Easy. Buy a lot of socks and pull them in everyone's mouths, like how I do when I kidnap people <->

I missed my friends but I'm really busy these days so I can't visit them.

Get yourself even busier. You will then realise that they don't matter anymore.

I don't get enough sleep.

Hurt your eyes, make them blind so that you don't need to sleep anymore.

I want to fly to the moon.

Okay, you do? Build one of those cardboard rockets. It'll help you.

I lack confidence.

Then lack everything else, you can't complain about it anymore when everything is the same right?

I'm thinking of painting my nails but I'm not good with it.

Do it, but with acrylic paint. See what happens.

I forgot how to let my heart beat.

Giving it a little electric shock should jolt your memory. I suggest using an AED. 

My back really hurts and it isn't popping the way I need it to. 

Hit it. Go on. It won't kill you!

I keep tripping.

Just don't ever get back up! Then you won't trip anymore!

My cat keeps scratching my carpet.

Scratch your cat back, see how he likes it

I'm allergic to peanut butter but I'm craving it right now