You must put alcohol and then vinegar on your arms. And then you can put some bacon grilled along your painful arms. It will be much better after.


The sound of my guitar is very ugly. How can I make it more beautiful?

Cut the strings off. The sound of silence is golden.

I have exams tomorrow but I am not prepared at all. How should I catch up?

Absorb the knowledge through your brain by smacking your head against your textbook, or whichever device you use to study. That way, the knowledge flows naturally through you with each hit. As the saying goes, no pain- no gain.

How do I cure my stage fright?

Come up with a ridiculous act and preform it in front of hundreds of people. Once in front of them, it will all go away.

I don't understand my homework, what should I do?

Destroy the homework and blame it on the dog.

I'm skydiving for the first time, anyone got any tips for when i'm up there?

Steal everyone else’s parachutes. Use it for yourself, so you spend extra time looking at the view as your friends and family splat to the ground!

I don’t like one of my teachers. What do I do?

Turn the top of the fridge into a shoe!

I can't seem to stay awake..

Take an even amount of sleeping pills! Taking two sleeping pills counteracts the first one’s effect and makes you stay wide awake!

It’s to hot in my room at night, but when I open the window my neighbors are always yelling during the night! (this is true and I really do not know why this happens to me T^T)

Yell at them!
Since it’s a real problem maybe you could go to their house and ask to stop, the embarrassment stops them. Or you could ask your parents to get you a fan so that you don’t have to open your windows.

I can’t sleep because my neighbors dog barks at night!