Platypi.

Swim in a pool with sharks or walk through a park with lions?

Jump of a cliff, with a parachute.

Fall from a ship or fall from a plane?

Steal dinosaur eggs, doesn't matter to me because Im going to heaven when i die.

Would rather get hit with burnt toast forever or have onions under your open eyes forever?

Both, they probably put that in our food anyway. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.

Would you rather be a girl and grow a beard or be a guy and have a nice female chest?

Talk one word. I can use text-to-speech to say everything for me.

Would you rather be ignored by everywhere or chased by everyone?

Oh no, this is really hard... I'm going to assume that I'm able to survive if I don't sleep, so I'll just say no sleep.

Would you rather only be able to write/communicate in pictures, or never see a picture again?

Why are you doing this to me?
Write in pictures... it breaks my heart  

WYR not be able to read or not be able to write? 

Write.

Would you rather have the body of a dog with a human head or a the head of a dog with a human body?

First thing. 

Would you rather be able to change your gender or be able to change your face? 

Face?

Would you rather have no one to show up for your Wedding or your funeral?