this is cause you ruined my toaster ):<
Granted! You now have a can full of things from the trail (twigs, dirt, leaves, bugs, etc.)

I wish to have 3 blue snake tongues instead of mine

(this is cause you ruined my trail mix):<
Granted! However, the snake’s meals are accompanying the tongues, including but not limited to: rats, insects, and frogs.

I wish to have a blue bicycle.

Granted! It will always be missing one essential screw, so whenever you try to ride it, it will collapse. Whenever you put it back together, there's also one extra screw you can't fit anywhere.

I wish no one would corrupt my wishes.

Granted!
I have now corrupted your wish >:3

I wish for something.

Granted! You get a piece of paper with the word something written on it!

I wish for a new dress

very evil Jane

Granted!
Your dress is now covered with spiders.

I wish my wish turned out good.

"Why spiders? Why couldn't it be 'Follow the butterflies'" Sorry. Reminded me of that

Granted! You get a good wish but it only lasts ten seconds

I wish for a cat

No need to apologize that was perfect

Granted!
Your new cat wants to kill you!

I wish I was fast at typing.

Granted! You mess up all of your spelling though...

I wish I could keep better track of time!

Granted!
But you will always be 1 minute late.

I wish I could do whatever I want.