Bad Advice

Turn the pillow on the couch 0.87 degrees to the left and see how long you can stand to look at it.

I've discovered a gaping hole in my backyard, and there are noises coming from it. Should I call the authorities?

Nah just cover it with a tarp and pretend it’s not there, eventually it’ll solve itself.

I always sleep in what should I do?

Just don't sleep.

I can't stay awake. In always tired and fall asleep in the day. What do I do?

Take sleeping pills that'll solve your problems

I'm addicted to chocolate and I want to stop my addiction any idea to stop that addiction

Eat every source of chocolate in the world so that there'll be no more chocolate for you to be addicted to.

I have a crush on someone, but he has a crush on someone else. What should I do?

Tell his crush that you love him then the one you're actually in love with will get jelouse and fall for you

I'm an alcoholic and I can't stop being one any advice on how to cure me

Ask everyone in the world to replace your booze with jooze. Okay, bad pun. But you get what I mean; Vodka? Nope, now it’s water. 

I am new to the site. Any ideas on how to become friends with people?

Go around and post in all cap I'M IN LOVE WITH DRACO MALFOY and I'm sure you'll make friends

I've got a bad case of Hiccups and I can't get rid of them any ideas on how to get rid of the hiccups.

Eat a red hot chilli pepper on ‘accident’ to make yourself hiccup even more. 
(Really, blow out non-stop and they should go away!) 

I don’t want to keep some of my friends when in secondary school. How should I go about doing so?

Give them presents and they'll hate you for it and if that won't work say you love them

I love pizza I eat it every day now I want something else but I'm so addicted to pizza how can I stop this addiction