in the ground.
Following the woods, she sauntered passed groups of students, none of whom seemed particularly interesting or interested in her for that matter. Nobody really seemed interested in Elspeth generally, save her friend group, and that suited her introverted self just fine. It gave her time to put her head in her Charms book and try to find her place, if there was one, in the magical world.
Stepping on some twigs, it was getting darker as she moved away from most of the crowd. "Lumos," she said, illuminating her wand dimly as she walked. The big rocks tended to hide amongst gravel like this and she wanted to collect a couple good ones that would be prime paperweights so she wouldn't have to do this again nor worry about anymore fluttering paper.
As she walked, she was paying more attention to the ground than anything else. So, she didn't notice a horribly damaged tree nearby, but she did notice the sound the rocks made as they struck against it. Raising her head and wand together, she could make out a figure: a girl. From where she stood, she couldn't discern anything very much about her, except that she was throwing rocks--potentially large rocks from the sound they made. "Excuse me," she made an approach, "But have you found any good rocks? I need some, preferably kind of flat and on the larger side." It probably seemed like an extraordinarily bizarre request, but Elspeth was focused.
She was going to solve this the muggle way. And if she could meet a friendly face along the way, all the better.
For @Connie Dawson
Stamina: 7 | Evasion: 7 | Strength: 5 | Wisdom: 7 | Arcane Power: 5 | Accuracy: 9
Evasive Maneuvers | Perfectionist
Evasive Maneuvers | Perfectionist