Bad Advice

Just put a couple of dollars in the next homework assignment you hand in!

My finals are coming up, what should I do?

Throw away all of your notes. Just throw them all away. Everything you need to know should already be stored in your brain.

I need to get this essay done, but how?!

Just write random words, the teacher won’t notice, or you can just say you forgot every single day.

I am always tired, what should I do?

Keep making up ways to stay awake/keep pulling all-nighters.

I have no friends, what should I do?

You should ignore everyone and roll your eyes at all comments from people. Also, if ever talked to by a person, you should give snarky rude responses back.

I don't know anything for the upcoming test, what should I do?

It really doesn’t matter. Having fun is always better than schoolwork. So just party, have fun, stay up all night, eat junk food and never even think about the test.

I am terrified of snakes, what should I do?

Go somewhere where there are tons of poisonous snakes, maybe you'll overcome it

I sprained my wrist, what should I do?

Sprain the other one. If they're both sprained you won't notice they are in the first place!

I lost my hamster, what should I do?

Write a mystery novel about the missing hamster, become famous and move to the Mediterranean. After seeing your success, you hamster will probably come crawling back out of spite and jealousy.

I'm lost, what should I do?

You should obviously head in any direction, because if the Earth is round then you are bound to end up back where you need to be!

My microwave is beeping and will not stop. What do I do?