Do it ten more times.

I accidentally at my shoes.

staple it back on.

No one is responding to my rps!

Burn the ashes. it will magically rebuild your house!

They're not responding to my owls of blackmail!

Tell him you ate them and you're about to perish.

I swallowed three thousand pieces of gum.

Use mind control to make him forget that he exists and take your ashes.

My tongue fell off.

Ask God to banish him to Hell.

My sister put makeup on my face and I have a soccer game.

Ask Satan to punish you.

Satan is a demon and he talks to God.

He's lying, force him to do it.

I'm going to sleep, goodnight.

Get a friend to suck you into the vacuum cleaner.

I have to study for a test but I'm too much of a procrastinator.

Cool! Me too. Just keep on procrastinating. Once the test comes, just write '100%' on the paper! You're sure to pass.

My foot has become self-aware and is attempting to sabotage me?! HELP!!!!