A Big, Birdy Blunder Solo Finished

A companion to An Avian Anomaly by @Selim Faust

What started out as a peaceful breakfast at the Great Hall for a quiet, brooding Slytherin teen turns into a feathery mess.

Dmitri didn't know how it happened.

He was just there, minding his own business. A modest breakfast of toast, eggs, and some freshly-squeezed orange juice occupied him as he waited idly by for an owl from the newsletter he has been subscribed to for close to a few years now, THYME Magazine. It was a monthly compendium of everything potions-related: from obscure potions ingredients to the most modern apothecarial inventions, THYME had everything an aspiring potioneer needs. As they say, to become a Potions Master, one only needs to "just give it some THYME".

And Dmitri believed that with all his heart.

So he was quite disappointed when one of the articles on their March 2020 release had a typographical error. Dmitri was pressed. A publication so respectable and, dare he say, commendable in every way, would stoop so low as to misspell a word in their issue--he could not believe it! Naturally, the boy just had to air out his frustrations to their British Headquarters in a rather passive-aggressive-bordering-heated owl.

Needless to say, Dmitri couldn't wait for a response from the publication--and he expected a major apology from them. How dare they ruin such a good magazine for him! The Slytherin doesn't know if he can stomach another issue if these errors kept happening! And what a waste!

Shaking his head, the boy consumed his hearty breakfast and started to stand up to get going to class. However, a loud cacophony from overhead would stop him in his tracks. He watched as a flock of birds swooped in from outside on the Great Hall's great windows, carrying packages and letters from all over the wizarding world. A joyful noise escaped him as he saw a familiar owl: Dmitri was finally getting his response!

He shouldn't have celebrated too early, though. Because not even a second after the flock of birds fully entered the premises, a certain dumbass of a student decided to hex an owl for being particularly rude--which, naturally, being a fricking plank of a person he was, backfired--sent the owls into a flurry of feathers and chaos as an explosion reverberated up above.

Dmitri watched, horrified, as the publication's distinct owl (it had purple streaks on its wing feathers), collided with another one in midair, resulting in a small explosion of fluff and letters. Gunning his feet forwards to the best of his abilities, the boy managed to catch his letter as it dropped from above.

Phew. He thought to himself. Relieved, Dmitri broke off a piece of toast and handed it to the flustered THYME owl, petting its head feathers in the process. He would have been content enough to stroke the bird for a few more minutes if the clock didn't strike on the hour, signaling that he only had a meager amount of time to book it before he was totally late to his first class of the day. Gathering his things from his seat, Dmitri strode through the still floating cloud of feathers towards his lessons, oblivious of the fact that the letter he was holding wasn't his.

The letter that was supposed to be addressed to him was taken by a peculiar boy with Asian features. If opened, the correspondence would have read:

THYME Magazine
"Mastering potions is a breeze, just give it some thyme"

DEAR READER:

Good day!

We have received your letter of complaint on our previous March release about the article: "Potions and the Space-thyme Continuum: Concoctions for Quantum Explorations", and have confirmed that the author has indeed misspelled the word "and". We apologize for the inconvenience and have promptly terminated our contract with our current proofreader for the infraction as a gesture of our sincerest apologies. We have also initiated a mass reacquisition of our released March issue--all 525,600 copies of it--for good measure.

THYME appreciates your continued readership and loyalty to our publications and we strive to meet our every reader's satisfaction--we dearly hope we have yours!

Take care always. 'Til next thyme!


Zinnaman P. Auder
Editor-in-Chief, THYME Magazine