Granted. Everyone either ignores you, makes fun of you, bullies you, or throws toilet paper at you. You are then known as poop girl.

I wish I had some cookies right now.

Granted but their disgusting.

I wish I had delicious ice cream right now.

Granted. The icecream melts all over your clothes and won't get out, just as a really cute person walks by.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but you fly with massive wings that resemble a bat's with ugly hair sprouting from them. Plus they're so huge you can't hide them.

I wish could climb Ben Nevis.

Granted. You climb almost all the way to the top before you appear at the bottom again. This repeats for eternity.
I wish school didn't exist.

Granted. But you then your stupid and don't know anything.

I wish I could be dating my crush!

granted. your crush spends the entire time dating you trying to kindly dump you, but you just don't get the hint and it's miserable for both of you.

I wish I could do everything I wanted

Granted but it disappears as soon as you try to use it
I wish I could live forever

Granted but but nothing interests you anymore.

I wish I could go through walls

Granted, but every time you whack your head.

I wish I could see love.